Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea
Her beauty and her terror—
The wide brown land for me

yep.... this is where it's at.... Michael Jackson died of heart failure at 50...a few years younger than me... I need to enjoy it... while I'm here and still not too old!!

love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea
Her beauty and her terror—
The wide brown land for me
love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea
Her beauty and her terror—
The wide brown land for me

Monday, June 29, 2009

I know that I get into these shades of limbo...
same ole shit...
cept Im spending $45 a day, because of my laziness and inability to take care of business
staying at a little town (I cant say the town since crazy lady has threatened to send her hitman dad after me).... her whole family is crazy ...
so I actually believe that she and her criminal father are nuts enough to put a contract on me...
for what??
I made the mistake of visiting her once thinking for some crazy reason that we had a child together..
she refused to talk to me ...
I have never seen a woman turn so nasty with time...
she was an angel...
shows what bartendressing can do for a woman...
I believe it often turns women into raging hostile monsters!
Everything seemed cool when my family escaped to Oz,
but then I made the mistake of looking her up on twitter..
this made her nuts and decided to sick her whole family on me (she does a wonderful job of manipulating her friends and family) she has hacked into my email and (talk about stalking mentality) found the emails of my extended Australian family and sent them lies....
I might post these emails to show the extent of the craziness
she even has a crazy person's blog

I am showing how a pretty woman can turn into a monster with age....
Nurse ratched kinda looks like her mommy dearest...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I dunno why Im writing...looking for myreading glasses...since laser surger several years ago, I cant see as well close up..
but now I can see far away but better with glasses...so they didnt make the eyes perfect for either way...
I wonder if I should have just had one eye done...
and then a pair of glasses for driving...
hmmm, oh well...
then I blog out of my hypochondria for floaters in my eye...
is it old age or the bump on the head while body surfing..
ok...Im gonna see if this gets published...and then Ill try one more time to reach LA!!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I might as well write a post...while listening to songs in this little town on top of the world...
I guess, it's not getting published for now...
so I've had to resort to twitter to get my thoughts.... good/evil ...out there
while I could be the potential victim of a hitman,
the father of a witch I once dated??
does curiosity kill??
just wanting to know whats up with 1 of my many exes....
unfortunately, there could be COSA NOSTRA connections!!

Monday, June 22, 2009

I guess I have to be careful about what pictures I put on the net...
some crazy person has put my picture on the net
with her hitman daddy coming after me...
did i say something wrong...
amazing how some folks are sensitive to being greeted on twitter...
nothing worse than a woman scorned..
oh well
pax ubiscum

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fantastic!! I made it to the Hostel...
Pancho is the caretaker of the nice warm place...it is the warmest spot in this high altitude village in the Rockies....
it is a such a strong difference to this town and Utopachi... a renamed village in the high desert (about 6500 feet) nestled next to Narbonne mountains...
I've had some nice comments from some of my animated readers..
I checked out twitter and sometimes some folks don't want you to read their daily sentences on twitter......
twitter is a government changing process, however, with the bloke that was running for president was ripped off in the election...
kinda the way , Gore was rightfully elected with the most popular vote...but that doesn't matter in our potential Banana Republic!!

wow...that's a coctail of ADD and herb...I even tried some addaboy today ...but that increases my blood pressure....it was up to 150/90's....yesterday without the coffee...it was as low as 110/70's!! I had no coffee yesterday

Thursday, June 18, 2009

It was great to see Eliazar and Monica!!
That is the wonderful thing about friends!!
It was great to see the continuing saga go on here in Utopachi!!

June 18, 2009 Like Rasputin, the unhinged "Mad Monk" whom they sometimes seem to have adopted as an intellectual role model, the neoconservatives who brought us the Iraq war refuse to die. Although they have been figuratively stabbed, poisoned, shot, garroted and drowned, they somehow keep standing, still insisting that history will vindicate George W. Bush's glorious crusade. In a world governed by the Victorian moral code conservatives claim to uphold, they would be shunned, shamed and forbidden to appear on television or write Op-Ed columns. But because Beltway decorum apparently requires that disgraced pundits be given a permanent platform to bray their discredited theories, the rest of us are condemned to listen to their ravings.

What caused the neocons and their fellow travelers on the right to sit up in their coffins this time is the almost certainly rigged Iran election and the massive unrest that has roiled the country in its aftermath. Outraged that Obama has not behaved like their hero Bush and begun loudly rattling his saber, the neocons have denounced him as -- you guessed it -- an appeaser. In a piece titled "Obama's Iran Abdication," the Wall Street Journal's editorial page, that bastion of unreconstructed neocon lunacy, attacked Obama for not supporting the Iranian protesters more vigorously and derided his "now-familiar moral equivalence" in citing the 1953 CIA-backed coup that toppled Iranian leader Mohammad Mossadegh. In an Op-Ed two days earlier, the paper's Visigothic editors, who have been calling for the U.S. to bomb Iran for years, took the opportunity to climb into the Wayback Machine to pay homage to one of George W. Bush's greatest hits. "It turns out that the 'axis of evil' really is evil -- and not, as liberal sages would have it, merely misunderstood," sneered the editors, suggesting that the crackdown should make Obama rethink trying to strike a grand nuclear bargain with Iran.

In his own attack on Obama, Sen. John McCain also rushed to resurrect Bush's Axis of Evil line, saying, "Look, these people are bad people and I know that it was unpopular to call them part of an axis of evil or whatever it was, but we just showed again that an oppressive regime will not allow democratic elections, free and democratic elections."

Neocon stalwart Danielle Pletka also made a not-so-subtle attempt to use the turmoil in Iran to justify Bush's invasion of Iraq. In a piece in the New York Times, she and fellow American Enterprise Institute pundit Ali Alfoneh wrote, "Encircled by American forces in Iraq and Afghanistan, besieged from within by disgruntled citizens, the supreme leader has turned to a bellicose strongman to preserve the system that elevated him." Earth to Pletka: George W. Bush is not president anymore, and even if he still was, the U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are not going to attack Iran. It would be more accurate to say that the soon-to-depart U.S. troops in Iraq are encircled by Iranian forces than the other way around.

The nadir of neocon idiocy, however, may be a piece by Robert Kagan that appeared in Wednesday's Washington Post. Titled "Obama, Siding With the Regime," it argues that because Obama wants to begin negotiations with Iran as soon as possible and does not want to appear "hostile to the regime," his "goal must be to deflate the opposition, not to encourage it." In other words, Kagan is saying that Obama would prefer to rush into a deal with a repressive, anti-Western Iranian regime than do what he is in fact doing, which is to recognize that U.S. meddling is counterproductive and wait and see what government emerges from Iran's current turmoil. That Kagan adduces no evidence for his bizarre assertion is hardly surprising, because there is none. Kagan's real purpose is to smear Obama as a craven appeaser, and the only way he can do that is to paint a ludicrously crude caricature of Obama and the foreign-policy realism he has embraced.

That these neoconservative pundits have the gall to talk about Iran at all, let alone pose as defenders of the Iranian people, would be stunning if it were not so familiar. For it was their own policies that were largely responsible for the rise of the hard-liners in Iran. As Islam expert Malise Ruthven notes in an essay on Iran in the current New York Review of Books, "external factors, driven by U.S. policies, were decisive" in thwarting Iran's nascent democratic movement. And of those U.S. actions, none was more consequential than the very "axis of evil" statement that the neocons are now tumbling over each other to glorify.

"George W. Bush's notorious 'axis of evil' speech in January 2002, linking Iran to its enemy Iraq and the maverick Communist republic of North Korea, undermined many of Khatami's achievements in improving Iran's international profile, and convinced the hard-liners that the Islamic Republic would become the next target in Bush's 'war on terror,'" Ruthven writes. "The build-up to the U.S. invasion of Iraq provided them with strong public support. In the local council elections of February 2003 -- one month before the invasion -- conservatives regained nearly all the seats they had lost in 1999 at the peak of the reformist movement. This was not a rigged poll: for unlike the parliamentary and presidential races, candidates for municipal elections are not vetted for 'Islamic suitability.' The right-wing victory was sealed two years later with Ahmadinejad's election as president."

In short, the very rhetoric the neocons are now demanding that Obama use backfired disastrously when Bush used it -- which is precisely why Obama has avoided repeating it. And, of course, the entire Iraq war greatly empowered Iran by removing its greatest enemy, Saddam Hussein, and shifting power to Iran's coreligionist Shiites.

One of the things the neocons would like the rest of us to forget is that they were the most ardent proponents of invading the very country whose people they now piously claim to support. Back in the heady "Mission Accomplished" days, the neocon slogan was "Wimps go to Baghdad -- real men go to Tehran." Leaving aside the fact that the neocons were a bunch of paper-pushing pundits ensconced in comfy right-wing think tanks who never "went" anywhere that didn't have room service, the point is that they have been burning to attack Iran for years -- an attack that would inevitably result in the slaughter of tens or hundreds of thousands of Iranians. Yes, some of them claimed that invading Iran would be a cakewalk, that the long-suffering Iranian people would welcome Americans as liberators, and so on. (Some of them even managed to keep a straight face while saying this.) And if you believe them, there's a bridge in Fallujah I'd like to sell you.."
Chatting with Mark, the bartender and senior at Ft. Lewis, working at the Strather Hotel est. 1887


G goes on the elevator that is still the same one since Otis invented them around the turn of the last century....he goes downstairs and then back

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I sometimes go through ups and downs too...
so does everybody./..
just some more than others..
whenever I suggest meds...
defensively my beautiful half says
"YOu need to see a psychologist!"

I am happy she is happier now with her family...
I probably won't be posting for a while to pick up my Dad's old infinity..
and drive it back to hillbilly country...take care of business in the okie zone and maybe pick up some paintings..
Life can be positive!!



Saturday, June 13, 2009


I learned some pretty hard lessons in life...
I could easily get down on myself, which I did this rainy afternoon...two weeks after arriving in this country...settling down into just bumming in the hills of the Ozarks...'
I was boo hooing into a hypoglygemic depressed state...I was in the Niagra falls of self pity..
her son must think I am totally goofy...
You wouldn't believe my stash ws picked out of my pocket and he took it with him to the cot...
and it was all over the bed..
the whole family heard...
I am too embarassed to even talk about it on this blog...but fuck it..Im not gonna teach this year and no employers would look at this...only maybe relatives ...who Im too embarassed for them to see my innermost secrets on this blog...
my inlaws would probably freak...but the Dad shows the herb but still wants to hide it from his son...
it sounds so familiar ...
closet cannabis smokers passing judgement on others...when they know it's safer that cigarettes and alcohol...
well I cleaned it out of the cot...but not after my brother in law pointed it out to the whole family..
It reminds me of another episode when a gf's daughter found my large stash hidden with the recently developed walgreen photos...
I stupidly left that in the lavoratory for her and her teenage friend to smoke at kiddy parties...amazing...
how embarassing...
this is why I just wanna be incognito away from others ...
but there has to be a place..outside of Nimbin New South Wales...where closet cannbis youths and grownups don't pass judgment...
yep my step-dad is a stoner...
oh well

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Some days, I really feel there is light at the end of the tunnel...

Especially when I see the light in my son's eyes...


especially when he looks at me...all the relatives in America love him...
I smile at him and he giggle with glee when he smiles at me..


when I speak and he listens to every word...never has someone listened so intently to what I often think are boring words...
he loves me...
I am so lucky!!


I want to spend my life being with him as a father.... I want to live his world and help him enjoy what is out there...


Carpe Diem, Colin Murray!

=

Saturday, June 06, 2009

I'm gonna pray to the universe that my laptop will working before I take my next walkabout!!

I suppose there is a down side to the verbal aspects of cannabizing...
the way I communicate might be hampered in one aspect of the relationship...
I just want someone to listen to me...
Maybe that's one of the biggest reasons for relationships to end...
It saddens me all the heartbreak in discovering myself...
the ADD mixed w/bipolar love...
she loves me.
she love me not..
I love her
I love her not..

Sometimes, while a little delusional, I could see how happy I could be...
"ou gotta love the one your with"..
but many times, I think that this is just too much possible BALL AND CHAIN LOVE THAT ANY SINGLE NON COMMITAL BACHELOR could tolerate??

It was nice of my new dad to able to help connect with some of the local family's homegrown veggies...
nothing like greens in the south to lift up your spirits...
and motivate my writing hoping that the regulars from Brisbane, Indepence Missouri and some of the other little towns that were my haunts of bachelorhood...
sometimes, I think that I'm missing the connections and parties that I would love to create and invite...\
these are parties in time with lost friends that will never have that chance again...
I love to be around folks that are openminded to have civil discourse...
how many multiple moods in an hour do I have to experience with women that I am in love with??
how can you talk to her without her exploding..
why do I bring out the best in women??
"It's not the ADD or my own hypoglycemia>>.
It's you!!
now pass the mashed potatoes and gravy.. before I bite your head off!"
as a praying mantis would after making love to her victim...
knowing that he would be food the loving couple's children...

I'm almost even more bummed out that my puter that I lugged over from Oz is on the blink...
How do I clean it all out??
an anti virus has invaded ( I guess..but I don't know??)
It's almost that I would give so much just to have a clean computer again...
everthing gets outdated as soon as I get...
this laptop has probably worn out it's warranty??
for some reason this pet puter needs a throughough antivirus shampoo...

speaking of pets, I need to put in a pic of my dog, Buffy...
My wonderful in-laws have taken such fantastic care of her...
thanks Joe!
Thank you, Diane, for taking care of everything else...
my honey's jeep is working still and it looks good..
but sounds a little shakey??
from some of the rough back wood roads of the Ozark hills??

so where am I going with all of this??
I dunno??
I just wish that I could have a party with all of ex's invited...
(and it really pisses me off again that Mathew Mcdorkle is again in one of the type movies that I had already envisioned the screenplay of...the other play I want to write is about Mermaid Beach and the whole surfing crowd, that I eventually want to fully dive back into their culture..I suppose that it would be a lot easier to do that without my better half...but who knows...If it comes hell and high water, I need to be back there next month!!)
I can maybe just be there for a month and then have Angela and the bub come out?? ...so many things to do and yet there's so little time in this life....to enjoy as much of life's gusto as we possibly can!!)

but seriously, ladies, germs, and mates, who ever drops by for a little chat with come over and enjoy a bowl at my humble abode, adobe beach shack...
(no it's really a tiny two bedroom apartment with the most gorgeous view that I've ever had to live with for an extended period of time...Dad was so lucky, but he knew how time was flying by in an even more accelerated fashion meet his maker )
well , tonite, forgive my ramblings...
if ever I find focus in life or at least someone contracting me to write out a script...
to include her own crazy person's blog..

I'm really bummed out about a lot of things,
but just mainly overwhelmed...
addaboy sure helps us....

so maybe I will go walkabout in the next few days while I pick up the Infinity (if it still works)...well at least the car seems to be a lot more faithful than most of the past ex's that I dated since driving that "luxury " car...
through happy towns'
some sad towns...
mainly just angry places...
where I don't feel comfortable to ever to habitate there...
mostly angry towns...
sometimes I just wanna say "fuck it" as gracefully as I can to the angry world... but then...

sometimes the gift of a little mojo magic
is the best spice for a relationship...
add it to your meal...
and it might not tempt you into tasting the most delicious moments...
Thanks...

What if God really loves Cannabis.....
It can really change your view of the world...
instead of just turning your ass to the world,

What if God told everyone (maybe just in their dreams) that it's the herb of peace,
love and visions of a utopian ever after???

folks in power could have the most wonderfully beautiful and sometime erotic dreams... and maybe they could solve world peace, hunger, greed, etc... yep if we all just could grow a little...
couldn't people be happier and less angry??

just when I was thinking there was very little chance.... along comes a little magic!!

waddya think??
Isn't a picture sometimes worth at least a thousand words??

I loved these images what mother nature can do to a beach...the fence was gonna go the next evening...'
I wish that I had seen the huge waves take away the fence to our backyard vegetation!!

Ill put in some pics of the cliff created by the storm Saturday evening, during high tide...




Maybe my wife will change her mind...maybe a little of the love machine might convince her how rough it might be without a little of the magic mojo I still have!!....;)

roll your eyes...

Friday, June 05, 2009


We stayed at a beautiful little motel...
with our baby, I had to wake up early so I decided to check out the sun come up over the mountains very early in the morning...
Mt. Warning is on the left...It is the caldera of a very ancient caldera when Australia was part of the mass continet...
I took this sequence of photos...
It would be wonderful to live out here...
The place had a beautiful home for sale with verandas surrounding the house...
There is a beautiful outside dining area with this gorgeous view..

Thursday, June 04, 2009




I feel when my sweetheart and I get it together, we will be able to enjoy life even more...
we will get the right help and the right meds for our minds to process more efficiently..
we will be more relaxed and get into the joie de vivre!!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009





I will add some more pics of our trip soon...
This was the beautiful tent we stayed in the Nimbin Youth hostel...
It had a fantastic view...

Tuesday, June 02, 2009


Again I'm at a crossroads in my life...
I have to make some big decisions now about me and our family...
I have to think what is best for the family but still be able to enjoy life while Im still young at heart

Monday, June 01, 2009


"Taking a Time OutYou Are Not Crazy
Most of us feel a little crazy from time to time. Periods of high stress can make us feel like we’re losing it, as can being surrounded by people whose values are very different from our own. Losing a significant relationship and moving into a new life situation are other events that can cause us to feel off kilter. Circumstances like these recur in our lives, and they naturally affect our mental stability. The symptoms of our state of mind can range from having no recollection of putting our car keys where we eventually find them, to wondering if we’re seeing things clearly when everyone around us seems to be in denial of what’s going on right in front of their eyes. For most of us, the key to survival at times like these is to step back, take a deep breath, and regain our composure. Then we can decide what course of action to take. Sometimes a time-out does the trick. We take a day off from whatever is making us feel crazy and, like magic, we feel in our right mind again. Talking to an objective friend can also help. We begin to see what it is about the situation that destabilizes us, and we can make changes from there. At other times, if the situation is particularly sticky, we may need to seek professional help. Meeting with someone who understands the way the human mind reacts to stress, loss, and difficulty can make us feel less alone and more supported. A therapist or a spiritual counselor can give us techniques that help bring us back to a sane state of mind so that we can affect useful changes. They can also mirror our basic goodness, helping us to see that we are actually okay. The main purpose of the wake-up call that feeling crazy provides is to let us know that something in our lives is out of balance. Confirm for yourself that you are capable of creating a sane and peaceful reality for yourself. Try to remember that most people have felt, at one time or another, that they are losing it. You deserve a life that helps you thrive. Try and take some steps today to help you achieve more balance and a little less crazy.
from the Daily OM
It's nice to go from winter to summer and see it light out till late at night again... we have alot of issues to take care of but sometimes I think there is light at the end of the tunnel...
It's gorgeous here in the foothills of the Ozarks!

Well I decided to try a new theme for this blog… Sometimes I’m amazed at all the posts that I’ve written over the years and comes up 2000s...