Saturday, November 24, 2018


   Seriously... I’m  noticing time just continue to accelerate...I’m having my morning poop and then I’m falling asleep to Stephen Cole bear.
Thanksgiving   Christmas  🎄 Easter  🐣 the times that I really need to connect with my family and my friends. I feel so guilty about so many things and then worry about other people‘s judgment even worry about with my new friend will think. Am I wanting friendship so badly ...I wish that we could’ve had that marvelously creative weekend. And maybe there’s a chance that we can do it God willing or infinity willing. Thanksgiving Christmas these are the times that are hard. But at least I got to have fun trick-or-treating with my son.I still have not been able to forgive myself for really thinking that I’m a loser. Then an ex-girlfriend called me pathetic. I’ve had two thanksgivings by myself. Two Christmases by myself. It finally now Angela and the whole exclan are giving up Christmas. So will you meet need to make it this a lot of fun and have a Christmas 🎄 tree. My son just turned 10... I neeed to devote myself to him.   Maybe ole grandpa will give us nice Xmas present.. 🌿

My brain 🧠 still reverts to childhood thinking... I cherish all the holiday s when our families were larger,closer, more intimate, s

Friday, November 23, 2018

I do my most productive work in my bathroom library 📚

I was digressing I suppose and reminiscing about  my visit to the Rez... and the year with Steve in tohatchi I discussed about this bloke , Jesus in a Harley... the play we produced with Steve’s help... how this charismatic bloke with faux hippy appearances, took over this town with the deftness of a “Jedi warrior “(when he bragged about himself)... Steve and I had a party one , only time ,and  he came over to tell us to turn down music in his attempt to shut down his party... he hwosted his own parties with his young elite peace Corp group... likeTrump, a legend in his own mind... Mayor Gripka of Tohatchi..

Leigh Anne and Crowmac... can you look at my rough drafts and tell me which posts are best...

  1. My audience..?  InI sure look ike an old 🎅 c

Please Lord, help me find my wallet!

 Well, the party never happened. My friend in LA is going through a lot of stuff. My friend Crowmac, was willing but I wanted the three of us to be together and just start writing. To figure out a way to get the stuff published.
I’m kind of jealous or envious .those words are interchangeable. This guy , something Segel was just on the view. Apparently he’s a successful movie actor but then he suddenly decides to write some science books , at the age of 33. I would love to see his incubation period and the steps to where he finally put it together!. It would be wonderful to see him in action and where he disciplines himself to write...He was motivated by an Xgf who dumped him after telling him from airport she “needed to talk”Do you answer the door naked and then put on some clothes that were horrible to make the break up even more painful. He did not get over her for 10 years. I think I just got over an ex girlfriend from 17 years ago. I believe I’m finally over her... I’m afraid to tell you why I got over her because people are so judge mental....(maybe sometime I will tell u)

I actually look forward to being in my own cannabis cafe... It’s funny how we just get judge mental on other people and even on ourselves for the fact that we enjoy a little bit of this magical herb.
. I am very frustrated at myself that I don’t put my wallet in the same place each night.
 Very strong part of me is very frustrated at myself that I haven’t done much less productive. And I get onto myself because I’m a father and I don’t want my son to call me a loser. I worked very hard for this family. And regardless I feel like others judge me and I never can meet up to their standards of normality or stability. But I had a job now going on two years .... I am scared because some of my readers .
I think about crazy ex-girlfriend’s and my crazy ex .. People have become so judge mental in this day and age crabs with this social media?
 Bummer everything that I wrote about Jesus on his Harley was not published for some reason. I love to write in it is frustrating when I do a lot of writing and then it’s all gone.

I think about how some of these angry people including possibly my crazy ex-girlfriend’s. I was reminded of the craziness when I was thinking about visiting the kc Zone.. I think about this X who was missing my Johnson... She had friended me on Facebook earlier this year and we are always talking about a run of you. I have so I made the mistake of texting her two or three times and then suddenly she’s saying that she’s going to call the OKC police department because I am over texted her.. Funny how when we were dating many many years ago she would call me at all sorts of hours just to get me in trouble ... In the meantime she would often have late-night sex with a rapist.  But I did enjoy your time in KC. Is it wasn’t for her I would not of meant my good friend LeeAnn. It’s even more coincidental or perhaps a sign from above that my good friend chrome bag came to live in KC only about a mile from where I taught at arrowhead middle school with a very angry  contolling administrator...  I taught very angry middle school children I’m trying to help one student with chess. I was successful for at least half a year and then it went downhill after his temper tantrum.
But I did digress. I want to get into telling you about the mermaid tales... Steve and Leanne tell me that I need to put them into short story form. Crowmac ,Steve, taught English at tohatch, when peace Corp Jesus was at his peak of taking over the tribe as a “Jedi Knight” would,,Many were under his throat and entranced by his charisma. Actually Donald Trump Kinda reminds me of him. I’ve met many of these blokes who take over a group of followers... 🐑🐑🐑 The Peace Corps and teach for America youngsters we’re up in their own little set of clicks. This bloke was their leader. He even got a football coach fired so he could take over. The next year he never won a game...  The next year my wife and I were in Australia and he had the best little cabin in the teacher ridge which was paid for by the school district. When I went to visit to District to pick up my car over a year later once summer I found out that he was continually asking if I was going to come back to the Rez...

 or Steve

Thursday, November 22, 2018

 Happy Thanksgiving day. knowing that my ex wife and son are enjoying Thanksgiving with the X in-laws.?
I enjoy people sometimes...but many x prefer being alone..hurt so many x for being different... and doing things the other..
 Why worry. I know things will get better. The hardest obstacles are ahead of us and I really want to enjoy this time ..
I was hoping to go to Kansas City with my old infinity but for some reason I cannot find my wallet. I really hate when I lose shit. I have so many things to do but I suppose this week I’ll just relax watch TV and enjoy this state of vegetation and hibernation.

 I work her all week and wish that I could just hang out more with my son. There are so many things that I have to do. ...