Thursday, October 26, 2006

He wakes up from his Dream of future residency near Paradise!
(His beloved flat is a few miles down the coast from Surfer's Paradise.)

The large raven flies everyday in the school courtyard
.Where does she reside? Is she waiting for the chess board to be finished? G sees her every morning and wonders if he/she is a sign from the gods?? The Romans talked of the ravens flying over the left side as sinister. Sinistra is Latin for left, the root of the word. Does he see her on the left or the right?? Left is evil according the right wing neocon fascists but so were the Jews in Hitlers Germany. Folks fear anybody that can think. Despite being in an intellectual environment humans still are intimidated by intelligence or a new better way of learning.
He overhears Bettylou whining about her treatment when she caused a scene yesterday again about "her" computer. She claims that hers doesn't work so she "acquired" another sped computer that could be used to help students with math skills? Every other day she nags him in front of the students about using it to help the students learn skills yet she is on their more than any other assistant. She is effectively talking to the library assistant(who often sleeps on the couch) to all go visit the superintendent and school board to complain. I have noticed that these folks are very good at whining while making no effort to improve on their own.
Clay was on an hour long angry tirade about how much he hated school, the teachers, and even Betty Lou. He called everyone including G all sorts of names. G asked him once or twice to do some math!
"You are always forcing me to do math!"
"I asked you once or twice.How is that forcing,Clay?"
The 17 year old junior cusses angrily using the F word in every other sentence. G tells him he won't argue and then resigns to having another day without teaching Algebra first hour. He realizes that he is in viscious circle and he is happy that he will take a few days off.Will he have hell to pay when he gets back??
Chess is his saving grace and will be the saviour of the village. There is so much anger generated from this one lady and others. He wants to teach them that if all the pieces work together we can achieve a common goal of checkmating George Bush and his "No Child left Behind Bullshit"!


He's finally had closure with everything before his well earned time off!
The class makes some muffins with the organic apple from a local friend's tree. He shares the muffins with the principal, the secretaries and even a peace offering to Betty Lou. Yep, G, that is the strategy:
Just shower them with kindness when you are angry with them and suddenly you feel good! A weight has been lifted and you suddenly notice yourself smiling at this Navaho lady.....you remember when you gave her wildflowers every time you were angry at her!

He's written all the lesson plans, made all the worksheets of math for different levels, cleaned up his room and secured everything!
He's secured his hovel, put away his precious mountain bike, taken his very important piece of equipment for evidence of his brief journey (relative to next year's(?) walkabout in Oz!), and put his beloved Buffy in her kennel. He needs to buy her some dog food with glucosamine so her genetically dislocated hip won't bother her when she reaches G's age in dog years (7?). His neck feels so much better when he has one or two glucosamine sulfate tabs daily! (The pain was a result of getting shot in the neck in his previous life a by southern redneck during the civil war while walking over the "dead man zone" at Andersonville Prison. (at least according to the beliefs of a deranged witch he dated several years ago)

Sunday, October 22, 2006

a day ahead sometime in the Future!






I've been so lazy just hanging out here on the beach walking everywhere. I brought my mountain bike to ride up to Surfer's to play chess with the old folks who give me colds in the Ozzie winter sometimes! I had to have the bike shop take the bike apart before sending it to Mermaid Beach. Raphael put it together for me. I was torn between letting them take care of her or letting her enjoy the wonderful warmness of Oz ...a distant land where there aren't faux hippies who camp out in your home a few months and have only hate rather than gratitude. Matriarchal Aussie hippies believe in keeping their fathers around... so there's far less divorce and fatherless puppies in Oz!
I've been waiting anxiously for Buffy to go through the final months of quarantine before she's allowed to run on certain parts of my beach. How will she have puppies when I have a second floor flat? Maybe my neighborly residents of the Parthenon won't keeping them in one corner of the little atrium where we all dry clothes. My beach towels always get stolen by surfers walking through the yard desperate for a towel to dry off!
I never got around to renewing my American license so I can only ride a bike. I would never have got used to driving on the left side.I'm too ADD so I depend on my good neighborly Aussie friends for a lift especially to Byron Bay! That little Shangra La , that Serendipity with nymphs way too young for Garvald or?? Maybe he will find his Ganga maiden. Maybe she won't be bipolar with a litter of children?? Maybe she will like Oz ganga from Nimbin! and not be another one of these reformed hippies who once pretended they loved Hunter S Thompson (what a load of pseudo hippy pagan crap and lies!)
Soon my wonderful friend might give me a ride to TannyMorel to see where Dad was born and find out which house he was born in? Will there be any spiritual connections when I visit that town and go on further into the Blue Mountains??
My health is so much better since I decided to stay here most of the year. There was only so much that I could do for my Native American community with chess. At least I finally got the 100 sq . yds of chess board painted with different colored stains that should last for a few years. We were able to play some human chess with other schools. We even did a play in front of TV cameras from stations around the state. We were doing great until an old psycho bipolar gf told the school district that I ocassionally talked about the benefits of herb and the site got national publicity. They forced me to resign with a great reference of course but fortunately most Australians didn't see the expose on sped teachers that are middle aged stoners.

Oh well, know I finally have a lap top and don't have to worry about them searching my computer to see where I've been surfing. That crazy lady and even her bitch on wheels, Mommy dearest...(these 2 had an ongoing mutal hate between each other, the Joan Crawford look a like confessed to me while the witch was in the bathroom that she had her daughter committed as if that was going to change my opinion of her? It's amazing about jealousy between women even when it's mother and daughter. The mother always wants to feel superior to her smart child so she has her committed.What kind of Mom would commits her daughter to a loony bin??) mounted all sorts of accusations.The old lady and her sent many nasty comments to me and even to the superintendent. The daughter hated her mother and was still desperate for the love her mother never gave her...
Oh well,I'm glad I can run down into the cleansing Pacific anytime I want to! I feel so free of anger and curses when I'm floating in the cleansing waves of the Pacific. I see my little blonde Buffy barking at me running into the waves but fearing stingrays...
ok so
they even interviewed her and her daughter on Fox news. They attempted to make it a national story as a way to "swift boat" my credibility as a special needs teacher.
Fox news and most neocons were very upset at my expose of Newsbusters and the neos. They hated the chess movie about the imperialistic capitalistic neoconquistadors who claimed to be Christians (sound familiar?) They were invading ancient America circa 1500 ad .The guerilla warfare tactics taught to the native american empires by the time traveller sucessfully sent the neoconquistadors back to Spain without any oil!
The neoconservatives thought that the movie was unpatriotic since it drew parallels to the past and the evil ways of the current neoempire. (They managed to steal most of the elections again in November/06 so they kept power.)
Well, I'm wondering about keeping up with the my relatives in America.

Tuesday
I miss clay and marty. I wonder if they will graduate or even stay out of jail now that I'm not there anymore. I miss the chess players and their sucess in academics. Folks get jealous whenever you are sucessful. I don't miss the Jedi Jesus and the Borg. She neglected her own students but was the first to point out that I wasn't following their IEPs. They were learning a lot of math and learning to read but whenever folks are sucessful, it's time for the Borg to be on the warpath!
I sent off a belated birthday card to a loved one. I'm sure it will be taken the wrong way. It seems as if the more you want to show your love for folks the more they resent you. I guess showering folks with love and generosity is the best revenge.

"The One Heart Song Prayer Project was founded 46 years ago. We are an international volunteer, not-for-profit organization dedicated to teaching and assisting the global community to live in joy, harmony, and respect, and to leave the earth a better place for future generations. The two common denominators of most members are a desire for world peace and balance, and the joining in a global collective prayer .Thursday night, 7:30 P.M., has become the established time for people of all faiths to join together in prayer to focus on world healing. It began with one circle of people of all faiths focusing on harmony and peace, and has grown to hundreds of circles that contribute to this world prayer network.The network includes circles of the indigenous peoples of North and South America, Africa, China, India, Turkey, Australia, New Guinea, Indonesia, Asia, and what was the U.S.S.R. As each circle connects, it contributes to the creation of a halo of love surrounding the earth."
http://www.yunsaisociety.com/Frmf2.htm


The elections are coming up in 3 weeks and I see how this country has become so divided. It is so filled with hate and anger. I want to escape to Australia where folks are friendly. Families stay together even when the going gets tough. Children don't have several different fathers that are never part of their lives.

There is so much hypocrisy in this country. Reformed sinners appear to the be the worst and the most moralistic. Especially if they used to do lots of drugs and quit.They used to be hippies that smoked lots of weed and now they date cowboys that drink Capt. Morgan! tdf Suddenly they are on their high horse and judge teachers that ocassionally imbibe at the end of the day to lower their blood pressure instead of booze!
Bush is a prime example for being a reformed sinner. He smoked weed , did cocaine and drank a lot. Now rumor has it that he's drinking again.
Unfortunately teachers are put on this pedestal where they are not allowed to sin, where as the sinners are the first ones to throw stones if their children are taught by them. So they keep them home schooled where they are very often neglected and lack the ability to socialize with other kids their own age. They are shut out from the rest of the world because of an angry fearful parent.
Yes ocassionally I have enjoyed some herb but usually on weekends..it lowers blood pressure! There has been a history of it in my family and I don't need any pharmaceuticals. The walmart machine registers about 120/70 but it's about 10 points or so higher when I haven't used any in a while.
An old gf even told me that her doctor recommended it so she wouldn't have misscarriages. Another bloke told me that his cancer went into remission when the Dr. suggested it.

I enjoy the challenge of helping students with emotional problems and severe learning disabilities. It can be a very stressful job, but I try my best and feel the rewards of reaching them on some days. Other days it's nice to relax and enjoy a little after a very hard day.

For those readers who pass judgement think about your own life and your many mistakes before you continue to cast your stones.

Other than that I had a great day enjoying riding in the mountains with Raphael. It's amazing going a little higher up you see beautiful Ponderosa Pines and alpine meadows . You forget that a few miles away and you are in a desert climate!

Sting rays into the heart!


Garvald asks one of the neighbors who would play him if they made a movie about his life?
will they play him in a chess movie? Robert Deniro, Tom Hanks... Robin Williams??. Robin would undertand ADD the most since he's bipolar! He's so excited about the chess and needs to tell someone who also believes in his dream!
Of course the story is fictitious. (I am actually in Australia writing all of this about an imaginary sped teacher.)
He rides his old reliable 10 speed down to the touch football game between the classes. Later they all go down to the bonfire party and competition between the classes. He sees all of the tribes gathering before the fires. He is so glad the kids are coming together and wishes for more community involvement. G gets more adult recruits for his chess project that will involve the whole community.
He imagines the whole community watching a human chess match!

Ok G, when will you start painting it?

I dunno?? I'm kinda of in a funky situation....worried about whether to pass Clay and Marty hoping that they'll get with it. He knows that if they do well, others will claim the credit. If they do poorly, G is to blame.

Every afternoon he has to deal with Betty Lou's snide remarks or in the am if he has to walk past her lookout from the lifeskills class. She yells, Mr. G!
Oh, no. does he have to respond to her daily anger?? It's always something. She is constantly whining about something.
At least he's not in Bagdad worried about walking on mines. He knows that the mine of Betty Lou's ascerbic mouth will explode with something that he has to respond to. She walks by asking about the ED students. He doesn't even want to talk to her. She never bothers to answer his questions so he walks on!
Cat got your tongue?
She yells out.
Later she nags him about unplugging her computer embilical cord so he could help the students have acess....so she starts a tirade later on about how he only uses the computer to teach the kids!
"You think your shit doesn't stink Mr. G!

He jokes later with the janitor who witnessed her tantrum.
"How does she know about my opinion of my feces aroma??"

Happy Birthday Alene! I love you so much!
It happened yesterday and that fact totally slipped my mind as doing well with school consumes me.,,,Alene would be about 48 ! Oh well, so many failed relationships in my life...
Alene was a relative success in that she loved me so much even though I could have been so much better to her. I was happy that I was able to spend a lot of vacation time with her. Vegas, a ski trip, and seeing Ron's new babies. That was another time just after Mom had passed away. My last thanksgiving with my older brother, Ron. I was ostracized by so many including my family after she passed away

A long time ago, I had a little happiness when a child called me Daddy and that feeling warmed the cockles of my heart.
Maybe I could be a Daddy?? Nah...

"You will never be able to handle being a father no matter how much you pray!" she coldly said...

3/17/07
"



So you put all your efforts in helping these children become good chess players! This is how you can find solace amidst all your failures and embarassments in your life!...or sometimes you just feel like hanging out on the beach and really escaping the toils of reality and lost loves...
none of your efforts will materialize..
you would only succeed at being a beach bum away from the anger of humanity! Maybe your heart will be the third victim of a nasty stingray.
She'll hop up onto your boat and sting you as hard as she can with all of her pent up venom!


once, she wrote some beautiful poetry:

"I close my eyes and I can see you
I want to reach out to you and hold you close
your emotion rolls into me in waves of sadness, desperation
I feel your longing, your confusiont
the hopeless questions
that find no answers
you seem to be reaching to me blindly and unaware that I am in a different realm
and cannot get to you
but can you feel me
I am with you
I can only lend the comfort of a thought
I can only embrace you and hold your soul close to mine
and while I cannot touch you
you will know that I am there
and that I love you beyond time and reason
that we will get through this journey
and find our peace once more
you are my love of my soul
my spirit companion
you are my infinity"

after we broke up this her last email to me
it was about her engagement ring:
"
"The ring symbolizes infinity and you are not it so I will keep the ring!"

che sera , sera!

then a few years later she writes some threatening blackmail in an attempt to malign my career: written anonymously

"wow. so it's really the ,,,,,, blank mountain range and blank High School, to be exact...wonder what the principal there would think of the school computer being used for cyberstalking or the special ed teacher that smokes pot and blogs about it? hmmm "

she had actually called the principal in Wewoka after we had broke up ! The principal there was cool and not easily swayed emotionally unstable women that have nothing to do with his school.

on a more positive note:
I still have hope for success in the chess and then wonder if it will ever happen?? I chatted with Brad and he thought it might be easy to start the project!
the worries of acid to clean the cement concerns my error prone ways...All the students will need to wear protective gloves and shirts!
he'll have to wear old pants and an old shirt before they take on the project! Get your mind off of past failures !
Please energies of the universe help me let go of these chains that bind me to the failure of the past!
Pray for the future and it will happen!

Happy St. Paddy's day!
I finally got out of the state of hibernation to come into the rest of the world of civization...I am almost sometimes to scared to come out of what has become my comfortable zone!...I relax knowing that I don't have to drive anywhere for the next few days! >>>

But the boredom overwhelms... but the security of knowing I don't have she stood up to him. most of the time bullies do not know what to do if someone stands up to them, especially if they are old bullies and it is a habit and they forget what kind of physical behaviour they had to inflict on people that made them a bully in the first place. to worry about driving is so goo.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

21,000 VISITS!!

Garvald asks one of the neighbors who will play him in his chess movie? Robert Deniro, Tom Hanks or Robin Williams. Robin would undertand ADD the most since he's bipolar! He's so excited about the chess and needs to tell someone who also believes in his dream!
Of course the story is fictitious. (I am actually in Australia writing all of this about an imaginary sped teacher.)

He rides his old reliable 10 speed down to the touch football game between the classes. Later they all go down to the bonfire party and competition between the classes. He sees all of the tribes gathering before the fires. He is so glad the kids are coming together and wishes for more community involvement. G gets more adult recruits for his chess project that will involve the whole community.
He imagines the whole community watching a human chess match!

Ok G, when will you start painting it?

I dunno?? I'm kinda of in a funky situation....worried about whether to pass Clay and Marty hoping that they'll get with it. He knows that if they do well, others will claim the credit. If they do poorly, G is to blame.

Every afternoon he has to deal with Betty Lou's snide remarks or in the am if he has to walk past her lookout from the lifeskills class. She yells, Mr. G!
Oh, no. does he have to respond to her daily anger?? It's always something. She is constantly whining about something.
At least he's not in Bagdad worried about walking on mines. He knows that the mine of Betty Lou's ascerbic mouth will explode with something that he has to respond to. She walks by asking about the ED students. He doesn't even want to talk to her. She never bothers to answer his questions so he walks on!
Cat got your tongue?
She yells out.
Later she nags him about unplugging her computer embilical cord so he could help the students have acess....so she starts a tirade later on about how he only uses the computer to teach the kids!
"You think your shit doesn't stink Mr. G!

He jokes later with the janitor who witnessed her tantrum.
"How does she know about my opinion of my feces aroma??"

Happy Birthday Alene ,
It happened yesterday and that fact totally slipped my mind as doing well with school consumes me.,,,Alene would be about 48 ! Oh well, so many failed relationships in my life,
Alene was a relative success in that she loved me so much even though I could have been so much better to her. I was happy that I was able to spend a lot of vacation time with her. Vegas, a ski trip, and seeing Ron's new babies. That was another time just after Mom had passed away. My last thanksgiving with my older brother, Ron. I was ostracized by so many including my family after she passed away

A long time ago, I had a little happiness when a child called me Daddy and that feeling warmed the cockles of my heart.
Maybe I could be a Daddy?? Nah...

"You will never be able to handle being a father no matter how much you pray!"


So you put all your efforts in helping these children become good chess players! This is how you can find solace amidst all your failures and embarassments in your life!...or sometimes you just feel like hanging out on the beach and really escaping the toils of reality and lost loves...
none of your efforts will materialize..
you would only succeed at being a beach bum away from the anger of humanity! Maybe your heart will be the third victim of a nasty stingray.
She'll hop up onto your boat and sting you as hard as she can with all of her pent up venom!
"The ring symbolizes infinity and you are not it so I will keep the ring!"



yet I still have hope for success in the chess and then wonder if it will ever happen?? I chatted with Mathew and he thought it might be easy to start the project!
the worries of acid to clean the cement concerns my error prone ways...All the students will need to wear protective gloves and shirts!
he'll have to wear old pants and an old shirt before they take on the project! Get your mind off of past failures !
Please energies of the universe help me let go of these chains that bind me to the failure of the past!
Pray for the future and it will happen!

Oh by the way, Michele Church left the pleasant threatening blackmailing comment on my blog....what a sad lady!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

If We Paint It, They Will Come!

So Garvald is in town for his seminar, seeing Jesus even bragging about all the great things he is doing with His chess players! He wonders if even Jesus will attempt to overshadow his own accomplishments with his chess players. They all have lunch at a restaurant on the gregarious proactive principal. Jesus is bragging about his accomplisments in
"My classes!" Garvald wonders if the real Jesus had an ego too?? I suppose so=! I'm sure others wondered about this bloke's ego if he kept saying that God's his Dad and that he can get as many fish from the lake besides making tons of wine (what a party that I wouldn't be invited to) from all the water in the very shallow lake across highway 666! ( sorry, I was getting carried away!)
So Garvald eats his lunch with Jesus, Julio, the Borg, his favorite Iep facilitator, our secretary and the Principal. It could have been an Iep meeting. The Borg, Jesus, Julio and even the principal love to dominate conversations so we were never without words!
Tuesday
Betty lou comes to me with her situation and complained that she came here for the self contained class. I know how she wants to be the mother to my boys. I listen to her and don't want to open up an argument so I only aknowledge what she's saying.
Lately, they have been falling apart at least as far as grades are concerned.I'm torn between passing him or not. If he goes to after school tutoring then maybe I could feel right about passing him??
I'm feeling a little tired but I'm much more pumped than I am early in the morning and then the lull in the middle of the afternoon. It takes time for me to finally get going and then I'm primed by the end of the day.
Jesus asked me if I was teaching one of his severely retarded work study students. He says that he has to check out her IEP as if I was neglecting her. Well, J, as soon as you get off the computer she can learn math. It's up to me to get ports for the computers.
I joke with Julio about my reputation for being "stingy" (how would you say it in a Venezuelan accent?) and how would you react if Jesus came down from heaven and took over your life skill's class? Suddenly all of your best chess players are under His case management and are ready to convert and be part of his expanded following.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Full Moon over the Serendipachi Mountains

Full Moon over the Serendipachi Mountains!
Garvald plays poker with his neighbors not worried about the poker game while he intoxicates himself with the company. He walks Buffy after the game looking up at his moon running behind the clouds.
Another week has happened with his Navaho tribe and he is ready for some more adventures!
He is more aware of his finity in his mortal shell. Another teacher about his age has a stroke helping him realize how little time there is to do the magnificent things he can do while enjoying life as much as he can.
Betty lou makes peace with him setting up a meeting to discuss the behavior contract for Marty. Julio with his Venezuelan accent loves to hear himself speak, so G brings out the chess clock so he can get a point in edgewise . He wants to let him know how J wants to dominate conversations with his Venezuelan accent that others love to hear so much! more later

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The Chess Blossom!

I'm torn between the Balloon Fest or visiting Raphael and Erowyn for Aiden's first birthday in their soulmate haven! They have the most beautiful boy! Breast fed babies are so often the most beautiful babies. M always said that about my head and wonder why my mind loves to go there?? Subconciously does my mind go to that wonderful warm feeling of my long departed mother's warm milk? Does this deep hidden feeling still long for me to be involved again in that beautiful feeling?? Will I ever be a father and relive that wonderful experience through my children?
(post script a day later): I keep talking about weird coincidences! I came home late last night after getting sidetracked on newsbusters and there was this late night news show talking about how mothers are sending their milk to the starving and dying babies of Africa. It is helping them survive. They are able to fight off the aids and start gaining weight again. They are looking so much healthier! Isn't that weird??

Maybe I could still see them on Saturday, pick up some herb and then be in the Land of Enchantment's big city Saturday night??... to see the balloons rise early in the morning! It would be so nice to pick up some herb for the humongous driving through the desert! And it would be such a wonderful site mixed in with the pleasant buzz of euphoria??

So many birthdays in October! Marla's child, Sarah or Sally will be born around October 18th! That would be such an amazing serindipitous(?) coincidence if she is born on the same day of Alene's birthday! I still have that larged framed picture of her as a baby from a very long time ago!
Marla's husband is helping me with the chess project and we need to expedite it before the child arrives. I wanted to buy the paint (stain) for the maroon and gold colors tonight but I had to prepare 3 Ieps for a very long day tomorrow!
Please energies of the universe, help give me strength for such a long day tomorrow.
Give me the will power to push the boulder of this fantastic chess dream! The boulder will create this fantastic avalanche of energy for this community! The force will create this wonderful flower blossoming in our courtyard! There will be so much more painting in the courtyard! It will be a Phoenix in this long dormant desert!
How wonderful to celebrate it with the poker party in my neighbor's garage and then up at sunrise to head for the b'day party! They have such a beautiful place at the base of the mountains right in the middle of the Arizona desert! The different moist environment is like an island or oasis ! It forms it's own ecosystem the way Kilimanjaro does in the middle of the African desert!
Thursday 10/5
Today was almost as if the Energies of the universe answered my prayers! I had compliments all around for the Ieps and I was so stressed about them. They lasted all day but even the Borg said I did a wonderful job! The principal kept giving me the thumbs up too! 3 of the students had been misdiagnosed (?) with the MR (mental retardation) label. They were now making up for lost time and were doing so much better in school! We were excited about helping them gradually get the reading, writing and math levels closer to students their own age!
To top off a wonderful day, my chess players were eagerly waiting to play chess and be in the tournament on the 14th! I was 2-2 against another faculty member who stopped to get revenge on his 3 losses at the start of the year!"

Well I decided to try a new theme for this blog… Sometimes I’m amazed at all the posts that I’ve written over the years and comes up 2000s...