Saturday, July 28, 2007

Im having the greatest time of my life for a very long while. I'm having a wonderful time travelling with Dad's old Infinity...sometimes it seems like it's going to konk out but she hangs in there...We'll be heading to Glacier National Park and then to Banff Canada and Vancouver, BC...and then to the downtown section where herb is legal!


Monday, July 16, 2007

Backwards Voodoo!

Thankyou Michaelle Christchurch, for helping me to be happier than I have been in a long while!

Heading out to Yosemite and maybe wine country in the great America! far the voodo curse must have had an opposite effect! Maybe 2 negatives make a positive or Mom's hand knit sweater serves as a protective talisman to turn your negative energy into the most positive energy in a very long while! This will be the best way to overcome the curse that I've been under since 911! !
"It's funny how 'accessory to murder' isn't talking about that really cute necklace you wore when you shot the bastard. "

"Every once in a while, a woman will wake up with no ambition save for a wish to creep around quietly in her socks. And it must be a rule of the universe that this is a day when she will be required to go out into the world and act, interact, and be acted upon, in spite of - perhaps even because of - her extreme vulnerability. May I add then, this delicacy will be likely be expressed in a violence of temper over some inconsequential hurt, with feelings so raw as to be immediately exposed by virtue of the fact they are so terribly tender. Be kind then, to this raging woman, be she you or some other miserable creature - she is wide open and utterly naked, a state no man could imagine or endure."

~Grace Gibson, From the Diary of a Lady Beloved

Friday, July 13, 2007

Gray socks with a green stripe bonfire eve! (I bet she didn't wash them so they would have more power!)



The 2007 - 14th running of the Hardrock 100 Endurance Run will start at 0600 July 13th and end at 0600 July 15th, 2007 in Silverton, Colorado. The ’07 course will be a 100 mile COUNTER-CLOCKWISE loop through the back country of the San Juan Mountains in beautiful southwestern Colorado. The Hardrock 100 connects or passes near the old mining towns of Silverton, Lake City, Ouray, Telluride and Ophir. With a total elevation gain of approximately 33,000' and an average elevation at near tree line of 11,186', the Hardrock 100 peaks out at over 14,000’ on Handles Peak, one of Colorado’s 14’ers.

I am sitting here in the gym of the highschool where this amazing race started at 6am (I slept in of course). I've made some friends with some of the 130 runners are staying here at this very nice hostel with a very warm motherly innkeeper that makes us feel at home while I deal with the impending voodoo curse where the evil aging witch burns my gray Aussie top this new curse, today is Friday the 13th.

"Men: Be careful what you say during sex. It will be used to judge your reading on the retardometer " I suppose that is what we thought when I thought we were making love ..

The nice beautiful bartendress (their are actually some nice ones that haven't been damaged by all the evil men in their live) who delivered me a delicious margarita with the Mexican buffet said that I need to find the common weed, OSha(I don't know how to spell it), to serve as a protective talisman. All the people appear to be very nice in this small town of about 300-500 depending on the season.

Later on today I might go to one of the checkpoints of this race around the moutains with this doctor who has run in this race 5 times. She is so tiny but looks in fantastic shape. I don't feel old because many of the runners are even older than moi. They take care of their bodies and it's great to see their joie de vivre!

"So I found out a little piece of information today that made everything suddenly ‘click’ and make sense.
Everything that happened, crystal clear now….the discrepancies, the placement of his body and the gun, the over-exaggerated friendliness of someone who I thought disliked me, the look that was given to me that I felt shot arrows into my soul as it asked, “did I know?”
I was right all along. I knew it from one look. I didn’t have the right reason, but I had the right person.
So now what? Can’t tell anyone I know, I mean, I like to stay alive. And the revelation that the complicity had to reach so far into the agencies and organizations and surrounding people that it did was stunning a little bit. The lies that were told right to my face….it made me dizzy, for just like a second.
The fact is, the truth will never come out. But at least now I know what it is.
But I can tell you….this is the shit that picks away at you, peels layers of your sanity away, and makes you want to do bad things.
Hopefully this post never is seen by anyone relevant to the situation, as if any of those people have tumblr. That’s why I love this site. But if I go missing, the important people will know who it was and why.
“Why not hurt the person with violence or magic?” You might say. Because it’s not my place to call the entity above for anyone other than me. Karma is a bitch, and it takes a lot more strength to know how to do things, and not do them, than it takes to use dark magic or violence against someone else, and unnecessarily fuck up your own Karma.
Ultimately, they won’t get away with it. It will always be there, and it will come back around to them eventually, in this life or the next.
I have too many people that depend on me to evoke the ire of murderers or the Karmic payback I would receive myself. No thanks, I choose peace. Never forgiven, and never forgotten, but I still choose peace. "

so her curse backfired!....    she lied that she didn't do evil magic on people...  karmic payback was done by this witch

Thursday, July 12, 2007

War is good for the carpet baggers, the oil companies,other greedy corporations , and the military industrial complex that are raping the people of Iraq so that obese westerners can have their big trucks and SUVS because they are too lazy to walk or ride a bike!
The Bush family is enjoying the profits from war as they have for several generations!

right now I'm at my favorite pub, the Miner's union where you can get $2 amber bock beers...of course it doesnt compare to the .75 cent beers at the Buzzard Beach!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

My body is saying to me to get more exercise and play more (even it's only with my canine soul mate)...
watching Buffy running in and out of the cold Animas River high up in the Rockies, just for the sake of exercise and play, made me realize how all animals, especially humans, pent up all day just getting fat, need the chance to play (exercise)...
We should observe animals more often instead of just listening to the mores of society and the fast food mcdonaldiZation of this country...

watch how dogs naturally take care of their bodies..
Their own natural instincts know far more than us on how our bodies communicate with us!
2:34 PM
I wanted to thank God for this beautiful day in the mountains and then seeing the cleansing moonsoon rains come down and cool everything so that I actually have to put my mother's hand knit sweater on!

so this rambling doesn't make sense, M?

"There are three kinds of people and three kinds of richness:
people who want to have, to collect
people who want action, work and labor
people who want to beThe real richness is in be-ness. People can take all that you have, all that you collected. People can stop your labor, or an accident can stop you. When you are, you never lose what you are.~Torkom Saraydarian"

That is so good to remember. Happiness is learning to be in the now!
I see the statue of Jesus looking over the town of Silverton and the cross of St. Patrick's cathedral through the window of this turn of the century library... The statue was erected in the late 50's after the mine was flooded and many miners died to help them in their deliverance to heaven
I actually feel more comfortable seeing Him than I ever have before...

This morning I rode my bike up the road and then walked to where the statue looks comfortingly over the whole village...just at the foot of where the mountain starts dramatically rising
There has been a very cleansing rain going over the whole town. I wrote a note of prayer and asked for strength to help release me from this l0ve/hate soon as I rode back to the hostel the clouds started gathering and formed a protective shade for this valley...I picked a little sheltered spot outside and started writing with my beautiful Buffy beside me! It was the coolest experience!(of course I had two hits of herb..I only have less than a teaspoon of the medicine left...I don't know who to ask to find a little more ...It sure makes me want to write a lot more!)

all of my writing is "babel" according to the young but rapidly aging witch (she is actually almost a generation younger but that is what happens to your body when you are filled with anger and restricts your circulation... what a sad pathetic creature)

It is so good to escape from everything here in the middle of the's actually peaceful to make a little "home" in this village high up in the Rockies!

More and more I become saddened at the state of the human race and so we wonder why we might need to escape to a peaceful place ...
I still have a glimmer of hope that I might find my soulmate and my utopia...but then It hink it will never happen!

Muffy writes:
And start fucking editing your writing so it makes sense more of the time.
at least you and the witch agree that my writing is very incoherent and sloppy...Eventually, we can edit this and find the good material... right now I am just writing from the heart and we all know how deluded my vision of all this coming together into a great American novel..

I, literally, can't understand what you're saying. It's incoherent, uncohesive, and just sloppy, Sloppy. Beautiful, heartfelt writing and imagery will not be recuse you from the charges of lazy composition.Oh, Baby. I still love you. Ich liebe dich.

Are you actually saying that some of it is beautiful? And you used the same word,"imagery" that the evil witch used!...hmm, maybe there is hope..maybe I could hire you out as my editor and ask Leigh Anne for help with the blog and putting actual pictures to this imagery??
The herb helps but I'm down to only one hit on my one hitter...I'm too afraid to ask anybody here at the Miner's tavern in Silverton..But this is a cool pub and by far the cheapest so it's the only place that gets the local business. Earlier in the evening, I met a fellow Aussie from New South Wales. He married and divorced a Yank , but at least got his green card out of the now he is working construction..
You also used the word "recuse", in a different sense than when the judge recused himself of my case!

Aber Ich liebe dich auch. It made me feel so good knowing that it was you and not the other M with some more nasty fan mail! Maybe, if you play your cards right.... (just kidding ;) I was just thinking of you and actually missing you!

Thursdsay at the "Cow Palace" with internet access...

I know. Just watch out for run-on sentences. And how come the world can't see the blogger comments on your website? As they are written, not copied and selectively re-phrased by you? I think you should find a smart kid and pay him to set you up and show you how to do all the techno- things you envision for this site. Surely you can find a college-age kid needing money, and he probably has a "hook-up." I'm still not sure of what voice you're going to be using when you write the book. First or third person? (Change names to protect the fantastic.)

The grey sock witch is liable to write some libelous slander with my name on must be her time of the month because she has been writing a lot of psychotic crap including praying to the ghost of Jeffery Dahmer to eat my "waning libido"! I guess she wants me dead the way she wants all of the fathers of her kids to be dead or at least incapacitated the way she is..
Maybe I will find a smart college kid that is willing to work for the commission of our great American Novel..or pay a little now with a contract for a lot more when the story with the names changed to protect the guilty...

I don't know yet how we can write this alternating between first , 2nd and third person...It could be a compilation of stories while travelling across the midwest ala Kerouac or Hunter Thompson?

It could be a best seller if the witch's voodoo actually works when the new moon happens this weekend?
Her comments are hilarious and I will include them in later posts, M!

"G, go to hell I know who you are you aren't fooling anyone. But tonight, I will say thank you to Jeffrey Dimmer. Yes, that's right, Jeffrey Dahmer. Not because he ate people, and not because he liked to look at their insides and jack off, or even because he tried to make living zombies with muriatic acid or something. It's because he killed people. Like Giuseppe. Well, not really because they were young and good looking, and probably smart....but somehow they got either lured by his charm or he just drugged their drink. I really do believe that we come into this life and others to make a difference, to try our best, to be honest, and we really do have a purpose. We always talk here about the prosperity aspect of life, (duh, it's the Prosperity Project) but there wouldn't be the sincere desire to better one's life, that heart embracing kind of love that is between people sometimes, rarely, and there wouldn't be miracles if there weren't the exact opposites. we all have to die some way. we can't all be positive energy. so thank you, to Jeffrey Dahmer, for showing me yet another little paradox of life. And possibly, in this moment, I realize that we can't always be positive. SO Giuseppi, screw you, I'm burning your damn socks on the next new moon and then I will never, ever aknowledge you or someone who even sounds remotely like you ever again. I hope the ghost of Jeffrey Dahmer eats the rest of your precious 'waning libido'. At least. But if you are out there accepting this thank you in person somewhere the part of his brain that would keep him from using the computer"

wow....does it sound like she should be committed again??
I always wondered what happened to my crazy grey socks with the green stripe! Too damn funny!

"When we recognize that we are not making healthy choices, we might even say out loud, “I am not taking care of myself.” Sometimes this is the jolt we need to wake up to what is actually happening. Next we can sit ourselves down in meditation, with a journal, or with a trusted friend to explore the matter more thoroughly. Just shining the light of our awareness on the source of our resistance is sometimes enough to dispel its power. At other times, further effort is required. Either way, we need not fear these parts that do not want to heal. We only need to take them under our wing and bring them with us into the light."
I love the way the "Daily Om" seems to connect with me and always have something that deals with exactly with what is on my mind!

and thanks Muffy for cheering me up when Im about to have some gray sock voodoo done on me in the new moon tomorrow?/

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

In dem Augenblick als ich gerade weg von der Hitze bleiben möchte. Die Berge sind kühl, wenn Sie nah an 10.000 Fuß erhalten. Ich kam gerade in Silverton an und betete sofort in des Str. Patricks der Kirche. Sie hatte übereinstimmend den Namen meines Lieblingsjesuitlehrers in der High School auf einem befleckten Glasfenster, Vater O'Malley. Ich glaubte sofort einer Freigabe, besonders als ich die wundervolle Kathedrale des felsigen Moutains draußen sah!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

I go around the corner with my soulmate and see the almost endless view of the Rockies against the red sky from a setting sun and I hear Neville singing Amazing Grace. It was at that point that I really wanted to believe in heaven where hatred, fear, animosity, jealousy don't exist..There is only love...It made me realize how much that I have to enjoy every moment..

I have only a few more days of good health and vigor before the new moon... the worst could happen .....someone's gonna put a curse on me and if that don't work then Joe Pete will break my legs or I will mistakenly eat Mema Valetti's poison Manicotti.

I'm gonna have to find the catholic church in Durango and pray for my salvation.

Friday, July 06, 2007

"Chills run up and down my spine for the new moon!"

Some one wants to cause me harm...
Is that news?

considering all the hatemail from rednecks and Bushistas having a few too many in bars and starting fights since they cannot argue well, rednecks very often get physical...What do I say to them?
"Take a number!"

One xgirlfriend has a father connected with the Mafia and is threatening to do voodoo on me !
She wouldnt talk to him for 1o years and wrote how her Dad wanted the father of her 2nd child to be in cement boots along with Jimmy Hoffa references....And we wonder how a lady could grow up to be emotionally stable with a crook for a Dad and an emotionally abusive mother?
It's understandable that broken homes cause years of issues for the children and tend to get mixed up only in abusive relationships.

She has made references to Italian names and beating heads for a living...

So if anything happens to me it's probably more likely the Cosa Nostra connections rather than her voodoo... Maybe her connections could even reach me in Oz...she laughs at the imagery of an Aussie stingray poisoning my heart!

She has threatened to come back as a bird to poop on all the men who crossed her (unfortunately she ended up hating or disliking all the fathers of her children...sad)

Dieses ist, wohin Voo Doo in handliches kommt. Ich nicht verwende es überhaupt zwar, es sei denn es keine andere Alternative gerecht gibt. Z.B. benutzte I einmal spellwork, um eine Frau zu verursachen, die ihr Kind mißbrauchte, um die strengen Magenschmerz zu haben, jederzeit, das sie ging, das Kind zu schlagen. Danken Sie Gott, den Situation korrigiert erhielt. Auf dem folgenden neuen Mond werde ich noch etwas loswerden, das mich gestört wird, und er verwendete zu besitzt ein Paar graue Socken mit grünen Streifen, die in meinem spellwork Schlüssel sein werden. Es ist großer Spaß und läßt mich einer Gesamtfreigabe, derselben glauben, die ich, als ich jede Lüge brannte, die mir auf Papier geschrieben wurde. Und, es funktioniert. Mein scharfer Bullshitdetektor bearbeitet gerechten Geldstrafe.....the kleinen mißbrauchten Jungen ging zu einem sicheren Haus, und hoffnungsvoll bald habe ich etwas tatsächlichen Frieden, zum einiger Sachen zu genießen, die ich Tageszeitung tun mag, aber zu scheinen, vom grauen Socke Kerl immer ein wenig ruiniert zu werden. Warum? Weil ich ihn ständig beschäftigen muß. Er hält zu versuchen, in meine Masse der Freunde zu schleichen und mich Bezahlung Aufmerksamkeit zu ihm zu bilden. Sie ist krank. Aber, ich möchte nicht meine Freunde loswerden, um Frieden, den zu haben bin lächerlich. So Voo Doo ist er.....
It is so hard for me to pack and move but when I'm finally on the road again...the sadness of immobilization leaves me...

I have a feeling some exgfs have been reading this blog because of the fan mail...

Now Buffy and I might check out the alien festival but I swear that I have dated women that are as strange as the aliens that I have only heard about...

It's nice to get loving messages from Muffy... I guess her, Charles and Buffy have been some of my few friends...But it was great to chat with DR. Thomas, my part Native American friend and unofficial mentor!

Chills run up and down my spine for the new moon! The loony witch will put a spell on a weird pair of grey socks with green stripes that I forgot that I had...I always felt that this woman was never into black magic but listen to her hatred:

This is where Voo Doo comes in handy. I don't ever use it though, unless there is just no other alternative. For example, I once used spellwork to cause a woman who was abusing her child to have severe stomach pain any time she went to beat the child. Thank God that situation got rectified. On the next new moon, I will be getting rid of something else that's been bothering me, and it used to own a pair of grey socks with green stripes that are going to be key in my spellwork. It will be great fun, and make me feel a total release, the same as I did when I burned every lie that was written on paper to me. And, it works. My keen bullshit detector is working just fine.....the little abused boy went to a safe home, and hopefully soon I will have some actual peace to enjoy some things which I like to do daily but seem to always be somewhat ruined by grey sock guy. Why? Because I must constantly deal with him. He keeps trying to sneak into my crowd of friends and make me pay attention to him. It's sick. But, I don't want to get rid of my friends to have peace, that's ridiculous. So Voo Doo it is....."
uly 6, 2007 3:46 PM
Guiseppi Verde said...
Who was grey sock guy and what did you believe were lies that he wrote to you?Did you keep his socks specifically for this voodoo?

I guess the article on manic depression and realizing why I should not take it personally even though it still hurts because of her lies to me asking me to be the father of her children.

We were doing wonderful but during one of your episodes you insisted on having your stepfather and Mommy Dearest over to my home (I was enjoying it being our family home more than ever in my life)

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

What Is Bipolar Disorder? Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic-depressive illness, is a condition that affects more than two million Americans. People who have this illness tend to experience extreme mood swings, along with other specific symptoms and behaviors. These mood swings or "episodes" can take three forms: manic episodes, depressive episodes, or "mixed" episodes.
The symptoms of a manic episode often include elevated mood (feeling extremely happy), being extremely irritable and anxious, talking too fast and too much, and having an unusual increase in energy and a reduced need for sleep.

there was one emotionally disturbed lady I dated who had the above episodes..she kept repeating how she was extremely happy and then went through very depressed periods.she became extremely irritated and anxious when her parents were coming to stay almost as if she was preparing for a final exam. The house had to be spotless so she sent me off to teach her 9 year old son to ride a bike!

It's also very common for someone to act impulsively during a manic episode, and engage in behaviors that are risky or that they later regret, like spending sprees.
or a very loose lifestyle with drugs and many sex partners creating health and back problems later
And in over half of all manic episodes, people are troubled by delusions or hallucinations.
experiencing past life experiences and believing in magic spells

For example, they may think they have a relationship with someone famous,
believing to have the power of a very rare Indian tribe..

claim to be an expert in an area they really know nothing about, feel paranoid (unusually fearful), or hear voices that are not there.

The symptoms of a depressive episode often include an overwhelming feeling of emptiness or sadness, a lack of energy, a loss of interest in things, trouble concentrating, changes in normal sleep or appetite, and/or thoughts of dying or suicide.

A mixed episode includes symptoms that are both manic and depressive.
What causes it?
The symptoms of bipolar disorder are thought to be caused by an imbalance of key chemicals in the brain. The brain is made up of billions of nerve cells that move a constant stream of information from one to the other. To keep the information flowing, the cells release chemicals known as "neurotransmitters." Two key neurotransmitters that are needed for brain function are dopamine and serotonin, which play a crucial role in emotional health.
Many scientists believe that when the levels of these neurotransmitters aren't quite right, it may result in bipolar disorder. For instance, too much dopamine in certain parts of the brain can cause symptoms such as delusions, while too little dopamine in other parts of the brain can cause symptoms such as a lack of emotion and energy."

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

"By not passing judgment on anyone, and instead sending hope for their healing, we may create something positive out of a difficult situation. We can then release it, since dwelling on it can cause an energetic drain in our system, causing us to really only hurt ourselves. When we can release our hold on negative events and interactions, we leave it in the hands of a wise universe to work out the best solution for all involved. "

from my favorite daily om!

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Fun with Raphael and Erowyn

I'm extremely passionate about finding my niche where I can really soar.
I'm passionate about finding
my Utopian Shangri La
(Raphael says that you have to realize your Shangri La by living in the now..It's easy for him in his beautiful place)
I'm passionate about doing something really great and making a movie/documentary/book about it..
Im not passionate about my procrastination...its the side of myself that I detest.
Most think that I have a tendency to get obsessed (OCD)about some projects..

I often just smile at them and look forward to when the projects are done..I consider that the best revenge to all the naysayers!

That is what drives me and motivates me instead of just staying in bed depressed about all the things I should have already done in this extremely short life.

July 1, 2007 11:03 AM Arizona time

I's sitting here on a lazy Sunday in the middle of summer, the beginning of the very busy American July 4th week..Do I want to compete against all the traffic this week or go back to Utopachi and get my car fixed and hope my place hasn't been robbed as I knowingly left the door unlocked thinking nobody would touch anything...Muffy has a tendency to do that..

(She's been checking up on me to make sure I haven't found my Native American princess,but it's still good to hear her voice. She is still my best friend especially when I'm far away from her malicious manipulative 16 year old daughter.. The older one is fine's funny how M wastelling me how the house smelled very "skunk", yet the youngest ratted on me when I smoked a J with her neighbor as if she was going to get me in trouble with my stoner gf...I'll be glad when weed becomes legal so we don't have to deal with these closet hippocritters that smoke weed themselves and chastise others that smoke it,,, at least half of the faculty enjoy the herb and Governor Richardson passed a bill to make it legal medically! :) I just hope that I don't get too old before it becomes legal!

July 2, 2007 5:39 PM
Anonymous said...
"There is also a silver lining in being able to giggle when someone cusses and grumbles anonymously in a blog, isntead of getting angry!"yep that is fun,,writing is the best catharsis of the soul,,:)life is too frickin short to get angry... its a lot easier sometimes to do your best to laugh at your own mistakes in life rather than get all pent up with anger...anger and hostility causes cancer, heart attacks, strokes, back problems and overall poor health.. be angry and uptight all the time and will create a general restriction of live giving circulation, besides high blood pressure at a very young age!babble?? ;) "

It's cool being back near my "home" town and waiting for my Native American friend to work on my Infinity! (I often think of the line from the expsycho..
"The ring is infinity and you are not it!")