Saturday, December 31, 2016

I am treasuring each moment that Im with my son. We are sitting next to each other at the library. I am still so frustrated with another similar cycle of bad luck except it is worse, with knowing I will not see my son for 2 or 3 months because its such a far way and my old infinity will have a hard time driving 300 miles.

They are stubborn (x and her mother) and will not drive half way or even a third of the way.
My car is old so I will say you can come to my home or meet me half way.  Take it or leave it...

It is so stressful that she called my neighbor when she thought that my phone was disconnected . The neighbor had to ruin a beautiful morning , just being the messenger, and I was not in the mood for my few days to be ruined...
   better times...
 
 
It is easier for me to be angry at granny for continually planning on taking my son the way she took her other son to bring up herself in her little town where she rules as the family matriarch...
 
my son is so deep in this web that the spider has spun

Friday, December 30, 2016

so much has happened,

I know that my neighbors will be the first to read this, probably that silly fear has intimidated me from fear of writing, especially when some folks just enjoy adding to one's misery when there is a chance... knowing that one bloke is probably still in touch with the conman builder who swindled me out of half my savings for a burned garage...:

Dear mother of my child,
I am happy that you tried to live with me for a year and our tempers would often get the best of both us. This perhaps caused us to raise our voices in front of Colin.
You and Colin would qualify for low income housing in Okc and they are nice apartments close to Northridge.
I would be much more obliged and happy to send you money to get started . What little I will me making averaging less than 700 per month. It will be more when I do the infrequent long term sub jobs.
 
 This way, we can keep up his soccer and it will take months to finally get the stride in his learning that he was developing with Ms.  whom he loved so much. It is often hard to find that special rapport between a student and a teacher
 
I don't know if you ever read these emails, but you realized when you moved in with me for a year that it is good for Colin to have his father involved with him on a daily basis. I was taking Colin to soccer and Judo. I want to continue being involved with his learning.
I hope that you will change your mind. You and your mother will again become very tired of each other and perhaps fighting with her over control attention of Colin.
 
It has been more and more challenging to bond with my son, because he in reinforced into believing "Daddy is a loser", every time he has extended visits with grandparents and cousins.
He actually told me today when I asked him if he respected his grandmother more, he said that "she is not a loser like you are" , in his own words.
It is very hard and painful for me, when my son calls me a loser frequently. I am having a wonderful 5 days with my son and know he loves me, but does not respect me so I am determined to earn his respect.
Your family frequently taking my son for their own enjoyment and  sunshine in their mundane lives has tremendously hurt the wonderful bond that I used to have with my younger son.
I had an awful image of Colin ending up graduating from Clinton and getting into frequent trouble as your older son would. You told me that John also has anger issues.
You must know, Angela, that the continual tug of war from one home to another and to different teachers will only exacerbate our son's anger issues.
 
You came to me a year ago with what I felt was a little love and caring that I thought was rekindled into a little romance . Things were going very well with you getting a job for 2 months, but then after you losing your car sales job, and you were left with the huge payments.
Drinking and driving led to that car being taken away. I had to help drive you everywhere until your mother gave you her car as an intended escape vehicle when you decided to have an early Xmas back in the comfort of your home that it appears that you have never left.
 
Our beautiful son is next to me having fun with Minecraft while Im typing this probably futile letter as I continually hope.
It has been an 8 year struggle bringing up our son with your many moods , so that you would frequently take my son away to the safe haven of your home .
 
I want to have a wonderful life with my son and realize that you will have to always be involved. I feel if you are cooperate and Lord willing, sever that strong rope that ties you and my son into your parents home, we will have a successful as parents.
At this point , the way things are going Colin will end up following his brothers footsteps and have most of his life in a red Trump loving state, and will forget about his ties to being Australian.
It was a dream of mine to be Australian. It appears  the strong web spun by the matriarch of this little town and family, will never let go of you and my son until he is grown.
It will be too late then.
sincerely, your x
 
 
 
(When he came he was dressed in his older brothers, school jumper... almost to slap me more in my face when I see him)
 
It was a dream of mine to be Australian. It appears  the strong web spun by the matriarch of this little town and family, will never let go of you and my son until he is grown.
It will be too late then.
 
 
I have told you about the curse but did not write about that in my letter to you

Monday, December 12, 2016

a beautiful day before the tempest of Trump and bipolar forces of nature

it was only a few votes.. again we won the popular vote as we did with Gore and Bush stealing Florida...
it just seems that the last republicans for president have been draft dodgers and criminals...
I have so many worries ahead of me even if Hillary became president...


the sun is out and I spend the morning catching up on this historic moment when our future president is a criminal, rapist, racist misogynist...
and he got the majority of the white uneducated white vote that dominates the Midwest still.. we had 2 and a half million votes for Hillary.. we thought she would be a shue in...


I have to get my chromebook fixed so I can write my Mermaid Tale...




"Human ancestor 'Lucy' was a tree climber, new evidence suggests"Evidence preserved in the internal skeletal structure of the world-famous fossil, Lucy, suggests the ancient human species frequently climbed trees, according to a new analysis by scientists from The Johns Hopkins University and The University of Texas at Austin."


I want to explore this with the creation of mermaids and when to start the date from when the species diverged from land hominids...


Today is beautiful because even though , I am encountering issues with my x, I am bonding more with my beautiful  son...


I am actually praying with Charles to get along better with my wife...


I fear to say too much since a couple of my neighbors read this on a regular notice...
and im still after that crook who took my money and won a case against him...


Im sure one neighbor will tell the crook what I wrote!


8 days later....
its funny or better term, ironic... we should have gone to church , while she and the evil queen were plotting the nuking of a home... all the texts I wrote expressing my anger, shock, dismay, or expected??


remembering to treasure each moment that is wonderful with my son, before the witches take him to their ivory fortress hiding in the Ozark forest with forbidden fruits waiting to be smoked...


all of my dreams , momentarily woken up from , to reality and even worse future with a megalomanic man who angrily tweets in the wee hours of the morning after chatting with one of his 3 ghosts....


...
so going to 3rd person in these traumatic times,:
 like losing his common law gf of 13 years,
 knowing that no woman would love him as much as her...
and the little black kitty brings bad luck.. or  maybe the old man 's universe , just knew that he would need her and his soul mate canine, Buffy the evil thought slayer??  another friend to accompany the old man on the longest loneliest nights of another traumatic bipolar bear xmas??


Colin finds the stray a couple months ago as the autumn grew cool longer nights... and his father brings the blessing to their warm home, from the sometimes generous universe, he was badly wanting a kitty ,
and his mother wants to help him find it, knowing she's allergic to it,  ... perhaps the way the old man was allergic to his xs high pitched whine, that could be muted by being in the other corner of his home...


a couple months later the old man is grateful for his new black pussy to keep him warm on those cold windy okie nights.....she hops up on his lap , while hes involved in his mad texting at the
curse of his life...
 concocted and pitched by a seductive sorceress ,
 that when the new moon came on that Friday the 13 of July, at the top of the earth in the deep Rockies,
she would appear as the sun hid behind the rockies for the midsummer evening...
"Hey Dude!'
and his life was changed as he took that turn
and body surfed that wave that she came in  on...
half a year later the love of his life is conceived on a cold January night high up in the Tohatchi plains of the enchanted land...
ppp pass


a teacher assistant, half Navajo and half Hopi, tells him when he was working on the Rez,
she had a dream not even knowing that his much younger love was bearing his future son
of seeing the old teacher and chess coach come back to Tohatchi,
and his son appeared after hiding behind his back
a prince born in Oz and conceived in Enchantment (??)
what a tail to tell the world...
something tells the man to head back west again...
 and see what happens??


when will that magic happen again?