Monday, December 10, 2018

No smocking gun

How did so many vote for an illiterate crook 💩?
Well.. I wrote a bunch and self censored 🤬 it... my words get me in trouble..
 fortunately I’m not Khashoggi and have stay away from Arabian embassies for fear of being cut up into little pieces...
 I got a mean stare from trailer trash man who eavesdrops from his old trailer permanently parked next door... he is always out there trying to hear the local gossip opening up the doors 🚪 everyday to the van.
I’ll
Never get over the old bloke coming to court to help conman builder.. deciding to talk about my behavior at small claims court when the case was about the crook owing 5000 $ of work
The judge shut him up before he even opened his mouth,

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Cavesgivings

   Seriously... I’m  noticing time just continue to accelerate...I’m having my morning poop and then I’m falling asleep to Stephen Cole bear.
Thanksgiving   Christmas  🎄 Easter  🐣 the times that I really need to connect with my family and my friends. I feel so guilty about so many things and then worry about other people‘s judgment even worry about with my new friend will think. Am I wanting friendship so badly ...I wish that we could’ve had that marvelously creative weekend. And maybe there’s a chance that we can do it God willing or infinity willing. Thanksgiving Christmas these are the times that are hard. But at least I got to have fun trick-or-treating with my son.I still have not been able to forgive myself for really thinking that I’m a loser. Then an ex-girlfriend called me pathetic. I’ve had two thanksgivings by myself. Two Christmases by myself. It finally now Angela and the whole exclan are giving up Christmas. So will you meet need to make it this a lot of fun and have a Christmas 🎄 tree. My son just turned 10... I neeed to devote myself to him.   Maybe ole grandpa will give us nice Xmas present.. 🌿

My brain 🧠 still reverts to childhood thinking... I cherish all the holiday s when our families were larger,closer, more intimate, s

Friday, November 23, 2018

I do my most productive work in my bathroom library 📚

I was digressing I suppose and reminiscing about  my visit to the Rez... and the year with Steve in tohatchi I discussed about this bloke , Jesus in a Harley... the play we produced with Steve’s help... how this charismatic bloke with faux hippy appearances, took over this town with the deftness of a “Jedi warrior “(when he bragged about himself)... Steve and I had a party one , only time ,and  he came over to tell us to turn down music in his attempt to shut down his party... he hwosted his own parties with his young elite peace Corp group... likeTrump, a legend in his own mind... Mayor Gripka of Tohatchi..

Leigh Anne and Crowmac... can you look at my rough drafts and tell me which posts are best...


  1. My audience..?  InI sure look ike an old 🎅 c

Please Lord, help me find my wallet!

 Well, the party never happened. My friend in LA is going through a lot of stuff. My friend Crowmac, was willing but I wanted the three of us to be together and just start writing. To figure out a way to get the stuff published.
I’m kind of jealous or envious .those words are interchangeable. This guy , something Segel was just on the view. Apparently he’s a successful movie actor but then he suddenly decides to write some science books , at the age of 33. I would love to see his incubation period and the steps to where he finally put it together!. It would be wonderful to see him in action and where he disciplines himself to write...He was motivated by an Xgf who dumped him after telling him from airport she “needed to talk”Do you answer the door naked and then put on some clothes that were horrible to make the break up even more painful. He did not get over her for 10 years. I think I just got over an ex girlfriend from 17 years ago. I believe I’m finally over her... I’m afraid to tell you why I got over her because people are so judge mental....(maybe sometime I will tell u)

I actually look forward to being in my own cannabis cafe... It’s funny how we just get judge mental on other people and even on ourselves for the fact that we enjoy a little bit of this magical herb.
. I am very frustrated at myself that I don’t put my wallet in the same place each night.
 Very strong part of me is very frustrated at myself that I haven’t done much less productive. And I get onto myself because I’m a father and I don’t want my son to call me a loser. I worked very hard for this family. And regardless I feel like others judge me and I never can meet up to their standards of normality or stability. But I had a job now going on two years .... I am scared because some of my readers .
I think about crazy ex-girlfriend’s and my crazy ex .. People have become so judge mental in this day and age crabs with this social media?
 Bummer everything that I wrote about Jesus on his Harley was not published for some reason. I love to write in it is frustrating when I do a lot of writing and then it’s all gone.


I think about how some of these angry people including possibly my crazy ex-girlfriend’s. I was reminded of the craziness when I was thinking about visiting the kc Zone.. I think about this X who was missing my Johnson... She had friended me on Facebook earlier this year and we are always talking about a run of you. I have so I made the mistake of texting her two or three times and then suddenly she’s saying that she’s going to call the OKC police department because I am over texted her.. Funny how when we were dating many many years ago she would call me at all sorts of hours just to get me in trouble ... In the meantime she would often have late-night sex with a rapist.  But I did enjoy your time in KC. Is it wasn’t for her I would not of meant my good friend LeeAnn. It’s even more coincidental or perhaps a sign from above that my good friend chrome bag came to live in KC only about a mile from where I taught at arrowhead middle school with a very angry  contolling administrator...  I taught very angry middle school children I’m trying to help one student with chess. I was successful for at least half a year and then it went downhill after his temper tantrum.
 ..
But I did digress. I want to get into telling you about the mermaid tales... Steve and Leanne tell me that I need to put them into short story form. Crowmac ,Steve, taught English at tohatch, when peace Corp Jesus was at his peak of taking over the tribe as a “Jedi Knight” would,,Many were under his throat and entranced by his charisma. Actually Donald Trump Kinda reminds me of him. I’ve met many of these blokes who take over a group of followers... 🐑🐑🐑 The Peace Corps and teach for America youngsters we’re up in their own little set of clicks. This bloke was their leader. He even got a football coach fired so he could take over. The next year he never won a game...  The next year my wife and I were in Australia and he had the best little cabin in the teacher ridge which was paid for by the school district. When I went to visit to District to pick up my car over a year later once summer I found out that he was continually asking if I was going to come back to the Rez...







 or Steve

Thursday, November 22, 2018

 Happy Thanksgiving day. knowing that my ex wife and son are enjoying Thanksgiving with the X in-laws.?
I enjoy people sometimes...but many x prefer being alone..hurt so many x for being different... and doing things the other..
 Why worry. I know things will get better. The hardest obstacles are ahead of us and I really want to enjoy this time ..
I was hoping to go to Kansas City with my old infinity but for some reason I cannot find my wallet. I really hate when I lose shit. I have so many things to do but I suppose this week I’ll just relax watch TV and enjoy this state of vegetation and hibernation.

 I work her all week and wish that I could just hang out more with my son. There are so many things that I have to do. ...

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Continue this and I'm sure I will get Strife from some of those that dislike me or aspects of the way I care for my home and family... People love to talk crap!   And more so with divider in chief..
I think I really need to get another computer... Have to learn how to use computer... telling me so much to write everything down.. Happy , that the eastern neighbor s have gone on road trip with ugly white trailer blocking my view.. not much of view down 83rd street .. probably will use it against me and are great friends with ba Showalter, conman builder still thriving on taking innocent victims $$... He was in a neighborhood near a colleague of mine... Should warn others not to trust contractor who con folk s in next door... Funny how trailer trash jerk went to court with showalter...to complain about my behavior (??)...judge shot him down and embarrassed the resident asshole..(bloke didn't show up in afternoon).. while showalter ended up with 5k fine for not job on my eaves and big shed I envision ed in back yard... Problem was how could I make him pay... He stayed rent free for 2 years... Not doing an iota of work while we were in oz
.. parties in my honor

Sunday, August 05, 2018

PTSD.  Post traumatic divorced syndrome..
  ... My son has become my friend although the feeling s not mutual... But when we go swimming, I know he loves me.
 I just don't enjoy talking to my ... But should be happy to see him every day.. looking for to pickup from school and have a few more swim lessons before school starts

Saturday, August 04, 2018

Wow!!! Amazing how Trump Les and tears up our country!  So so much to do and I'm overwhelmed    summer I have been binge-watching obsessed with what Trump is doing to this country... Trying to relax but so overwhelmed with the Herculean (my corresponding by cave pool) tasks to save our families' bed on the beach... Need some serious legal advice about the best way to help my financial issues..... Oh yes... 500 Russian s have checked out my story last month!

Friday, July 27, 2018

Wow... Amazing how psychic...  My son just says  I'm just psycho... Still prefer to be anonymous but the neighbors we ve never enjoyed always appear to be  be curious about my behavior or activities besides talking crap to all my tenants for decades or going to court to be embarrassed by the judgr.. .    I lost Buffy for 2 days.. I went into "next door neighbor"... The retired couple immediately joined within an hour... After I found my blessed walkabout bitch... I wash her , feed her ...she has a great night. Sleeping at foot of my Bed great night sleep... Take her for very. Long bike ride.. she's exhaust ed... take her to my wading pool in overgrown semi tropical backyard.. ask her to stay...she takes off through  the fence she previous ly put a whole thru... I yell out and bike through ,hood... Give up...sit down to the history of Putin took over and his affairs with trump and other America s leader s ... while watching , see latest on" next door neighbor" !!...   Latest reply"Your 'lost' dog is on our porch!" Thanks neighbor! 😎😇

Sunday, July 08, 2018

Found a chair and I sit there... Had issues with sitting on a chair on a beach.. there are a lot more ugly things than chairs... Like all the plastic bottles taking up thousands of square miles.. or huge pickup trucks... Or trailer s parked in driveways...I'd like to write more but intimidated because I worry about the audience... Mowed the lawn... And happy to see my son everyday.. I wish we could be looking at the ocean instead of a trailer with a nosy neighbor sleeping in it.. 

Friday, July 06, 2018

where are you LA? I need your help...we are still planning on going to OZ, but as usual there are Herculean tasks ahead of us...

happy that Im with my son everyday and taking him to swim lessons! 

Im hoping the lessons will help him be able to swim in the ocean!

I still want to write a best seller or even publish this blog...

Can you help?

Saturday, May 05, 2018

  beautiful weekend with my son.   Still very weird about seeing Showalter

Tuesday, May 01, 2018

wow.... so many things I d love to discuss... but fears... I felt the interview was good yesterday... It was nice that invited my coach
I made good eye contact... I need to get a regular computer or laptop

Friday, April 13, 2018

Friday the 13th... taking 2 personal days...it appears the strike is over.. watching Netflix hanging out with son...
every time, I walk outside, nosy neighbor working on his eyesores, that block his rebuilt driveway, an  avid trump supporter, but that makes sense as he s friends with the conman builder, who still is in this town and owes me several thousand...
I need to talk to my lawyer... he reads this blog, so he'll whine about it to my other neighbors and call up the crook



Wednesday, April 11, 2018





          
      life passes by so quickly to grab the few moments of happiness… you feel good sometimes,,, and other times you missed the party while the human race devolves and heads towards Armageddon….
  1. perhaps you thought life
    would get better… waiting for a higher high… while thinking are you ever going to be young again on the beach…
    I felt with you that you could read my mind…
    that twin souls happened once in the cycle of life when you were riding on the horse bareback as your ancestors did…


    your mind connects with the dolphins and the whale… you hear their concert in the seas…. your cousins decided to descend into the waters…..
    I felt this connection… this Vulcan mind meld… dealing with the pain , accepting the love of my life passed away in my arm, drastically trying to pump life in her..
    i couldn’t save her, so do  I go into your childlike safe zone???
    , where I  can feel safe like in a womb, in the okie zone…  I had ventured out and our beautiful son was born, another life conceived, in my life with the Navajo


    and then met his mother on the evening while the sun went behind the mountains surrounding silverton…
    I thought what a curse??!  and we take a trip west to California
    and she decides to live with me and the Indians of the Rez,,,
    where colin Murray was conceived,,, in the teacher ridge of Tohatchi   ,,,our little cabin… but perhaps thinking of you sharing this adventure.
    and then we were off to Oz!!!
    a first class water birth all paid for by blue cross blue shield…


    now we are hanging out here…in the okie zone…. thanking our creator each day….the energy I feel sometimes,,, when a thought happens and its echoed on tv…
    as far as echoes, when I wrote, I wrote to you,,, I thought I could save you when I couldn’t save my alene…buried in the cold earth.. sorry we never married…
    but my common law wife…. she would always forgive…did I stray and then she would stray… but with my friend and coworker from met life…
    how do I forgive, but then I want you to forgive me.. but I don’t think you will
    I am so sad that you are hurting so much every day,,,
    I wish and pray that I could give you some happiness

Wednesday, March 28, 2018


I still haven't forgotten you.
it was enjoyable going on a field trip with my old friends government class to visit the capitol and ask questions of legislators.... one very angry secretary came out to confront the students who were asking how suspicious it is that few of these lawmakers are out...
she thought they had an attitude...
I knew she was angry and tried to placate her....talking to her only her gave her ammunition, some folks enjoy bullying..
maybe she has a need to piss like some females do to mark their territory
my  female dog urinates to mark her territory
 she must have been having issues to be so defensive and angry
regardless, she call the principal to complain about the students...
  I heard them and they were not rude... amazing
no worries
my friend visited her later and placated the angry lady


and we wonder why folks laugh at this state??

Saturday, March 24, 2018

another road to visit again... groundhog year,,,
vacation of slumming and taking it easy... first half with my son and second half without,,, a gorgeous,,, will watch and coach my sons soccer team sans my son.. cant wait to see him again...
I worry now as a parent , but have eternal optimism

Sunday, March 18, 2018

suddenly.... you are in the zone... for at least getting old... u have a weekend with your son before u worry that she'll keep him in whillockville...
when she takes him away for the 2nd half of vacation and wont come back


and then fall prey to  grandma shelob's web on main street the foothills of the Ozarks,,,


excommunicated .... but then a passage is given from the bible  to forgive, when you find out shelob made a duplicate of the key for her daughter


I don't know whom I love to hate more , shelob or the game of thrones incestual queen mother,, ive never met governor mary fallon (perhaps she could be on my miss ogeny list)..... seeing the fakeness come through in her plastic face




I am just letting myself be lazy this weekend after having hard few weeks at school, relishing the snow days with my son....in limbo as to our future and the endless challenges to live in oz...


I am again challenged to type on this puter without touching the annoying mouse bar that will erase or put letters and words in the wrong paragraph.. and it takes me 10 times longer,,
I forget and hit the mouse bar.. 
 I wonder out there how to write more efficiently on a lap top without resting my palms on the mouse?


an ole flame has asked to chat with me on facebook  telling me I was the last man to be intimate with...  hmmmm
 ... knowing I have been burned by so many women and (conmen) in my life....



 father son time, slummin and hangin out
and this me 2 generations that worry if u become famous , how many will complain that u groped or kissed them??,,,, I love reminiscing but I have my fears
of rekindling...
when do you know there was a chemistry with some.... when u know some moments u could read each others thoughts,,, that "vulcan mind meld"
while being deep inside of each other





but sometimes I feel that way that someone is almost exactly where u are in biology lesson.. I have an idea and the teacher whom I collaborate with uses the idea...
perhaps like having a song in your brain and someone sings it the way you heard in your brain>>
those perhaps are deja vu moments (???)

Monday, March 12, 2018

hes watching  steven Colbert.... and thinking he could ve been up there...
sad that heure wished .... he could have had more lives to do so many things...
phases of his life...
healing...
and then slowly reaching getting back into the cruise... he could feel sad...
but he figures he could plug along, being patient until he can take his family back to t Oz,,,






good day... except he x, whom I am obliged to take care of so that  can see my son.. I  worry about talking about teaching...
this laptop frustrates me.. haven't figured out how to avoid the mouse bar.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Another wonderful weekend with my son
. Debating about whether to answer and talk to an old flame
Life is so short and time goes by so quickly. Is it worth it to reconnect with Old Flames.  will it hurt just more.. Life is About the connections u make..  regardless of the neighbors and whomever the audience is I need to really write my feelings down every single day.  I really enjoy weekend's especially lazy weekends when  I just get to   hang around with my son my dog and my beautiful black cat

Friday, March 09, 2018

another great week with my son




great weeks with him...
seeing him grow,
jealous that  the teacher spends more time on the growth of his  mind


I want to do so much, excited that we gave great lesson,,,,,
...
I loved her encouragement and support....
thinking I could be married to woman who believes in me and pushes me to be my best


now im feeling tired finally, so I need to go to sleep








I love you

Sunday, February 25, 2018

amazing how your mood changes e when it is a gorgeous sunny day... funny how many of my audience are from Russia


I really need to get in the habit of writing a little more each day but it is so frustrating from a laptop
computer

Well I can do some  writing now without actually having to write
already sights on spring with this gorgeous day!

Saturday, February 24, 2018

time is flying by... what a week

wow.. time is flying by...
feeling happy after having cabin fever after frigid weather... liked it when I use the point and speak... as usual so many things to write to you about... an old friend from KC wants to friends again.. im hoping with this year back to teaching will help me to mature as a person.. learing to forgive and having hope we can have a future with the crazy folks running our government.. thank for reading and I will write more again! even with nosy neighbors and BA reading this
f