Saturday, December 31, 2016

I am treasuring each moment that Im with my son. We are sitting next to each other at the library. I am still so frustrated with another similar cycle of bad luck except it is worse, with knowing I will not see my son for 2 or 3 months because its such a far way and my old infinity will have a hard time driving 300 miles.

They are stubborn (x and her mother) and will not drive half way or even a third of the way.
My car is old so I will say you can come to my home or meet me half way.  Take it or leave it...

It is so stressful that she called my neighbor when she thought that my phone was disconnected . The neighbor had to ruin a beautiful morning , just being the messenger, and I was not in the mood for my few days to be ruined...
   better times...
 
 
It is easier for me to be angry at granny for continually planning on taking my son the way she took her other son to bring up herself in her little town where she rules as the family matriarch...
 
my son is so deep in this web that the spider has spun

Friday, December 30, 2016

so much has happened,

I know that my neighbors will be the first to read this, probably that silly fear has intimidated me from fear of writing, especially when some folks just enjoy adding to one's misery when there is a chance... knowing that one bloke is probably still in touch with the conman builder who swindled me out of half my savings for a burned garage...:

Dear mother of my child,
I am happy that you tried to live with me for a year and our tempers would often get the best of both us. This perhaps caused us to raise our voices in front of Colin.
You and Colin would qualify for low income housing in Okc and they are nice apartments close to Northridge.
I would be much more obliged and happy to send you money to get started . What little I will me making averaging less than 700 per month. It will be more when I do the infrequent long term sub jobs.
 
 This way, we can keep up his soccer and it will take months to finally get the stride in his learning that he was developing with Ms.  whom he loved so much. It is often hard to find that special rapport between a student and a teacher
 
I don't know if you ever read these emails, but you realized when you moved in with me for a year that it is good for Colin to have his father involved with him on a daily basis. I was taking Colin to soccer and Judo. I want to continue being involved with his learning.
I hope that you will change your mind. You and your mother will again become very tired of each other and perhaps fighting with her over control attention of Colin.
 
It has been more and more challenging to bond with my son, because he in reinforced into believing "Daddy is a loser", every time he has extended visits with grandparents and cousins.
He actually told me today when I asked him if he respected his grandmother more, he said that "she is not a loser like you are" , in his own words.
It is very hard and painful for me, when my son calls me a loser frequently. I am having a wonderful 5 days with my son and know he loves me, but does not respect me so I am determined to earn his respect.
Your family frequently taking my son for their own enjoyment and  sunshine in their mundane lives has tremendously hurt the wonderful bond that I used to have with my younger son.
I had an awful image of Colin ending up graduating from Clinton and getting into frequent trouble as your older son would. You told me that John also has anger issues.
You must know, Angela, that the continual tug of war from one home to another and to different teachers will only exacerbate our son's anger issues.
 
You came to me a year ago with what I felt was a little love and caring that I thought was rekindled into a little romance . Things were going very well with you getting a job for 2 months, but then after you losing your car sales job, and you were left with the huge payments.
Drinking and driving led to that car being taken away. I had to help drive you everywhere until your mother gave you her car as an intended escape vehicle when you decided to have an early Xmas back in the comfort of your home that it appears that you have never left.
 
Our beautiful son is next to me having fun with Minecraft while Im typing this probably futile letter as I continually hope.
It has been an 8 year struggle bringing up our son with your many moods , so that you would frequently take my son away to the safe haven of your home .
 
I want to have a wonderful life with my son and realize that you will have to always be involved. I feel if you are cooperate and Lord willing, sever that strong rope that ties you and my son into your parents home, we will have a successful as parents.
At this point , the way things are going Colin will end up following his brothers footsteps and have most of his life in a red Trump loving state, and will forget about his ties to being Australian.
It was a dream of mine to be Australian. It appears  the strong web spun by the matriarch of this little town and family, will never let go of you and my son until he is grown.
It will be too late then.
sincerely, your x
 
 
 
(When he came he was dressed in his older brothers, school jumper... almost to slap me more in my face when I see him)
 
It was a dream of mine to be Australian. It appears  the strong web spun by the matriarch of this little town and family, will never let go of you and my son until he is grown.
It will be too late then.
 
 
I have told you about the curse but did not write about that in my letter to you

Monday, December 12, 2016

a beautiful day before the tempest of Trump and bipolar forces of nature

it was only a few votes.. again we won the popular vote as we did with Gore and Bush stealing Florida...
it just seems that the last republicans for president have been draft dodgers and criminals...
I have so many worries ahead of me even if Hillary became president...


the sun is out and I spend the morning catching up on this historic moment when our future president is a criminal, rapist, racist misogynist...
and he got the majority of the white uneducated white vote that dominates the Midwest still.. we had 2 and a half million votes for Hillary.. we thought she would be a shue in...


I have to get my chromebook fixed so I can write my Mermaid Tale...




"Human ancestor 'Lucy' was a tree climber, new evidence suggests"Evidence preserved in the internal skeletal structure of the world-famous fossil, Lucy, suggests the ancient human species frequently climbed trees, according to a new analysis by scientists from The Johns Hopkins University and The University of Texas at Austin."


I want to explore this with the creation of mermaids and when to start the date from when the species diverged from land hominids...


Today is beautiful because even though , I am encountering issues with my x, I am bonding more with my beautiful  son...


I am actually praying with Charles to get along better with my wife...


I fear to say too much since a couple of my neighbors read this on a regular notice...
and im still after that crook who took my money and won a case against him...


Im sure one neighbor will tell the crook what I wrote!


8 days later....
its funny or better term, ironic... we should have gone to church , while she and the evil queen were plotting the nuking of a home... all the texts I wrote expressing my anger, shock, dismay, or expected??


remembering to treasure each moment that is wonderful with my son, before the witches take him to their ivory fortress hiding in the Ozark forest with forbidden fruits waiting to be smoked...


all of my dreams , momentarily woken up from , to reality and even worse future with a megalomanic man who angrily tweets in the wee hours of the morning after chatting with one of his 3 ghosts....


...
so going to 3rd person in these traumatic times,:
 like losing his common law gf of 13 years,
 knowing that no woman would love him as much as her...
and the little black kitty brings bad luck.. or  maybe the old man 's universe , just knew that he would need her and his soul mate canine, Buffy the evil thought slayer??  another friend to accompany the old man on the longest loneliest nights of another traumatic bipolar bear xmas??


Colin finds the stray a couple months ago as the autumn grew cool longer nights... and his father brings the blessing to their warm home, from the sometimes generous universe, he was badly wanting a kitty ,
and his mother wants to help him find it, knowing she's allergic to it,  ... perhaps the way the old man was allergic to his xs high pitched whine, that could be muted by being in the other corner of his home...


a couple months later the old man is grateful for his new black pussy to keep him warm on those cold windy okie nights.....she hops up on his lap , while hes involved in his mad texting at the
curse of his life...
 concocted and pitched by a seductive sorceress ,
 that when the new moon came on that Friday the 13 of July, at the top of the earth in the deep Rockies,
she would appear as the sun hid behind the rockies for the midsummer evening...
"Hey Dude!'
and his life was changed as he took that turn
and body surfed that wave that she came in  on...
half a year later the love of his life is conceived on a cold January night high up in the Tohatchi plains of the enchanted land...
ppp pass


a teacher assistant, half Navajo and half Hopi, tells him when he was working on the Rez,
she had a dream not even knowing that his much younger love was bearing his future son
of seeing the old teacher and chess coach come back to Tohatchi,
and his son appeared after hiding behind his back
a prince born in Oz and conceived in Enchantment (??)
what a tail to tell the world...
something tells the man to head back west again...
 and see what happens??


when will that magic happen again?

Sunday, November 27, 2016

I wonder what to say. I know my neighbors can check my blog and the conman builder who took 50k from me can read this.
I am depressed more than I was 12 years ago. Bush at least was the status quo and would follow directions of the repub party, which is not great, but compared to the monster who will take over January 20th, Bush is a saint!


I have so many things to discuss but the fear of judgemental readers holds me back.



Sunday, November 20, 2016

I am feeling more hopeless of our country when Bush was reelected and I was stopped after coming out of a Schwagstock concert!

So many things that I want to write , but fear about the anonymity , when my neighbors know when Im writing.

Friday, September 09, 2016

. September 8th happy that my family is together just trying to live one day at a time one moment at a time life is short I love my son so much
I'm at a Crossroads in my life
to decide to become a teacher
I write my book
 it's a matter of putting several pages together and then figuring out which stories all the best and I need to get Help from My Friends
even perhaps my neighbors but the judgmentalism of the human nature intimidates me more than anything
I had another beautiful day with my son we went to some family therapy with a good counselor who has played a couple of family games
the Dynamics would help us appreciate my ex coming back today for the sake of our beautiful son!
I have to pinch myself and I'm blessed to be his father and I shouldn't be last I'm doing everything that I can with him
I have to overcome that often disability of laziness....tomorrow... domani!n


the story of my life,,, sad i cant even borrow some fold up chairs for the evening :( sorry

im not going to hide my feelings and being intimidated by a few of you that know me and happened to know my intimate blog..

dont read it , if you dont like it ... people and their nosiness annoys me...

Tomorrow, I need to really get it together!

Sunday, August 14, 2016

You can do voice typing
I mowed my lawn finally…  
I hope that pleases my neighbors here I sit broken hearted
washed my dog and only farted

Practicing .. now i can Not really say what I really want to say because my neighbors are reading this and I can't feel like this I can't feel free to write uninhibited

Usain Bolt is about to run the hundred meter semi final

I want to open up but there's always somebody is judging my writing or what I'm saying
I want to talk to my brother  but then I don't want to talk to my brother because he's almost like a surrogate mother slash father
it and I've been meaning to talk to him but don't want to get lectured I get enough lecture from other people that I don't need I don't want to hear what I already really know…
I is I love playing with him I love just knowing that he's here in our own home and I think how I was a year ago all alone except my savior Buffy

Monday, July 25, 2016

whatever...

 my blog has upset many folks because this is the  only place , I feel free to write about what I honestly feel..

I made the mistake (??) of letting a few folks know about my most intimate blog...

I have lived on this street almost as long as my wonderful friend, Charles, and the other family, who has only been a pain, even when my common law wife (gf of 13  years) lived...

I could go on about the past but I won't unless it is still pertinent, because bullies and control freaks  will always be that way...

x mother in law is control freak, and others ... now because some neighbors that I did not actually want them to know my blog was running are my most avid readers...

the only thing we learn from the past is we learn nothing... or if we don't learn from it, we are doomed to repeat it...

I made many mistakes, and this blog is my intimate diary which some nosy neighbors want to keep reading.. it is my life and here it is...
if you don't like it, as Martin Luther King said in German,


"Gehen eine andere Kirche finden, wenn Sie wie das nicht du wirst !"

Sunday, July 24, 2016

when folks bug me about things like my lawn being an inch too high, then in the next breath tell me to let it go about a confidence man builder, wbo overcharged me 50k for the shittiest work on my place that almost burned dwon,  then took over 83rd street, talked shit about me, stayed rent free without doing any more work on my place, yet asking for 3500 , so he could make payments on his huge boat that was in my garage and his Kawasaki...  ... then I couldn't get him out of my home unless I went to court, and his sidekick, my neighbor shows up when its of course none of his busness.. the judge interrupted him on his vindictive tirade about my behavior when it had nothing to do with a builder who didn't do the work that was contracted out to him..
The judge told him to sit down and it was none of the neighbors business..

 (im sure he will call him up to tell him about this blog , because the crook is still living in this town!! stealing from other customers with his big mouth of lies...

it frustrates me... somehow they have always known about my blog... perhaps through Dave who was also another famous shit talker friends with the pain in my ass, neighbor, who has continually talked shit , because it is in his nature to be a bully,
while folks like us are supposed to let it go..

yeh let things go , they say, but then they are the first to complain about how you set your garbage can in front of your home...

Saturday, July 23, 2016

my bad, my very good friend didn't tell her, but sneaky malicious neighbor told her about it and whined about my dog house...

apparently he avidly reads this site
 so he can tell his confidence man, builder, who stole 55k from me...
I have a judgment served for him owing 5,000...(the builder stayed in my home rent free with me paying him 3500$) while I was gone in Oz...
instead the builder maligned me all up and down the street gaining their confidence talking shit about me and even having barbecues inviting everyone to look at my home and brag that he would just take over my home...
it is amazing the thinking and rationalizing that go on in  their heads to justify their nosy behavior and actually as far as the builder is concerned, getting away a large crime and defrauding customers, the way Trump would...


the sneaky neighbor who talks shit to anyone whom will listen , including a long list of my tenants, (and wrecked my business with them so they would walk off without paying little or no rent for years, because I made the mistake of feeling sorry for the family)

im worried the statute of limitations is running out, so im sure he will quickly phone his confidence man to tell him to read this.. like he told my good friends wife...

I actually didn't want some folks to read this, but somehow, it slipped out years ago...


the names will be changed to protect the guilty when I write my book...
to be continued
 ... oh and by the way, the bloke that enjoys talking shit about others and that's why he probably loves trump (bullies love other bullies), he showed up in court to talk shit about my behavior, which had nothing to do with the shitty job that builder never did, besides never finishing correctly all the crap the builder forgot to do and lied about (including the Mexicans he hired left the large tools where left barely an inch of insulation...   so I look at my green lawn while the others are all brown from this long drought...  where has our freedom gone from the pursuit of happiness, with out some nosy neighbor always making sure to rain on your parade..      



  I am doing my best to just bring up my son, without others that have nothing better to than complain about your front lawn
                                                                                                                                                                  

Friday, July 22, 2016

always problems... for just wanting to enjoy your habitat

unfortunately, my best friend , divulged of my most intimate blog, that I don't even want my brother to read and of course, everyone else that knows my life and behavior, and will use it against with 5 page emails about my lawn and dog house..

they don't bother the other neighbors about any other crap,,, but one complains, and I suppose I will get a note on the door about the big dog house as a parting gift from my very helpful other neighbor...

I was given a huge essay about what I should do with my lawn and garden as far as upkeep...
it was kept track of because I had not completely finished it to the neighbors satisfaction before the last rain storm well over a fortnight ago... we are doing through a drought , but because I keep my lawn high, it has stayed greener than 90 percent of the lawns on the street...

it reminds me so much of the chair that I kept in front of my place on the beach... this angry eastern European girl believed it was her lawn, just as some folks tell you if let off one firecracker on july 4th, they come screaming out in front of my family that its their street ... and im chastised as an errant elementary student..

oh well,... riots and killings are going on all over our country, yet some folks get mad if your lawn is over an inch too high

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Hi LA!  ... hope u are reading this..
I am embarrassed about my mental block with paperwork ... I do need therapy for me and my family..
the biggest obstacle is just getting started on all that paperwork, especially getting forms

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Garvald clinging onto adolescent middle age or this peter pan giligan syndrome??

so much he has to do, that he would rather write or even escape even more in his mind with this very rigged backgammon..   and then perhaps he has fantasies of the universe actually rigged by a being "God"   ..uh oh..pp pass... to heavy a subject...
but he continues with this hopeful agnostic "fantasy" that there is somebody pulling the strings.. and all he wants to do is be with his son, but he has to be the good cop...

so he has to get out of his overheating cave before 2 and soak up the coolness of the library while he plugs away mindlessly on his key board.. hoping for the inspiration that will get him over this huge hump in his life of indecision... which pulls him ever forwards to old age ...
he wants to treasure his moments with his son, but his son now disrespects him after hearing that his father is a "loser" in so many words.. "he doesn't even have a job, and then is just a leach""
his dad in law, would say with his sardonic redneck wit...

and they would say that's just Joe..."he's a goober"'  his stepsons live in would say... almost to say coming him its ok to be an asshole??

just as perhaps 40 percent of our population allows trump to be an asshole??
aah... to be continued..

those that slowly find out about my contentious blog are welcome to tell me which are my best essays when u peruse through all the years from the depressing time of the okie zone, when goober 2 was reelected and our country condoned our annoying aggravating wasteful (of human lives and bankrupting military bills)... aah don't get me started...

Friday, July 15, 2016

Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!

Lord, or the universal energies that give you periodic signs , sometimes more and more frequently, ie. I said Baby,,, the tv says baby girl...
there's  a word I just say and the tv says it almost synchronistical...
I have so many things to do... and I wake up and I don't say wanna see all these bills , esp. gold coast rates!   1200 per month.. my tenant, Jesus, does not pay enough in rent to cover half of the bills, yet I am so poor...
aaa..... but I finally get to be with my son today, since my x bought her car and has a sales job coming up... she has been taking everywhere along with long walkabouts in the huge expanse of Okc and its white flight suburbs...
to be continued.. I really need to get a cheap wifi.. so that I know Im at least writing to you and my muse/benefactor, Leigh Anne...

hoping we will get some of this published , if whatever funds that she has helped me find like a

"TREASURE HUNT"

but the old man is too lazy to get off his ass and start filling out all the paperwork and getting the death certificates....

Meanwhile the world is in continual turmoil, while we reach the Malthusian end of the exponential growth of our killer species....
pp pass

Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!

Lord, or the universal energies that give you periodic signs , sometimes more and more frequently, ie. I said Baby,,, the tv says baby girl...
there's  a word I just say and the tv says it almost synchronistical...
I have so many things to do... and I wake up and I don't say wanna see all these bills , esp. gold coast rates!   1200 per month.. my tenant, Jesus, does not pay enough in rent to cover half of the bills, yet I am so poor...
aaa..... but I finally get to be with my son today, since my x bought her car and has a sales job coming up... she has been taking everywhere along with long walkabouts in the huge expanse of Okc and its white flight suburbs...
to be continued.. I really need to get a cheap wifi.. so that I know Im at least writing to you and my muse/benefactor, Leigh Anne...

hoping we will get some of this published , if whatever funds that she has helped me find like a

"TREASURE HUNT"

but the old man is too lazy to get off his ass and start filling out all the paperwork and getting the death certificates....

Meanwhile the world is in continual turmoil, while we reach the Malthusian end of the exponential growth of our killer species....
pp pass

Thursday, July 14, 2016

I had a theme that I was going to briefly tell you about while I'm on a partial escape from myself and my cave while in this currently alienated state.... back to living with my x for 6 months...just telling u this freaks me out that some total stranger could find out this info and see all the things that ive... written...
I need to get a tape recorder... excited now that I have 2 other blogs,  turbayne.com and garvald.net since someone else has garvald.com    based in Edinburgh for special needs people (?)

overall its been another rough day where I have to learn to not lose it with my family back with me, with still the insecurity that they could leave at any time... I will eventually get wifi and have these writings coming late at night  or when Im romanticized by pictures of the sea or the colors of another evening passing my our view in our little backyard...

Saturday, July 09, 2016

What then is freedom? The power to live as one wishes.

well,, that one was a good one for me to not feel guilty about being lazy and doing all the shit that I have to do!!
its overwhelming, but at least my x who decided that I was Colin's best dad , has been living with me for 6 months....
our divorce was because bottom line, she is manic depressive as many of my xs were (I believe_)
I was agnostic about the condition , until living with the ups and downs of this condition(disability/or talen?)....
she finally got a job, and with a new Honda, but will have taken out of her paycheck.. perhaps they do this , because they are so happy to have someone be making payments for 6 years!!
and if she gets fired, she still has to make the payments...:(

Wednesday, July 06, 2016

ok.... dokie... back to the okie zone...

or should I say back to writing to my dear friend who I share some of my most intimate thoughts with sometimes total disregard for how it can be used against me...
I have so much to do and to follow up to get the right ids and stuff to get some of these funds...
I have to get the ball rolling to get something started..

I feel frustrated, overwhelmed and then lazy, before I finally get the ball rolling and Im taking that river out past these overwhelming waves which have been pounded against me and then I get enough chance for a breath before another giant wave comes over me and I have to hold my breath and wait before I can come to the surface to exhale!!!

I was almost surprised that my x, or other half of my unconditional love for the mother of our beautiful son.., came home with a job and a new Honda Saturn ... my son wants to celebrate, so we get in her new car and she feels as territorial as Buffy does with a toy she just acquired.... and we are off and
im just apprehensive about everything... her mom is paying the insurance because Im just living on fumes from all the help and old policies ive had since I was born... I love my parents because I will always have enough and last resort, I will have to sell my homes but not until our family has grown up in both hemispheres ...
as we vicariously live through our son experiencing everything new or the novelty of everything keeps us both fresh...


so they  are off today and my son is with her... frustrated that she didn't tell me... but Ive just been taking him to the library since I cant afford wifi .... but cox has this 10$ deal... so I can write fluently and just let the stream of consciousness (ala Ulysees) and write our famous book...
my benefactor, LA, has been my muse and it seems like the magic of writing happens so much more easily than this "evil" entity called facebook... (which we fear will store all of our personal info for some Russian hacker to take and possibly use against me if I run for political office (just kidding, I would get shot by a redneck gun carrying NRA disgruntled by my writing, or they burn my home down again because of the human trait of pure malicious hate (:... whoa... u know again my feelings of the ignorant redneck that voted in GW and could somehow steal the election again maybe with the help of putin(??)... and continue this endless war that I predicted while everyone was in this nationalistic hate and desire for war..)

ok.. my  writing can be a little overwhelming, but you my friend (I hope) can peruse through all my decade of writing...

Saturday, July 02, 2016

Hi good friends and the few that Ive selectively told about my inner personal domain... all this writing I eventually need to put together in a book!
I occasionally read my daily horoscope and its often close to my feelings...
I read the cookie that my x opened up for me" and said I would come into fortune!" , and just when my good friend , benefactor and muse told me the sites to go to...
my issue as always is getting the right birth and death certificates along with all the proper paper work (and that fact of work and putting my head together for it is worse than my fear of sharks...)
now its a quiet Saturday and there is peace at home, although my son and I don't like it when she overindulges in brew..
it sets her into another personality which so reminds me of the behavior in Oz that scared the beJesus out of me...

uly 2, 2016Basking in Self-Love
Sagittarius Daily Horoscope

You may feel loved and accepted today. You may find yourself seeking comfort and acknowledgment from loved ones and experience a sense of connection and belonging.
You can also choose to strengthen your sense of self-love by pursuing activities that make you happy. (library and playing this addictive losing rigged game of backgammon which only robs me of precious time and fast forwards me to another day gone and wasted... to accelerate my negative self talk>>.)

 Engaging in a self-love meditation to infuse yourself with feelings of happiness could also prove helpful.
 Simply set aside time to be alone, release all of your worries, and call up feelings of love from your heart’s center.

Visualize yourself as safe, happy, loved, and content, and allow these feelings to spread through your entire being. Spend as much time today as you wish basking in these feelings, and keep them with you as you proceed with the rest of your day.

and take in a deep breath of the cool ac air of the library with my son sitting across from me as he watches minecraft
 
 

Hi good friends and the few that Ive selectively told about my inner personal domain... all this writing I eventually need to put together in a book!
I occasionally read my daily horoscope and its often close to my feelings...
I read the cookie that my x opened up for me" and said I would come into fortune!" , and just when my good friend , benefactor and muse told me the sites to go to...
my issue as always is getting the right birth and death certificates along with all the proper paper work (and that fact of work and putting my head together for it is worse than my fear of sharks...)
now its a quiet Saturday and there is peace at home, although my son and I don't like it when she overindulges in brew..
it sets her into another personality which so reminds me of the behavior in Oz that scared the beJesus out of me...

uly 2, 2016Basking in Self-Love
Sagittarius Daily Horoscope

You may feel loved and accepted today. You may find yourself seeking comfort and acknowledgment from loved ones and experience a sense of connection and belonging.
You can also choose to strengthen your sense of self-love by pursuing activities that make you happy. (library and playing this addictive losing rigged game of backgammon which only robs me of precious time and fast forwards me to another day gone and wasted... to accelerate my negative self talk>>.)

 Engaging in a self-love meditation to infuse yourself with feelings of happiness could also prove helpful.
 Simply set aside time to be alone, release all of your worries, and call up feelings of love from your heart’s center.

Visualize yourself as safe, happy, loved, and content, and allow these feelings to spread through your entire being. Spend as much time today as you wish basking in these feelings, and keep them with you as you proceed with the rest of your day.

and take in a deep breath of the cool ac air of the library with my son sitting across from me as he watches minecraft
 
 

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

"Buffy is problematic"

I love my neighbor, Charles but I do get a little jealous, because Charles was always sweet to her and let her sit with him on the couch... and she has always been so in love with him... she used to wet herself with excitement but now she still acts like her puppy in her twelfth year of life... she will be 12 around xmas....

but Buffy now as an old Rez dog loves her freedom and will use any chance to escape... and first thing is she runs across the street to sit on Charles porch...
 it was a nice cool morning yesterday so I stupidly left the door askew to let the morning breeze in....
she of course is gone for 3 hours being a holy terror to other dogs barking through their fences...

so she of course greets Charles and his wife... she sends me an email   "buffy is problematic "

hmmm... i'll leave it at that for now..

"Buffy is problematic"

I love my neighbor, Charles but I do get a little jealous, because Charles was always sweet to her and let her sit with him on the couch... and she has always been so in love with him... she used to wet herself with excitement but now she still acts like her puppy in her twelfth year of life... she will be 12 around xmas....

but Buffy now as an old Rez dog loves her freedom and will use any chance to escape... and first thing is she runs across the street to sit on Charles porch...
 it was a nice cool morning yesterday so I stupidly left the door askew to let the morning breeze in....
she of course is gone for 3 hours being a holy terror to other dogs barking through their fences...

so she of course greets Charles and his wife... she sends me an email   "buffy is problematic "

hmmm... i'll leave it at that for now..

Thursday, June 23, 2016

t's great to be back in school , sort of...
It is amazing how summer has flown by so fast!
I'm wanting to write more but the bug has not captured my desire to write..
At least I can say hello to everyone

now I've escaped to Serendipachi again and all the worries of reality

We are still at war and Bush is still in office but at least his "brain" is gone!

I joyously accept my beautiful home away from home on one of the most beautiful stretches of beach in the world, the Gold Coast.

The desires of my heart are fulfilled when I swim and surf in the crytal blue waters of the Pacific.

I'm planning on going there for the winter break for 2-3 weeks..I'll have to find someone to take care of my darling Buffy so maybe I can find someone that will be staying here during the xmas break...they can put her inside my home in Serendipachi while I'm gone...

It was sure nice having an escape from reality travelling with my canine soulmate all around the northwest part of this still beautiful country despite the onslaught of RV's and noisy overtestosteroned motor bikes...
we saw so many gluttonous gas guzzlers escaping the heat and crowding from the ever expanding megalopolis's of over cemented suburbia with all of its "bubburbans" driven by Bubbas and Bubbettes totally oblivious to their own thoughtless trails of their carbon imprints!

I loved seeing all the wildlife and natural geographies of Yellowstone, Glacier, the Tetons and the most beautiful and least disturbed by our eco-monsters, the Olympic National Park....
It is said how our forests are being destroyed by fires as a result of the warming. I heard on NPR how a new beatle has arrived due warmer summers that leave the trees even more succeptible to forest fires...All throughout the midwest the beautiful forests are being ravaged by fires!


other than that, I'm having a wonderful time exploring all of New Mexico with a special friend who is not a psycho like others in the past.

It is amazing how life can be so wonderful when you can share your life with a wonderful muse!

Tuesday, June 21, 2016


for some reason , I feel far freer (?) going in here to this " zone" for comfort in a nonjudgemental audience ( me and LA??)
I am recovering from PTDS post traumatic divorce syndrome....
but I was really divorcing the in laws...
so everything was going well in the arkiezone as long as the much tamer queen was in charge...
(even so much as enjoying a little herb from the manufactured weedarette with filter attached)..
I was most impressed with the old king's weedarette maker than anything along with being impressed with the well manicured homegrown...(and ..wasn't this one of the main thing the Ozark family was going to use against me in the divorce court that never happened)

I of course was knowing we needed to vacate the mini king/queendom as soon as possible before the peace that I made was all shattered or up in smoke with the hilarity of his high pitched laugh of an old bloke that enjoys being the center of the limelight imbibed upon by his magic herb and of course his patrician beer (he would always cut me down for so many things to ridicule how cheap I am)
   finally with the medicine and encouragement from my x mate to join the ring instead of ignoring his freshman/middle school bullying behavior (brought on by being the youngest of his brood and always showing that he was better than his brothers)

he becomes a different man after the herb and brew, going from introverted fitness nut to outverted bohemian asshole and the star of the show.. but it is his domain, so its his Donald trump right to still wants to show off in front of his family and pretty women
 he acts like he will pass but passes it my ex of my stepsons gf continually playing keep the joint away from the outlaw of our family

he laughs his cackle and shoves the cigarette and snatches it away as I put my perhaps too eager hand for a little medicinal toke, that helps me de stress among annoying bullies

I express my frustration to my x and she laughs knowing her dear old dad so well...
" that's just Joe"
he runs off to his room as if he still wants to prove something, especially in front of his kin, and comes back with
a quarter bag filled  and packed up with the delicious herb  and snatches it away before I can even touch or smell it

"You'll get this when u leave" he says in his faux redneck/hillbilly way"

deep in the back of my mind, I know its a false promise worthy of Trumps promises ... (I think this man only speak with forked tongue)

after finally obtaining the last dredges of the cigarette , he wants it back almost reaching over trying to grab it... I keep it feeling I obtained it successfully in his childish keep away game with his daughter...
This makes him very angry and as predicted says...
well you aint getting this!
and take his prize away and walks off as a child would when he says  to the other boy, im not playing with anymore!

and I think what can I do to make this unbearable stay better other than avoiding this man I have to thank for being here because I would never have met my son !
for some reason , I feel far freer (?) going in here to this " zone" for comfort in a nonjudgemental audience ( me and LA??)
I am recovering from PTDS post traumatic divorce syndrome....
but I was really divorcing the in laws...
so everything was going well in the arkiezone as long as the much tamer queen was in charge...
(even so much as enjoying a little herb from the manufactured weedarette with filter attached)..
I was most impressed with the old king's weedarette maker than anything along with being impressed with the well manicured homegrown...(and ..wasn't this one of the main thing the Ozark family was going to use against me in the divorce court that never happened)

I of course was knowing we needed to vacate the mini king/queendom as soon as possible before the peace that I made was all shattered or up in smoke with the hilarity of his high pitched laugh of an old bloke that enjoys being the center of the limelight imbibed upon by his magic herb and of course his patrician beer (he would always cut me down for so many things to ridicule how cheap I am)
   finally with the herb and encouragement from my x mate to join the ring instead of ignoring his freshman/middle school bullying behavior (brought on by being the youngest of his brood and always showing that he was better than his brothers)

he becomes a different man after the herb and brew, going from introverted fitness nut to outverted bohemian asshole and the star of the show.. but it is his domain, so its his Donald trump right to still wants to show off in front of his family and pretty women
 he acts like he will pass but passes it my ex of my stepsons gf continually playing keep the joint away from the outlaw of our family

he laughs his cackle and shoves the cigarette and snatches it away as I put my perhaps too eager hand for a little medicinal toke, that helps me de stress among annoying bullies

I express my frustration to my x and she laughs knowing her dear old dad so well...
" that's just Joe"
he runs off to his room as if he still wants to prove something, especially in front of his kin, and comes back with
a quarter bag filled  and packed up with the delicious herb  and snatches it away before I can even touch or smell it

"You'll get this when u leave" he says in his faux redneck/hillbilly way"

deep in the back of my mind, I know its a false promise worthy of Trumps promises ... (I think this man only speak with forked tongue)

after finally obtaining the last dredges of the cigarette , he wants it back almost reaching over trying to grab it... I keep it feeling I obtained it successfully in his childish keep away game with his daughter...
This makes him very angry and as predicted says...
well you aint getting this!
and take his prize away and walks off as a child would when he says  to the other boy, im not playing with anymore!

and I think what can I do to make this unbearable stay better other than avoiding this man I have to thank for being here because I would never have met my son !


Monday, June 20, 2016

no good deed goes unpunished

blessed are the peacemakers...hoping to make peace with x dad in laws and was working well enjoying the herb but always he wanted to insult his x son in law
i figured mowing the lawn, buying him steaks, would all help..
I was the odd man out and couldnt kiss up to him well enough
s
take your dog and leave


Sunday, June 19, 2016

so great to have my blog... i want to thank steve macintosh for being in my small network of friends.. so cool!
have to figure out how to tranfer photos to this cheaper chrome book



o

feel free to write comments ... especially knowing i have readers makes my dads day while waiting for my family to wake up this afternoon!!:)

Thank you LA!   i feel this summer we are coming out of the closet in so many ways... if one can make peace with the x inlaws , one can solve world peace...
puff puff pass

i feel like when i write this I am talking to you , because you are in effect the mother of my baby...
:)
its amazing about being a parent... and for 2 years I missed my baby and almost my best friend, lover.. etc...
this blog has been way out there and now i realize it will be the rough draft for my book...
ala jack kerouac, hunter s thompson and a little cheech and chong perhaps... all children of the marijuana movement .. that I feel is almost a religion if not already.. if that is the way you feel??
 ...
with this blog, its my backyard where I can walk around naked if I want and some neighbor wants to complain , they can look the other way...
the freedom to enjoy a view and park your ass on a chair and watch the waves or the world spin!!

from facebook:

happy Me day!!! and I wont feel guilty for writing on my blog, enjoying coffee canabis and some of the longest days of theyear!! certain things I havent shared really until this year and wondered when I might come out of the "closet" 9 (i know u might be thinking gay but im just not going to feel guilty for enjoying this wonderful herb) and thought this was my phrase for closet cannabizers?? .. so with a few friends who I dont feel are too judgemental towards my lifestyle, philosophy and style of expose??
here it is www.escapetheokiezone.com put a like if you visit my site please as a daddy day gift? 

dont eat a piece of pizza before a very hungry woman who is eyeing the tasty slice that you have in your hand!

Saturday, June 18, 2016

wow!!! we finally figured out how to write some more.. i am so excited about putting all of this together eventually for a book!
Thank you Leigh anne!




Saturday, June 04, 2016

wow... we are back in the OKIE ZONE!! PRAISE OUR GREAT BENEFACTOR AND LEIGH ANNE

ok... what do we do now... so much has happened , but Lord and Universe willing , we will plan our escape from the Okie zone again!!

cannabis actually helps my creativity and I'm able to get along better with my xhalf! 
But unfortunately it is so expensive , so we have to use it sparingly and when I want to watch the News and communicate with her, she is so much more relaxed that I am  able to get my point across!
It is a beautiful day on a Saturday and I have actual hope that, one step at a time we will get through everything!
I worry about being entrapped in the Arkie Zone when we visit the In laws!!
Colin and I are now at the Warr acres library and I feel like I can write with impunity, and not worry about the powers that be censoring anything that I write..
I had so many hassles with Dot Easy but it looks like we finally unlocked our domain with LA's wonderful help!!
Godaddy is so much better and they have a chat room. Dot easy has only a Canadian phone so you cannot communicate with them!
I will continue more in a little while!!