Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Watching the movie, "limitless", really has motivated both my wife and me to get back on the meds to help us both focus!..
.."story of Eddie Morra, a down-and-out writer who takes a miracle drug which allows him to reach his true potential. Eddie quickly rises into the world of the rich and famous, but he captures the attention of a shadowy group that will stop at nothing to keep this secret to success under wraps. "(i will get into more detail about the similarities between the main character and me..cept he actually had a book contract... I was him sans the hair living in a very sad looking home in and out filled with junk from the last few decades, almost as if it could be a scene in modern Dickens novel..she rolls her eyes, but listen in my dream this morning the female teacher told me I wrote like Voltaire of all people...i digress as a normal add just a little bit cannabized...having discovered some hidden left as a present for later in life )

The other day, one of my attorneys said to me as only a good friend could say to another friend without fear of reprisal, when I failed to notice the attachment he wrote when I was reading my email very early in the morning with a foggy mind... I told him that I didn't notice it...
 " as usual u have ur head up ur ass"  ... (unfortunately, it's mostly true as my friends and intimate enemies probably know)..
countless exgfs thought this and it appears to frustrate my wife to no ends..
 of course my mother wondered and worried about me...long before the  lack of attention disorder had a label...

I've long realized for  a decade how well the meds worked for my survival in jobs and challenges in my life that just had to be done.:
ie. - transporting my family to Oz without losing the passports!,
-overcoming the challenges of a home burned down mysteriously an hour after I left the country, and taking care of business despite the constant challenges from the malicious side of human nature...and learning more and more that which doesn't kill you often makes you stronger , sometimes even more resillient...
-becoming a father and evolving everyday into the father that I want to become and see..
(more examples to be included in later rewrites)

  So less  than 1/4  of a pill,  the normal dosage, is enough for me to get stuff that really needs to be done when they are my family survival's highest priorities..
 it's amazing how the threatening  things like making a call to the IRS
 or even how challenging it is sometimes to "get off my ass and just get away from the tube"
just to make some important phone calls...
 I just want to prograsstinate..
so after taking it, I'm realizing that I'm doing things that I would normally put off.. "ahh, can't be bothered..what's the point?"

some "americans seem to get better when the chips are down" Brian Williams says on the 5:30 NBC nightly news....
hey wassup, dude?
Father and son Mermaid Beach surf swim team!

( I'm 100% Aussie blooded though and my favorite son is a native fair dinkum Aussie)
So these last few years after our son was born, have been the most challenging yet rewarding of my life! Knowing that I have to get things done, I saw how I could do it and did it! Winning those surf swim races!
For the last couple of months I've amazed myself (maybe not to others where organization is a normal thing in their lives) about getting shit done when it had to be done....
good invaluable friends have helped me more than they might realize and even prayers from a hopeful agnostic(me)...
Now my family will soon have our place away from the negativity
So can I kill people when I join the army, Jesus?
and temporarily have our favorite place again near our favorite pool where I will teach my son to swim before his 3rd birthday!
and my son won't have to end up going to a fundamentalist church each week!

now it's the next day after a good sleep and good dreams... helps to have a healthy perspective for the day.. and so now before I'm off back to the Okie Zone on my quest to finally escape the okie zone ...
or know that this tremendous financial burden will be temporarily taken care  of...
and then visits to the accountant who offers service for the poor ( i know u think would be safer to say in the lower 5% of annual income for a family)
 to help me with the last 2 years of tax returns, of course one of those years was when my house mysteriously burned down by an alleged errant squirrel.. so with these financial issues, I should be able to justify not owing much in taxes... and especially since I dont agree that a third of my money is going for wars that the american people never had a chance to discuss and say...
"Hey wait a minute..let's think about this debacle and who the real potential winners will be.."
so i've taken a whole guarana as a natural alternative for the adderall.. then i read this when doing a search for adderall side effects..
"“When we repeatedly use a drug to help us deal with high-pressure situations, we are training ourselves to not be able to deal with those situations sober.”   
I disagree with this in part, when a person uses it in moderation and when the med helps change his life and perhaps escape the drudgery that their life would be without it... mired in a messy living room without the energy to get out of your house on a hot

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