Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Back to the Okie Zone...its weird the way 2 years have passed so suddenly...Im at least excited about seeing my old neighbors ..My house has so much work to put on it...
Im still waiting to see the reaction from everyone about my large eagle tatoo on my arm..I impulsively had it done with an experience native artist on the Rez. It was so beautiful...Im trying to tune into art so much more since the arl class did their wildlife on the boarders of our chessboard.. had a good cry with one of the secretaries about the whole ..she remarked how so many don't want the chess to succeed because they are jealous..
i knew that but to hear it from her made my day and I was getting all verklempt about how my chess players are walking tall. My four best players are special ed and they have proved to themselves and everyone how smart they are!

May 31, 2007, 11:44 AM (land of enchantment time :)
going to the same old haunts makes you realize how time flies by while you sit still...everyone is going through the Wendy's drive thru...Uncle Ron just passed away and it doesnt faze...another year and then summer vacation will transpire like its a weekend..

listening to Shania Twayne (rhymes with my name) and that song takes me how wonderful it would be someone like her singing about you...and Muffy calls at the same time...

June 21, 2007, 4:08 PM
ok about 4 weeks have passed and what have I done with my summer vacation paralyzing fear??
its seems like lately I have become obsessed with my own little laptop as a way to communicate with people!..
I arrived back in the okie zone last night and had a relaxing with Buffy often being the center of attention. It makes me realize who good a father I could be when I meet the right emotionally adjusted woman..I guess that will be hard to find unless I look overseas...

It is overwhelming thinking about all the things that I have to do with my house!
I get bouts of severe laziness which only adds to the depression!
I need to make a list of goals for the summer and then the next two years. She wants to take a cruise with her kids and have me take her to Pennsylvania! She is so well organized like someone else I knew but so emotionally volatile, I don't know if I candle her anymore. She wants to see me somewhere away from her home and kids. That was the worst 3 weeks of summer that I've ever had!
1. fix up my house a. plumbing
b. organize the other rooms and maybe even get a truck...get up early some morning and find a place for storage.
c. get a huge trash bin, dismantle the refrigerator so we can throw that and the dishwasher away
d. fix the wall of the bathroom
e. get a regular refrigerator.
2. take a trip to australia or venezuela!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"Everyone is looking for a miracle outside rather than looking at the power within"

A major weight has been lifted...the judge said at the end of the day that he would have to recuse the case...my lawyer was a very sharp individual that I would find out at the end of the day loved playing chess in law school. I did not realize that my teaching would be the ace in the hole. He must have known that the judge was a teacher too so he was biased...now there is a very good chance that the case will be dismissed...I had a great lesson in the legal system..I became familiar with the cities' finances...my Navaho officer went to the same school...
The judge realized how punitive the system could be and that the governor was on a vendetta to prove a point....the lawyers were much more experienced than the young prosecutor

Now I can go to Oz...I guess the joy of losing the pain hasn't sunk in yet..unfortunately, the travel place had been closed for a year which was about the same time I booked the flight with her..I want to revel but Im tired and of course emotionally drained...

I have to be careful about who I divulge the informationt too...
It is such great news that it most likely will be dismissed and won't go on my record...
then I realized that he had a case and renewed the confidence that I hired him for..I didn't realize that he was as good as he was...the police and other lawyers looke up to him and liked him...It was a brilliant chess game...and he was prepared...of course I was becoming both anxious , paranoid and depressed about the worst case scenario
it was good to have my confidant best friend be with me in all these trials of my own fortitude..
maybe one of the best things will be walk to that school with confidence!...Muffy says to hold my head up high and walk with confidence...I gave everyone a taste of more to come...outdoor chess and then the anticipation of being the sponsor of several activities that only enhance learning...these students will be excited about it...

"Im in the midst(?) of an adventure right now..I almost feel that it could be somewhere in the beginning of the movie long before the hero achieves what he wants to do for the community ...but so often in these movies there is the love interest that often spurs him on and makes the adventure so much more colorful...you each share each others' perspectives on things both highs and lows..it gives so much more dimension to the realities of lifes' challenges..instead of facing it all alone." :(

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

its really good to chat with you!!...even though the court date is tomorrow ...I suddenly have such a good feeling especially having the contract in hand ...and having a superlative day teaching chess...
the kids were giving me a hard time and they knew that they were getting on my nerves..they dont respect me as they are with other adults..
then dealing with the last politics of the schoool..I just wanted to stay out of it and Jesus planning for his coup de tat of the sped department... and then relaying the message to the Borg
but overall, I felt that I had a victory of so many kids involved in and engaged outside in this one game of chess while bantering with adults the way uppity adolescents love to banter while Im somewhat relaxed outside in my shorts , trying not to think of the impending trial!

Now there is an air of summer relief that we are through all of it...
Then I was pleasantly surprised

May 22, 2007, 9:07 PM
Ok so Im here at coal street pub, Muffy is proud of my adventure coming to fruition…all the students engaged in the outdoor game of chess while the jealous teachers keep walking by….the old guidance counselor who appears to dislike any man over 30...she and the old IST only prefer talking to young malleable Peace corp teachers….and they want to fantasize about sleeping with young men the way dirty old men enjoy young women….it appears to be a pattern with old alpha females want youngsters that they can dominate…all 3 including Macbeth had African American husbands and probably was the liberal thing to do right after the Sidney Poitier movie of “Guess who’s coming to dinner!”
So tomorrow is the make it or break it day…either getting all depressed when the worst case scenario happens or the black cloud from her curse is vaporized…and the light is shining on our pathway…at least I don’t have to appear before the students this school year…I imagine being on the channel 7 news either way
On the wonderful positive side, I’ll be singing , dancing and only drinking when I can walk…or walk it off for an hour after spending time writing to you, and letting it metabolize for a couple of hours!…trying the specialty of the pub, “A bare Knuckles”
Then I can relax as long as there is a place to crash within walking distance..
Lovely thing about Oz is everything is within walking distance or even a free bus!!…then of course you have to walk or stumbling back from Surfers to Mermaid Beach…aah..I can feel the cool Pacific water in my toes!!
what would keep me from coming back to Utopachi??…I would need a months notice if i were to be a "quitter"…so that would have to be the beginning of July…or I start out the year waiting for the coup d’é·tat

of the school from this peace corp freak secretly desiring to have his own colony or sect....if Jesus’ domination of the sped dept doesn’t happen and we are free of his manipulations on the powers that be, then maybe??… I will see the young minds keen on learning about chess and students of all ages from k-12 making a commitment to improving their academics, test scores, intelligence, self esteem, character all while having fun learning chess… and I will be their vehicle for this greatness within themselves...so they will learn to "walk tall"
It was such a great day and then getting the contract in my hand…Julio doesn’t want to come back…Betty Lou and the other assistants want me to be the dept chairman,
“Yeh, right” responds Hesus with disdain….and the contempt that would only fit a latter day saint
Like David Koresh!…its fantastic to see them see through faux pseudo hippy saint façade…and understand him to be the back stabbing manipulative power hungry emotionally disturbed young man that he is…He is actually moving with his Newlywed (who wants the Spanish teacher’s job the way he wants my ED position. …I can almost guarantee he will manipulate himself into getting my spot just as he was going to have my class at the beginning of this year…
Muffy rolls her eyes and wonders why I want to punish myself

Friday, May 18, 2007

yesterday could have been the best day in a year...maybe the best as far as my career in teaching and hope for my own success...where people will look up to me as a teacher..
Jesus wants his desk in his "resource room" next year and wants to be "dept. head"
I can tell he is very jealous and wont be happy unless he is in total control

I am so happy the creation of the chessboard is finally happening. ...the counselor asked me how I might be incorporating "Character Counts" into the classroom . I wrote about each of the major characteristics and how chess helps these students in trustworthiness, citizenship, caring,
and good sportsmanship..

right now I am in between feeling very tired and on the other side wanting to write a book about chess..sad that I was politely told by the husband of a couple from our village that they needed to talk....
OK..Ive been listening to the "Doors" while climbing physically and mentally Mt. Taylor with my old infinity and Buffy! I HAVE the wrong energizer unfortunately so I can only chat with you a little while..The epiphanies seem to occur so much more under the influence...but avoiding overthought which kills the mild euphoric delusions unless you have mocha or a burger!..then you feel better!
I drove about 180 miles just for some trophies...but it's worth for the kids who might be grateful or just take it for granted...the fact it cost them only a dollar causes one of my success stories to throw the
"cheap ass dollar!"

Saturday, May 12, 2007

The postmaster wants to be the match maker and said that he just missed the most beautiful warmest oriental girl. She lives in town and only comes to the post office to see Matt .
Then he sees her at an Iep meeting with the Borg and then again at the coffee shop. They strike up a conversation ...he feels electricity and her warmth that she shares for her middle school children that are now his...he is afraid to let it go further and does not make the next step...
He types away at his laptop and then she comes over,
"you bought one of those Kuchina dolls?"...
"are you checking our the Art Walk?"
"cool maybe Ill see you on the walk.."

Walter Mitty is again in one of his delusional states chatting with an old Bohemian Chek who knew Ivan Lendl's mother.
"This is your studio?"
yes he says in heavy eastern european accent and a big smiles shows his need of dental work.
"So this is your zazrani...Ivan Lendl talked of his zazrani for Wimbledon."
He then said the word and understood.
"It is a healthy obsession ..."
"like your art" and G felt a connection with the artists of this Bohemian town...He finally connected with them...another sign ? to stay and let the seeds blossom!
Muffy rolls her eyes at her auspergers' boyfriend with mild delusions....

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Last night I was so depressed about the impending courtdate. I just received the notice in the mail yesterday that we will meet on the last day of school! Do I need to come back that afternoon?? Will they ask me back inside...Do I stay the night in a motel?? What will be the worst case scenario. I get into this state of perservaration. Muffy laughed when I told her but she was in angry mood about Bush having a photo op on his bike in a bicycle state. I wasn't sure if she said that and then set her off or even asking if it was close to the time period. She has no patience for Auspergers Syndrome.

Then I woke up this morning and felt so much better where I could take my time and get an extra 100$ (I think tax free) for listening to a seminar about Project based learning! I was so inspired by the snow that fell in the middle of spring..it was so beautiful walking to school with snow on the mountains this late into the year!
We didnt have to be there until 830 so I was early! I could sleep in till 7 cuddling Buffy and actually trying a little herb to put me in a nice mood. I mentioned my chess project and he talked about it first to our group of faculty. The young inner circle of teachers and the old grandmother counselor who loves these younger studs all rolled their eyes or sniggered. Jesus of course was in that bunch and I knew what behavior he would have. Coincidentally , when I was talking about himand the peace corp disciples of his, he drove by on VW faux young hippy van..
I'm in town now so I can have computer access at the internet cafe!

It snowed about 4 inches and was still continuing till about 11 am. but now its about 3 and it all has melted. Im sitting here at Applebees and I discovered another place where I can obtain wireless since the cafe is closed on Sunday. I am very bored except for the access to the universe and that access is severely limited at our school. I'm arguing with the resident repub trolls on newsbusturds and looking for anything else that might be interesting.