Tuesday, August 31, 2010

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost

I am no great poet (as of yet)
what a wonderful pic to write poetry of....
again Im at the crossroads, in limbo back in the okie zone while pigging out at this buffet
and visiting a famous house of ill repute...
i want to see Buffy and friends of KC but I hate missing out on Colin time...
saying HI Dude!!!
but tomorrow I know Ill go on a bike ride by the Okie River..
it's nice that they've made that area like a park instead of the eyesore that it used to be..
but I cant remember the eye sore..
now it only looks nice like my house..
I almost wish that I could enjoy the house a little more
like enjoying the new car until you have to let somebody else drive it..
so that's what will be done with my old house/home...
the builder says it's his household/home
with no downpayment
only the promise that I will have alot of work done on my home to make it look even better...so we'll see...

this cheap waterproof camera takes some bizarre pics

Monday, August 30, 2010

I havent decided what to write to you while back in the Okie Zone...it's cool visiting on the phone with my friend, Matt (who is helping me in this whole traumatic squirrels up shit creek trying to stay warm in the misery of Okie winters)...Im back at wendy's and decided just to have a 99cent double stack as an appetizer before I head for the Chinaman's buffet...
I went into this chinese fast food place in okiecity and caucasians were serving me...when will it be the planet of the apes (metaphor) and all our roles are reversed when the Asians buy up all of our restaurants, motels and convenience stores for gas along life's highways??
this day flew by and all I wanted to do was take a picture of it and decide if it's ok to stay at my own place...
spending half of Daddy's money on this boondoggle in this great state or what??
more like great state of getting raped by a nickel and dime government that only takes money everytime you want to park or take a shit..
they want a $200.00 buildiing permit to build a fucking storage shed!!
now Im off to the Chinese buffet on council for the MOngolian grill..what life for a lonely middle aged man seeking a little happiness back in the OKie Zone!

I will have to come back to wendy's for a thick and frosty and co

Saturday, August 28, 2010

another weekend going by and I havent really done shit yet
but the main thing is making sure my home is insured and in good hands that I can trust..
trust is such a valuable commodity in this day and age of deceit and corruption..

at least the weather has been very comfortable and we can finally enjoy the summer outside ...enough so we can open the windows at night and maybe its cool enough to get all the shit out of storage if we could get help...
it has been relaxing spending more time with my little family..
Thank you, LA, for finding this hilarious clip that mirrors my life!
I hope you dont mind me borrowing it when I saw it on your facebook!
I need to call you to find out how I can include more posts on my blog!
I miss Buffy...maybe I can come see her before God willing we are off again!!

lest we forget and let the republicons take over our country again!!

we were watching The Green ZOne (no connection to the Okie zone) and I had an argument or very brief debate about the WMDs in Iraq with my "christian" mother in law (she feels that it was the right thing for us to invade Iraq because she really believes that Saddam had something to do with the terrorists in 911).. she erroneously believes that they(WMDs) were hidden in Syria!! amazing how intelligent people will blindly believe in the crap Fox News and maybe even their church tells them how to believe..
I always thought Christ was about being peaceful and against war??

Press Release of Intelligence Committee
Senate Intelligence Committee Unveils Final Phase II Reports on Prewar Iraq Intelligence

-- Two Bipartisan Reports Detail Administration Misstatements on Prewar Iraq Intelligence, and Inappropriate Intelligence Activities by Pentagon Policy Office --

Contact: Wendy Morigi (202) 224-6101
Thursday, June 5, 2008

Washington, DC -- The Chairman of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, John D. (Jay) Rockefeller IV, and a bipartisan majority of the Committee (10-5), today unveiled the final two sections of its Phase II report on prewar intelligence. The first report details Administration prewar statements that, on numerous occasions, misrepresented the intelligence and the threat from Iraq. The second report details inappropriate, sensitive intelligence activities conducted by the DoD’s Office of the Undersecretary of Defense for Policy, without the knowledge of the Intelligence Community or the State Department.

“Before taking the country to war, this Administration owed it to the American people to give them a 100 percent accurate picture of the threat we faced. Unfortunately, our Committee has concluded that the Administration made significant claims that were not supported by the intelligence,” Rockefeller said. “
In making the case for war, the Administration repeatedly presented intelligence as fact when in reality it was unsubstantiated, contradicted, or even non-existent. As a result, the American people were led to believe that the threat from Iraq was much greater than actually existed.”

It is my belief that the Bush Administration was fixated on Iraq, and used the 9/11 attacks by al Qa’ida as justification for overthrowing Saddam Hussein. To accomplish this, top Administration officials made repeated statements that falsely linked Iraq and al Qa’ida as a single threat and insinuated that Iraq played a role in 9/11. Sadly, the Bush Administration led the nation into war under false pretenses. (sadly my mom in law still believes this lie!! and will vote for Palin)

There is no question we all relied on flawed intelligence. But, there is a fundamental difference between relying on incorrect intelligence and deliberately painting a picture to the American people that you know is not fully accurate.

“These reports represent the final chapter in our oversight of prewar intelligence. They complete the story of mistakes and failures – both by the Intelligence Community and the Administration – in the lead up to the war. Fundamentally, these reports are about transparency and holding our government accountable, and making sure these mistakes never happen again,” Rockefeller added.

The Committee’s report cites several conclusions in which the Administration’s public statements were NOT supported by the intelligence. They include:

Ø Statements and implications by the President and Secretary of State suggesting that Iraq and al-Qa’ida had a partnership, or that Iraq had provided al-Qa’ida with weapons training, were not substantiated by the intelligence.

Ø Statements by the President and the Vice President indicating that Saddam Hussein was prepared to give weapons of mass destruction to terrorist groups for attacks against the United States were contradicted by available intelligence information.

Ø Statements by President Bush and Vice President Cheney regarding the postwar situation in Iraq, in terms of the political, security, and economic, did not reflect the concerns and uncertainties expressed in the intelligence products.

Ø Statements by the President and Vice President prior to the October 2002 National Intelligence Estimate regarding Iraq’s chemical weapons production capability and activities did not reflect the intelligence community’s uncertainties as to whether such production was ongoing.

Ø The Secretary of Defense’s statement that the Iraqi government operated underground WMD facilities that were not vulnerable to conventional airstrikes because they were underground and deeply buried was not substantiated by available intelligence information.

Ø The Intelligence Community did not confirm that Muhammad Atta met an Iraqi intelligence officer in Prague in 2001 as the Vice President repeatedly claimed.

Additionally, the Committee issued a report on the Intelligence Activities Relating to Iraq conducted by the Policy Counterterrorism Evaluation Group and the Office of Special Plans within the Office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Policy. The report found that the clandestine meetings between Pentagon officials and Iranians in Rome and Paris were inappropriate and mishandled from beginning to end. Deputy National Security Advisor Steve Hadley and Deputy Secretary Paul Wolfowitz failed to keep the Intelligence Community and the State Department appropriately informed about the meetings. The involvement of Manucher Ghobanifer and Michael Ledeen in the meetings was inappropriate. Potentially important information collected during the meetings was withheld from intelligence agencies by Pentagon officials. Finally, senior Defense Department officials cut short internal investigations of the meetings and failed to implement the recommendations of their own counterintelligence experts.

Today’s reports are the culmination of efforts that began in March 2003, when, as Vice Chairman, Senator Rockefeller initially requested an investigation into the origin of the fraudulent Niger documents. In June 2003, he was joined by all Democrats on the Committee in pushing for a full investigation into prewar intelligence, which was eventually expanded by the Committee in February 2004 to include the five phase II tasks.

The Committee released its first report on July 9, 2004, which focused primarily on the Intelligence Community’s prewar assessments of Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction programs and links to terrorism. Those findings helped lay the foundation for some of the intelligence reforms enacted into law in late 2004.

In September 2006, the Committee completed and publicly released two sections of Phase II: The Use by the Intelligence Community of Information Provided by the Iraqi National Congress; and Postwar Findings About Iraq’s WMD Programs and Links to Terrorism and How They Compare with Prewar Assessments.

In May 2007, the Committee released the third section of Phase II: Prewar Intelligence Assessments About Postwar Iraq.

Separately, in early 2007, the Pentagon Inspector General released its own report on the intelligence activities conducted by the Office of the Undersecretary of Defense for Policy and also concluded that those activities were inappropriate.


Friday, August 27, 2010

The tea party was probably started by Faux News... and now they are hell bent on removing Obama ..I saw this from Huffington Post


Former Republicon Party Poofta Leader, Ken Mehlman, comes out of the closet..

after he already did the damage to this country!!

oh great it's always when I do alot of eloquent writing, it gets erased!! I get so frustrated with this puter and the republicon party!!
how can these redneck retards get away with this flip flopping and still preach against gay marriage?? im not all excited about gay marriage or Ellen Degenerates popularity..
u readers that have read some of my shit must understand that...
but this bloke who was the voice for the right wing party of George Bush already helped fuck this country in the rear end, when he helped that idiot steal the election again in 2004 , by putting the gay marriage deal into the OHIO election!!
20/20 hindsight: what southern redneck would vote for a man that was endorsed by this flaming Poofta??
is this the right shade of pink that would suit the Repooflican party the best??

HuffPost's QuickRead...
Former RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman Comes Out: I'm Gay »
August 25, 2010 at 10:32 PM

Ken Mehlman, who headed the Republican National Committee between 2005 and 2007, has come out in an interview with the Atlantic's Marc Ambinder:

Mehlman arrived at this conclusion about his identity fairly recently, he said in an interview. He agreed to answer a reporter's questions, he said, because, now in private life, he wants to become an advocate for gay marriage and anticipated that questions would be asked about his participation in a late-September fundraiser for the American Foundation...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

it is very embarrassing and sad what is happening to this country with all
the hate towards Muslims brought on and exagerated by Fox News, the right wing talk show hosts and the tea party!! Now a cab driver has been stabbed due to all this right wing hate brought on by this very hostile right wing anger!!
It is very scary what could happen if or when these right wing fanatics will take over our government with the October elections and if some idiot like Palin become president in 2012!

so another day goes by as we approach the Arkansas autumn...leaves are falling like crazy in my father in laws beautiful backyard.. it's cool enough for us to open the windows and sit outside while our son plays on his trike!!..we live vicariously through his enjoyment of everything new.. he helps Mommy sweep the leaves from the very large patio.. there is something wonderful about space without the negative vibes of overpopulating humans anxious for their own little bit of space... In Oz, for right now, that is the only negative... negative vibes from a few select neighbors who don't like you blocking their views of the beach when I bring our Colin downstairs...

I have a lot of work still to do in this country and I cant find the number for the Australian consulate that helps with visas.. the worst case scenario is that I get a 3 month visa and then have to take a short trip to vanuatu or someplace exotic to extend our visas or see if we can do it over there so that I can compete in the Aussie nationals...Have I been keeping in shape?? (no, my knee has been hurting so that is my excuse not to get on the bike while the dad and brother in law enjoy their bike trip to colorado..I guess bro I.L. doesnt like me so instead it's a much more relaxed place to visit with the others all back to school..and the horrendous heat from global warming has finally let up!! I have to make lists and read more of "Driven to Distraction" with my wife on how we can do things to have a succesful ADD relationship!!

just trying to have a happy family while the global fucking crisis continues!

happiness can be so difficult... but happy wife, happy life...Colin certainly is happy.. how do we get that state of equilibrium and balance where we can all relax and enjoy what life gives to us... maybe be a little thankful that we arent in Pakistan or Aghanistan... so for the next few weeks I have to be content with Redneckstan!

it is scary that Sarah Palin appears to have more and more influence on elections for the bloke who could model for Brawny towels gets elected governor because of this crazy lady's influence!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

it was cool visiting my good friend, Charles, my neighbor in the Okie Zone!!

it always seems like when Im visiting Charles, Im most often at the crossroads of a new adventure or misadventure.. he has become the best friend and listened to all my trevails and dramas!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

wow...colin poopied a little bit on the ole poopy trainer (made sure I cleaned it with lots of bleach and alcohol)... his nana, mama and dadda all watched him with much applause.. He was so proud of himself and ceremoniously flushed it down the toilet!

Monday, August 23, 2010

well, it's moonday and I was fortunate enough to not meet any emotional vampires at the blues saloon last night.. I forgot about the blues band on sunday evenings out in their big yard when herbalizing with new friends is condoned..ohwell, I might have got kicked out again for my flirtatios behavior
it's there where I met Larry the "sole" sucker...and thought that this bloke was doin the same thing I was several years ago a year after 911 before I got kicked out by high testosteroned bartenders....
most of the old staff was there including the head of security who actually had escorted me out several times including the time I came disguised as Jesus during Halloween !! (phew.. I thought it was all erased..) while I sit here at wendy's wondering about heading back to the arkie zone since my inlaws are gone..
daddy and bruder in law are heading for a bike (the petrol free kind) trip to Colorado!
listening to a song about yesterday's gone and the new day will be better...
let's hope!! I have Mom's hand knit sweater as good luck...
the builder came by and already mowed the lawn and took out the Forbidden Formosa tree which keeps sprouting up from almmost underneath the house..like an uninvited guest that keeps showing his/her face..an errant amazonian rainbow swallow dropped off some seed which planted this tropical plant...it looks beautiful but it's a pest and the builder says it will mess with the plumbing and foundation..(good investment was the foundation blokes who give a lifetime warrantee and boosting up the building!)

as usual I have so many things to do..and

id rather write to you on my blog!!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Afghanistan's embattled president Hamid Karzai said on Sunday that U.S. taxpayers were indirectly funding "mafia-like groups" and terrorist activities with the American government's support of private contractors inside his country.

In a rare U.S. media appearance, Karzai continued to press for the removal of the vast majority of U.S. private contractors by the end of this year. He argued that their continued presence inside Afghanistan was "an obstruction and impediment" to the country's growth, a massive waste of money, and a catalyst for corruption among Afghan officials.

"The more we wait the more we lose," Karzai said during an appearance on ABC's "This Week." "Therefore we have decided as an Afghan government to bring an end to the presence of these security companies... who are not only causing corruption in this country but who are looting and stealing from the Afghan people.

"One of the reasons that I want them disbanded and removed by four months from now is exactly because their presence is preventing the growth and development of the Afghan security forces -- especially the police force -- because if 40, 50,000 people are given more salaries than the Afghan police, why would an Afghan ... man come to the police if he can get a job in a security firm, have a lot of leeway without any discipline? So naturally our security forces will find it difficult to grow. In order for our security forces to grow these groups must be disbanded."


I dont understand how my Christian mother in law can condone a war that helps war profiteers on our tax money... how can we have so many christians condone a war that is so corrupt??
we are baNK RUPTING OUR COUNTRY for a war that profits corporations!...WHEN WILL SOMEBODY SAY <>both wars that Bush family started and planned a long long time ago...folks dont realize the Bush and the powerful elite families are all connected to oil companies!

Is this a great State or What??

Why do I keep making jokes about squirrels wanting to stay warm in the middle of an Okie winter???
If I came back to this after being in Oz, some folks might be happy to see me suicidal...
but then it's not 911...no plane crashed into it and no body had to jump out of the building...
no terrorists...
only squirrels trying to survive...

How do you stay

happy?? by looking at disaster and triumph and be still able to keep your sense of humor!!

so I thought that I would play that song again that Ms. Barnstormer sent !!

Im still sitting here at Ihop and any left overs of resin are into their half lives and I approach reality... and I realize that I survived...yes, it's been a big mistake but eventually even retards learn with enough trial and errors!!

uh oh, some drunk redneck is looking at me AND I MADE THE MISTAKE OF MAKING EYE CONTACT...the bloke is as fat as his gf is skinny but she is embarrassed that he was about ready to make a scene..... it's becoming a dangerous country even here in the Okie Zone!!

while this video downloads....how does a fat ass get such a hot gf?? only in Okiehoma where chicken fried steak at the IHop rules!!

thank the universal energies we can live at the beach thousands of miles away from here!!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

phew I got on!! I was afraid that I wouldnt be able to talk to you!!
so this is the way you could see it??

"Selling the house EQUALS escaping the Okie Zone.
( duhhh!)

You will never be able to write your book until you cut this cord.

The nation's next best seller would begin with putting the house on the MLA.
its going on MLS in spring time if some redneck squirrels dont burn it down again!...yes I have insurance! this time... dont give me anymore shit about that!

Taking the reader back to 1980 during OK's brief oil boom, when you stole the couer d'Alene...
(hey, that is really good m!)

and forward through the last decade of your not even being there, ALL OF IT, and end with the closing of the sale , leaving the reader wondering, what's next? What now?

The Great Adventures of Garvald continues!!

ORRRRRR, keep throwing money into the pit including this new SHED to store STUFF you should've gotten rid of years ago, and NEVER truly escape the Okie Zone. "
(I am very flattered about your comment until the end!!..and Im bummed out that my very eloquent reply was lost in cyberspace...lost like money lost to my builder but still improving the economy in this great state of Okiedom due tothe wonderful theory of trickle down Reaganomics!!...now more Mexican families will benefit from my financial disaster and maybe be eventually to own my place when I provide them financing when nobody else will!! Hope this doesnt sound ethnic or that I could evolve from a not for profit charity landlord to be a slum lord and never leave the okie zone because Im offering a lease purchase to a needy family ...having to wait 15 years before Im finally paid off!

Our Okie Family Getting Ready to Hit the Road:Circa 1948


wow... I just realized another coincidence...IHOP connects from Wewoka!! I taught there 2 years and fell under a spell...

Friday, August 20, 2010

Yay, though I walk through the valley of the Okies,,,

I shall fear no evil squirrels!!

as usual, I decided to come over to the International house of Pooftas and tell u something profound... either "roads to take" or "roads not taken'... that is the question while I wait for my steak omelette and pancakes!!
I went on a journey to the "Blues Saloon" and met a bloke that would act just like me in a few years exhibiting the same flirtatious behavior that my licentious half used to eagerly partake in...
but the years accelerate by and I need to decide what is most important in my life...

Thankyou so much for the heartfelt letter, Stevo! it might be obvious to you that I am trying to keep my sense of humor as I await the full moon to howl the blues in KC!!
do u miss Buffy??? my long lost canine daughter??

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Coeur d'Alene was the last search where my site comes up!
do you realize that name means "heart of Alene"?? we visited the site that summer with no worries and responsibilities to look after!
maybe somebody did a search for it and my long lost love, Alene, shows up since I still talk about this wonderful lady who was devoted to me and passed away... of course, I took her for granted!

but the coincidences of this place showing up unexpectedly makes me wanna believe that her spirit is still around...
I "believe" or feel that spirit more than I believe that Jesus walked on water or turned water into wine (it would be cool if during his second coming He turned dandelions into weed,,,but isnt dandelion a weed..u know what i mean ;)
and then talk about coincidences, my dad in law competed in the "Coer d'Alene" triathalon and I think won it!... and then I married his daughter!! is that another one of the bizarre coincidences that could be a sign from above???

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

write now Im watching this stand up comic talk about his writing , stand u[p and creating this movie...
wow...that could be me!!
this homegrown has very little effect having been harvested way too green instead of at least waiting for the fall equinox..
still enough to have a little epiphany and I took half a dex earlier in case I had to get packed for the road trip...
its only 1030 and colin has come join me on the couch while the rest of the family is in bed and I have a little alone time with my son that I know and u blokes out there in cyberspace!
it's been a good day and my better half has been so nice !!
but her younger brother hates because he claims that I drink his beer and left a noose on his doorstep (like it meant some omen)_it's really weird how some folks think the worst of me..oi veh! what a mensch!

A major study of profiles listed on lonely hearts' websites, including thousands of singles in Australia, has dispelled the "cougar" phenomenon as a myth.

There was no significant group of older women seeking younger men for long-term relationships - the so-called cougar or toy boy effect - found during the analysis of 22,400 profiles from dating websites.

Dr Michael Dunn, from the Department of Psychology at the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff, said single women were almost universally found to be looking for men around their own age or older.

"Yes I do believe the cougar phenomenon is a myth and, yes, (it is) a media construct," Dr Dunn told AAP in an email on Wednesday.

"Who benefits from this perpetuated myth? ... this is mostly speculative but a clear beneficiary would be the 'cougar' or 'toy-boy' dating agencies themselves."

I beg to differ with this study.. when I was a single bloke, I noticed and saw most women my age and younger much more attracted to younger men..
just as I was attracted to younger women...maybe it's because of my own maturity :) and still think Im a lot younger than I really am..
when I look at my wife who is 17 years younger, I sometimes forget that I am older until I look at this large silver beard of mine in the mirror!
They call older ladies "cougars" and I just found out that they call attractive older males "silver foxes" ..
Silver Fox
Generally, one that has gray hair and is often desired by younger women.
That Sean Connery may be old, but he sure is one silver fox!!
(from Urban dictionary)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Back to the Okie Zone!

WHAT would the world look like after we destroyed it or ran out of oil??
with a few survivors that had a long way to walk to the next devastated city...
or we could reach that utopia where we all grow our own, have our own meat and eggs...
and everything we need would be within walking or bicycle distance... folks would be happy again not slaves anymore to these unsafe monsters we used to call AUTOmobiles!!
wow!! I love this K2 from my neighbors!
by the way, readers, do you think this futuristic pic will look like our turnpike that diagonally dissects this great state of cultural repute??

another gorgeous morning in the beautiful hills of the Ozarks...
its not so bad when there arent rug rats running around...
amazing how different u might feel after a good sleep!

wow...thanks, LA!...with your help I was able to remove this AV security suite virus...
I had to go task manager and then stop the processes of this hidden "rogue:32/fakespypro!!

it's like how relieved I am when a nail is out of my foot!
hope u like the pic?

Monday, August 16, 2010

that is so cool LA, that you can help me with the problem!!

its nice to know that I can take a road trip and connect with the cyberuniverse..

ill give u a buzz at noon, leigh anne!!
how exciting to know I can connect if I have to head back to the OKie Zone and continue working on issues with all my hoarded shit and build a large shed to put all of life's shit!
ive noticed after herbalizing sometimes, I lose my inhibitions to say somethings...and i realize that I am going to screw up what Im gonna say, which makes me even a little more paranoid!!
in the meantime, i feel so overwhelmed with all the shit that I have to do in the next month so maybe I ought to write a list...
and then feel better about myself and our relationship
maybe even visit my new friend at church who's helping us give insight on what helps a marriage!
1. do something sweet for my wife and child each morning!
2. do something fun with the family (ie go to Fairfield Bay for swimming!) colin can swim so well with his floaties!!)
3. get at least a 6 month visa
4. make sure I dont owe queenland land tax!
5. do US taxes!
6. get my puter fixed after I get this malware that maliciously got inside the puter...what an expensive mistake!!
7. figure out a way to deal with all the major fuck ups in my life and at least be philosophical and learn because life is too fucking short!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

sometimes , it can be overwhelming.....
thinking of the sudden costs of bringing up a family...
and all the inheritance money is being used for my new found family...
now my wife is going to see her ex sister in law to drop off the rug rats
stuck all day in a home where the ac is breaking down...
so when they are all gone , it's a relief , like a nail has been taken out of my foot!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I guess I have to take some more road trips...

my puter went on the blink by a virus that really hard sells you on this anti virus program, so you cant get to anything on the net unless you buy their high priced download..

and they will invade your privacy even more..

so like a long lost gf, u miss her more when you cant see her or at least talk to her..
the virus was named security suite,,maybe LA or steve could help me??

I remember my good friend steve mac helped me before with cleaning out the other laptop... he was a good friend of the poor principal who passed away...
u think of all the lives he helped and "it's a wonderful life" with Jimmy Stewart.. and then I think of where I might be when it's time to head for the light and meet Jesus, God, the universal energies...
or nothing
I hope that it's at least a few decades away when I have to meet my maker that the holy rollers talk about or the cool people in my life that really made a difference in my journey(??)
so I can have more time to write, enjoy life and vicariously through the talents, perseverance, loyalty and love of my next conciousness, who will go on after I am like Luke's Obi wan Kenobi (but more of a peaceful Jedi warrior than Obi!!)

and hopefully not run out of money for at least a few years!!

Friday, August 13, 2010

It is so sad to hear that the principal of the last high school where I worked passed away from unknown causes. I knew that he had severe health problems, so it doesn't surprise me, but I was happy that he was able to what he loved so much...teaching music at his high school...
It is sad the way a few teachers at our school did what ever they could to help get rid of him
and the look of the faux hippy bloke after he told all the teachers that he was resigning and walked out of the room
the bloke who could be an actor in a Jesus movie stood and gave everyone a shit eating grin obviously showing everyone that he was behind the conspiracy to get him fired...
sad....the principal had tried to so hard to help the school and was done in by the teachers whom he helped the most...reminds me of when Julius Caesar yelled "Et tu Brutus!" after being stabbed to death by the conspirators of the senate and finally his good friend, Brutus.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

kinda semi content with my boredom,
having more confidence that well be back in Oz in a little more than a month, where I can cavort on the backyard as a beach/husband ...married to the sea..
(uh oh.. gotta get those visas started and take care of the business,)

so I get myself into more messes...
but step by step, I should be happy

This week, we met this nice minister who gives me a totally different image of the hypocritical holy rollers of the past..he's actually helping us and we dont have to pay 80$/hour ...
(the internet said only 25% of counselors actually help marriages!)
I could stress or just relax

while I enjoy my times with little family

and savor each moment like a good wine
serendipitously, I was watching this documentary about John Lennon and how he was happy as a father.. I hope some redneck doesnt shoot me like they did John... better go enjoy the beach just in case!

ok... the desire to be the travelling warrior verses the father who knows how important it is to be with my son....to explore new worlds or to spend time with my son,,,,
the chance to be the best surf swim warrior that I can be and be a father...

I have to look through my archives of photos of time that has accelerated the last

2 years flew by...time is of the essence...
like Scrooge did when visited by the 3 ghosts...
and then just being on the verge of greatness at least in my own mind...
yeh getting that feeling that I can be in that zone..
our little family can get their step by step!
but it is very easy to be lazy when I have had a very strong taste of laziness..
guilt overwhelms me sometime and so I often
escape those thoughts as I seek a life of hedonism and good health for both me and my little family...is that something that I should feel guilty about or fuck the folks that are jealous??
with maybe sometimes a little too much herb or beer but that's often the time when we can enjoy life more at least the aussies know... sinful pleasure!

Monday, August 09, 2010

Hi!! suddenly colin started saying that to me and everybody else!!
and said "Mine!~" hat, hot, mamma , dadda, allright, and the word list keeps accelerating...
we live vicariously through him...
so today we have to think of positive goals for our relationship!
I immediately wrote 3 out long hand...
1. wake up with at least 2 positive beautiful statements about our love ones...
2. think of something fun to do with the family and actually do it..
3. spend evening saying only positive bits of love to each other and maybe end up with a romantic evening with candles by the surf...

How does spending time with the family sound mundane, steve??
now Im spending lots of wasted time looking for stuff that gets missplaced as I play with musical bedrooms with my wife and her extended family!!,,, cant find the charger for the laptop and my favorite prescription tinted glasses have been mysteriously lost or just thrown out??
it's another beautiful morning in the foothills of the Ozarks!!...when your better half is happy, suddenly you believe there is hope...you go outside for some herbalized fresh air and are inspired to go back outside and suck it all in before the temp reaches 90 to a 100...
and forget about all your worries...so again , after seeing the excerpt about the peaceful warrior(oxymoron?), I wanted to cut , paste and dissect it in regards to my own life..

"Welcoming Your Inner Warrior:
Sit before your altar, and light the purple candle. Focus on the flame, and visualize the fiery passion of the warrior soul.

yep, that's the way I feel when I feel when I look at the morning surf and I can't wait to get out and immerse myself in that beautiful gorgeous cool blue Pacific saltwater!!

Think about the things you've done in your life, incidents in which you should have taken one path, but instead chose another. Consider mistakes you've made, and how they've affected not only you, but other people.

of course, I have affected others so deeply both good and bad..., the butterfly effect of my actions affects everyone and causes little ripples that could go on to create negative or positive tsunamis..(like discovering your Parthenon and rediscovering it almost half a century later as Rip Vanbeachbum and all the other people that "discovered" that little spot of beach between dudley and ocean streets)

Think about the consequences of these actions. Did you learn anything from these events?

Sunday, August 08, 2010

wow...the escaped convicts have just reached Santa Rosa NM, the town of my colleague and good friend, E, from the days we worked on the REZ , when we helped the special needs of those darling native kids.. congrats on finally getting your Spanish teaching job, compadre!
dont open up your doors to strangers, Amigo!

How can I be a peaceful warrior?

I felt like my last post sounded a little negative.. I love my brother but I am still a little angry and it was my choice to stay on the beach... sad that I had to pay him off when real estate on the beach and most places was the highest... so I want to include an excerpt and I have talked previously about being the peaceful warrior... (from the prosperity blog)
"Welcoming Your Inner Warrior:
Sit before your altar, and light the purple candle. Focus on the flame, and visualize the fiery passion of the warrior soul. Think about the things you've done in your life, incidents in which you should have taken one path, but instead chose another. Consider mistakes you've made, and how they've affected not only you, but other people. Think about the consequences of these actions. Did you learn anything from these events?
i KNOW that I have made so many mistakesand very poor choices in my life..I have had to pay for them dearly but hopefully I will finally learn and not make the same mistakes..
Take this knowledge of past action, and move it into the present. As a warrior, you have followed a particular path to get to the present, one with many roadblocks, twists, and obstacles in the way. How has this helped to shape the person you are now? Think about the person you have become, and how you have grown during the different experiences you've had.
knowing that life is so short, you obviously know that the beach is my dream and for our Colin to continue this dream ...
Now, think about the person you wish to be, and how the past and present will influence the future. Understand that for you to follow a principle of right action, there may be times when you make decisions that are unpopular. Are you willing to stand up for your convictions? Are you willing to live in a manner that will earn you the respect and honor of others? To do this, you must first and foremost honor and respect yourself. One way to live rightly and with honor is to make a pledge, both to yourself and to the gods of your tradition. "
just maybe it can happen!!

Happy Birthday, Ron! I'm kinda reluctant to talk to my older brother...and haven't even talked to him about the tenants almost burning down my Okie home without even an apology..

the last thing the matriarch of that angry family said to me was:

"You'll get your money dude!... "
when the fat lady sings and the waters rise to the Okie Zone!!
they paid only for a couple of months that whole year! amazed at why I didnt evict them...running a non profit charity house for them to burn down!! does that make me angry or do I become a peaceful warrior and make myself a better person?? (Now is the time for an excerpt from Kipling)If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, (that's the big one in my life)
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

(well, I at least fixed up my home and certainly paid the price)

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

I have been getting the lecture about insurance from others so I certainly don't want to get it from my brother, but I need to call him for his birthday...He's a rich banking Republican who wouldn't even give me a loan if I asked for it...
most of the inheritance was used to pay him off...
If I ask for a loan, he'll tell me to get a job, but then if I work here I would have pay what I make in Queensland Land taxes!

others resent me for just taking the time off to enjoy my new little family and be a father..
and when I'm 65 , I might be too old to enjoy life...
do I need to justify my behavior??
I wanted to put a few words in here while I sit here broken hearted
tried to poop and only farted...just kidding..
it is a nice cool little place where Im not disturbed too much!
so Ill put it in the daily Om for Saturday..
about convictions!

August 7, 2010
Conviction with Grace
Sagittarius Daily Horoscope
You may doubt your abilities when it comes to discussing ideas or trying to negotiate a compromise in business or in a personal relationship today. If so, feelings of inadequacy may be standing as a block to your progress.

Perhaps you find yourself stopping short of fully disclosing your thoughts or feelings to another person. Maybe you are worried that what you have to say doesn’t carry enough weight. It may help you to believe in the strength of your own convictions today.

You could consider reflecting on what you wish to communicate. If you can come to a complete and honest understanding of your ideas or your position, you may find yourself better equipped to share you thoughts with others.

This is what I believe is probably the most important to our family's well being.. we are so blessed with Colin and yet the hardest challenge is for others to understand my postion/?dream .. of bringing up a little family on the beach... where eventually my ideas will be shared with others who want similar dreams ..

When we are clear about the power of our convictions, we can express ourselves and our ideas with dignity and self-assurance
The sum of our knowledge and life experiences is the foundation for our beliefs and the choices we make.

so many disasters have come and gone in my life...all I know is that I keep getting back up in the morning and just try harder...and evolve into the person that I will be happy with..the hardest challenge is to do it sometimes without the support of my wife who I need so badly in this endeavor..

The positions we take and the ideas we have as a result of this are valid, important, and worth communicating. When we recognize this truth, our conviction springs forth and carries with it our well-spoken feelings and ideas. Put the power of your convictions behind the thoughts you express today, and you will communicate with grace and confidence.

I look into the way Colin hugs my leg and then brings Mommy's leg over to min and we are all hugging...I know that i have helped her but it has been such a challenge to help her understand how hard I have worked on helping her.. I sometimes have the confidence that she will eventually come over to our side...she wants so much for Colin to do well...

I am excited everytime, I see Colin grow...and see new daily discoveries of the way things work and the way he reacts to them!
ps: this is my son and me very tired in the New Zealand airport!

Saturday, August 07, 2010

I wanted to put a few words in here while I sit here broken hearted
tried to poop and only farted...just kidding..
it is a nice cool little place where Im not disturbed!
so Ill put it in the daily Om for Saturday..
about convictions!

August 7, 2010
Conviction with Grace
Sagittarius Daily Horoscope
You may doubt your abilities when it comes to discussing ideas or trying to negotiate a compromise in business or in a personal relationship today. If so, feelings of inadequacy may be standing as a block to your progress. Perhaps you find yourself stopping short of fully disclosing your thoughts or feelings to another person. Maybe you are worried that what you have to say doesn’t carry enough weight. It may help you to believe in the strength of your own convictions today. You could consider reflecting on what you wish to communicate. If you can come to a complete and honest understanding of your ideas or your position, you may find yourself better equipped to share you thoughts with others.

When we are clear about the power of our convictions, we can express ourselves and our ideas with dignity and self-assurance. The sum of our knowledge and life experiences is the foundation for our beliefs and the choices we make. The positions we take and the ideas we have as a result of this are valid, important, and worth communicating. When we recognize this truth, our conviction springs forth and carries with it our well-spoken feelings and ideas. Put the power of your convictions behind the thoughts you express today, and you will communicate with grace and confidence.

ok...it was really cemented home how add has affected my relationships and it's the same reason for both us having so much difficulty...
but then Colin is focused..
kinda like Forrest Gump's son
if we understand it, realize we are not alone
and follow a plan for a solution...
it will be our pursuit of happiness!!
I was feeling down and then I thought for my honey Ill look marriage wreck
and guess what I found??
"Adhd can wreck a relationship"
so well get the book and follow it
Better than any marriage counselor!

ADHD is an attention disorder that can usually be controlled by improving the connections between synaptic receptors in the brain that process information. In adult ADHD, the chemical balances that regulate such transmissions is disrupted, and thus the connections, causing loss of the ability to focus, remain committed to activities, or to generally stay motivated. Small doses of prescription medication has shown to improve the connection in the synaptic chain, allowing better processing of information and hormone responses that control these brain-behavioral functions.
ok..so today, I took half a dexamphetamine and went ahead and finally got the Arkansas drivers license by passing the test, calling New Mexico to pay them a 100$ reinstatement fee... and then just overcoming the negativity and worry that I would pass!!
ADHD is often diagnosed in adults as they are no longer in the educational system, and the inability to remain on task or keep thoughts in focus is not paid attention to in the same manner. While the child in school might get a referral to the school medical clinic for testing, the adult is usually offered no more than the threat of lost employment or discriminatory behavior as they are seen as lazy or unintelligent.

This same stigma is also a contributing factor in adults not seeking medical treatment for adult ADHD, especially amongst men. The need to seek medical treatment for ADHD is urgent as well as extremely beneficial for the adult who exhibits ADHD symptoms. The difference that proper diagnosis and treatment of ADHD can make in an adults life can be dramatic. Even small imbalances in hormone levels and chemical reactions can have profound effects on the mind and body. Sometimes the mental clarity and ability to focus can be greatly benefitted by better diet and medication without the need for any further medical intervention, though some sort of psychological counseling is usually recommended to deal with the emotional changes that can sometimes come with coping with ADHD or as side effects of medication.

Far from being something to be ashamed of, getting treatment for your adult ADHD can be the best thing that you can do to for your own health and the health of your family. Like other mental and physical health issues, the patient is usually one in a host of people affected, and ADHD is no different.


Friday, August 06, 2010

I guess when I get down and just feel overwhelmed with the petty shit, I like to post pics of the beach... here, two mates are holding my Colin...One of the blokes is a professional life guard and has become a mentor to me in this way of life that could be ours... wif a little bit of bloomin luck... and prayer! Please Lord, help our family have a great life on the beach! There I did it!
This is a prayer for a hopeful agnostic who accepts that the spirits may still be with him!

I sure will feel a lot better when I get a fix of the beach and getting back to this healthy environment for our family!

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

i've finally got a chance to write to you in more depth... about the road trip or I may give out to much... that's the thing about this blog.. sometimes , I just wanta let it all out, like "True Confessions" and tell you about the most depressing things to hopefully more of the most wonderful things that truly elate me...(and then I chicken out worried about who my eventual readers will be??)
I was finally able to see Buffy the Wonder Dog, under the wonderful home of LA and her family...the joy of seeing Buffy able to play again and be happy to see me...
I thought of bringing her back to the foothills of the Ozarks and as usual get in trouble with her neighbors and then taking her to see Charles... but the worry of her not coming back when she's supposed to (she took off when I visited LA but then when I went inside my infinity she wanted to join me and get her body squeezed into the little area of the back of car. I wanted to go with her just then but then I did not want LA and her kids to be sad when she wasn't there... the whole family has really fallen in love with them and she's so at home there)
oh well the ac bloke is here for the inlaws house so I gotta go...
maybe not!!... a few more moments of peace before the inlaws get back. Popaw (colin affectionately calls him) is getting tooth taken care of so it's really peaceful... and it's kinda nice having kinda coool moments before the onlaught of this avo's sun (avo=afternoon in Oz)..
and kinda enjoy the momentary time to relax before the welcome is over with again??
and repeat another lap??... this time into the m0untains with the wonder dog?? will the Infinity take it? gotta take her to a mechanic for a full check up!! I hope it's not the other set of tie rods??

but it's been a really peaceful morning without the rugrats running around! (only my rugrat)which of course , gives me chance to reflect...I noticed that Ive gained already 5 lbs ... even on a road trip where I dont have late night feedings!... I have to make sure to really work out hard this morning after I play with my favorite litte boy!
well it feels like the AC is working and I'll be looking forward to visiting my newly fixed home with insurance! (it's a long deserved birthday present after the trauma of the last tenants burning it down!) No more not for profit charity homes! I don't like to think of the agravations that I went through and I don't want to head into anymore...

Monday, August 02, 2010

this is a pic of the little sidelawn where our backyard stairway is..(space is a premium on the beach!)
a good mate takes care of the place and keeps an eye on it from the units across Hedges!
Ive gained already about 5 pounds just from not exercising and eating restaurant food... Ihops doesnt help!

Colin and my better half have just walked down the stairs and are heading my way...
I love my family so much!...
it's a hard job taking care of them!
ok.. I was in the middle of the road trip when I had little time to put a pic, but I thought of Colin's charm with the other girls.. here is one of Colin's many beach girlfriends!

Im having a chance to reflect on the road trip and ask myself what did I accomplish among the herbal epiphanies?? I like to look at life in the positive.. gotta go...colin is falling asleep in my arms while I type!
I love him so much!