Saturday, March 31, 2007

No good deed goes unpunished!

....I was about to leave last night, but I know how I prograstinate and forget things before I take my trip back to the Okie Zone to see if the tornadoes blew away my home(?)...its worth a lot more according to the insurance companies than the market value after I fixed it up. It requires about 20K! ...Brother Ron has been pressuring me to sell the Parthenon laying the guilt trip on me about Uncle Ron and Leslie will lose a few 100k if we all don't see the 8 units together. This multimillionaire down the beach already owns 3 of the units and attempted to buy everyone out for a higher price. He also own the little vacant spot of beachfront that our family sold about 15 years ago to him. He wants a larger mansion than he has already!

I am so tempted to just stay on the beach this next year with Jesus and the Borginator doing their best to take my job. The Borginator comes back out of mental hibernation and an excuse from her shrink and t he union rep to start tearing apart all my Ieps since Lisa left because of her husband's demise. She and Jesus have done their best to make me look incompetent. The principal said that I needed to ask but how could when the Borg was never here. On top of that , some unknown source snitched(?) that the students visited the pool tables right next to the hotel bar while on our State trip to Lost Atomos! So he's going to write me up for that and then I feel a hidden threat that I will be written up for the defincies in the IEPs that I wrote. hhhhmmm...shades of KC and Nurse Cotrell?? It most often seems that I am always a target no matter what!
On the good note our chess players had a wonderful time and could not get enough chess playing continually on the van with our grumpy driver. She was the only one with a sour face and the principals actually thought it might have been her that "snitched" to a parent. Who knows. Raphael had experience with this lady and said how these ladies so often love to tear apart a good thing or stab a Bellagona in the back!

Well it's so nice to finally get spring break and it will more than a thousand mile drive to see Muffy ....I sure pray to the universal energies that we have a wonderful time and that I can gain the insight and mental energy to bring in all the parents again to rewrite these Ieps!

I need to make a list of what I have to do in town before I finally get out of Dodge!
get the flomax and ummm?? Im finally on my way!

"It's so synchronous that you mention seedlings and that they have to go down before they reach for the heaven. That is what I feel with this giant chessboard board that we are creating to beautify the school courtyard. The squares have been painted and the art class will paint the border of the 100 square yard chess board with Native American art and pictures of the local scenery and indigenous wildlife. There are only a few teachers that support me on this project and many even walk over the board in disrespect but I sense how the students are anticipating playing some human chess where they will be dressing up in costumes. I feel that this could be the beginnings of annual event to boost the self esteem of the community but we have to go through so many hoops and my own costs...I just pray that this seedling will blossom."

liberal bloggers receiving death threats??

It is scary about death threats. From reading this site, it appears that some right winger have come to the point of internet road rage at this site frequently when an ocassional "lunatic liberal" visits this site on a very limited visa.
I am glad that since I have been gone, we have not allowed to let the govt have total control. Democracy took place to oust the check the unchecked govt control of our lives!
Fortunately, govt officials are limited to acess who we are as they could very easily intimidate citizens whether right or left!
We have checks and balances!
It is amazing how at this point we can find out about others on the net...I have a feeling that the govt is already doing this by govt officials who want to know the scoop about "subsevisive??"

It is good that I chatted with my lawyer. He seemed reassuring and knowing that we can appeal. The secretary told me that they would "revoke" my drivers license. It was comforting to be assured that the paperwork was sent through on my breath tests too soon without getting information on the machine! There was a two hour delay between the test and first being stopped by the Rez police. This happened back in November and there have been constant delays to see the real judge rather than just a judge in Santa Few....
Worse case scenario, six months would be a good time walking on the Beaches of the Gold Coast looking for damsels drowning in the waves... :) sans the drivers license and clothes...(only a blue speedo;)
As time goes by so fast, it's a shame to waste days being bored. If I was bored, it's a lot more fun be that way on the beach!

Monday, March 26, 2007

"Imagine your most treasured dream in every detail, and then set about to be the person who can truly experience it. Your dream will fill the home that you build for it."

We came back from our was an epipheny and then I had trepidation...sure enough my instinct for paranoia was correct...I feel that I can more and more tell the future...or is it predicting human nature and all of its' weaknesses....
Why is it when we feel that everything is going so well, how others want to tear it down!
Our kids came back from the state championship, undefeating...I thought that they were well behaved but somebody reported that they were playing pool,,,,the problem was that the room with the tables was right next to the bar! I have a feeling they were there when we were thinking they were relaxing in the hotel room...who knows if or when it happened but my job is on the line for sticking my neck out so these reservation students were given a chance to get out of town and enjoy themselves away from their poor existence... they will benefit so much from this trip and most others know this...but then there are some jealous(?) folks the sluttish young school teacher who wouldn't allow one of my best chess players come! I wonder if she saw me peer through the kitchen windown to see her and the young gangly first year math teacher hug and kiss each other after spending the night together. For some reason , she parked her car right outside my house far away from his house..amazing the intrigue of this little village...rumor has it that she was even sleeping with Jesus when His fiance was out of town??/

"What is the difference between a bitch and a slut?
A slut sleeps with everyone and a bitch sleeps with everyone but you!"
I saw this comment and it made me think of this lady I was once in love with. I wonder why am I attracted to these type of women??...They sleep with many men , but end up with assholes and then claim to be victims...she had 4 children from four different men and hates all 4. Only one of the fathers is responsible and of course the kids want to live with him??

I wonder why they would actually think so viciously of men in Hawian t shirts :
"And it was definitely worth the six cents I found in the drink tray at McDonalds to watch the biggest a-hole in the world drop ketchup all down the front of his stupid hawaiian shirt. There is still some joy in the world.... ?"

I guess love take holds and we paint this blurry image of someone that evolves into this defensive schmeagol full of pain from the school of hard knocks...they want others to share in the same pain??

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Bummer,..I wrote a few things to capture the moment before I could make the reluctant decision to have one long green beer with a green shamerock necklace in the bottom of the long cup...all that green dye #2
going into your I limited it to one beer...somehow I felt the bf of this other peace corp maiden was acting very protective when we were in a long conversation about the school,(I realize this bloke had grey hair but more of it..probably closing in on 40...He didn't want to sit down!!

I have just a tiny buzz and the discovery of a hidden pouch in this expensive swiss gear laptop backpack helped accentuate the feeling some I wonder where I could drive to, take in the desert scenery...the red cliffs accentuating by the high altitude sun...

I'm hanging outside the coffee shop in the small downtown next to the El Morro Theater since it's the only spot with free wireless...sad that they are not open on Sunday...she spilled the cream when she poured it into my coffee..maybe she was around my age and nervous....wanting to close up...Before I could even plug in the laptop, the jealous older bf informs me that I need to buy a cup of coffee or pay $3 for the service, in feign apolegetic manner...
I just start chatting with this other newly in love teaching couple...I saw him making the initial moves last semester when we were all involved in on these frequent sped meetings!
....there is politics everwhere, even in my retirement (?) home in Oz??
I almost like the state of entropy here with the principal gone so much but supportive when he is here...I am so grateful for his efforts in getting funds for our weekend in the Atom Bomb City! Our state tournament is where the bomb was invented and made!~
Do you know that there is a high rate of autism in children of geniuses?
I wonder what it would be like to teach in that town??? It is so close to Santa Fe...maybe I would not be so depressed....
Where will I find a community where I will be loved or will that eventually happen or will there will be jealousy??

nature is a universal mind organizing(?) this universe..

3/21 2nd day of Spring!
I come on here once or twice a week. I feel so frustrated sometimes, but it's good to relax at the coffee shop and chat even with
Talking to these brainwashed neocons actually makes my day!...almost like winning a great chess I come here and play a game of chess with Russell, managing to win a game and then he traps me into a draw!
He is actually more obsessed about chess than I am!
We will be going to the state championships in less than 48 hours! I am happy that 4 of our best players have made the commitment to come. It is still very difficult for the logistics! I will have to clean up my old Infiniti and make sure I call AAA with all the extra towing ...and bring Mom's homemade sweater to feel her spirit with me!
I am excited about the Art Class continuing the chess project!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

It's cool to be able to chat with you...I always worry about overstaying my welcome! It was so beautiful staying in Flagstiff with Raphael and Erowyn...
now Im about 100 seconds from narcolepy...It was so fun to hike up with while smoking the new found herb..going to another altered state mixed with a little depression that life is so fleeting....wishing that you were the age of your friends didnt think about how life was so fleeting back then>>
Wednesday: It's too bad that I don't have anybody close by to share the wonderful weather ...long distance relationships are very frustrating...I almost want the freedom of not having a gf so that I can experience falling in love again...I miss that excitement of finding that elusive soulmate and wondering if there ever is a chance that Ms. Perfect will fall in my lap somewhere in my travels...I have been celibate for the past few months just out of laziness and desire to be honest...another big one is why make the effort for rejection and entanglement worried that the whole village will know ! ....especially if it fails....
More and more it seems as though I am convincing myself to stay here regardless of no intimacies here or the chance of a third year by myself only comforted by my faithful bitch, Buffy!
I have talked to others of my dream materializing in schools large courtyard...I keep looking at her as if she is now my love, my passion, my creation!...I can let her go now just when it could be the start of a movie and this is only the beginning...Never, have I felt a niche and comfort zone working here with the natives...a Bellagonna all alone putting all of his efforts into figuring out how chess can save the community!
They will be proud of themselves ...I can feel it...I can feel the energy when so many youngsters hang out by the chessboard ,,, I had desks put around the 100 sq. yds. so that kids wouldn't across it and wear it out before we started the actual play...others see it and then ocassionally an adult gives a compliment...some people think I'm crazy but they are not willing to admit that it's already having a profound effect positively on many. It is so beautiful seeing the maroon and gold colors blend into the mural of the mountain, cougar, sun and nature. The colors that Brad and I picked out were perfect. I never expected it to look as good as it does!
It will be so fantastic when they paint mountain lions, Native American warrrios on the edge of the board!