Monday, August 01, 2005

Peter Pan Syndrome

I have a little time to chat with you today. I hope to do a cut and paste about the above topic that many people throughout the world display symptoms of. They are reluctant to take on the responsibilities of adulthood and I remember reading an essay about the Gilligan Syndrome which is the modern day version. I have been impressed with Johnny Depp's version of James Barrie, the author of Peter Pan, a play about a boy that never grows up. The movie, Finding Neverland, captures the author's feelings about a child who lost his youth dealing with the death of his father. He made the play with a way to reach the childhood fantasy of this sad young boy.

I think about Johnny Depp's impression of James Barrie as a funny man enjoying the company of children more than adults. Julie Christie does a good version of the the grandmother of these children. I feel that I can empathize with his feelings by enjoying hanging out with young folks often more than adults that have squelched the child within themselves and lost the ability to play.

Today was another great day, getting a wake up call about 9:30 from Muffy, among other great news and the bright hope of being able to accomplish the things I need to do without the normal feelings of being overwhelmed. She was visiting Lillian, who helped get me started with my own blog and the authoress of ,
(everything you wanted to know about Bush but were afraid to ask in a public place without fear of reprisal or your gf wanting to hit you!. If I say Bush or Karl Rove even in a normal voice in a public place, Muffy becomes more upset than if I were to cuss!).
Lillian had said to her that my blog has a 4 rating and hers has a 6. That amazes me with the huge amount of traffic that her website brings in along with the significant revenue for her family from advertising. I have no idea how much traffic I'm getting or what criteria is used to get a rating from Google?

Do you know, Lillian?? Maybe you might be able to give me a buzz sometime before the public forgets about Karl Rove? ...he he, (just kidding)...
Or George gets impeached for all his lying to Americans about everything!

I gave a Charles a ride to pick up his truck from the dealership and then we went to Jimmy's Egg for some tasty 3 egg omelettes of Monterrey cheese, ham, bacon and onions! I know you are tired of me complaining about the other neighbor, but I feel I can't give enough compliments to his antithesis, Charles! He has been a muse and wonderful listener to all my travails, heartbreaks, and experiencing the evolution of my own blog and especially the dog u mental ary.
We started going for walks and I remember almost as if it was just last week on a warm day in the late fall when he mentioned Sherman's March, one of the first kind of documentaries of it's genre that actually inspired Michael Moore to do his famous films. He came over from his busy day, this afternoon to watch the first drafts of my film editing. Charles has served so much as a nonjudgemental muse of this revolutionary (?) type of Garvaldian filming (she rolls her eyes)...

By another ironic (?) coincidence when I looked up this syndrome, one of the first essays on google was written be my favorite High School AP English teacher at McQuaid Jesuit H.S.!!??
He has the same name and middle initial so it must be him??

The Peter Pan Syndrome
William J. O'Malley, S.J.
Editor's Note:
"What's the matter with young people today?" is the cry echoing across the country from parents, educators, law enforcement and clergy. We inwardly shudder as we take note of the rising incidences of teen violence, suicide, drug use, and pregnancy. Worse still, and more pervasive, is the apathy and complacency that expresses itself in a lack of involvement in the community. This concerns us all, but few know fully what to do.
Father O'Malley, in his thought-provoking, four-part article, "Peter Pan Syndrome," explores these issues. In Part I, he examines how adolescence should be the time for preparing a child to take part in the adult world. Part II focuses on what is happening instead, what Father O'Malley describes as the Peter Pan Syndrome -- the "commitment to non-commitment." Part III probes the heart of the problem, our "mangled notion of what freedom really means." Finally, in Part IV, Father O'Malley offers suggestions for the future.
Part I.
Grownup and Adult
"Grownup" happens automatically; "adult" takes effort. Without any cooperation on our part, secret distilleries in our bodies start pumping out magic juices to turn us into physical grownups. Physical maturity is only a small part of the process, however, and even the young see the real difference between people who have grownup bodies and people who act like human adults. We all know people well past 50 who are less psychologically mature than many teenagers.
An individual must choose to be a human adult, and work at it. The difference between grownup and adult is a matter of self-possession: taking responsibility for who one is and what one does--no excuses, no fudging, no lies. Every grownup has a personality, but an adult has character. To the dismay of the young, "character" involves a great many qualities they have always found irksome: commitment, accountability, involvement--irksome because these qualities involve surrendering the blissful (if only apparent) freedom of childhood.
Adolescence is the slow process of bridging the abyss between childish psychological dependency and adult psychological autonomy. Erik Erikson, noted psychologist, says the two major supports of that bridge are a sense of personal identity and a sense of loyalty (fidelity, commitment, belonging). On the one hand, children must evolve the sense of self-sameness, of being the protagonists of unique stories. Yet at the same time, they must also develop a sense of involvement with other stories, knowing themselves to be contributing members of a widening community.
In return for the advantages of living in an enriching web of relationships, each of us has to contribute our fair share. Ironically, the price of legitimate autonomy is a degree of compromise and self-surrender. In order to exercise genuine freedom, we must surrender a modicum of personal autonomy in order to contribute to the whole. In return, commitment becomes an integral component of self-esteem.
In Erikson's evolutionary scheme, human life is a natural series of unsettling crises, each one a new opportunity for growth. With each new gain, however, there is a loss. After the traumatic crisis of birth, infancy ought to reestablish a sense of trust and hope. In childhood, beginning around two, weaning and muscle control offer the child the possibility of independence--at the price of all the prior pampering. In the play years, when the child is thrust away from parents among other children, he or she should develop a sense of socialization and meaning outside the sheltering but narrow scope of the family. In the school years, even wider horizons open as the child discovers a sense of skill and competence to prepare to contribute to the tribe. In youth, the individual ought to evolve identity and loyalty--a sense of "who I am" and "where I belong." This prepares the individual for the next stage of young adulthood, where he or she joins that newfound self with another in a new sense of intimacy and partnership. Finally, the goal is adulthood: the evolved individual contributing to and enriched by an even wider segment of the societal web than his or her own limited and limiting family life.
When young mothers are expecting, they read every book available on child care and belabor their friends with questions. I don't know many parents, though, who read every book available on adolescence, trying to find how they can best continually challenge their children to become more and more responsible, committed, adult.
Too often we say, "It's a phase. They'll outgrow it." I can't imagine parents of an infant contenting themselves with that. We cannot just dump the child onto the high school. It's a very difficult, time- (and patience-) consuming job, but we can't let young people coast, any more than a good parent can let a baby just eat and vegetate. We have to challenge them. Every day.

Maybe this confirms that the above author was my teacher at McQuaid, what a great teacher and devotee of knowledge! I was also in one of great plays that he directed, "Becket" at the same time that he was flying to Washington DC to play in the movie,"The Exorcist"!

Live City Cams

A priest on both sides of the camera
By Jack GarnerDemocrat and Chronicle
(October 13, 1999) -- The Rev. William J. O'Malley remembers his most challenging day as an actor.
Yes, I said "actor." O'Malley was the most prominent of three real-life priests who had roles in The Exorcist, William Friedkin's just-reissued classic tale of demonic possession.
O'Malley was one of several Jesuits who were advisors for the film; but he'd also long been interested in the theater, and eventually got a substantial supporting role in the film.
He's "Father Dyer," and is shown playing the piano at the party, giving advice to his beleaguered best friend, Father Karras (Jason Miller), and administering last rites following the sacrificial death at the end of the movie.
And that's the scene that was giving him trouble, as they filmed at night on the streets of Georgetown.
"Friedkin said I was doing it by the numbers," O'Malley remembers.
"I didn't understand because take after take I was giving last rites to my best friend," O'Malley says. Apparently the director didn't see the emotion O'Malley was feeling.
"He said, 'Bill, do you trust me?' You always trust someone until they ask you, so I said yes, and he belted me right across the mouth. Then we shot the scene.
"When you see my hand shaking as I bless him, it's no acting. I was shaking."
And now, with the new cut's extended ending, O'Malley gets a bit more screen time in the epilogue with the late Lee J. Cobb. "I think this ending is much more upbeat," O'Malley says.
Perhaps typically, O'Malley has a spiritual rationale for the new ending.
"The director at the time didn't have an understanding of the resurrection, the idea of rebirth. This version is really the writer's cut. (Writer William Peter Blatty is a Jesuit-trained Georgetown graduate.)
"The new ending shows that life goes on. I previously looked glum in the street at the end. Now I wave and smile."
When The Exorcist first made waves -- as a best-selling novel -- O'Malley was an English teacher and drama coach at McQuaid Jesuit High School in Rochester, N.Y.
He was recruited to review the book at a local library program, and he sent a copy of his review to Blatty, expecting nothing more to happen.
"I got a letter back. He took exception because I complained that the Jesuits in the book were too cutsy-flip. Later we met for dinner in New York, and after I tried to impress him for 15 minutes, he laughed, and said, 'You're being cutsy-flip.' "
Later when The Exorcist was being filmed, Blatty brought O'Malley and other Jesuits aboard as advisors -- and as actors, hoping to give the film authenticity.
"In my case, they were looking for a genial boob priest," O'Malley says with a self-deprecating laugh, "And I walked into it like a hand into a surgeon's glove."
Actually, O'Malley is quite good in the film. Then 42, he had the craggy look of a Montgomery Clift.
In the days following the film's controversial release, O'Malley had considerably more than 15 minutes of fame as Rochester's "Exorcist priest."
"People were constantly calling me to exorcise their house, their cat, their daughter. I told people, 'If you think I'm going to take the devil out of your cat and jump out the window, you're crazy."'
More than a quarter-century later, O'Malley is still proud of the film, especially because "it doesn't make evil attractive. Today we have Teflon skins against evil. This film stripped the glamour from evil."
He remembers that most people he encountered in the Catholic Church loved the film, "especially the Conservatives," because of its strong portrayal of evil, and the triumph of good.
But after the excitement of the film diminished, O'Malley went back to teaching, directing pupils in school plays, and writing. (He's the author of at least a dozen religion-oriented works, including the just-published "God: The Oldest Question.")
He left McQuaid and Rochester in 1986, after 22 years, and was eventually assigned to the Bronx, where he teaches at Fordham Prep and Fordham University. He's directing his 89th play, a Fordham Prep production of Beckett.
Now 69, O'Malley has no thoughts of retiring. "I'll keep plodding onward. If I retired I'd go cuckoo."
And he says the possibility of acting always remains. "I was acting when I broke the amniotic sac," says the Buffalo native. "They say I screamed for three days.
"I wrote my first play when I was in fifth grade, after I wasn't chosen for the official school play about Indians."
In fact, O'Malley's love of performing is evident in The Exorcist. As he plays the piano at a Georgetown party, he says a line he personally contributed to Blatty's script. Consider it an O'Malley motto:
"My idea of heaven is a solid white nightclub with me as the headliner -- and they LOVE ME!"

Tuesday, August 2nd 739pm- Hudstoned revisited
So rather than drive 10 miles to the peaceful sanctuary of The Red Rooster where my loyal sidekick, Buffy is allowed (it's funny how the other red animal, the dog has a saloon named after it. It also is a safe place for heathens to go in Oklahoma!), I drove to Henry Hudstoned for a few of their tiny 10 oz arm lifts after exchanging a movie for "The Exorcist" at Blockbuster's across the street. I had a positive conversation with two of the always friendly staff from this establishment before taking the chance with the negative vibes, who's only hobby seems to be drinking, pool and cigarettes. After about an hour and one of his cohorts left, Fred (I forgot his name) came over and asked about my site. He said it was very dry without any humor when he visited it a few months ago. I stated that I had been travelling, where I am much happier. He might find humor in some of the more recent posts. To Fred, it obviously seemed like I wasn't happy from the writing. I asked the man without any grey hairs in his goatee if he could elaborate. He couldn't, but in his smug way, as he left for the pool table and maybe play with one of the bandana boys, that I ought to ask an English teacher how I ought to make it less "dry". I apreciated his input, but I would not expect a compliment from a place where the patrons seem to feel better when they cut a person down first before being able to give any constructive argument or criticism. But Fred, I will add more moisture to my writings and try to be a little less sad when I stand on my metaphoric "soap box"! He was upset that my site was so one sided. Well, Duh, Fred if you gather anything from my title and obvious dissatisfaction with the closeminded folks that reside at the club. That is one of the reasons why I quit coming to your club for fear that the staff might get angry talking about anything other than sports or weather! The bartender was nice and didn't seem to have an attitude that many bartenders at this acoholic chain seem to think is part of the job requirements!
Hey thanks, Fred, even though you could not come up with much constructive criticism, you inspired me to write and help one of the big reasons that I am happy to be leaving this great state or what as the Ogre brothers always seem to spout off!

I have written a great deal and others seem to enjoy reading my site or when I might pick out the best essays (in my opinion) to the peaceful openminded audience of Galileo's. Fortunately, cowboys and rednecks must not enjoy poetry in an area infested with hippies and intellectuals of all ages like the Paseo! (actually my dry humor seems to work better with folks slightly higher on the bell curve.)

a quote from a blog:
"Dry sense if humor doesn't really call attention to itself as being humorous. It's not silly, in- your-face, try to be funny, a la Robin Williams or Jim Carrey. It's often something you have to think about a bit before you get it. Often people with a dry sense of humor are misunderstood, because it's hard to tell if they are joking or are serious."

Another boring day after sleeping in till 1130, and looking out the window, Garvald sees the normal midday rendevous in the corner garage lounge between desperate housepartners. He almost envies the busy social schedule of the lounge and wonder how he could elaborate on all the stories of the 'hood while changing the names to be safe from paranoid litigants. He often has delusions that his "dry" stories are good enough to eventually plant the idea for screenplays or at least a mini-series in the eyes of an unhappy man with adult attention deficit disorder. His hood has enough eccentric qualities in the various characters to be at least become regulars in King of the Hill episodes. What do you think, M? (she rolls her eyes)

I've still been thinking about an Okie's definition of "dry", after the slightly enlightening conversation with a random redneck reader at Hudstoned. I have ideas to make a 10 top list of how to stay dry in Oklahoma:
1. Speak English at a level that shows proficiency in grammar sufficient enough to pass the GED test.
2. Talk about how one can find happiness and excitement in this great state or what ???
3. Talk about religion or politics in Oklahoma with a deadpan face and monotone.
4. Don't mow your lawn. It requires water.
5. Avoid the hot air of redneck bars so you won't sweat.
6. Avoid reading the Daily Disappointment (Oklahoman).
7. Avoid large pickup trucks when crossing the street.
8. Make sure you tell your jokes with a straight face so low iq rednecks will think you are serious. 9. Avoid eye contact with men that look 8 months pregnant and wear wife beater shirts or no shirt at all to show off to their neighbors what a great effort it took to develop their gut.
10. Avoid discussions with rednecks that believe they are experts in everything. Their hot air will make you sweat and their loud mouths might damage your ear drums.

I still have so much to do. I bought some stamps and to mail out checks to the various colleges for my transcripts. Each time, I have to do this when I'm at a new school district. I feel good that I've been at least taking the steps. That is the hardest thing to do. The heat in Okc. is still way too much for me to feel really active. I always have these summer doldrums. I agree with Fred that some of this material is mundane but I shouldn't let blokes like him stifle any kind of creativity that I might have inside of me.
I was so happy that I finally overcame the mental block of calling Dad in Australia. He was so happy to hear from me. It made me feel so good to tell him that I'll be starting a new job at the end of the month. I will need to continue making lists and taking a little of the addaboy .
Tomorrow, I will make it a point of getting out of my house before noon avoiding any prograsstination and get my temporary health coverage to help alleviate any worries that he might have. He is sounding very healthy and mentally alert. That made me feel so good that he is doing well knowing that I still have a parent to worry about me.

I tried a little stratera from my original samples. I could function and focus much better but unfortunately there are some side effects and haven't used it for a year. It's such a headache getting all the information together of all the records. I finally made those phone calls to the Kansas and Oklahoma Depts of Education.
It is such a long tedious process getting all the necessary information and forms to send to the appropriate places. I realize that I do have a definitely disability I finally got the forms in the mail to send to all the previous employers to show proof of employment and then I immediatley missplaced the 3 sheets somewhere in my house as I missplace and forget so many things like looking around for keys and realize they were in the pockets of another pair of shorts. I'm sure glad that I state this without getting any more of those nasty judgemental comments. It will be great when I finally take care of all this paperwork before I even get started on packing and finding a suitable tenant.

It seems like everything is falling into place, but I only have 10 more days to get everything ready. Some of you might be bored with this dry material of my day to day struggles but don't forget that at the moment this journal is mostly for me. The wonderful therapy of putting one's angst down on paper helps so much to objectify it and not be overwhelmed by it!

Last night, avoiding the Medusian glares of the trolls at the local corner neighborhood garage/lounge, I escaped to my favorite sanctuary of the Paseo. I had a large 25 0z. Killians for only 2.50 at the Red Rooster and then had my only significant meal of a chicken breast sandwich in the outside patio of Galileo's. By another serendiptous coincidence, two college students sat down at the table next to me and Buffy. One lady had ADHD and told me how she succesfully handled a rigorous international bacalaureate degree at Classen School for the gifted and talented. She was actually paid 50$ a week to try adderall when it was first coming out. She said that she would not have been able to do it and also have an evening job without it. The other lady went to the same school where I will be teaching. She gave me more insight on the Native American culture and told me how all the cooking there is so wonderful because of the special ingredient, love that is put in the food there!

I woke up feeling much better than the slight state of depression or funky loneliness missing Muffy. It's funny how I feel so much better after having my favorite pizza with anchovies, sliced fresh tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, pineapple (the fruit has bromelain to help digest meat), Canadian Bacon, peppers and some other items that I ask them to throw in at CiCi's!
Rather than go dancing and get possible angry stares from rednecks that are jealous of someone that can dance, I went to exchange movies. I got a French movie during WW2, when a 17 year old helps this recent widow and her two kids survive on a farm during the German occupation of France. The French make wonderful movies, but I fell asleep as I often do. I will look forward to finish wathcing it tonight. When I have a lot of time on my hands, I love DVDs as they usually have lots of analysis. Eventually maybe I would love to make an avante Garde type of movie. (she rolls her eyes)


I realize that without even trying I push peoples' buttons. So why try to fight it when no matter how you try to please some folks they will still be upset with you and hate you.
I have more fun on this site poking fun of folks that love to be judgemental and feel they are superior especially male or female bullies.
I love to go the tagboard of and make fun of the so called Kristian bullies that work for Konservative radio. OReilly, OHannity and O Limbaugh love to make fun of others that don't buy into their government propagand. They are delightfully offended when these bullies have their own come uppance on other radio or comedy stations. When I've had a boring day I do enjoy some verbal sparring with folks brainwashed by the hot air of government propaganda in the form of the right wing media. I do relish taking them off their moral pedestals.

I am happy to make some necessay phone calls. I talked to one of my administrator about the new place I will be living in. The high altitude will make the nights cool. It will be such a relief from the hot air of Oklahoma. I wonder about eventually changing the name of my site to Escape(d) the Okie Zone.

Today was productive finallly getting the envelopes filled out asking for verification of all my years of teaching. It's a headache getting the right forms and needing to write out checks and all the schools to send the information to the necessary people. I am not motivated to do anything until I've had a little of the addaboy. Only a minute amount of the time released beads helps so much with the focus. I'm sure my readers will love to exploit the fact that the medication definitely does help with the ADD. It will be nice when I'm on full major medical and won't have to worry about the exorbitant cost of presription, but I've been able to make 20 pills last the whole year.
I am hoping that there will be more research on various herbs and proper nutrition that will naturally give you the extra energy and mental focus.

I'm not near as motivated to write as I have been. I'm glad that I'm slowly but surely getting everything ready renewing my certificated and getting copies of the licenses from both states. Now, I'll be certified in three states! It would be nice to continue with the baby steps as far as finishing up my masters. I believe that I almost have enough already from UCO to almost be there. It's a matter of visiting with them and seeing the universities where I'll be going.
I still need to call Uhaul and the different places that I can get trailers. I need to install a trailer hitch too!
I hate the way I prograsstinate on so many things but it's amazing how just a few of the time released beads of addaboy help motivate me to just get on the phone and make those necessary calls. Then it's putting adresses on envelopes and filling out all the necessary forms. When I put these mundane items of the necessary things to do, it is so much easier.

Last night was kind of fun although my poem did a lot better in the rehearsal outside in the ever friendly patio of Galileo's. Craig (one of the owners) brought out water for Buffy while chatting on the cell phone with Muffy checking up on me, irritated about my conversations with friendly young ladies that very often initiate conversations with me even without my dog. I was so flattered that the girl thought I was only 34, asking several times my age and wondering why women seem to even put more energy in finding out your age than men do of women. I'm realizing in my middle age that I am much safer from prejudice when I don't say my age. The crazy lady on my favorite tagboard often wants to tell the daily characters how old I am....Like I care...It's a shame how we worship and put so much emphasis on young and new in this country! I feel you can often just get better with age in so many things other than the physical looks (although I think that I get more looks from attractive ladies than ever ;) she rolls her eyes) such as intelligence, the quality of lovemaking, charisma, conversation and even organization gets better with more experience and learning to cope with your limitations.

It was bizaare about the evening seeing some people that I didn't expect to see, but was recently thinking about them. Another older amateur comic, Stan Silliman, who shared the stage with me circa 89,90 in the old now extinct Laff's and Jokers, was at open poetry last night. I had just reread a helpful letter he had written to me about my comedy schtick when I was making a poor attempt at cleaning out some of my old boxes of pack rat crap!
I went to the Red Rooster for large beers and there was the bartender of Hudstoned, Doug, and maybe his gf sitting on the customer side of the bar. I made the point of saying hello to him and shaking his hand. It's funny how I had been avoiding the place and there he was coming from one of the unfriendliest bars to the friendliest bar in town. They had a chance to see Buffy play with her smaller canine friend that is also often there! I wonder about all these coincidences that seem to be like they are almost signs that I should bear no animosity to the folks that seem to dislike me for just being me. I won't let their anger or animosity change my own amiable demeanor.

Saturday; less than an hour away! I want to tell you so much about the extra-ordinary serendipitious synchronistic coincidences as if the universal creative energy of collective conciousness is talking to him (p,p,p ;)....and of course all together now, "she rolls her eyes"...
I don't know which is funnier, an essay devoted to the heroic exploits of the lecture man or let my self go with the herbal euphoria of the moment...If only I could utter the thoughts that arise in me and be able to express all of them in such a limited form of communication as the written word! please say all of the buzz really fast!

Let me please sidetrack you with the sometime hilarious tagboard where someone of the 9 characters that appear to reside (their matresses and soiled panties are one foot from the 'puters) on this site appears to be impersonating moi! Muffy gets angry with me and thinks I'm also obsessed with the soap opera of these computer nerds! (ROLLLING ON THE FLOOR WITH HERBAL INDUCED TEARS!) Oscar Wilde once said,
"If there is anything worse than being talked about, it's not being talked about!"

Fun with Dubya
kkks: at least once or twice a week or just resort to some middle school level epithet!
kkks: for darth and the fakenames are obsessed with how poor his writing is yet seem to read it and cut and paste several of his soon to be notorious quotes about the deluded kkkers!
kkks: wow, its funny that this nutcase made it a point of posting of all my writings...Ill document this as the 3 kkk right wing fanatics that reside on this board love to cut and paste his literary talents and honesty!
KKKs: stokin the fire but g has made it a point not to get down to her level with the personal insults. G is a born again Christian and will even turn his right cheek for the poor delusional ones to kiss!
kristiankrazykons: so smafty,thrasher, or lol are impersonating g to continue with j's delusions that someone far better looking than her is obsessed with her. too darn funny!
kristiankrazykons: some one is impersonating g!
FU Low Rater: What da phuck do you know about anything
g: after you leave jules, the only thing hard to get over is the smell
g: jules beaver smells like a cesspool in august
G LOVES JULES: Go find another site to talk about your girlfriend G
G LOVES JULES: Because we really do not care about either of you
G LOVES JULES: TOP STORY: When is this guy going to get over her????
G LOVES JULES: TOP STORY: When is this guy going to get over her???
G LOVES JULES: TOP STORY: When is this guy going to get over her??
G LOVES JULES: TOP STORY: When is this guy going to get over her?
Attention PTSD Vets: At least a third of you face losing your disability because of this [LINK]
low rater: you repukes have weakened a nation!
low rater: you repukes have sat on your sorry rumps for 35 years and done absolutely nothing about this dependency on Arab oil. Dems are called tree huggers because we want innovation not dependency!
low rater: you repukes have sat on your sorry rumps for 35 years and done absolutely nothing about this dependency on Arab oil. Dems are called tree hugger because we want innovation not dependency!
dave: no, u smell like hells curry shop toilet
low rater: all of bush's tax cuts have been negated by high bush gas prices. can't you stupid bush voters figure that out?
Invade Iraq!!!: They have weapons of mass destruction that they are planning to use on us, plus they were responsible for September 11.
low rater: that would go a long way toward resolving odor issues
g: first she needs to clean herself out a little, take out some of the fruits and vegetables and household appliances she has stored in there, and then give herself a good full cleansing, then go from there, she told me herself she had a couple of broken off weeners in there, the gotta go
g: the rest are figments of his drug distorted imagination

Here's some more evidence of their morbid obsession with my site and my life:

WHATAFREAK!!!!: [LINK] (first they put a link to my site and then even add some cut and pastes for them to show the rest of cyberworld the honesty of a man coping as best as he can with his ADD and how the cold conservatives of this site enjoy making fun of a disability!'s sad that they have no lives and want to spend so much time reading a site that they obsesively hate so much. Aren't love and hate sometimes very close?? ;)
Garvald Says:: I was so happy that I finally overcame the mental block of calling Dad in Australia. He was so happy to hear from me. It made me feel so good to tell him that I'll be starting a new job at the end of the month. I will need to continue making lists and taking a little of the addaboy . IMAGINE HAVING TO LIVE ON ADDERALL TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY
Garvald Says:: Lillian had said to her that my blog has a 4 rating and hers has a 6. That amazes me with the huge amount of traffic that her website brings in along with the significant revenue for her family from advertising. I have no idea how much traffic I'm getting or what criteria is used to get a rating from Google? YEAH RIGHT!
Garvald Says:: I know that he and his wife read this site, so if you are reading this, stay off my property and leave me alone and stay out of my life and my new career! Don't come over acting like you want to spout off any expertise that you think you have. Keep it to yourself and your own family or start your own blog. HE HAS CONTROVERSY EVERYWHERE!
Garvald Says:: I hate the way I prograsstinate on so many things but it's amazing how just a few of the time released beads of addaboy help motivate me to just get on the phone and make those necessary calls. Then it's putting adresses on envelopes and filling out all the necessary forms. When I put these mundane items of the necessary things to do, it is so much easier. AN ADMITTED DRUG USER!
Garvald Says:: I am not motivated to do anything until I've had a little of the addaboy. Only a minute amount of the time released beads helps so much with the focus. I'm sure my readers will love to exploit the fact that the medication definitely does help with the ADD. It will be nice when I'm on full major medical and won't have to worry about the exorbitant cost of presription, but I've been able to make 20 pills last the whole year.
Garvald Says:: I woke up feeling much better than the slight state of depression or funky loneliness missing Muffy. It's funny how I feel so much better after having my favorite pizza with anchovies, sliced fresh tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, pineapple (the fruit has bromelain to help digest meat), Canadian Bacon, peppers and some other items that I ask them to throw in at CiCi's!
WHATAFREAK!!!!: [LINK] please excuse her continual rants and epithets!
Hey g: This liberal hate site has turned into Darth and Jules official site! Funny!
Hey g: noone believes you-you are nothing but a fat, pot smokin, wannabee liberal, who has no job, has sex with your dog and thinks you are writing a book! Blah!!!!
Hey g: Obsessed
Hey g: you just can't stop talking about me can you?
g: using them as mops does provide her with a little extra spending money though
g: huge, but all saggy and hanging down to the floor. she has trouble sitting up straight.
low rater: boy, she must have some mellons?
g: her face is puffy, she's aging fast, come to think of it she looks a little like an old cheerleader after the whole rugby team has had their way with her.
g: cristian woman's hair is all dyed out and ratty, very unattractive.
<-- Back
more obsessive rants from

: jules bends over and shakes her cams and she can have an office floor done in 15 minutes, sometimes less
Clem: Doodling, I think, is somewhere between washing cars and flipping burgers on the all american food chain.
low rater: after all, how hard can an autocad class be?
low rater: is doodling considered an honorable trade?
g: her boobs hang down to the floor good for her cause it gives her a second income mopping floors
low rater: and o'doodles doesn't even earn a wattage rating
g: ive seen cristianwoman and believe me she is no beauty
Pathetic: that you talk about the cool people all day long! Get a hobby!
Clem: And a photo of W. LFOLL!!! maybe superimpose Rush Limbaugh's fat face on the body of a hippopotamus? LFOL!
Clem: Maybe she'll take over a couple photographs of Sean Hannity and show them what a homegrown American monkey looks like.
Facts: It's still not clear, though, what Horrific Beaver will teach anyone?? That 2 plus 2 equals 5? FLOLL!!!
Facts: Or "Wash that Beaver!"
Clem: I wonder if the Africans are like American Indians. If so, I wouldn't be surprised if they named Jules "Horrific Beaver." FLOL!

Apparently this deluded fan atic of my website loves to cut and paste a great deal onto my site. I am flattered with the notoiety. lol.
(I might erase some this later if some of guttural comments offend any of my Christian readers ;)

Sunday; 3 pm.

Boy, I'm glad she's gone! My insurance went up over 400$ when I had a little boo boo with her car one dreary Sunday afternoon just after Bush stole the election. This elderly oriental lady was freaking out and now I see her in all different libraries almost like she is haunting me.
SoI was sitting at the computer I had reserved for 2:30. I didn't look forward to telling her that I had it 5minutes ahead. She was polite but then my luck, a computer freed up right next to me.
Do you know how traumatic it was to sit beside her for half an hour and bring back all the melancholic trauma of that Melancholic Sunday in November after the 2nd stealing of a national election knowing my insurance would be jacked up to pay several times what it might have cost her to have the scratch painted.
What next, God , if you really are out there and seem to only prefer moral Republicans?

I could look at the experience negatively as I often do when I think of the many follies in my life. I know that with this ADD and lack of focus, I'm destined for more but I know that I can be much better in damage control. i.e. I bump my head hard on the sharp edge of the medicine cabinet door pulled out for the convenience of getting a towel from the shower. I've had a little addaboy and so I get up from the commode with determination. I sit back down with a major scratch in my shaved cronium. I see all the blood and realize the liquid skin won't be enough for the bloody gash so I drive back home for the bandaid. Typical ADD even with medication.
J, why don't you cut and paste this for you and your two friends on the tagboard!

I notice that the characters on the site enjoy reading my rambling and especially when I'm honest enough to admit my shortcomings. They make fun of someone that can function better with medication. Would they make fun of someone that takes medication for parkinson, cancer or even a medical disabilty.

It's funny how some folks like to look down on ADD and baldness when they would never make fun of an obese woman in a wheelchair. Maybe she ate too many fries from Wendy's so that she could't walk anymore or she was born with the disability. Why do so many so called moral folks feel that it's fair game to mock folks that are retarded or have some sort of mental disability that makes them less functional or norms of a closeminded narrow cultural mindset!

Well, I know that this sounded a little negative but then I want to look as a positive sign! There have been many enemies or (better yet, folks that impede your desire for happiness) that have shown up in myterious ways. I was telling Charles that these could be signs for things to fall in place. By me tolerating her for half an hour, it helped me learn to deal with my inner and outer demons that I let impede my happiness. They are in the past, Garvald. The elections, the burglaries, the physical and verbal attacks in bars and the vissicitudes of my daily struggles are all history now documented in this website for later use for me and others to read. Maybe we will make sense of out of these patterns in my life.
All I'm trying to convey, is I see these people as representations of the obstacle that I need to look in the eye and face them without fear. I will also see people like them in the future and it's almost like God or this universal energy was putting me in front of them so I would see how easy it is. I was asking for the best case scenarios of people that I didn't want to see and it seemed like even a better answer was there waiting for me almost as if this energy is talking to me. p,p,p .....
I'm sure my angry readers that enjoy making fun of this site will have a field day with the above message! ;)

I'm so excited but so aprehensive of everything thing that I still need to do here and in my new place. I only have five minute. I'm heading to see M for a little rendesvous in Tulsa before I need to make the big trip west! I am so happy that so many loose ends were taken care of.
Necessity is the mother invention and I feel it will also happy. I need to pray more

Tuesday; October 7th
I finally received something from the Oklahoma State Department of ED about them needing me to fill out a form and send another 10.00$! I thought for sure that I filled out those forms and sent the money. Maybe I need to look and write down everything to make sure that I'm protected. I guess that I can go to the personell office in town with everything but my Oklahoma License, (maybe a copy of that slip of what the license dept is waiting for!) I worry about deadlines and still have paranoia about work.


  1. I laughed out loud, Garvald. I know you'll want to know which parts, I'll tell you on the phone tonight...later. XO, M

  2. Reading your blog and I figured you'd be interested in advancing your life a bit, call us at 1-206-339-5106. No tests, books or exams, easiest way to get a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, Doctorate or Ph.D in almost any field.

    Totally confidential, open 24 hours a day.

    Hope to hear from you soon!

  3. Thanks for registering. Ill pass the number on to my local pastor and all his brethren. Im sure they would like to expand their horizons!

  4. Watching In Shock From Afar

    BAGHDAD, Sept. 1, 2005

    Katrina Hits La. GIs In Iraq

    Capt. Terence Ryan of the Louisiana National Guard, on The Early Show Thursday (Photo: CBS/EARLY SHOW)

    "I've been to (Operation) Desert Storm (in the first Gulf War) and deployed overseas prior to this, but this pretty much takes the cake."
    Capt. Terence Ryan, Louisiana National Guard

    Dig Deeper
    • Complete coverage:
    Disaster On The Gulf Coast

    • Interactives:
    Katrina Strikes Again

    Charting Katrina

    Hurricane Season

    •Video Archive
    CBS Reports On Katrina

    •Photo Essay
    Katrina Hits Gulf Coast

    • Resources
    Where To Give Help

    • Stories:
    Katrina's Death Toll Climbs

    Tapping Oil Reserves

    Mississippi Hurting

    Going Dome To Dome

    Wet Computers, Lost Data

    Disaster Survival Kit

    (CBS) Soldiers from the Louisiana National Guard are in New Orleans, taking part in rescue and relief efforts in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

    But nearly 3,000 of their comrades can't help. They're thousands of miles away, deployed in Iraq.

    CBS News correspondent Lara Logan reports from Baghdad that many have lost their houses back home, and they're anxious about the safety of loved ones.

    When they're not out on combat operations or doing their jobs in Iraq, Logan says, they've been glued to the TV, "watching in shock from afar."

    One is Capt. Terence Ryan, who tells Logan, "We're still just looking at each other, goin', 'Is this really happening?' We know about it. We've seen pictures. But it really hasn't hit yet."

    Ryan and his fellow soldiers from the Louisiana National Guard have endured a long and difficult year in Iraq and, says Logan, just as they were gearing up to go home, the disaster hit.

    Asked if it's the most devastating thing that's ever happened to him, Ryan says, "Most definitely. I've been to (Operation) Desert Storm (in the first Gulf War) and deployed overseas prior to this, but this pretty much takes the cake."

    Ryan was looking forward to being home in his newly-rebuilt house, but the whole parish of St. Bernard, where he lives, is now gone, and he's just relieved his family is safe.

    "I saw some aerial photos of my house," he says. "The water's over the roof."

    Noting that Ryan said that with a smile on his face, Logan says, "I know you're not smiling inside, though."

    "No," Ryan says, "you're not smiling inside, but you just gotta — what can you do? You go home and you work through, day to day, whatever each day offers, and you take it and try to rebuild."

    As grueling as their time in Iraq has been, Capt. Ryan says what they've learned there is patience. And that patience is helping them deal with the crisis back home.

    Logan puts it simply: "No one would ever doubt your commitment to your mission here. You guys have been here a long time and made a lot of sacrifices. But, if you could choose where you could be right now, where would that be?"

    "Most definitely being home with my family," Ryan says, "and helping the Louisiana soldiers, and the other soldiers from around the states, helping out with the tragedy back home."

    The last few weeks are always a tough time of a deployment for soldiers, Logan says, but these will be especially tough for the Louisiana National Guard.

  5. g: God bless you for reading my blog!
    Bush's fault: "Can't you just see Bush staying on vacation while all this happens THEN touring the damage like he's some kind of concerned hero?" the American Blogger griped
    Bush's fault: "Will Bush stay on vacation? At this point, it doesn't really matter. Because Bush has been asleep at the wheel for four years."
    Bush's fault: "So far today, I've looked at Global Warming and Katrina and the crisis resulting from Louisiana's National Guard being in Iraq instead of defending their state," complains the "Swing State" blog.
    g: thankyou
    Bush's Fault: A handful of liberal bloggers have wasted no time politicizing the Hurricane Katrina disaster, alleging that the Iraq war has stripped New Orleans of National Guard protection and blasting President Bush for not dealing with global warming.
    soldtojohnstewart: we can do a romantic piece about narcissism and ignorance meeting up in a state unsure of their redness. So because of us, the best president since lincoln inherited the office. copyright 2005
    neocons/fox: we can do a romantic piece about narcissism and ignorance meeting up in a state unsure of their redness. So because of us, the best president since lincoln inherited the office.
    neocons/fox: Lets make Oreilly head of Fema!
    neocons/fox: american will forget if we start talking about cindy or terrorists instead. most of them were poor so they made bad choices.
    neocons/fox: soon we can calm down and wonder what happened to our white girl in Aruba.
    neocons/fox: lets talk about cindy and make a yellow alert so people will forget about New orleans like they forgot about Karl.
    neocons/fox: unser Fuhrer fked up! Our beloved Fuhrer. We must still love our commander!
    neocons/fox: we destroy anyone that disagrees with der Fuhrer!@
    g: rt on april!
    April: here comes Ophelia to my state--NC--good thing we know better than to depend on Bush and Brownie!
    April: the neocons would be lost without Cindy Sheehan though, they'd have nothing to talk about--they'll do anything to avoid talking about Bush's failures!
    If the mother of a: hero is "trash," what does that make a military shirker? LFOLL!
    truth: digest that
    truth: its funny how darth seems to be more and more a fox clone..he's followed the same style of attempting to destroy the credibility of anyone that disagrees with the administration
    truth: to be continued
    Darth Shatner: whats your point. She was just a piece of media trash....nothing will happen of her. She might do the talk show circuit, write a book or two, then just be a question on Jeopardy and trivial Persuit. Jihad Cindy who for 500 1000 alex....TDF!
    Doodles: Darth is a pathetic coward and a social loser with a drug problem. We Report, You Decide.
    Doodles: loves to pound on grieving middle age mothers. Ahh, fighting terrorists? Now that's another matter. LFOLL!
    Darth Shatner: I agree Cindy's son is a hero, and I think his decision to serve in our armed forces was very brave and honorable.
    More -->

  6. 5. Bush Lied to CBS, 1999.

    "Bush has often acknowledged past mistakes, but CBS News Correspondent Lee Cowan reports that in a 1999 interview with CBS station WBZ in Boston, he denied there was any so-called smoking gun." CBS TV news
    Bush also evaded countless questions and gave Clintonesque half-truths. For example, while struggling with how to answer charges of drug abuse, he said that he would have been able to pass FBI background checks during his father's administration. But those checks include the question "Have you ever been arrested for any crime?" So either he was directly lying, or he has some Slick explanation like "I could have explained the circumstances of the arrest and still passed the FBI check."

    In another evasion, Bush decided to serve jury duty in 1996, during his first year as governor. On his questionairre, he simply left blank the questions about prior arrests and trials. Then he found himself on a trial for drunk driving, where every juror is eventually asked about prior convictions for drunk driving. The night before the trial, Bush's lawyer asked the defense attorney to dismiss him, because "it would be improper for a governor to sit on a criminal case in which he could later be asked to grant clemency." It's a silly argument, because that problem exists with any criminal trial and Bush had already decided to serve on a jury, but the defense attorney obliged and excused him before direct questioning of jurors began.

    Bush now justifies covering up his arrest "to be a good role model for his daughters." How does he figure that? Lying to cover up your crimes is not what I call being a good role model. Taking responsibility for your actions, admitting fault honestly and warning people of the consequences you suffered, THAT would be a good example. But Bush prefers the Clinton route of bald-faced lying, then blaming your enemies and the press when you get caught.

    Bush is now the first person to be elected president after being convicted of a crime.

    Bush had several other drunken incidents, as well. In December, 1972, Bush challenged his dad (the ex-president) to a fist fight, during an argument about Bush's drunk driving. He had taken his little brother out drinking, and ran over a neighbor's garbage cans on the way home. Bush's atypical public service job, working with inner city Houston kids, appears to have been an unofficial community service stint set up by Bush, Sr. Apparently the governor didn't learn his lesson, because his drunk driving conviction occured almost four years later.

    In another incident, he started screaming obscenities at a Wall Street Journal reporter, just because that reporter predicted that Bush's father would not be the 1988 Republican nominee. The reporter obviously was wrong, but a drunken Bush Jr. walked up to him at a restaurant and started yelling "You fucking son of a bitch. I won't forget what you said and you're going to pay a price for it."

    In fact, Bush' running mate Dick Cheney now admits he had two drunk driving offenses in 1962 and 1963, giving the Bush -- Cheney ticket a new world record of 3 DUI's on one ticket. No wonder they seem so relaxed.

    The conviction is bad enough, but the real question is, what other revelations are going to come later, about his drug use (which he won't deny), failing to show up for a year of his National Guard service, or sexual escapades in his swinging single days?

    There is evidence that Bush has more to hide involving his Texas driving record. Soon after he became governor, he had a new driver's license issued with the unusual ID number of "000000005", an action that destroyed the records of his previous license. His staff could only say, weakly, that this was done for "security reasons" but there is no record of any previous Texas governor having done so. Now we have at least of hint of why Bush wanted his records obscured, and a dark foreboding that more might be lurking, still covered up.

    Drunk Driving Sources

    His Character: The Prodigal Son
    George W. Bush, Jr. is touted as the savior of the Republican Party by the national press, because he pulls votes from minority voters and has his dad's name and fundraising connections to run on. But before we anoint him as the next president, let's look at what he's done with his life. In a nutshell, Junior
    1) grew up as a very rich child of powerful parents,
    2) partied from high school until he was 40,
    3) made millions off of sweet insider business deals from political allies of his dad, who happened to be the President,
    and 4) got elected governor of Texas mostly because of his name.
    Bush Junior has done some good work as governor of Texas. He has crossed the partisan divide, reached out to minorities, and tackled at least one tough, thankless issue (school financing; his plan was voted down in the legislature.)

    But 4 years -- even 4 good ones -- is a pretty short resume for the leader of the free world. No one doubts Bill Clinton's ability to handle punishment and come back for more. But Bush Junior's stamina and attention span are very real concerns. Furthermore, Bush's term as governor has also been markedly corrupt, although possibly in legal ways. What we mean is, he has taken millions in campaign contributions from certain big businessmen -- many of whom were in on the insider business deals that made him rich -- and those same businessman have received billions in sweet deals from the Texas state government during Bush's term.

    Specifics: Like Al Gore, Bush Jr. attended Eastern elitist schools, in this case Andover Prep, and Yale. According to a Newsweek profile, he "went to Yale but seems to have majored in drinking at the Deke House." He joined the secretive "Skull and Bones" club in 1968, as any good conspiracy buff can tell you.

    His business career was marked by mediocrity or failure which nonetheless resulted in him getting lots of money from his father's political allies. And his political career has been handed to him on a platter by his famous name, and by his dad's cronies.

    Bill Kristol, conservative pundit and Dan Quayle's former chief of staff, says "The Bush network is the only genuine network in the Republican Party. It is the establishment." Junior and Jeb Bush (elected in Florida in 1998) are the first brothers to be simultaneous governors since the Rockefellers.

    To give you an idea of how rarefied his upbringing was, George Junior had an argument with his mom at one point about whether non-Christians could go to Heaven. (Barbara Bush felt they could; George didn't.) To settle the dispute, they phoned up Billy Graham on the spot. (He sided with Junior, but warned him not to play God.).)

    More recently, Bush's performance during the 2000 South Carolina primary shows that he received the worst trait common to the famous Bush family -- a vicious competitiveness that shows no compunction about dirty tricks (such as the phone calls by his surrogates calling McCain, of all people, "the fag candidate") and utterly shameless flipflops (like Bush Sr.'s "read my lips, no new taxes", and Junior's very public refusal to meet with the gay Log Cabin Republicans group until right before the California primary, when he claimed he was fine with them all along. Not to mention him suddenly becoming "a reformer" after he got shellacked in the New Hampshire primary.)

    Not only does this trait demonstrate a lack of integrity -- which I define as having standards and things you believe in that you won't violate, even to win the presidency -- but there is an incredible arrogance in thinking that voters will accept and believe a candidate who blatantly changes his positions from week to week, saying whatever the local primary voters want to hear.

    Unfortunately, Bush Jr. has inherited this negative family trait without receiving any of the graciousness, diligence, and bravery of his father and grandfather (a Senator who lost his seat over a principled vote in favor of birth control, back in the 1940s.)

    Thin skinned: Bush tries to stifle his critics
    One of the most disturbing things about Bush is that he consistently works to silence his critics using his money and power, including state police and expensive lawyers. Not since Richard Nixon has a major presidential candidate been so quick to prevent his opponents from free speech. At the very least, this shows he doesn't understand big-league politics and may not be tough enough to handle more serious opponents, such as hostile foreign countries and terrorists. At worst, it may be a sign of Nixon-like paranoia; that president's thin-skin started out with similar small potatos and grew to bring down his presidency amid enemies' lists, illegal break-ins of his opponent's offices, and forcing the IRS to audit his enemies.
    Bush can't blame this on his staff, either; it comes from the top. When asked about one critical web site, he told the press "There ought to be limits to freedom. We're aware of this site, and this guy is just a garbage man, that's all he is."

    As governor of Texas, for example, Bush Junior has sent the state police to arrest peaceful demonstrators outside the governors mansion. While previous governors allowed peaceful pickets on the public sidewalk outside the mansion, Bush has claimed that they are blocking public access, and had them arrested. Not all protestors, either -- just the ones he doesn't want the press to see.

    In the 2000 primaries, Bush supporters including NY Governor Pataki sued to keep John McCain and Steve Forbes off the New York primary ballot in several congressional districts. Bush denied any involvement, fooling no one, but after McCain's decisive New Hampshire victory made the move look ridiculous, Bush and his top strategist Karl Rove called up his establishment minions, after which they instantly announced that they were stopping their efforts to keep McCain off the ballot. Ironically, all of the attention to ballot rules revealed that a number of Bush delegates and alternates used fraudulent signatures to qualify for the ballot. As a result, it appears that McCain and Forbes will be on the ballot statewise, but George Bush Jr. won't be in one Bronx congressional district.

    Bush also can't stand criticism on the Internet. His campaign quietly -- and probably illegally -- bought up over 200 anti-Bush domain names including "", "", and "" over a year ago. (Illegally because he had refused to register as a candidate, as part of his effort to make it look like people were begging him to run, so spending money for his campaign was not allowed.) If you type in any of these URLs, you end up at Bush's official web site. His campaign refuses to say whether this means that they admit that he bites, blows and sucks. (Maybe he used to be a White House intern?)

    If you wanted to set up one of those sites, breathe easy because many good names are still available. The Bush camp somehow neglected to purchase "", "", or "", so $70 makes them yours.

    Even worse, Bush and his high-priced lawyers have tried twice to shut down a web site -- -- that parodies the Bush campaign, in particular his "no comment" answers on drug use in his past. You will recall that Bush has said it doesn't matter what he did "in his youth," because the question is "have you grown up" and "have you learned from your mistakes." The parody site presents a new program called "Amnesty 2000", in which Bush "proposes" pardoning all drug convicts who have "grown up."

    The Bush campaign filed one complaint about the site in April 1999, after which the parody site's owners changed it to look less like the real Bush site. That wasn't good enough though, and Bush lawyers filed against the site again in May 1999. So far, it remains in business. Sources

    Lying Under Oath. Bush & Co. Squelch Investigation of Contributor's Funeral Homes
    In a (so far successful) attempt to stop a scandal, Bush perjured himself under oath, according to the sworn testimony of two of his political allies. The situation is amazingly similar to Clinton's Lewinsky problem: a potentially damaging lawuit arose (see below) that threatened to involve him. Just like Clinton, Bush swore an affidavit that he had no involvement in the case, which got him excused from testifying. And just like Clinton, the affidavit was proven false months later by new evidence. In this case, it's the recent sworn testimony of Robert MacNeil, a Bush appointee, that he had discussed the case with Bush at a fundraiser.
    This scandal isn't as sexy as Monica's, but perjury is perjury, and this scandal actually involves the governor's job, not his sex life. Texas' state commission on funeral homes (the TFSC) started an investigation of SCI, the world's largest funeral home company (with 3,442 homes, plus 433 cemeteries) after complaints that unlicensed apprenctices were embalming corpses at 2 SCI embalming centers. The commission visited a couple of these, and ended up fining SCI $450,000.

    But SCI pulled strings with the commission and with Bush himself. Shortly thereafter, the investigation was shut down and the agency's investigator was fired. She sought to question Bush for her lawsuit, and that's when he swore his admittedly false affidavit. In fact, that affidavit has been proven false twice now.

    DETAILS: SCI has long cultivated Bush and his allies. They gave governor Bush $35,000 in the last election and $10K in 1994, gave $100,000 to the George Bush, Sr. library, and hired the ex-president to give a speech last year for $70,000. They also spread money around the Texas legislature and the Texas Attorney General's office.

    After the investigation got serious, SCI's boss, Robert Waltrip, called the funeral commission's chairman and told him to "back off." If not, Waltrip said, "I'm going to take this to the governor."

    Still, the investigation continued. So Waltrip and his lawyer/lobbyist, Johnnie B. Rogers, went to the governor's office and dropped off a letter demanding a halt to the investigation. Rogers told Newsweek that he and Waltrip were ushered in to see Joe Allbaugh, Bush's chief of staff (who is now Bush's campaign manager.) Rogers goes on to say that Bush Jr. popped his head in and said to Waltrip, "Hey, Bobby, are those people still messing with you?" Waltrip said yeah. Then the governor turned to Rogers and said, "Hey, Johnnie B. Are you taking care of him?" Rogers said "I'm doing my best, Governor."

    The problem for Bush is that he swore under oath, in a July 20th 1999 affidavit, that he "had no conversations with [SCI] officials, agents, or represenatives concerning the investigation or any dispute arising from it." If Rogers is telling the truth, than Bush Jr. lied directly under oath. He filed the affidavit in an attempt to avoid testifying in a whistleblower lawsuit concerning this investigation and it's alleged squashing by Bush's administration.

    Back in August of 1999, Bush himself admitted that he spoke with Waltrip and Rogers -- in other words, that he lied under oath -- but used Clintonesque denials to claim that it was nothing substantial. Bush told the Associated Press that "It's a 20-second conversation. I had no substantive conversation with the guy. Twenty seconds. That's hardly enough time to even say hello, much less sit down and have a substantive discussion. All I know is it lasted no time. And that hardly constitutes a serious discussion. I did not have any knowledge at all of Waltrip's problem with this case."

    Of course, nothing Bush says here contradicts what Rogers said. In fact, his careful explanation of why this is not perjury is incredibly similar to Bill Clinton's weaseling about what the meaning of "is" is. And now MacNeil's sworn statement further confirms Bush's lie.

    Whatever Bush said out loud, Waltrip's complaints to the governor got quick results. Eliza May -- the investigator for the funeral services commission -- says that after Waltrip visited the governor, she received phone calls from three senior Bush aides asking if she could wrap up her proble quickly. She says she was also summoned to another meeting in Allbaugh's office, one month after the first one, and found Waltrip already there. The governor's top aide, she says, demanded that she turn over a list of all of the documents that she needed "to close the SCI investigation."

    Since then, investigator Eliza May has been fired, 6 or 10 staff members on the commission have been fired or resigned and not been replaced, and the Texas legislature -- led by members receiving substantial contributions from SCI -- passed a bill to reorganize the agency and remove it's head. On August 16, 199, Bush ordered his Comptroller to take over the agency and run it. May -- who, it should be noted, is a Democrat and was even state Democratic Treasurer at one point -- has filed a whistleblower lawsuit alleging she was fired because she persisted with the investigation.

    Bush simply didn't show up for his scheduled deposition on July 1st, 1999 in the case. (He isn't a defendant in the case, because Governors are immune from lawsuits in Texas, but is being called as a material witness.) He filed his affidavit on July 20th to indicate that he had nothing to add.

    Now Robert MacNeil -- who was the chairman of the Texas funeral commission at the time, a Bush appointee -- confirms that he also discussed the case with Bush, at a 1998 Texas fundraiser. In a sworn deposition, MacNeil says that Bush asked him: “Have you and Mr. Waltrip got your problems worked out?” Replied McNeil: “We’re still trying to work on that, governor.” Bush then said, “Do your job.” Bush's campaign says that MacNeil's statement is false. But the language MacNeil says Bush used is almost identical to what he admits saying to Johnnie Rodgers in the governor's office. Sources

    Corruption in Texas Government; State $ to Big Contributors
    Bush's administration has consistenly shoveled large amounts of state controlled money to men who have either contributed large amounts to Bush's campaign, or who have made Junior personally rich through sweet insider business deals, or both.
    For example, the University of Texas' Investment Management Company (UTIMCO) invests $1.7 billion of state money. Most of this comes from profits from oil discovered on Texas state land. Bush's cronies dominate this board, and in return investment funds controlled by these very cronies or their friends have received nearly a third -- $457 million -- of that massive investment pool. There may even be more, but this obscure group -- created under Bush -- cloaks its operations in a thick veil of secrecy.

    UTIMCO's chairman, Tom Hicks, now owns the Texas Rangers; his purchase of the team made Governor Bush a very rich man. Furthermore, Hicks and his brother gave $146,000 to the Bush campaign. In return, $252 million of the invested money went to funds run by Hicks' business associates or friends, according to the Houston Chronicle. Hicks even insisted that UTIMCO increase by $10 million an investment with a fund that he had an indirect financial interest in, but UTIMCO staff halted funding after they discovered the conflict.

    Then there's Sam and Charles Wyly, the billionaire brothers who secretly bought $2.5 million of "independent" TV ads slamming McCain just before the critical Super Tuesday primaries. (They have also given hundreds of thousands of dollars to Bush Jr.'s governor and presidential campaigns.) They control Maverick Capital, an investment fund that received $90 million of UTIMCO money. The brothers earn nearly $1 million in fees alone from that money, along with a share of any profits.

    Henry Kravis of Kohlberg, Kravis & Roberts -- a longtime Bush contributor -- received a $50 million investment deal in 1996. And there are many more Bush supporters who have received millions from UTIMCO, including the Bass family and Adele Hall of the Hallmark Cards family.

    Another key player in the Bush world is Richard Rainwater, the billionaire Texas investor who made Bush Jr.'s original involvement in the Texas Rangers deal possible. That's the deal that made Jr. rich, of course. Bush had several other personal investments in Rainwater controlled companies. But Rainwater has received much from Bush and the state of Texas' treasury, too. UTIMCO invested at least $20 million in Rainwater companies.

    And UTIMCO is not the only Bush administration agency funneling money and favors to his supporters and cronies. T he state teacher retirement fund sold three office buildings to Rainwater's real estate company at bargain prices, and without bids in 2 of the cases. The fund invested $90 million in the Frost Bank Plaza in Austin, and sold it to Rainwater's Crescent Real Estate for $35 million. Bush signed a law that will give his former baseball team co-owners -- including Rainwater -- a $10 million bonus payment when a new Dallas arena is built. Bush also proposed a cap on business real estate taxes that would have saved Rainwater millions on his various properties (but it lost in the legislature).

    In another example, Bush's state Housing department has been investigated for kickbacks, and Florita Bell Griffin, who Bush appointed to the state Housing Board, was just convicted of bribery, theft, money-laundering and mail fraud for trading her influence for cash. She faces 55 years in prison. And Larry Paul Manley, Bush's director of the Department of Housing until he resigned in January 1999, is under police investigation for steering federal tax credits to cronies. Texas' top auditor discovered in 1997 that 60% of department contracts went to Manley's former colleagues at local savings and loans, but refused to make the findings public until long after the criminal probes began.

    Bush may or may not have violated state ethics laws with all of this big money backscratching, but there is no doubt that he and these businessman are operating corruptly -- funneling large amounts of state money to the businessmen's companies, and large amounts of their personal and business money into George Bush Jr.'s pocket and political campaigns.


    Avoided the Vietnam War
    Most people have heard something about George W. Bush pulling strings to get into the Texas Air Guard. But the press, while reporting lots of details, has done a poor job of communicating how consistently and shamelessly Bush Jr. sought and received favorable treatment while he avoided Vietnam.

    Furthermore, his story has repeatedly changed -- he has weaseled like Clinton at his worst and even flat-out lied when explaining what happened.

    To put it in perspective, here are 9 ways Bush got favored treatment in the service due to his political connections (he was then son of a Congressman and grandson of a former Senator):
    1) He got into the Guard by pulling strings, avoiding the year and a half waiting list;
    2) He took a 2-month vacation in Florida after just 8 weeks, (1 of 3 leaves), to work on a political campaign;
    3) Bush skipped Officer Candidate School and got a special commission as a 2nd Lieutenant, without qualifications;
    4) He was assigned to a safe plane (being phased out of active service), the F-102 ;
    5) During flight school, he was flown on a government jet to Washington for a date with President Nixon's daughter Tricia ;
    6) Bush got an illegal transfer (later overruled) to a base with no work;
    7) He simply didn't show up for a YEAR, with no penalty;
    8) George W. skipped all his medical exams after they started drug tests, and was removed from flight status;
    9) He ended his service 10 months early to go to Harvard Business School;