Thursday, November 23, 2017

wow.....

another day... wonderful being with my son... want to tell you everything but most of my readers are judgmental.... and then angry thoughts immediately came to the bastard who stayed in my home free for a year while continuing to rip me off... it upsets my neighbors to let it go...
but it wont because I still have the freedom to write when I have been wronged...I know first of all that the bloke who colluded with BA Showalter.... remember the bloke coming to trial byand told to shut up by the judge... Eric and I should have demanded or gone down the elevator with the conman asking when he will pay...
( I just don't want getting emails about letting it go...when victims have not let go of injustice 30 years ago)
now we as victims of power and bullies will always  have the right in this country
 express mysef... but still I am still so stifled in all the things I want to say... this laptop frustrates me...because I cant set my wrists down... for fear of messing things up

Sunday, August 06, 2017

Its frustrating on this blog I have to figure out how to work this better so when I do an update it doesn't change the original date ...l

True grit

I keep thinking it's going to get better in the mornin...   she cuts me down in front of my son it's difficult not to retaliate, when we have a good evening.. she expects me stop.. I want to go home and cook.. because we spent a lot of what I borrowed.. for my x..
 But  I keep hoping things will get better. they don't... A day is ruined when she complains about my home attracting  mice gives lecture on the hunta virus. I lose it.

 Especially after being called a loser, when I finally get full time, so I ask if she has ever kept a job..    
    So it's about a week later... My determination to keep our family by helping my x to feel better about ourselves... watching American grit with John ciena .. he has charm and grit impressed with the way he had his audience.. they love him... I see the similarities between himself and what I could have been or what maybe I still can be!

Monday, July 24, 2017

one thing I learn from my own history, is that is that sometimes I learn very little from herstory....


how come they don't ever say her story?   ... I thought there was a chance we could get a long, hoping that we could figure out how not to annoy each other... she complains that my place is a mess and no kids would come over because he would be too embarrassed about my home... so she takes daily potshots and cutdowns, so that I cannot help but react... things are peaceful until she gets up about 1130, I make her breakfast but she is continually making demands ... while I cannot get my son out of the house when we have had a string of 100 degree days..., so the only way to get water and some inexpensive frozen tv dinners, which you can stretch out to feed 3 , when there is enough daily requirements of sodium for our whole family with one meal!


I could go on and on... but its too depressing ... I finally had to ask her to go so I could enjoy the last week visitation of my son (without her) until xmas!  I cannot help crying in front of her and dread having to beg each day going through her and her perfect controlling mother to communicate with my son who hates me more each day... always showing his love for me by hitting me

Sunday, July 16, 2017

ancient elephants and attention challenged mermen

wow....   sidetracked by a couple different herds of elephants at a  gathering in the African reserve,  ... his mind  thinking about a creature like a large ancient elephant evolving into whales... and how human creatures could have evolved into aquatic hominids... so now he's distracted by bloke who likes to hear him self talk and proclaims himself higher in the pecking order of this worlds... they establish themselves sometimes successfully...
Look at Trump   (don't get me started),,,


he says to himself that he needs to discipline himself to write at least for 5 minutes  every single day, while letting his thoughts flow as jack Kerouac wrote on every available piece of paper (even toilet paper0...he's sad or frustrated  perhaps that he cannot write as fast as the many images run through his mind...


 exhilarated, after talking to his son on Skype for an hour and a half , but with trepidation ( about when she arrives) , in my own mind a test of whether they are capable of getting a long?? 2 alpha minuses stubborn in their own strata s of laziness...




and then he's distracted by bronzed lady and litter looking for book, while her well toned legs show off the hours by the swimming pool...
he thinks of the  rainbow gathering school lady who picked up the old man and his son while they were walking along the dirt road in the high hills of the many acres of the  Mahana colony....


she took them to the most beautiful spot of the maori peninsula where she parked her school bus...
these magical experiences happen once in a lifetime.....


https://www.vice.com/en_nz/article/7xzn34/inside-mahana-when-a-commune-turns-to-rot





Saturday, July 15, 2017

POLITICO: EMAILS RELEASED BY DONALD TRUMP, JR. SHOW "AN INTENT TO COLLUDE WITH RUSSIA" TO INFLUENCE OUR ELECTIONS
We've suspected from the start, but now it's UNDENIABLE: The Trump campaign knowingly tried to collude with Russian officials to influence the 2016 election.
This isn't just unprecedented, friends , Okies, yanks, it's un-American.
Trump's campaign team worked with a foreign power to try to swing the election against Hillary – and they've LIED about it, time and time again. The Trump administration has cozied up to Russia even when it could put America at risk – like when it moved to let Russians return to compounds they've used for spying. Now that the truth is coming out, we have to act before the media moves on to the next Trump outrage.
 
ok.... that was just  an email about how we need to work together to impeach Trump and this whole warped republican for the rich mentality...as long as they throw in guns and abortion, the poor will keep voting for the party of the rich hypocrites!





 
 
 
so what do we do?  .... in every way  possible write, complain, voice your efforts to express that we are losing our democracy and our country to a few authoritian assholes, that want to make themselves richer and more powerful, while claiming to be Christian!


ive been watching" Logan", (played by that aussie actor  that my very good friend and brother from another mother met when he was involved doing documentaries for the emmies, and I suppose its post apocalyptic ...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Friday, July 14, 2017

feel like if my life is a bell curve or just endless curves of ups and downs.... I think with me it will be an ever bigger crest, that I can body surf with my soulmate to paradise....

listening how the poor coral reefs are dying... trump and most repubs don't care about the temp of oceans increasing... thinking it wont happen in their life time.. well imagine when one you even 1 degree increase, especially if you already have a high fever.. that could put your body into a coma..
think of that happening to your world , when 50 percent of the species that you were born with will be gone before your death!!

my beloved OZ with the great barrier reefs coral dying in my state of my sons birth, Queensland..
she wants to go back there and Ive always realized and told her that I cant take Colin to Oz without her and my passport is safe in my lawyers office... we would have to get another passport and me go through the very long emotionally wearing task of getting all the paperwork and realizing all that we have to do..

my mind is working but my fingers grow tired.. my house is getting very hot except for the one room where I put my last credit on a tiny window unit... it does gets its money back in 2 months savings! and I am so much more comfortable... I need to get another unit for living room when my son comes to visit...hoping that she will change custody to equal joint custody.. I feel she still does think about me and miss me , but she misses how much fun she had in Oz!

Thursday, July 13, 2017

well finally im doing something more productive than playing this very rigged backgammon game, that I stupidly got hooked on again, figuring I could win at least half the games.. its programmed so that I lose about 52% of the games.. so if I have winning streaks, then sure enough, the opponents will have incredible luck rolls doubles necessary to get out several x in a row....

oko... ive feeling more creative lately especially when I realize I have great friends and brother who still loves me ( I think)... for some reason , it seemed like he had been reading my blog, because if I told him on his machine that ive borrowed from friends...
so now I can pay off the water bill, especially forgetting to turn off the water for my new pool (used and left on curb on another street..im not too proud to do that :( )
so now in the hot summer after going for bike ride with my Buffy so she can take her twice daily poop and the both of us old creatures need exercise !
...and pee... when she pees , I have to come to a complete halt, as if she threw an anchor, enough that I almost fall out of my bike when she stops!

so ive wanting to see how tiny our conman Don of American crooks' hands are?? they are 7 and 1/4..
Mine are 8 and a half... im less than inch taller than trump. so his hands are the size of a bloke about 5 foot 2 according to stats!, so little Marco Rubio was correct! therefore according to most with tiny hands , he would have a pp less than 3 inches... as I told you before a Russian prostitute was interviewed , she was telling the interviewer  as if trying to hold back her tears (of laughter)....

he claims it still works, so maybe because theres less material for blood to be pumped into ? (sorry for those that might be offended)

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/how-small-are-trumps-hands-916593

Care to compare with The Donald? Print here and measure up against Trump's 7 1/4-inch-long right hand — just slightly less than that of the average man — which was cast in bronze at the museum's Times Square location.
Find out for yourself how you measure up to Trump. Click here for a printable, life-size look at one of Trump's hands.
Lincoln's ghost. Nixon's missing tapes. Carter and the killer rabbit. And now, to the long list of presidential mysteries, add the true size of Donald Trump's hands.


and about other things I wanted to mention, my friend does is a film producer, (mostly for weddings but so many things especially documentaries... I was telling him my idea of creating this movie...
I was very pumped after  hearing from this critic and earlier today her excitement of the movie... woody harrelson gives his best performance... a few folks have said that I look like Woody...playing the ultimate human authoritarian!

Robin, we have to get this idea and the evolution of our cousins in the sea!

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

"Why are Republicans so cruel to the poor? Paul Ryan’s profound hypocrisy stands for a deeper problem "

I was late on my water bill, so I have to pay the full amount instead of the payment plan that I had worked out with them.. and I cant afford a plumber, so I cant the stop the constant drip in my bathtub that fills up the tub everyday.. I plugged up the bathroom to see how much im losing per day, and use it to take a cool bath...
while I have one window unit in my bedroom, because I cant afford for the central air con man to come out and find out I probably will have to buy a new central unit.. that cost over 2 k when the voodoo witch was living with me  ( karma has hit the poor lady so much but I still want to help her even with the curse she put on me)
there is no sub pay, but most  this will get better when I get my first decent paycheck in a very long time... so I don't have to feel guilty about being a very poor father..i have to figure out a way, so I am calling all the community help lines that depend on donations.. I am so thankful of friends that have helped me out.. as a last resort I left a message with my older brother knowing I will get a lecture... I will be seeing my son for only 2 weeks and I have little funds to help make his stay enjoyable.. Ive been trying with no luck to get a hold of the IRS to get my pay statements.. I have to bite the bullet and take care of that in this stifling heat...
\

http://www.salon.com/2017/03/23/why-are-republicans-so-cruel-to-the-poor-paul-ryans-profound-hypocrisy-stands-for-a-deeper-problem/

funny how I just did a search... and my words came up as others are wise to "y republicans are cruel to the poor?"   others resent when you are poor because they feel you have made bad choices...

yes , but in other well off (relatively) countries, we would always have access to help... there are many republican people who are helpful, but the party and the underlying philosophy is its their fault and they are automatically guilty...but somehow Republicans hijacked the right wing Christian thinking after George Jr. came into realizing that he could court the vote much better than his father (who was above separating church from state).... suddenly they decide to garner the religious vote by going after right to life and right to have huge guns that kill folks....(ie ak 47s and make it easier for underage gang members to buy the weapons of mass killing than buy some beer at the corner store!)
so Im just curious when our country  turned away from helping others... with Ronald Reagan and then right wing media taking a hold of the philosophy of religious conservatives... Rush Limbaugh and right wing Faux (fake ) News! 


so bottom line, you could say I'm well into  the poverty level! my income for the last 2 years was well under 13k... enough for me to qualify for Medicaid and food stamps... this is with regular substitute pay of only 75$ for a certified teacher... the working poor are exactly the way the "plantation economy" worked in the south... Bill Moyers described it and I'm realizing the rich 1 percent have adopted this mentality...

"It is normal to feel aghast at and disgusted by the Republican Party’s war on the poor. The more challenging and perhaps even more disturbing task is to ask why today’s conservatives feel such antipathy, disregard and hostility toward poor and other vulnerable Americans. Certainly greed and a slavish devotion to a revanchist right-wing ideology are part of the answer. But they may not be sufficient
Conservatives are more likely to exhibit social dominance and bullying behavior. This is a function of their authoritarian tendencies. The election of Donald Trump exemplifies this phenomenon.
American political elites often use language that robs poor and other marginalized people of their individuality, humanity and dignity. This language also creates a type of social distance between “middle class” or “normal” Americans and those with economic disadvantages."

"Conservatism is a type of motivated social cognition that by its very nature is hostile to members of groups on the lower rungs of the social hierarchy.
And conservatives are more likely than liberals or progressives to believe in what’s known as the “just world fallacy,” whereby people who suffer a misfortune are viewed as somehow deserving their fate. Conservatives are also more likely than liberals or progressives to not use systems-level thinking as a way to understand that individuals don’t exist separate and apart from society. Conservatives are also more likely to defend social inequality as “fair and legitimate.”
Social psychologists have shown that, in effect, poor people become invisible to the rich and upper classes.
The psychological dynamic known as “diffusion of responsibility,” whereby people tend to ignore those in crisis — especially if they’re perceived as being of a different social group, race, ethnicity or class — also encourages a lack of empathy and concern. It undercuts policies meant to offer direct assistance to vulnerable and marginalized individuals and communities. A perverse corollary to the “diffusion of responsibility” can also be used to legitimize punitive policies that target specific individuals and groups."

Monday, July 10, 2017

im figuring a lot of theses technical qualities of the text to speech.... I knew that I would feel better in the morning.. not feeling so lonely... just enjoying the morning... going for a swim in the new (used) outdoor tub... thinking about the moles that are digging holes all over my yards, especially my backyard,.. trying castor, oil, poison peanuts (animal rights activists will be mad) and even tiny bits of bubble gum, hoping they might choke on the gum... is that horrific? actually saw the mole, peering through the hole I help make to put gum down there...it appears the mole likes the gum and has come right out in the open with more mounds showing up each day...
so I have a lot of things to write about, but instead want to sidetrack myself with this silly rigged game of backgammon when I know I have to figure out the IRS dilemma, get a new social security card (lost so many) way over on the other side of the town...


this heat is the hottest week and it will be so hot...and my son is so used to his grandparents keep their home very cool and have wifi... difficult to compete...... she still wants our family to go to Oz...keep thinking BA will get ideas when the neighbor calls him up about my plans...


I  know it sounds paranoia... but did we ever think someone worse than Bush would take over the country and behave like a Don!!?? don't get me started!  He is DON!





Sunday, July 09, 2017

I think I won't be able to talk to my best friend across the street if I say the wrong thing... This is my fictional diary, so please don't put too much into how I might offend thee..   we are all living creatures and there's a reason  y we are living... Our desire is to get along, but sometimes.... We just want to be ourselves so we feel much safer..        and then we come out of our caves , wave to our friends... take my dog for a quick run.

 Head to library , blogging or stupidly getting hooked to a very rigged  backgammon ... As if you are gambling.. tomorrow I will make a list, get my irs refund and figure out my insurance for new job..
. Don't get down, G! Morosely morbid over the finity  our existence on earth... OK sometime we can go to church together... But please don't take what I write personally , develop ur sense of humor.

 U know life is short!
 I really appreciate my good friend helped me out so I could pay overdue water bill and filled my gas tank... Poorest and loneliest this summer.. I guess he's not allowed to talk to me today.. those women controlling my son wouldn't let me talk to my son either.. women love to hurt men by not talking to them or controlling who talks to whom.i f it weren't for my lawyer, the evil grandma would have control of my son and keep me away the way she kept her other grandson from his now deceased father..        my brother s wife has cut me off from his family ever since Ale plne and Mom passed a way,        never inviting me to his home or theAdirondack s. I've seen his children less than the fingers of my hand and now they have graduated from ivy league college s... Solitude with this unbearable Okie heat comes even more solitude..now I feel intimidated to write anything ..I hate the way the system is fixed for so the mother gets the children.... Y do women put themselves on a superior pedal... They are just as evil as men,.                     Sorry, I usually feel better in the morning.         And maybe we can have a good chat tomorrow ...
id give yesterday a 8.5 out of 10, mostly knowing I had help from good friends,
as I head towards another span perhaps of my life... just steady work to make me feel so much better about myself, feel I can provide as a father... (which lets me digress in thought to how she is deciding to keep my son another year, but expect me to do all the paperwork and cost to take her and Colin to OZ..
I was actually willing to do that thinking for some heavenly reason she wants to be nice and make our family work, warts and all...


Its very hot again this Sunday, parking myself at the large environmentally friendly huge library in northwest okc...there are so many great environmental attributes....being buried around on the lower half, water, all things take the minimum amount of energy,,,, at so cool....if we just took the extra effort to help the environment, avoid war, and we would have a lovely unattainable shangra la....
Maybe in a few hundred years, we will all work together more, the evolution of our human race?
Well I'm just realizing this that I can say things turned into text . Just edit this later. Put in the periods later. Watching the movie with Goldie Hawn's daughter ,Kate Hudson, the movie was made back in 2005      .                 today was actually one of my better days coming out of my cave to go down to the Paseo area to the gentrification of Oklahoma city. My good friend Bought me a cool beer Tecate we both like the same kind of Mexican beer Just enjoying the party.. telling my life story for the 50th time and this is the happiest I've seen him.. is charisma was coming out a side to him that I admire..                   I want to get him involved in this ground floor that I'm producing
 I've got to figure this thing out ... and so few hours before the morning... perhaps it's only the ramblings of a sad old man in his sad lonely bachelor's pad!😒 Stay tuned... Readers please write a word of encouragement!

Saturday, July 08, 2017

a long awaited  refreshing rain which cleaned the cities air last weekend... .. with about a 50 mile an hour wind, it wasn't long before the stagnant Okie zone becomes putrified accelerated by the behemoth redneck trucks with tinted windows , so the angry driver can be invisible inside... all u can see often is a hand... with gas so cheap, folks are buying bigger and bigger jacked up redneckmobiles...
the redneck mobile represents so often the close minded thinking of rednecks who will always vote republican, even though they are biting their own hands...

consider if we all drove electric, there wouldn't be ozone alerts with pollution all over this huge city spread out over the plains... the wind usually comes whipping down the plains all the time except in the hottest most stagnant months of the year...

as punishment for my sins, I feel I'm stuck in the Okie Zone, with little $ to do anything but go to the library...
I thank my friends for helping  me out..I don't know how I would survive emotionally after PTSD without my good friend who always listens to my pain and frustration that I probably wont be involved in his growth another year, with his possessive  controlling grandmother being his surrogate parent...
 and I have to find a way quick to earn enough to last until the end of August.. I was hoping id figure out the dilemma of getting tax refunds...but with the republicans cutting out everything, you cannot visit the IRS anymore to get income statements or anything else  You have to set appointment with them weeks in advance..

I often feel so overwhelmed with everything, but somehow hope that things will happen for the best...
I hope that I will have enough to do some fun things with my son for 2 weeks...

Monday morning I will have to take a trip or call to make an appointment with IRS so I can get  several refunds!

the creative moment is lost now, overwhelmed with frustration, but I need to be happy that I finally will have full time job!


and on another good note, soon it will the end of Trump and his world...

http://vote.us.org/memo/thread/18394/breaking-mueller-is-all-set-to-destroy-trump/

Friday, July 07, 2017

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

Winston Churchill

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.


I was so frustrated this morning, first finding out that Colin won't be living with me next semester and going to a much better school, and then never being able to get a hold of a human being at the IRS,,, when you call numbers of companies it is becoming so challenging to talk to a human!  so I cant get the necessary forms to be able to get my refund...

but my wonderful neighbors and my childhood friend, Robin are helping me out... and I will pay them back immediately when I get my first paycheck at the end of next month!  Thank you so much!

I knew that I was getting my hopes up about being with my son.. it frustrates me that my son will be with his grandparents another year...

Thursday, July 06, 2017

I am trying to make it now with very little cash in my account.. I don't have enough for the water bill, and I will have to ask to borrow money.  I wont get a paycheck until the end of the month and my credit cards are maxed out... Please Lord, help me get by until things get better

Monday, July 03, 2017

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/russian-hooker-who-had-sex-with-donald-trump-mocks-his-tiny-penis/

A 22-year sex worker named Ivana Kamensky, claims she was one of the prostitutes who had sexual intercourse with Donald Trump in Moscow in 2011, adding that the American President had the smallest penis she had ever seen.

In an interview with the Moscow Daily Herald, the young woman described in great details the night that she allegedly spent in Mr Trump’s hotel room five years ago.
Ms Kamensky claims she was hired by Donald Trump along with two of her friends to perform several degrading sex acts, like urinating on him and on each other.
She said that she had been shocked by the incredibly small size of his penis, and remembers laughing about it with the other two girls.

“Many parts of his body are too small, not only his hands,” she told the Moscow Daily Herald. “I’ve slept with hundreds of men and I’ve seen some small penises, but he’s by far the smallest I’ve ever seen.”

She described Mr.Trump’s genitals as being the size of a grape, barely one inch (2.5cm) long when fully erect.

“We were not surprised when he asked for some unusual stuff, because he was not physically equipped to engage in any kind of normal penetration.”


Ms Kamensky says she was paid $10,000 for her night with me Trump, which is more than the average Russian worker earns in a year.


Im trying to put, so it goes to say often small hands, small pp... no wonder he's always been an insecure asshole
 

Sunday, July 02, 2017

Written a while back

wow...October 23 rd....so many in this latter half of my life were born in October...from the 18th to the 30....my angel's son is 15, born close to that date...

hmmmm...all the signs .... and then the thoughts that it wouldnt be our reality...it hasnt sunk in yet...just nice talking via email to my cousin in lawyer, Kenny..


a connection to the whole family at the Parthenon and our family history on Mermaid Beach will continue ...from cardboard shacks for houses 40 years ago to multimillion dollar mansions...


we are leaping to Oz in hopefully less than two months...to be there for the winter solstace.

amazing about Donald trump had his team(?) of creative editors show Don Giovanni Trump doing a take down of CNN....

does a third of this country love asshole bullies... did a majority love hitler??  this bloke lives on winning by being a more successful asshole ...
https://i.imgur.com/BBE6kK7.mp4
 
 
 
Today 22 Russians viewed my blog... im flattered , perhaps they were pissers that made donalds golden juice ... funny how this asshole is such a germaphobe...

purely fictitious , but could easily happen in the future, Donald retires and goes back to wrestling bullies like himself!

Domain www.escapetheokiezone.com Base info :

Domain Ip Address:
74.125.28.121

Domain IP Server Addr
US / Washington / Bellevue
 fictitious

Domain Value:

1,837,302$

How To Calculate Your Domain Name’s Value

The value of a domain name can range anywhere from a few dollars to numbers in the six or even seven figure range. In many ways it is like the real estate market of the web; those who can spot a great opportunity can purchase a domain that will eventually be invaluable to the right buyer.
The challenge is how to calculate the real value of a particular domain name. There are reports all the time about some company paying $200,000 for a domain name that’s highly relevant to their business, but how was that number reached? And what makes it worth that high initial investment when the domain’s renewal costs will be $15/year?
Ultimately, a domain name is worth whatever a buyer is willing to pay for it. Determining this price is an artform unto itself, with a myriad of contributing factors including length, language, trends and demographics. There’s no single method of arriving at the perfect asking price, and it takes a lot of trial and error to get good at it.
Here’s a look at some of the most tried and true techniques for appraising a domain name in your portfolio.
 
wow.... amazing,!!!
,, then I wouldn't worry so much about BA showalter owing me several thousand dollars...
when I get the job,,,, ill have money to get that lawyer to help again... along with many other legal headaches... here and abroad...
 
its kinda frustrating when I know the people who read this most don't like what I write...
 
but if you don't like it,,, sorry... this site is fictional, so stay out of my business...
 
nosiness is perhaps a genetic trait, like some dogs have a much better sense of smell... women have more than twice the olfactory power of their nostrils than men... is that y they are nosier?? (just kidding)
 
but seriously... one nosy bloke whos job it was to bully and sense weakness , so he could rat to the boss and get rid of folks...
 
he thought he met his favorite bully , when the conman took over my house and my street...(I know u will tell me to let it go, but id have most of my essential bills taken care if it weren't for a crook.. so ill try not to get mad, just even)
 
well this bloke was bobbing and weaving yesterday to look through his purple flowery bushes (lilacs?) that defltly dramed in camolaughe over his short wire fence for excellent spying....
 
he was bobbing up and down like an old Muhammed Ali, weaving and ducking, floating like a mosquito, waiting for a bite of some news ...
to tell his conman friend in hiding....
 
Im sure that u will not like what I write, but we are in a free country, and remember this is a fictitious site where the names will be changed to protect the guilty  (just kidding)
 
Im wondering when their favorite bully, will be impeached or get angry about Trump being on the receiving end of goldenshowers over his orange weave!



 
what do you expect of a bloke at least 100 lbs overweight!
 
 
afterwards he has a heart attack from too much excitement....
 
 


Trump will go down in History as the most asshole wannabee tyrant of the free world!

Saturday, July 01, 2017

another apology

part of my heart is very sorry that either of you were not in my life for a much longer period...
but then I would never have my son who is incredible, and the powers that be wont let me see him on a regular basis, but the Lord works in mysterious ways (coming from a hopeful agnostic)...


I've had a few incredible loves, and I don't regret these beautiful women come into my life, and sadly leave.... sometimes I wish that I could talk to them...ones in heaven, one or 2 won't talk to me, and the other has a beautiful family in France  (I sometimes think how wonderful it would have been to be the father of her children in her wonderfully hospitable family... even when I barely understood any French! we had wonderful conversations, all night on a deserted green country peninsula, the van of French backpackers, and then us swimming in our birthday suits about 4 decades ago)...

the wonderful conversation spiced up with a little herb (funny how im more afraid to talk about it than gays are afraid to come out of the Oklahomo closet...)

to be continued...

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Im sorry

I'm sorry that I describe my feelings when im hurt and that some read too much into what others write...

I have made many mistakes in my life.. I love my son and have very little control over him since he's in another state... I'm sorry that I didn't have the courage to face the judge when we came back from New Zealand and prove to the judge that a father deserves joint custody (regardless of the courts favoring the woman most of the time)... part of me wishes that we stayed far away from those controlling women...

I'm sorry that there is censorship... I'm sorry that I censor my own feelings for fear of losing friendships, but when I get yelled at, rather than have confrontation, I would rather write about it..
and wish that they never knew about my blog

I'm sorry that I made the mistake of telling some folks a long while ago that I have this blog which was to remain an anonymous diary of my feelings.. I'm sorry that I have a nosy neighbor who loves to spy on all the neighbors from his camper, and come to court to tell the judge about my behavior so he can help a bully con man stay in my place for free, but happy the judge told him to shut up in the middle of bully rodent's rant!

I'm sorry that many people do not like me , for just being myself...I'm sorry that you don't respect me and want to yell at me and make me feel like an idiot.

I love my friend and his company. I'm sorry that you don't want me to see him.

on a good note, I filled out all the paperwork for my new teaching job... but  fear prevents me and censors me  from writing anymore
 

Sunday, June 25, 2017

I think when im herbally creative ..... I know others read this and pass judgment just as they would pass judgment on a homosexual in or out of the closet...

I was allowed and hour and half with my best friend of 83rd street with a complimentary gift from my friend....

enjoying our great conversation , but the leash remains tight, and I hear "just my imagination" ,
and wonder what causes people to control their loved ones lives...
I think of my xwife and mother in law who control my son.  When he is with me , he loves his freedom ...



had a semi good day, with my verbal diareah of the mouth to listening ears, a life story heard for the 50th time and then on to paseo , bingeing on conversating after being lonely without my son,,, the old man escapes from his cave of comfort

Friday, June 23, 2017

They wouldn't meet me halfway, or actually more mileage for me to give my son back to the xin laws... but my son's grandpa bought us dinner which was the nicest dinner I've had with my x father in law...

They both saw me crying, couldn't hold back the tears when I had to say bye to my son...
the grandpa said it sucked that I couldn't see him more often...
I realized the old man had some empathy...


Ill be starting a new job in high school work with the special needs students and emotionally disturbed kids...
The school saw that I did a very good job and were impressed when I subbed at all the schools in the district.

For the introduction they are wanting to know more about me , so I said  that I love surf swim races and was a volunteer life guard.. I love a great game of chess and feel I can make an impact at the school like I did in the New Mexico Indian reservation for 3 years!

coincidentally this daily Om showed up today:

A Great Teacher

by Madisyn Taylor
Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination, and humility.
The journey of water as it flows upon the earth can be a mirror of our own paths through life. Water begins its residence on earth as it falls from the sky or melts from ice and streams down a mountain into a tributary or stream. In the same way, we come into the world and begin our lives on earth. Like a river that flows within the confines of its banks, we are born with certain defining characteristics that govern our identity. We are born in a specific time and place, within a specific family, and with certain gifts and challenges. Within these parameters, we move through life, encountering many twists, turns, and obstacles along the way just as a river flows.

Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination, and humility. When a river breaks at a waterfall, it gains energy and moves on, as we encounter our own waterfalls, we may fall hard but we always keep moving on. Water can inspire us to not become rigid with fear or cling to what's familiar. Water is brave and does not waste time clinging to its past, but flows onward without looking back. At the same time, when there is a hole to be filled, water does not run away from it in fear of the dark; instead, water humbly and bravely fills the empty space. In the same way, we can face the dark moments of our life rather than run away from them.

Eventually, a river will empty into the sea. Water does not hold back from joining with a larger body, nor does it fear a loss of identity or control. It gracefully and humbly tumbles into the vastness by contributing its energy and merging without resistance. Each time we move beyond our individual egos to become part of something bigger, we can try our best to follow the lead of the river

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

time flies :(

very sad , last full day with my son, so Ill make sure to take him our favorite Chinese Buffet... summer solstice ... and need to write a note to my more confident self after ive taken in all the necessary paperwork for my new job... excited but the paranoia takes over sometimes, when I worry I'll lose it before I get it...

summer solstice is today, and I feel the energy... my son won our monopoly game I could get for $2.00 at the thrift store,

it was great seeing him win and my own talents at money genetically inherent in my son...  enjoying as many moments as I can... Maybe when I get a little money for finally renting, I can be more confident that I'll make it before the first paycheck... just have to do one day at a time...

I love my son so much and I'm happy I'll be able to have another two weeks before I start working!

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

The word Siddhartha is made up of two words in Sanskrit language, siddha (achieved) + artha (what was searched for), which together means "he who has found meaning (of existence)" or "he who has attained his goals".[


It was just on Pbs , before we went to the library, and I had a power nap earlier while watching , Jeff Sessions (attorney general), refuse to talk about his conversations for his corrupt, crooked, bully , boss, President Trump.   I was motivated to briefly see if Siddartha was an inspiration for me and me life, while I enjoy my brief 4 weeks with my beautiful son. Maybe the Powers that be are telling me to enjoy every beautiful moment with my son while on this search for discovery...


Now I'm at the library, getting out of our hot house, while the AC barely works and the days get hotter and more humid.. our respite has been the cool library... I have little money and debating about putting a window unit with what little credit limit I have on my credit card... overwhelmed with bills , but choosing to enjoy as many moments with my son...
He can earn as much as $5 per day. He has been saving each time to use it his playstation games.. he is obsessed with videos and I'm excited that he has my creative spirit making his own blog!

Friday, June 09, 2017

Just chatted with the sped director at the school, where I'm supposed to get the job and she said that

it's ridiculous that I haven't heard from them yet so I am anticipating the call very soon...
and then (knock on wood) we can celebrate...

hanging out here at the big huge library that is designed environmentally... had a great chat last night from Robin, who's a video producer and is doing a rpgram fro the Tony's  which will be Saturday night... hopefully soon everything will be falling into place...

its fun to reminisce about old times growing up in our neighborhood on Highland Parkway and walking to Ellwanger Barry school... dealing with all the bullies, Danny and Skippy Schey, Art Crapsey, Donald Trump (just kidding , he learnt how to be a bully in military academy and then got out of the draft because of flat feet with help from Dad, just as George B had help from his dad to avoid Vietnam)...

I would love to write a chapter about us growing up and the experiences which helped make us who we are!   I'm a little more pumped now after hearing possibly good news, but don't want to get my hopes up too much... so I am motivated by my eagerness and elation of the possibility of being in the ranks of the employed with good health care! (especially repukes destroying Obama Care and taking away Medicaid!)

Just heard back from the director and its just paperwork we are waiting on! I will help with the emotionally disturbed and students with learning disabilities... she said its so hard to find special ed teachers, which makes my job guarantee even better! 

Thursday, June 08, 2017

another gorgeous day with my son... happy  to be with him and just relax... not worry about anything for a week... even though I am worried when they will call me to sign in to the position...

happy that the nosy neighbors next door have gone for their summer trek....
the summer is starting to get warm... we are staying cool in the library!

fixed a pasta dinner , with special sauce (from aldis) on angel hair...with generous portions of parmesan cheese and a little olive oil to keep the fine strands from sticking...
Buffy licked the bowls!   and popsicles for desert frozen in my energy efficient hobbit frigerator with maybe 2 square feet of space...

the summer has been cool enough to enjoy the mornings with all the windows open, and go to library when it gets much above 80... we come home to a cool house, relative to ambient temp... enjoy a home cooked dinner ( he prefers my cooking to his controlling nana with the icy stare)...  the darker storm clouds in the east contrasted with the warm summer evening...
taking Buffy along with us.. and I felt so connected to my little family.. far off from the in laws who will take my son away again for a year... its already midway through my 4 weeks of summer with my son... I love him so much...



Wednesday, June 07, 2017

Worry

by Madisyn Taylor
Worry is an extension of fear and can also set you up for attracting that which you don't want in your life.
We have all had the experience of worrying about something at some point in our lives. Some of us have a habitual tendency to worry, and all of us have known someone who is a chronic worrier. Worry is an extension of fear and can be a very draining experience. In order for worry to exist, we have to imagine that something bad might happen. What we are worrying about has not happened yet, however, so this bad thing is by definition a fantasy. Understood this way, worry is a self-created state of needless fear. Still, most of us worry.

One reason we worry is because we feel like we're not in control. For example, you might worry about your loved ones driving home in bad weather. There is nothing you can do to guarantee their safe passage, but you worry until you find out they have reached their destination unharmed. In this instance, worry is an attempt to feel useful and in control. However, worrying does nothing to ensure a positive outcome and it has an unpleasant effect on your body, mind, and spirit. The good news is that there are ways to transform this kind of worry so that it has a healing effect. Just as worry uses the imagination, so does the antidote to worry. Next time you find that you are worrying, imagine the best result instead of anticipating the worst outcome. Visualize your loved ones' path bathed in white light and clearly see in your mind's eye their safe arrival. Imagine angels or guides watching over them as they make their way home. Generate peace and well-being instead of nervousness and unease within yourself.

Another reason we worry is that something that we know is pending but are avoiding is nagging us--an unpaid parking ticket, an upcoming test, an issue with a friend. In these cases, acknowledging that we are worried and taking action is the best solution. If you can confront the situation and own your power to change it, you'll have no reason to worry.


everything is going on that is crooked with our leader, so its easy to worry about our future... but this evil force that has taken over our office has brought many of us together in mutual desire to get rid of this despot... 

I worry about getting a full time teaching job, so I can have the confidence to take care of bills
Detached Peace

Sagittarius Horoscope

June 7, 2017
You could have a feeling of peace with yourself and this may mean that today you could approach things with a sense of calm and serenity. It might be that you understand that there is little in life that truly is of immediate concern and that by simply being present to the things that happen to you is enough. This might be a good chance to observe yourself and your life from the vantage point of an outside observer. If you can practice this form of detachment, you may notice that when things do occur, you are much more able to separate yourself and merely watch without getting too emotionally involved. While you may not wish to do this constantly, if you can look upon your life from a different perspective today, you may find it easier to let things go and maintain greater sense of overall wellbeing.
I have been trying to follow this principle for so long, but its still very hard to not take things personally, when a neighbor yells at you if you ask to borrow a cup of milk... I was taking it personally, when I should realize she was probably having a bad day and worried about her husbands health... it hurt when she referenced if the milk was for my son and just too lazy to get it myself , ... and I had just visited the store and forgot the milk :(   .... then being ignored when I say Hi... I try to say how my confident self (when I get the teaching job) would cheer me up ... to say don't let it bother you!

 Being able to once in a while detach from our emotions and situations can give us a much more mindful awareness of ourselves, our actions, and of the present moment. At the moments when everything seems right with the world it is easy to forget that this inner serenity is fleeting – one minute we may be calm and the next we might notice something that upsets us. But by learning to detach from the constant change that pervades everyday life today, you will be able to remain in the present, see that the things that happen to you will come to pass, and will experience true peace of mind.

Tuesday, June 06, 2017

lazy days of summer , hoping and waiting for that call... worried that something will prevent me from getting the teaching job... this job will give me such a boost of confidence... the school district needs so many special ed teachers...
  I know the school wants me as the assistant principal said that other teachers were very impressed when I was teaching...
It is wonderful to wake up and see my son... I am trying to be with him as much as I can, as it will be a long drought when I don't see him...  the summer had the warmest day after a nice cool spell before it gets really hot...


I will get the courage to face the obstacles... I feel my old childhood friend, who is only a couple months older , but looks much younger , has really inspired me... inviting me to his wedding has done so  much...


I am inspired to write a lot more...I need to write about the Mermaids and put the story together...

Monday, June 05, 2017

Still hoping that the school hires me... They said they liked me and just  have to wait for the background check, but I already did that . The district needs teachers really badly considering that Oklahoma might become the poorest paid teachers in the US.

I sure would like to write my book and find the way to success... so many things that I have to do...

Im loving spending time each day with my son... I went to the Aldis to get food on my card.. subbing does not pay the bills... but then I forgot the milk... so I wanted to be back in time for the "view"... and then thought need just a little milk for Colin's cereal and for my freshly ground coffee.. thought Id bring my coffee with me, expecting my good friend to answer...
instead his angry wife is waiting for me in the driveway...said this is the last time I can ask for milk... and started yelling at me at if this milk was for my son?  ... I wasn't emotionally awake enough to deal with a tsunami of anger when I have so many overwhelming issues, when I'm in a fragile state of happiness (??) , so I set the milk down and walked back across the street...

I called my friend and he told me to answer the door and she was waiting with the cup of milk.. I thanked her and avoided eye contact....

I finished chatting and my friend encouraged to come over with my milk infused warming coffee while I laughed mixed with crying watching my son beat up and kill others on this hilariously violent video/game... parts hitting... I know what few readers out there might pass judgement that I'm allowing him to watch it... but I'm just so happy that Im with my son for half the summer!

Its so easy to be overwhelmed with tasks in the future and getting old...

after recovering from the drama.. I walk back and enjoy coffee with my friend who now has to have an extra liter of oxygen per day.. he was hooked up to it... I worry about him ,,,



Friday, June 02, 2017

first week of summer with my son

Im much happier when Im with my son... even when I have to figure the best way to control his temper tantrums..

living happily as a poor man with the sub teaching money... which wont last me till (hopefully) , I get the job... they asked for my birthday.. and the secretary knows how well I work there...whom I dropped off my only rose from my newly trimmed tiny bush and flower from mom's magnolia tree present... its giving off the most beautiful flowers all over the tree.. giving a beautiful sub tropical scent... reminding me of living by the sea..

we attempted to play  a new (used) game from the thrift store for only $2 (bought connect 4 for 2 bucks too!),,,, my son gets impatient and doesn't want to hear the directions... he doesn't like his throw to see who goes first...he gets angry so I let him go first.. then doesn't the understand the way the game works when I try to explain it...then I roll a good roll, and because both of us didn't fully understand how pac man eats the ghost, and trying to get him to understand, he walks out in a tantrum... he walks to the end of the block.. my old legs don't attempt to chase him... I see him walk out of view , so I look for my flip flops so I can go after him in the bike.. he sneaks by when im getting on the bike... he is way more sneaky than his dad...

when I come back I tell him he will probably lose computer privileges and has another tantrum/..
we end up watching a shitty movie(XMAS OFFICE PARTY")with snl actors, who didn't even make me laugh...I fall asleep watching.... but happy Ive been with my son and can see him all day to make up for the months ive missed him since the x took him away again... I should be happy we had a year together... I will do my best to enjoy every moment with him!

Thursday, June 01, 2017

May 1, 2013Inquisitive Explorations
Sagittarius Daily Horoscope

You may be probing others today for the truth that lies behind their opinions. This may be because of your quest for a deeper understanding of what makes people tick. Since it is interesting and fun to question and investigate what interests you further, you might find that this a perfect opportunity to not only get at the truth in your interactions but also use this as a chance to arrive at your own greater truth. You can, for example, think about what is fascinating about other people, using this as a catalyst for reflection to try to think about what may intrigue others about you. Being open to a more profound questioning of yourself today could make you seem much more open to others, which could make them more willing to divulge their ideas and feelings more candidly.

Our desire to comprehend the inner workings of other people often stems from our own need to understand ourselves. It can be easy to scrutinize someone else, asking them to reveal what is going on inside of them. While this might be interesting for us, it is only truly an exercise in exploration if we use it as a chance to also look within ourselves. When we do this, we create a bond of trust that will foster a more authentic form of communication with others. Looking within yourself first will make it easier for you to use your curiosity as a chance for greater growth and understanding today.


from daily OM
another gorgeous day of summer enjoying a lazy summer morning with my son, hanging out with my son now when it gets hot in the afternoon! we need to come in here more often so that I can write creatively to you more often...

think often of our wonderful avatar like stay with a hippy family, falling in love with Cecelia, and the wonderful feeling of being in love... and a Spartan invigorating existence on this little school bus with a very beautiful strong woman originally from England choosing a hippy commune life in the Coramandel Peninsula.. .. we could so easily have stayed there, but I knew I had to the right thing, knowing the consequences would be at worse divorce and my sons childhood growing moments taken from me...
now he sits beside me 4 years older... to be continued

Saturday, May 27, 2017

second full day with my son... this is my own personal diary, but I still don't feel don't feel totally comfortable sharing my inner most thoughts when there are judge mental folks who read it and will misunderstand me just as everyone including the checkout counter who kep asking me if the assortment of apples were mine.. I kept saying yes but appeared she was more into listening herself than waiting for my answer , beside putting the food into plastic when they have paper bags... ( I worry about the environment in a state where our environmental protection agency director came from...who's more like environmental terminator agency...)   I think of all the plastic bags and platic water bottles all littered up floating on thousands of square miles of our oceeans...

we are basically thoughtless creatures as much as any other animals... my son's grandmother had a discussion with my son about how we couldn't have evolved from gorillas(apes) because they don't have souls...
that reminds me so much of my most memorable twilight zone episode about an old hillbilly with his old bloodhound and he's by a creek where he falls asleep... he wakes up with his dog thinking he's still alive and walks along the road tiill he comes up to a friendly man with his clipboard and says ,
"we were waiting for you!"
so he proceeds to walk through the gate when the gatekeeper says  ,
"Im sorry dogs aren't allowed in here."
so the old man says,
Well. Ill just keep walking with my best friend.
He walks a mile or so and then sees another man greeting him at a gate.
The old man says ,
"I aint goin in there if you don't let my old dog in too!"
The greeter said,
"We've been waiting for you both. That other gate keeper was Lucifer!"

Friday, May 26, 2017

http://www.livestrong.com/article/546304-the-benefits-of-dandelion-leaf-root-for-the-kidneys/

"All parts of the dandelion are edible, including the leaves, roots and flowers, and some parts are considered medicinal. Certain of dandelion's purported health benefits pertain especially to the kidneys and urinary tract. Consult your doctor for guidance in the safe and appropriate use of dandelion.

Diuretic

Dandelion leaves have a slightly bitter flavor that goes well in salads and they are increasingly available in produce and grocery stores. (and therefore is a natural food like any other) Vitamins A, B-complex, C and D are found in the leaves. Dandelion also provides the minerals iron, potassium and zinc. Dandelion has diuretic effects -- it promotes increased urine production -- and also replaces potassium that may be lost in the urine. Native Americans used dandelion extract to treat a variety of conditions, including kidney disease, skin disorders and digestive problems, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center.

Antiviral

Dandelion roots have antiviral effects and, combined with the herb uvaursi, which has antibacterial properties, may also help decrease frequency of urinary tract infections in women. A study published in the June 2011 issue of the "Journal of Ethnopharmacology" found that Vietnamese dandelion decreased urinary tract infection by increasing urine production and flow, and also by preventing bacteria from attaching to cells that line the bladder wall. Preventing bladder infections also prevents kidney infections, which usually occur when bacteria ascend from the bladder. Researchers concluded that dandelion may be a useful, safe alternative to conventional antibiotics, many of which are becoming ineffective due to emerging strains of antibiotic-resistant bacteria."


I just got an email from the wife of my very good friend, whom I do worry about and I know she worries about him. I 'm sorry if this offends you when you eventually read it, but pharmaceutical companies and doctors are most often against herbal and natural remedies to help your own body cleanse itself.  I'm happy that you sent me an email rather than confront me about it because I'm having a wonderful time with my beautiful son now.

I know dandelions are totally natural, as all plants that can help your body heal and give ways for it to cleanse itself.

Avoiding eating out and avoiding the carbs and especially the sugars will help so much!
It does not hurt to visit a naturopath who is a natural doctor.

I love seeing and talking to your husband, and I have a feeling that you will get upset with me writing this . If so. You are welcome to write me another email but please don't yell at me about it if I come over to sit with your husband.
Ps, I love your shirts and clothes that you give me, as my funds for subbing are very low and every little bit hurts. Because of you, I dress well when I go to work (I think!)

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

I have to figure out godaddy while I wait to understand what I have to do to continue the writing process.. I want to let go of so much, but my determination to rightfully be a father keeps me going...
Im frustrated that my exinlaws are currently the surrogate parents of my son...

I thought this pertains to my life so much whenever I see this...


"Taking Things Personally"

by Madisyn Taylor
Try not to take everything personally, things that people say and do don't always have anything to do with you.
        Every time you interact with others, you have the choice to listen to, acknowledge, and let go of their words, or you can take what they are saying personally. Taking things personally is often the result of perceiving a person's actions or words as an affront or slight. In order to take something personally, you must read negative intent in an individual's words or actions. But what people do and say has no bearing upon you and is usually based on their own experiences, emotions, and perceptions. If you attempt to take what they do or say personally, you may end up feeling hurt without reason. "
 
its difficult to not take things personally when others interfere in my life, when its no business of theirs... I want to jump up and down about the potential for getting a teaching job, but just know there are others that take pleasure in other's displeasure...
these folks are bullies that go out of their way to cause you harm...
 
I've experience the way the xinlaws were determined to bring up my son, and currently have won this battle...
I  was trying to convince my wife that I will not accept them bringing up my son next year.. she says to move to Arkansas, but the controlling matriarch of the family will still have control of my son, his religion, and where he goes to school.. (where she taught) 
 
I don't want to get excited about my new job until I've signed the bottom line...
the paranoia , is very often a heightened sense of reality, when certain neighbors will go out of their way to make my life miserable, or a special ed director who didn't like me and would undermine my authority in my long term subbing job... I found out recently that she was talking poorly of anyone in ear shot when another assistant said that, I "wasn't a good fit with students"... that's all a person with a little authority can prevent someone from getting a job at a school..
fortunately ive had good references from all the teachers I've subbed for...

Saturday, April 29, 2017

april 29th

spring is in the air... hoping to get a job, don't want to say it too loudly , for all the nasties out there who take pleasure in others' struggles...

hoping I can have custody back of my son from crazy alcoholic wife...
neighbors witnessed her getting drunk in her new car when she was careening to a certain DUI arrest... there was no stopping her...

finally she stops at convenience for a burrito...and her alcohol level was 1.3! ...

meanwhile get a stare that said everything from the nosy neighbor whose trailer always takes up his driveway... if I could read minds, and knowing his bullying instinct that was part of his job description, ..
\"hmmm he's back... what do I know about him so I can get him in trouble or cause him issues",
 (like when he showed up in court for BS Shitwaller, and the judge told him to sit down and shut up.)..

im sure if I have renters or squatters (like BA and others who burnt down the house before they finally left without paying rent for years, he will side with them, and talk shit as bullies love other bullies...
Im sure the nosy dick voted for Trump...

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

little Robin sanders lived by the street
and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called ASC
little Johnny Turbayne loved that wascal wobin
and played with him till dinner time in that magic land

together they would travel down rapids in a bitty boat
while robin would watch out for stones and things
avoiding their certain death

all the neighborhood girls would want to play
with robins golden hair
bullies and art crapsey
would bow whener they came
corporations would lower their flags when robin yelled out his name

little Johnny turbine lived by the sea
and frolicked in the autumn mist
in a land called Mermaid Beach
little robin sanders lived by the street
and then frolicked in the corporate mist
in a land call NYCeee

puff the magic dragon lived by sea
and frolicked in the autumn mist
in a land called mermaid beach

a dragon lives forever
not so little boys
diamonds and commodities make way for other toys

so

one grey night it happened
robbie sanders came out no more
and little Johnny turbayne
ceased his fearless roar
his head was bent in sorrow
his hair fell out in rain
he no longer wanted play
along Highland lane

without his life long friend
Johnny could not be brave
and mighty Johnny turbayne
slipped into his cave

one day 38 years later
out came a  bigger Robin
with the the strength of the terminator
he said,
hey  Turbayne y don't u  get a life
and while your out come and meet my wife!

old Johnny turbayne was so happy now

they soon frolicked in the ocean mist
in a land called Mermaid Beach!

owoow.... only took an hour of prograsstinating... only intimidated with what I write for fear the only folks to read this are my neighbors and spies who tell conman and crook extraordinaire that attempted to steal my home after it burned down mysteriously, claiming a dead squirrel did it ,
 while I paid half of what the house was worth ,,, and then he was staying for free while I paid him to build a barn and eaves for my home... he  cons me into letting him stay for free and have to go to court to kick him out... and a judgement...

part of me is very sorry that I told them about this blog, for judgement and nosiness , that has always been the bane of Turbayne...
and then get emails that I should let this conman go with crime as Im sure our country will let the biggest crook stay out of jail... and who was done innumerable crimes plus rape... dishonesty and corruption are the way these conmen have succeeded...

Donald Trump- crook, liar , thief, conman , rapist, molester, female harasser (way worse that Oreilly but with way more $ to pay off the women and 13 year old victims of his unwanted private parts!)

B. S. Shitwaller. - conman, lousy builder, thief, drone that lived for free for a year and half without paying rent, bragging about granite tiles when they are faux granite , like faux BA, poor hand craftsman bragging about marble bathroom that he contracted others to do the work for him , often while he sat on his ass under an umbrella with ice tea in his hand, barking out orders to the neighbors children do the shoveling of dirt on my front yard that I never asked for...
drives by occasionally in his tinted huge redneckmobile, so he can peer at the home that he thought was going to be his...

he was served papers but I have to still get the lawyer because that 5k would sure pay off my taxes I owe, and the neighbors all see due like vultures waiting for the animal to die, to immediately go to the auction and get something for nothing...

I'm told to let it go... would it be ok for the victims of the nazis let it go, and let all those murderers of the concentration camps hide out into old age in jungles of South America...

Ok... enough of that... I worry about my place when Im out of town... I thought I gave my best friend a key , but then I fear emails or lectures , especially about my writing , where I'm often intimidated about letting out all my feelings when I'm no longer anonymous...

enough of the negatives... I'm going to have a fantastic day taking in the first wedding in a long while... the last time I saw his wedding was 38 years ago...

I had a 24 hour journey with the stops, a brand new tire, a car cell phone charger, and sleeping in my car at the casino at the bottom of the valley between 2 large hills just outside of Albuquerque,

I was inspired to embellish more while on the long journey, I fear about saying more, (intimidated by some of my judgmental readers), but I become creative when I think for a long time, and the actual trip becomes a reawakening, a rebirth, a renaissance , while I clear my head out, and good things happen, I had an offer for an interview for Sped teacher! for when I come back.....,,, so patience,,,,

while in my inspirational moments I stopped and chatted with a pretty lady, happily  married, sweeping the sidewalk in Arizona... I told her of my blog and the old man's hard luck while in his quest for his magic mermaid... she had the cutest dimples and knew her man was very fortunate...
Brigitte... (alla Bardot),,,, while she petted my Buffy...  .... and the old man has visions of a Benjamin Button fantasy of getting younger when her ages meets his physical age....  aah... my mind is willing but my knees crack...
there are some very pretty ladies at this wedding , where the charm of Sean Connery might inhabit my persona..... ppp pass

u have an excuse to kill time with writing (??) and your biggest fear at the moment is your neighbor reading this will send you an angry email... buts that what will happen when u become famous, G!

ok, K, if you are reading this, as far as constructive criticism with a positive refrain, will hopefully encourage me to read your reactions... I thank you and C for taking care of my beautiful Murch, where the angry forces that are out there, seek to hurt me where it counts... if they burn down the home again, Ill know not to get a BS Showoff guaranteed by one of your other good friends, who let you down, but then has always come through in other ways.. he knew along with neighbors knew where the crook has been hiding..
Im bummed because I visualized putting the key in my best friends hand, it was colored, and I could hear you getting angry in the background , and so I worry that you will be angry when I ask for help, but I get sidetracked and my intimidation from asking a favor might have subconsciously forgotten to give him the key :).   sad how I waste so much time about keys... I don't understand  y there isn't a remote for keys like everything else??   it should be a common thing like universal tv remotes...


and I thank him for helping me so much in times of need and my Buffy, bless her heart, who sits defiantly on your porch , after putting a huge hole in the gate, smiling that she has her freedom again...
and she barks "FREEDOM"
in a Scottish canine accented bark perhaps? ;)

but its a free press, so as long as crooks and bullies rise to the top, I believe its our right in our endangered democracy to voice unfairness and theft...
sorry, K.

ok..its almost noon, and Im excited about writing and singing the song to the tune of that 60s folks song that I used to sing while racing and flying as 9 year old to old Broadbeach state school...
before it was economical to be an old beach bum on Mermaid Beach!

Little Robin Sanders lived by the street
and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Rochester
and waited for the day wed meet
little Johnny Turbayne frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Mermaid Beach