Monday, June 30, 2008

It is cool to relax...my angel's dad has this beautiful backyard in this rural area
I couldn't have thought of a more beautiful place to have our hochzeit!!
I'm so glad we filmed it...
Of course to add to the magic of the procession, Buffy almost synchronistically led the procession...totally unplanned!
We are a thousand miles from the native community of my work...
Now we are venture bound to have the satisfaction of having a child...
Our biggest obstacle is finding someone to take over the payments???
How can we set up an ad on the computer??

Maybe her Dad can help sell it...while I make the payments??...or stop the insurance while I make the first payment for him?? He could put the car on his insurance ??
Then we need to make sure that we can put all of our shit into Tollie's house...

Sunday, June 29, 2008

It is so cool to relax with my new family, my angel's family ... to just chill before we go off to OZ!My new nephew and I are watching "Dancing with Wolves"
It is nice to see this movie from a different perspective, in a mostly Anglo rural area with a Chicken plant to hire cheap labor (mostly hispanic)...
My angel is safe and comfortable...she wants to relax for a couple weeks...that will be nice!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I almost feel like writing a letter of apology to all my ex’s or at least a request to accept me for my ADD!

"I understand the challenges of living with and loving someone with ADD on a personal and professional level. Although I know, without a doubt, that attention deficit disorder is a neurochemical disorder and nobody's fault, I also know that you may feel stressed, frustrated, angry, hurt, and confused. There are lots of resources out there for people with ADD, but few for their spouses and partners. And you also deserve support. The fact that my subscriber list is growing by leaps and bounds shows that help for non-ADD partners is sorely needed. I hope this newsletter helps you feel less alone and gives you some new ideas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~You've probably already does this, but I'd like to encourage you to keep reading and researching about ADD until you truly understand (and believe) that it's a real neurochemical disorder. This is so important because otherwise it makes sense to think that your partner doesn't care, or is doing things that are so hard to live with on purpose. In almost all the couples I work with, the non-ADD partner has such a hard time with this. The executive deficits caused by ADD mean that your partner probably looks at life, priorities, and even the concept of time in a very different way. And it also means that certain things like boring or detail oriented tasks, finishing something in a timely manner (dishes, laundry), seeing things that should be picked up (dirty dishes, clothes), etc - are really difficult for him or her. Because those things may be second nature to you, it's hard to believe they're such a challenge for someone else. Especially, if that someone else has a high IQ, seems to remembers sometimes, and makes the same mistakes over and over again. The benefits of realizing those behaviors are symptoms of a real disorder are for you. Believing that your partner isn't trying to hurt or disappoint you, will bring you less pain. I know it's not going to change daily life if you're the one who does everything around the house and reminds your partner constantly of things that need to be done, but it may make a difference for you emotionally. And protecting your heart (without closing it) is a huge part of living successfully with a partner who has ADD.
Of course it also helps if your partner understands everything he/she can about ADD and how to manage the symptoms. If someone has ADD and has been doing or not doing things a certain way for many years, it's near to impossible to change without guidance and support. And your partner may never have learned how to plan or organize so responsibilities get met. Coaching can teach people how to remember what they are supposed to be doing, follow through on the things they start, learn how to manage time better, etc. It can also help people develop better communication skills so the relationship is enhanced for both members. For information about how I work with individuals and couples, go to addfamilycoaching.com and click on the appropriate links on the sidebar.
Self-Care Tip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Because living with a partner who has ADD can be incredibly stressful, it's crucial that you take care of yourself. Sometimes there's not much you can do to change your partner, but it is possible to change yourself a little and how you react to the stress. There are many levels to this, but I'm going to focus on something you can start doing right now. Can you develop a healthy practice? Habit is another word, but I like practice better because it implies that the more you do, the better you'll be. And that's the point! Try to think of something you can do on a consistent basis (daily, weekly, bi- weekly), write up a contract with yourself, and stick to it. It could be anything from meeting a supportive friend for lunch once a week, to taking a quick walk every day, to practicing a martial art. But it has to involve carving out a consistent piece of time just for you - for the sole purpose of keeping and enhancing your mental and physical health.
If you'd like some ideas and motivation for taking care of yourself, download my audio - Help!! My Partner Has ADD! Towards the end of the talk, I lead you through a process of developing your own Self- Care Plan. Listen to this audio as a gift for you. There are probably lots of people depending on you - so don't get burned out. If you don't take care of yourself, who will?
I almost feel like writing a letter of apology to all my ex’s or at least a request to accept me for my ADD!
It is so funny when I have a little buzz of aussie beer and a little plant…hmmmm….everything is so funny…
We are out here alone in the Rez while we are getting all of our crap together…I’m cleaning out the garage and then going through the essential papers , versus any sane person would throw the piece of shit!, and then the stuff that I have put into the category of past shit??
So I have to discipline to chat with you…even when I am a little too herbalized on our holiday of prograstination…
We are getting out of here regardless..we will take the essentials that we can from here…

Saturday, June 21, 2008

havent written in about a week...it's nice to recuperate even if we have to live next to Koreshhka!!
Im ready to head to hill billy country..It's too hard to take everything with me..

ok a day lata...a little herbalized taking it easy in Utopachi...camping out for the last few days in this village...will I say goodbye , adieu, see ya lata??, or auf wieder sehen...see you again???

when you are young...you can be a player (one that wants to just play,not the present day defintion according the hip hop lingo>...
(that was a thought I had while watching L'auberge Espana...)

19 June 2002 (France) more view trailer
Genre:Comedy Romance Drama more
Tagline:They came from Paris, Rome, London and Berlin to... l'Auberge Espagnole ...where a year can change a lifetime. more
Plot:A straight laced French student moves into an apartment in Barcelona with a cast of six other characters from all over Europe. Together, they speak the international language of love and friendship. full summary add synopsis
Plot Keywords:Bed Lesbianism Undressing Scene Teenage Boy Nudity more
Awards:8 wins & 8 nominations more

Now I'm realizing how much I have to figure out who I am...
what role do I play??
...when will I seek the confidence to know that I can take care of business as a good father would??...
How will my life change after becoming a father??
almost getting a pep talk from a neighbor in our secret herbal society saying that I shouldn’t let my very showing wife campout... ( That reminds me about how we need to buy a really good air mattress!! Will Buffy claw some more holes in the new mattress after fighting off the skunks and cougars while we survive in the American wilderness?? ;)
"I feel that I've been doing a very good job as an expectant father with the most freedom from bills and financial responsibility while we can concentrate on our greatest responsibility, our love child on the beach..." I reply indignantly!

Now my biggest job is getting ourselves safely to Oz
"You haven’t even bought your tickets?? from the nosy overly protective neighbor??

June 22nd...2008 continued 336 pm...
a beautiful day...I’m more content this weekend before I visit the principal and talk about the future of this community....

Oh boy!! so many things I have to do...and to ask for Angel's help in letting someone else take over the bank note...will they have a commitment to continue making the payments..
just relaxing...chilling... attempting to take a perspective on life while I watch these movies in Spain and OZ!!

nursing the last half of the beer...while rice and beans warm ont the stove for my love and me...what kind of stew can I cook to please her??
(lata..it really hit the spot with her really pigging out on my stew...Buffy cleaned the pot!!)
...
it will take us at least a couple more days before we can decide what to pack in our two autos...and will Buffy accompany me or my angel??
in the next two days, I have to write to the Aussie embassy about taking a 6 month visa, reserving flights and deciding what I need to take out of this flat?? HAVE A BON VOYAGE PARTY AND CUL DE SAC SALE… GETTING RID OF FURNITURE, TV , ETCETERA…..
June 22, 2008, 10:46 PM
It is such a cool feeling of summer when it’s very hot…it is cool “surviving” in the high desert..
The temperature is cooling down as the outside air from night goes through our flat…
My love is relaxed in knowing we will depart Wednesday…
We will just take the main things…like 3 bicycles, helmets, clothes…everything else we need to get rid of or I could hold it…finally get rid of the evidence with a mass burning of trash and the past…failures ….or when do we free ourselves from the image of being pathetic??

What is one’s definition of a loser??
When do we have fun with the limitations and the responsibilities of leading a growing family??

Monday, June 16, 2008

PROGRASTINATION
G vågner op et par gange spekulerer på, hvordan man får ud af hans normale depression, (det ondt for sig selv holdning ... følelse sorta udeladt gerne Holden Caulfied gjorde i en verden, at han følte ikke forstod ham. Han får i denne trængende tilstand af ønsket om selskabet, der har skræmt ud for mange piger efter Alene død. Han trækker op Buffy loyalt sove ved hans højre side, han trækker hende op og hun giver at sukke, at bekvemmeligheder ham til et par timers søvn. Han er lykkelig over at netop slukke radioen, der kommer på hver morgen ved halv 6 (Aussie;)

that was a little bit of an essay I had written a couple of years ago ,,,
Maybe my story has become a hit in several cities in Denmark of all places curious about "Prograstination"

Sunday, June 15, 2008


ok...it's a day later after a good long sleep..I decided to edit the story and how do I write it better with a healthy perspective of a good long sleep in our bed!! Happy Father's Day...I'm gonna be a daddy!!


What can we achieve to feel good about ourselves??
Will they be talking about me in a positive way for the positive impact that I have created in young growing minds??
I come back and the dead refrigerator that I had moved next to the garbage can
I have never seen someone get away with as much crap as you have, Koreshka!!
Even after school is over like an alpha dog you have to take one more piss to show your territory…
As is you own the village, you take one more piss by dumping the garbage refrigerator in front of my home….
More and more I see through you , Koreshka, the self professed Jedi warrior and ideas of controlling the village the way you did in Bangladesh!;;
You are an enigma, a pariah
I never met an egotist as Machiavellian and manipulative as you...
you are amazing
I am amazed more with you than any other confidence man in my life ...
this year besides you manipulating your way into having your own two classrooms, you must manipulate others such as the village landlord to believe only you should deserve two garages! One for your cheap Harley and the other for your faux hippy VW bus while your wife bears the elements to save your Steel Mambamobile..and on top of that
have the audacity to interrupt my good friend and colleague's going away party!

then after exerting myself moving the monster frig, I come back to my love laying in our tiny twin bed

She brings out the best in me..
I cuddle next to her after my angry impulsive move of the wasted ole refrigerator at midnight when the pent up anger boils over the Lama’s last straw!
That was dumped by our neighbor back to the walk in front of our temporary new home
staring right back at us

I am all pumped up and herbalized…I am ready to kick some ass!
I fall in love with her again! I grab her and hold her tight finally having even more of an epiphany she is carrying my seed...
More so, I want her to be proud of me as we both grow together
knowing the responsibility of bringing up a child in this universe
What can we achieve to feel good about ourselves??
Will they be talking about me in a positive way for the positive impact that I have created inside young growing minds??
we come back from our trek to the Rockies
and see the dead refrigerator that I had moved a week ago next to the garbage dumpster ...How would I address the pain in the ass for the last two years???

"I have never seen someone get away with as much crap as you have, Koreshka!!
Even after school is over like an alpha dog you have to take one more piss to show what you think is your territory…
As is if you own the village,
or be the Jedi mayor!!
you take one more alpha dog piss by dumping the garbage refrigerator in front of our temporary nomadic home….
More and more I see through you , Koreshka, the self professed Jedi warrior with ideas of you controlling the village the way you did in Banglasesh!;;
You are an enigma, a pariah
I never met an egotist as Machiavellian and manipulative as you...
you are amazing
I am amazed more with you than any other confidence man in my life ...
this year besides you manipulating your way into having your own two classrooms, you must manipulate others such as the village landlord to believe only you are entitled to deserve two garages!!
One for your cheap harley and the other for your faux hippy VW bus while your wife bears the elements to save your Steel Mambamobile..and on top of that
on top of that,
earlier in the week you had the audacity to interupt my good friend and colleague's going away party!
I am all pumped up and herbalized…I am ready to kick some ass!

then after exerting myself moving that monster frig... I take out all my energy and angst over the last two years of bullshit from this man out on moving that large cooler
then
I come back to my love laying in our tiny twin bed

She brings out the best in me.. she is my muse
after my angry impulsive move of the wasted ole refrigerator ( a metaphor for this adversary to teaching and connection with the students) when the pent up anger boils over the Llama’s last straw,
I cuddle next to my soul mate and feel vindicated by her


I fall in love with her again! I take her in my arms and hold her
I'm finally having even more of an epiphany she is carrying my seed...
More so, I want her to be proud of me as we both grow together
knowing the responsibility of bringing up a child in this universe!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

"This is my quest to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far."

I often Remember the words from Man of La Mancha singing the beautiful words while canoeing and portaging through the lakes of Algonquin Park as a camp Pathfinder counselor... I sometimes think that I might be living the dream of having a beautiful family in a beautiful peaceful environment with the ocean right beside us...

"I believe that a true QUEST is to continue seeking with passionate FAITH, even though the world tells us that to believe in that which we cannot see is FOLLY."

I often feel the same way...while others easily influenced by Machiavellian folks like Koreshka roll their eyes when I mention my human chess dream...
The best revenge is pursuing the dream and achieving it..

then we walk tall as my chess and drama players now do...
they had a wonderful taste of success

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"QUEST ... what IS it? ... QUEST is both a noun ... and ... a verb. A search ... and ... a seeking; an asking ... and ... to pursue, says Webster. And I say to QUEST is to seek and pursue with passion that which we know is attainable, even though others may call us foolish.

Remember the words from Man of La Mancha? "This is my quest to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far." I believe that a true QUEST is to continue seeking with passionate FAITH, even though the world tells us that to believe in that which we cannot see is FOLLY.


FAITH is FOLLY, the world says, only FACTS are worth seeking. And I say: "Don't confuse me with FACTS ... my FAITH is made up!"


QUESTION ... what is IT? To QUESTION while on the QUEST is to be willing to explore along the way: "unanswered questions and unquestioned answers."

Perhaps a good place to begin is with the QUEST-ion:
1) Do you believe in the spiritual Power called FAITH? ... or do you believe FAITH is FOLLY? I invite you to sit with the question, take it with you during your day and OWN your own answer! " http://questionsonthequest.blogspot.com/

Amazing how lately, I have been having faith in having a beautiful family...we do already have a beautiful family although a little disfunctional, ADD except for Buffy's simple life as the resident travelling bitch of the family.. It is so cool going one state north up into the mountains and the exhilaration of the Black Canyon chiselled through by the most powerful Gunnison river..
It's nice to sleep in inside with my muse sleeping till noon!

Jeff allowed us to stay an extra hour...I'll actually tip this nice family an extra $5 tip for treating us so nice... His wife was so funny after a glass of wine...she treated us to the most delicious chilli rellenos surrounded by egg roll shells...My angel was a little concerned that I might eat more than my share....:)
Check out the "Country Lodge" in Montrose...
We hung out camping out on a hardboard plantform in Orbis for $66
except for the camping it is the beautiful resort of clothes optional hot tubs with lithium to counteract any depression in the customers...
Maybe some of the emotionally unstable exs might benefit from a couple nights of this place..
just bring tons of padding to sleep on the hard wood!



"Don Quixote, the Man of La Mancha, asked an important question. Who is crazy? Am I crazy because I see the world as it could be or is the world crazy because it sees itself as it appears? A mightygood question and one that is facing us today.

The underlying question is: what do we consider to be the truth? Is the current state of the world, the truth about the human family? Couldn’t any of us pause for a moment, close our eyes, and see another kind of world? Which one is more real, the one that has currently manifested itself or the one in our minds? How we answer the last question will determine the direction of our lives and the state of the world in the days, months, and years to come.

In Love We Journey With You."
from INNER JOURNEY 1/22/08

Thursday, June 05, 2008

It is a weird feeling...almost an emotional letdown after school...suddenly I'm done with the year and possibly the community knowing that I have a year's leave of absence and have a job if I come back from Oz ...I feel it is 50/50 whether I come back to the school or somewhere in the large school district??

Still so many things to do...but both of us dwelling in a state of prograsstination..
We need to have a garage sale but we will delay getting out of here until we get the glasses we ordered...it will be cool to check out Silverton and other parts...

Thankyou, M, for being the steward of my paintings..I love the way you fell in love with the Murch
I'm so happy you don't still hate me..


553: on a commercial break .... while doing my best to tolerate the hungry sighs of the hungry mother ...constantly

Well I decided to try a new theme for this blog… Sometimes I’m amazed at all the posts that I’ve written over the years and comes up 2000s...