Saturday, July 13, 2019



JESUS: "A foolish man, which built his house on sand." BUDDHA: "Perishable is a city built on sand." (30) JESUS: "Therefore confess your sins one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed." BUDDHA: "Confess before the world the sins you have committed." (31) JESUS: "In him we have redemption through his blood, the foregiveness of sins." BUDDHA: "Let all sins that were committed in this world fall on me, that the world may be delivered." (32) JESUS: "Do to others as you would have them do to you." BUDDHA: "Consider others as yourself." (33) JESUS: "If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also." BUDDHA: "If anyone should give you a blow with his hand, with a stick, or with a knife, you should abandon all desires and utter no evil words." (34) JESUS: "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you." BUDDHA: "Hatreds do not cease in this world by hating, but by love: this is an eternal truth. Overcome anger by love, overcome evil by good." (35) JESUS: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." BUDDHA: "Let your thoughts of boundless love pervade the whole world." (36) JESUS: "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to cast a stone at her." BUDDHA: "Do not look at the faults of others or what others have done or not done; observe what you yourself have done and have not done." (37) JESUS: "You father in heaven makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous." BUDDHA: "The light of the sun and the moon illuminates the whole world, both him who does well and him who does ill, both him who stands high and him who stands low." (38) JESUS: "If you wish to be perfect, go sell your possessions, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven." BUDDHA: "The avaricious do not go to heaven, the foolish do not extol charity. The wise one, however, rejoicing in charity, becomes thereby happy in the beyond." (39)

Ok... finally at library... trying to take care of business... hoping to have interview and see what its like with the new online school... frustrated and overwhelmed with things, but I figure I can take of things one step at a time.. Happy that Jerrel was able to try to get my lawnmower fixed and then realizing that the garbage disposal isn't working because of the electric plug to dishwasher isn't working... I have to get a dishwasher... have so many things to do, but if I get the ball rolling... things will get done.. its about manifestation... whatever that is.. to be is to be perceived... Im happy that my son won another swim race... He won the freestyle, and second in backstroke and Brea stroke... He could have won the back if he kept a straight line! x mother in law was watching him and bought him a new pair of swim trunks! Chimney Hill is a pretty neighborhood with lots of trees.. If I plopped down not knowing where I was ... I wouldn't think I was in Oklahoma!

Saturday, July 06, 2019


All the time I waste... Or perhaps I'm wasting time writing thousands of pages for this blog about my life that perhaps her for you guys to read or really for me to read to just take a picture of the moment I'm so frustrated with my ex because she doesn't care and now I have to pay an extra $200 plus a late fee because she didn't tell me that we had to sign the lease by July 1st so we get an eviction notice and she thinks everything's going to be alright and she doesn't care because I have to pay all of the extra fees.... So I'm actually speech to texting right now and it's a whole new concept as far as how many books could a great writer right when he had this wonderful ability? I have all these ideas that I want to express to you... I should be proud of myself that I actually finally went to the library where I had a lot had access to a computer with internet and full capabilities so I could finish this application to this other job of teaching... I feel like Putnam City is really history there is so much politics dot-dot. Perhaps if I was a a gay lesbian it would be much easier for a me of to have kept this job... So I come home yesterday feeling better because I've actually put in another application and actually gotten off my ass and done something towards taking care of our very Dysfunctional Family... I have these ideas that I wanted to express to you yesterday but that after going to the apartment and seeing my ex dot-dot-dot She told me that we got an eviction notice just after we talked to the landlady of the apartment who really doesn't have the say-so was we had to talk to Ryan the very gay landlord

Thursday, July 04, 2019

19 2019 okay so I'm enjoying the medicine watching or looking forwardto actually Donald Trump make a fool of himself yet he wastes all of our government money on a parade for himself... in the meantime I'm trying to make peace with one third of our human afamily and we are doing our best to bring up our beautiful child but in the meantime I have to deal with my own laze ability .. and so I wonder who's gonna judge upon this essayp then I think about the good audience and sometimes I'm on the my cup is half-full type of thinking... 43

Wednesday, July 03, 2019

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when you're really down the night before, after a good sleep you feel so much better.. you see the sun shining and you see your son involved with swimming it's a whole nother day and it's a whole new hope...

I'm figuring out this text to speech especially when I'm trying to write on this blog from this Android phone which is super tiny and very little space so we'll see what happens is Donald Trump says...

Tuesday, July 02, 2019

I feel like I'm at a low point and a lot of it is because I don't feel like I'm getting the love from my son or the appreciation or the respect ....i lot because im startinglike a real loser because I'm not getting ass back from this duration of need contract where you don't get fired but you just don't get asked back and they don't have to give you any reason why they're not asking you back... I try so hard sometimes and for what pointless reason.. a few days ago I was actually feeling good but then I got some rejections again after all of these interviews and like I was trying to tell my doctor whether I was just depressed or just sad because I feel like a failure and my son calls me a loser and today I actually was just crying because I felt so frustrated because he prefers to be with his mother..8 yet I pay her rent I work so hard and she's not even working and she wants to spend most of the time with my son and I hurt so much ...and I wish I wish that I could talk to an older colin a little more mature and would be a little bit more understanding. but even his dad is fragile and it hurts... I'm crying right now just frustrated... feel so overwhelmed wondering what I'm going to do wondering how I can pay all those taxes, property taxes that are owed in Australia and I just don't feel appreciated.. I work so hard and I know I can do a great job and I've know I've done a good job I just for me being me I feel not appreciated... maybe the fact that I've gone without alcohol not that I drank very much maybe one or two apple ciders or even a beer but realizing how much I would feel better if I just had a big toll one right now but I'm trying to fight the urge but maybe that's why I'm just getting a little depressed and it's night after having an argument with the ex because she wanted to have my son three nights in a row. what row dot-d.... He is listening to me right now and he responds when I talk to my blog, "yeah so Dad?" he be so mean to me and his mom... and I guess it's karma(?) for perhaps when I was mean to my parents.. but I would never dare be as mean or disrespectful to my father as to what I tolerate from my son .. g and he was really nice and respectful to his uncle Ron and he actually read to him but I'm not forceful enough I just let things happen and I just let people f****** me over. why does life have to be such a struggle... I know things could be a lot harder and at least I have a little cushion of a little money saved up... but I should be able to get a special ed job but I feel like the forces are against me and I'm embarrassed even though the circumstances I'm just I'm just been very unlucky like continually losing a backgammon and I thought this year would be a victory in my mind with the students I thought it was a victory... I wanted to be a victory with being a good father but I have to be tough and we have to seek out co-counseling...