Dad's funeral is on Sunday and I visited with the Anglican minister who will be giving the service.
Today was another gorgeous day but it's not so fun all alone thinking of the family. We were all together on the beach with our other close families 40 years ago. I wish that my old self could go back and talk to my young self to enjoy myself as much as possible and how much I would have had becoming Australian! There are so many young Asians that are allowed here and wishing that I had the chance to really grow up here and even bring up a family!
I'm thankful for scoring the ganja from OZ! It sure makes helps put a perspective on this place that I love so much. It was nice chatting with Lilly and her dog. I was on the phone calling long distance at only 4cents a minute!
I was telling Muffy about all the temptations here. I still think I'm not too old to start a family here and have another life in this country. Is it selfish of me to want to start anew here? I told Muffy to get over here quick before I give into all these propositions! (just kidding, but I would have to have them sign a prenipples agreement!)
Dad's service is this Sunday at 2pm which is saturday evening in the US!
Wednesday: May 31
Ok, I'll just visit with you while I have a few minutes at the cyber cafe in Surfer's Paradise. We just buried Dad in the surf this morning..The sun came out of the ocean just as I imagined it would but differently than her appearance for Mom in 91. It formed into 3 parts divided by the clouds. I thought "the father, son, the holy ghost and then I came across this site devoted to native American beliefs a couple of months later:
The Original Instructions spoke of the trine as “Male/Female/Child.”
Male dominated religions speak of it as “Father/Son/Holy Spirit.”
It represents the Third Principle: (the Principle of Three)First there was One. From One there came the Two; From the Two there became the Three; and from the Three all things became.
1 - Love ... 2 - Life ... 3 - Light.
This was just as the sun appeared before my brother and me!
I become anxious about all the things that I have to do while getting Dad's place ready to be leased out. It has the best view and convenience of the beach. My brother and I had the luxury of just getting into our suits anytime we wanted at least as an escape from his constant nagging and controlling ways.
He has done a lot more work getting everything ready and the biggest obstacle as Muffy well knows of just throwing things away and getting them ready to be taken by goodwill agencies!
In the meantime all I would like to find is a little herb before I make my trek to Nimbin, the hippy capital of Oz!
With my ADD, I forgot my expired license and even the international driver's license that I had set out in my home in the village of Utopachi. At least Muffy complimented me on getting everything ready for the trip. The only thing I really forgot packing extremely light was one of the most important things, the driver's license! I even asked myself while petting Buffy if I forgot anything. I wondered what I was doing putting the licence in the glove compartment. I've asked Mark to look in my house a few times for the international driver's license!
Muffy has become more understanding of it but my older brother, Ron, has no sympathy. He can't even trust me to be responsible about Dad's condo (flat) on the beach! I suppose that irresponsibility and not being up to par is one of the many reasons he never invites me to see his family as his kids grow up! He thinks I don't even know their names. I told him Graham and Diane (or is it Diana like our cousin, just kidding. He still hasn't forgiven me for mispronouncing her name).
"You never had a problem when Mom called you John Ron!"
Oh well, now I will only get the nagging from him on the phone. He is the opposite of me being very organized.
Muffy likes him after chatting with such a nice man (cept he doesn't show that side). Oh well. Why is it sometimes the hardest just getting along with family?
I think of the many barbs while we argued.
When he felt like I wasn't doing my share or I would just argue the necessity of all the things that he wanted. He even wants to charge me rent for our place yet he must make at least 20 times my salary. He never wanted to chat or show his human side.. maybe the only time was to put on a front at the funeral when I broke down saying a little piece about my father.
Oh well, che sera, sera. I have some freedom now and now the only connection will be our relatives. I'm sure it would piss him off, if I moved here!
He wouldn't even share his custard apple this morning even after I asked him to save some of it last night.
I guess anger is one of the feelings after you lose someone very dear!
6/6/06 eve!, Oh no!
Well I just discovered the secret Ganja society here with my neighbors as with everywhere I've lived including the okie zone! We discovered the bucket bong with a nice young engaged couple downstairs. You cut open a 2 liter pop bottle in half, put it inside a bucket of water, put the bowl in the center of the cap and as you lift the bottle out of the water light the bowl of herbal medicine. The smoke goes into the bottle from pressure then after its all been lit you inhale all the smoke! What a cool aussie invention!
Alot has happened but I only have a few minutes left to summarize a few main events.
I will be on the Aussie comedy channel in October when I met some blokes hypnotized to be meter maids dressed in bikinis! I don't know I was being filmed until a lady came up and asked if I'd mind being on national tv! They were being hypnotized for a candid camera type show!
Oh and Baskin and Robbins of the Gold Coast owns the huge beach house (looks like a fortress) next to our Parthenon apts. I can't get over how Hedges Avenues is the richest street in Queensland!
other news..I've been playing a lot of chess with old blokes on Cavell Street and they are very good! One gentleman had a severe accident to his brain. Chess has excercized his brain muscles so much that he can think so much clearer than after the accident. It helps me realize that I might have a calling to help these native American students in Utopachi!
Maybe I'll send a postcard wishing that my kids(my love children) were here with me without their angry mothers! Too bad their moms hate me so much! They'll probably try to get a lawyer to say sending postcards to my biologic children once a year is harrasment!
That's what the average single mother has evolved into in the sad united states of bipolarity! Minimum wage no longer pays for gas and housing so they depend on welfare or are only just one step away! This has become the American way! Thank you, George Bush!"
6/24/07June 24, 2007, 4:10 PM another wasted sunday, bored and depressed about the summer flowing by while I blink and feel sorry for myself? How do I get out of this..when Im really fitting as much in the day as I can!!
The surrogate children that I teach love chess. The 300$ after taxes, that I earn for coaching the whole year, I sink totally into the program since there are no funds. I asked the woodshop class to make giant chess pieces for outdoor chess with the lumber and paint I bought. I offer an outlet for students twice a week in my classroom that might be otherwise be getting into trouble. They painted a 100 sq ft yard chess board with the school colors and beautiful indigenous wildlife in the surrounding border of the cement chess board. The biggest complaint about the school is the ugly grey cement building. Now there is a beautiful board in the center with the "cougar pride" mural right behind it.
We have played chess outside a few times and hope to have some human chess next year if I decide to go back.
I would have loved to have this opportunity as a child especially if there was nothing but poverty in my home life living in a shack with no heat.
I give because it makes me feel good inside especially when I see these students walking tall now when they have had mr labels since early in school.
"one of the greatest pleasures in life is doing something great when others says you can't and proving them wrong!"
I hope this doesn't qualify as babble to you.
a lost love:
today i deeply appreciate the fact that my children are healthy, and happy, and compassionate. i appreciate my sweet and loving friends, the ones that make life seem more interesting, and meaningful. i appreciate the fact that i am not living with a madman. he is not mean, and he is good hearted, and he loves me in his peculiar way. i appreciate the gift of my house, and the financial security i have been given. i appreciate the fact that my family and friends and pets are healthy. i appreciate the presence of spirit in my life in ways that i am easily able to recognize and that are realized at just the right times. and today, i am particularly appreciative of this blog, because if i had not sat down and thought about it, i might have forgotten for a moment that i am so deeply grateful for these things in the rush of daily activity and domesticity.
What am I thankful for?I am lucky to have finally found a very fulfilling job and be financially secure. I have had very loving nurturing parents that were always there for me. They took me around the world and were dedicated to my education.I had a strong nuclear family with my parents always together. They taught me to exercise and always eat healthy. I was very fortunate to have had a wife who loved me with all of her heart and it made me realize that only the good die young. I am happy to realize what true love was instead of just a facade and getting used.