Tuesday, February 22, 2011

" I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less(what) gray hair or a flatter belly.
i had to read this essay that steve crowmac might have wrote(?) and put in my own italics with my personality(?)
 As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie,(that extra TIM Tam when my wife gets those infamous chocholate cookies)
or for not making my bed (or change the sheets), or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avantégarde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
yeh, im messy, a slob and I certainly am extravagant about this holiday(? that will eventually have to be work)
but just the idea of living on the beach..!!

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon (Alene and my mom, Ailsa); before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
(although Mom was 76 , she was still young and vibrant..our family disintegrated after her passing and i hardly saw my brother, his kids and our extended family in Oz)

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
(and my honey let me sleep in this morning instead of working out with Stu and the life guards)
 I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.(yes i do that to much!)

I will walk the beach in a swim suit (budgy smugglers is the Aussie term of endearment for speedos) that is stretched over a bulging body,(but ive lost 9 kilos since ive arrived and could be getting that 6 pack)
 and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set (and generation x neighbors) on millionair's beach
this bloke must be a beach bum like me ...i run and duck dive thru the waves briefly believing im just gettin younger and stronger

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? (i remember the poor peace corp lunatic's poor dog getting hit, the dog got better...shame about her owner)

 But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my  (what)hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

how do u like my budgy smugglers??

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.

(i just go out and go for  a swim!!)
I've even earned the right to be wrong. (yes, even in okiehoma)

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become (im no sean connery but some think i might still have it). I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
( u could regret ur circumstance as i felt sorry for this poor english prince who had to go live the rest of his life in Coburg, Germany and end up adopting Hitler as his leader.. he could never could have his happy idyllic life with the royal family of Queen Victoria)


Crowmac, who wr0te this?? It's great!

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