Friday, July 29, 2005
There are some artsy and hippyesque shops on both sides of the street. There should be more benches for folks that just might want to visit without feeling the need to buy something. One of the shop owners said this would lead to more spontaneous activity on the street. Last night I walked across the street and chatted with a shop owner of tie dyed clothing and a few others who shared a liberal philosophy. It was a breath of fresh air to freely criticize what is happening to this country. We talked about how the Dixiecrat (Southern Democrat turned Neoconservative) mentality of nepotism have been keeping the rich good ole boys rich while the poor suffer. Throw in Jesus into the soup mixture and one gets the poor religious vote too. It worked for many decades with EK Gaylord, publisher of the only newspaper in town, only printing the news that backed his own right wing ideals. The poor and ignorant believed him and have been brainwashed just as the young converts to Fox news believe the news that they want to believe.
It's nice to be back in my own home with Buffy playing on the relatively lush green lawn. It feels soft and clean. I am amazed at how good it looks without any watering! I love to sit outside and play with her while avoiding the mean glares from the social chairman and his obsession about knowing everything about his neighbors.
By ironic coincidence, his mother arrived a day after I came home from KC just like she did after my extended travels throughout the country a few weeks ago. I would have loved to talk to her in person privately without nosy judgemental folks around but the chairman would not let that happen. Instead, Charles and his wife were invited over to his garage/lounge to be given a lecture "to pass on the information" to me by her about how I should adapt to a new culture. The chairman knew how much I wanted to talk to her and ask her questions firsthand, but instead he invites my neighbor to hear her lecture instead. It's almost like a board meeting with everyone in attendance except the subject of their discussion! I suppose in this man's mind he thinks he is doing me a favor?
I am glad that he will be leaving in a month, so that he cannot further spread his tainted propaganda about me or my lifestyle to any new tenant of my home or to other neighbors that move in. For any visitor that comes to my house, he has to make a point of knowing who they are and even invites himself into my own home to talk with them evn while I am out of town besides his illegal burglary.
"You have no evidence". He keeps saying with the smug satisfaction of an overgrown bully with the emotional maturity of a middle school student.
This man manipulated his own blood "brother" into my house two years ago when I had another much more responsible tenant in mind. I lost a few months rent and was left with last summer's electricity bills, broken utilities, burned carpet and plumbing.
The chairman hasn't had his usual public temper tantrums since I came back but he wanted to make sure that I knew that I had left the side door on my garage open yelling my name out for attention. It's almost like he is wanting to get into a neighborly talk hoping that my aprehension of his presence will relax before he takes advantage of my formerly amiable nature.
He yelled my name again and it's always in front of an audience, that he had rung my door bell to tell me that the side door of the garage was open. Previously, I told him to stay off my property. Rather than respond by flipping him off as he does when I might say hello to him, I just thanked him avoiding any confrontation.
Maybe that was the door he used when breaking into my house with the estranged tenant .
I made the mistake of trying forgive this man and letting my guard down.
I know that he and his wife read this site, so
if you are reading this, stay off my property and leave me alone and stay out of my life and my new career! Don't come over acting like you want to spout off any expertise that you think you have. Keep it to yourself and your own family or start your own blog.
My neighbor and Muffy say not to dwell on this but it seem like whenever I relax, he has some sort of social manipulation going on in the hood. I have been reading this book on writing and it says how therapeutic writing is when you write down and express yourself about why you are angry or sad. I am happier when I let out all my angst and grief. I might erase this or at least put it on draft for others not to see and use it against me.
The only folks who read this are the perpatrators and they will hopefully bear the guilt. not! ...these folks like many people rationalize their behavior so they can live with themselves.
Im sure Karl Rove rationalizes his behavior where something illegal is done for the greater good and keeping this so called "Christian administration" in office. They will have a skewered view of history by intimidating the press about what is really going on. Stalin was able to do it with the "Pravda" in communist Russia but the whole world learned about his evil tactics just as most of the world knows already about the bully Bush more so unfortunately than the Americans do. They don't have a Rove to intimidate them!
I only have a couple of weeks to get a lot of things done before I leave the OK Zone. I feel a little better since I have written it down.
1. visit the IRS downtown. I have some money coming back that I need since my bank account has little left.
2. get copies of transcripts from all the colleges.
3. find a reliable tenant with a steady job and preferably a college education.
4. Call my father in Australia to tell him the good news. (that is one of the reasons I've been so reluctant to call him and still worry about some unfriendly judgemental person put a nail in my metaphoric tires.
5. get temporary health insurance with a high deductible for August.
6. Make a list of all the repairs that need to be done to help it be more suitable for a housemate where I leave a room or two for my garbage that I need to throw out.
7. Put an add in the Gazette or call a leasing company to help with the headache of finding a reliable renter that doesn't have a history of axe murders.
8. Do some more swimming to stay in shape for my last few weeks of summer vacation.
9. Get an update on my cell phone and cancel my regular phone.
10. Call the personell office and get verification of my employment from all the school districts that I worked in.
I was just offered 2000$ from a couple for Buffy at the Red Rooster but I of course declined!
I love going to that place and the fact that they allow dogs. This is the only bar in the country that allows dogs that I have noticed in all my travels throughout the country with the exception of a small pub in Nederland, 20 miles up the mountains from Boulder, Colorado. They only allowed Buffy in when they were about to close. I remember that they had the coolest hippy population in the area. The red rooster has a similar kind of coolness. The way I would define coolness is an accepting population regardless of your differences or eccentricities. I noticed that the man had been quietly observing my dog play and socialize with others in the pub. His girlfriend came up and said how she wanted to even borrow my dog to take to Florida for a few months. They wanted to take Buffy onto their boat. I was so flattered, but I realized how much I love this animal and how she won't dump me like many girlfriends have in the past. I spent almost 2000$ on a lousy computer that was outdated as soon as I bought it. She told me how beautiful she was and well trained. They must have figured a puppy with her experience in travelling to different places would be beneficial. This way they wouldn't have to train a dog.
Every time I take her out in public people say that they want her if I ever have to give her up. I don't want to ever to do that. That would break my heart.
I'm getting used to being without stuff as I will have to get used to that when I move to my new adventure. Yesterday I had two great pieces of information!
In the mail was the letter to sign for my intent to teach after the offer and that Danny's Blues Saloon was bought and they fired all the staff! Some bartenders/dresses think that their shit doesn't stink and don't know what customer satisfaction is yet they still expect tips. It's about time they are thrown out onto the streets scrounging for work as I have been doing. Humility is a great thing especially in the service industry. They often seem to forget where their bread is buttered. Maybe I will check it out tonight after being banned for over 2 years.
Its almost like seeing an old girlfriend that dumped you has become fat, ugly, her life is miserable and the spell is over.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
President Now Says Anyone Convicted in Connection With the Leak Will Be Fired
By JENNIFER LOVEN, AP
ReutersKarl Rove was named as a source for the identity of a CIA operative by a Time magazine reporter.
WASHINGTON (July 19) - President Bush qualified his pledge to dismiss any White House official found to have leaked the name of a CIA operative, saying Monday that ''if someone committed a crime'' he would be fired.
In September 2003, the White House had said anyone who leaked classified information in the case would be dismissed. Bush reiterated that promise last June, saying he would fire anyone found to have disclosed the CIA officer's name.
Democrats said Bush in his new comments had ''lowered the ethics bar'' for his administration.
Bush would not say whether he was displeased that Rove, the deputy chief of staff, told a reporter that the wife of administration critic Joseph Wilson worked for the CIA on weapons of mass destruction issues. A 2003 phone call with Rove was the first time that Matthew Cooper of Time magazine had heard that Wilson's wife worked at the agency, according to a first-person account by Cooper in the magazine.
The president, in an East Room news conference with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, said there was a ''serious ongoing investigation.''
''I think it's best that people wait until the investigation is complete before you jump to conclusions. And I will do so, as well,'' he said. ''I don't know all the facts. I want to know all the facts.''
Rove's involvement in the leak case has worried Republicans, already anxious about Bush's decline in opinion polls. Only a fourth of Americans believe the White House is fully cooperating with the investigation, according to an ABC News poll released Monday. That number has dropped from half in September 2003 when the probe began.
Democrats contended that Bush's comments indicated he was lowering the administration's ethical standards.
''It appears that an administration that came to office promising 'honesty and integrity' and to avoid 'legalisms' is now defining ethical standards downward,'' said Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich.
''In this White House, apparently no aide will be fired or forced to resign unless and until the jail cell door is locked behind him.''
Reporter Reveals More
Reporter Matthew Cooper reveals exactly what Karl Rove told him in the latest issue of Time Magazine.
· Read Cooper's Report
In July 2003, syndicated columnist Robert Novak, citing unnamed administration officials, wrote that Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, worked for the CIA.
A 1982 law prohibits the deliberate exposure of the identity of an undercover CIA official. Wilson has accused the White House of trying to orchestrate a dirty-tricks campaign to discredit him after he challenged the administration's assertion that Saddam Hussein was seeking material from Niger to make nuclear weapons and said the White House had manipulated pre-war intelligence to justify an Iraq invasion.
While Rove has not disputed that he told Cooper that Wilson's wife worked for the agency, he has insisted through his lawyer that he did not mention her by name.
Said Bush on Monday, ''I would like this to end as quickly as possible so we know the facts, and if someone committed a crime, they will no longer work in my administration.''
The phrasing was unusual for the president, who campaigned for office in 2000 on a pledge ''to restore honor and dignity'' to a White House he implied had been sullied by scandals of the Clinton administration.
White House press secretary Scott McClellan would not say whether Bush meant an indictment or a conviction when he referred to a crime, or whether he considered leaking itself to be a crime. Nor would McClellan acknowledge that the president created a standard different from previous statements out of the White House.
''I think that the president was stating what is obvious when it comes to people who work in the administration: that if someone commits a crime, they're not going to be working any longer in this administration,'' McClellan said.
Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., said Bush's standard for firing Rove was not consistent with a 2-year-old executive order governing the protection of national secrets. Under the order, Bush is required to impose administrative sanctions such as dismissal if anyone acted negligently in confirming information about Plame's identity.
Howard Dean, head of the Democratic Party, said Bush ''lowered the ethics bar'' and should go back to his earlier pledge.
07-19-05 01:08 EDT
Bush Family Values
"idiotstick": seek attention in a narcissistic way, have been brainwashed by fox and rush . This has severely limited their ability to think clearly.
"idiotstick": generally iq of the species is about 93. avg iq of fast food server or telemarketer.
"idiotstick": retard, John Kerry, Gihad cindy, liberlas, French fries
"idiotstick": other one liners of the owners of this term of endearment:
"idiotstick": since inhabiting this website more than any mentally sane blogger would
"idiotstick": copyright gwb/alias stella blue 2004
the music man: Could you imagine what Bush would say. He'd say: 1."Well, I'd get up instead of sitting there frozen for 7 minutes" >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 2.I wouldn't have stayed on vacation so long this summer. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 3. I'd regret not nuking Iraq and Iran...in the name of Jesus Christ...amen.
the music man: Woody Allen just turned 70. Upon reflection of his life he said," I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I'd make the same mistakes all over again, today. Good for you Woodman, for your honesty, instead of some bull$hit answer most people would give.
The music man: Check out the 885 best albums of all time from 88.5 wxpn Philadelphia [LINK]
turkey: tired of the liberties hes taken with them and flashing their illegal passports in their faces!
turkey: may oreilly grovel over in the dust while suffering a knee in his shrivelling pecker from one his angry illegal maidens!
turkey: may Hannity fry in the laughter of late night comedians!
turkey: may he have a stroke on choking on his potato chips and oxycontin pills!
turkey: me have a stroke on his potato chips and oxycontin
turkey: roasted rushmellows! tdf!
turkey: jule tides and merry bowls of cannabis while in hope that st nick will bring the president roasted on a spit , with a side order of rove!! TDF!
turkey: roasted pork on an open fire!
turkey: ding dong the bush is gone!!
turkey: What a Merry Merry Xmas!
turkey: mmm roasted george w bush for xmas
turkey: cant wait for these red neck turkeys to be basted with butter ...mmm and roast pork!
turkey: thanksgiving is comin up!
For Doodles , LOFL!!: Question: Will this induce Fatboy to start gulping down Oxycontins??
For Doodles , LOFL!!: This just in...The Alfranken Show just beat Rush Fatboy in the Sanfranciso and Portland Oregon markets...2 of the top 23 markets. The rumor of their demise is greatly exaggerated.
Liberal Weiners: Silly liberals-watch them play.
Liberal Weiners: This one is good...."People actually believe their lies...especially the ones on teh radio...People think"if it's on teh radio it must be true !" Especially coming from someone who listens to Randi Rhodes and the rest of the Air America circus clowns! LOL too funny!
Liberal Weiners: does this sound like a peaceful liberal??? "read the article idiot stick up your sodomized ass!" I thought they were all about peace?
Liberal Weiners: I love how this turkey spends most of the afternoon criticizing Christians but then says : "because you are evil and are not the peaceful christians that I respect!" does that make sense to anyone?
Liberal Weiners: You are just ignoring it!
Liberal Weiners: No, you are wrong Son. Jesus knows you though! He is tugging at your heart more and more everyday!
BornagainNBC: I wish that I didnt know you, but I do and despise everything about you!
Liberal Weiners: I am not a hippy(nothing to be proud of) and church is tomorrow(we do not speak in tongues) but thanks for the concern!
BornagainNBC: lata idiot stick!
Liberal Weiners: Once again-you are not the boss of me and you don't know me-am I right?? Last time I checked-you do not know me!
BornagainNBC: go to your church and speak in tongues and pretend to be a hippy!!
BornagainNBC: because you are evil and are not the peaceful christians that I respect!
Liberal Weiners: I would love to stay and read all your cutting and pasting but I have a life. Have a swell evening paranoid-liberal-weiner!
Liberal Weiners: Don't tell me what I am and what I am not! You aren't the boss of me!!! LOL
BornagainNBC: What the Christian right spends a lot of time doing," says Marc Wolin, a moderate Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Congress from San Francisco last year, "is going after obscure party posts. They try to control the party apparatus in each county. We have a lot to fear from these people. They want to set up a theocracy in America.
Liberal Weiners: What is it like to be so paranoid about the Christians???
BornagainNBC: Americans need to be aware of your corrupt religious party!
BornagainNBC: Across the nation, in primary after primary, stunned Republican leaders echoed the lament of one longtime party activist in Texas, a personal friend of Barbara Bush, who suddenly found herself ousted by the fundamentalists. "They organized and we didn't," she said. "I didn't think it was going to be this bad.
BornagainNBC: On the same day, several hundred miles to the north in Santa Clara Country, another slate of "biblically oriented" candidates--committed to the death penalty for such sins as homosexuality and abortion--captured 14 of 20 seats on the Republican county central committee. The GOP apparatus in the nation's most populous state is within a few votes of being absolutely controlled by the Christian right
BornagainNBC: In June, in the San Diego County towns of Lemon Grove and El Cajon, a slate of "pro-family" Christian right activists financed by a group of conservative businessmen swept the Republican primary for all of the open council seats, along with a slew of state assembly seats.
BornagainNBC: The so-called Christian activists have finally gained control," she explained in her resignation letter, "and the Grand Old Party is more religious cult than political organization
BornagainNBC: and the president is incompetent
BornagainNBC: you as warped as the KKK
BornagainNBC: because you are not christian
Liberal Weiners: What is it like to be so paranoid about the Christians??
Liberal Weiners: What is it like to have so much hate for our President??
More --> from oct. 31
Friday, July 22, 2005
After I came back about 10 or 15 minutes later, M had calmed down. She understands me more and how I feel hurt when I'm disrespected. Her respect for me had waned as I took a voluntary year leave from working. This was a chance to devote to the dream of writing a book,documentary, website.
Along comes Buffy at the end of winter. She gave me motivation to wake up and absorb the world the way she does when she is let off her leash to run after squirrels, birds and chipmunks. Her excitement helps me the see the world again and she is so refreshing to take for a walk.
When I am feeling down, I can seek the warmth of my canine and I immediately feel better.
"You are needy! You want to cuddle all the time!"
Her words echo over and over in my mind throughout the morning. as I nod off while watching one of the Lance's last stages shown on OLN.
Muffy just arrived home and we are getting ready for the beach. For a minute I was so happy and then,
"You ate 6 slices of ham and left only 3? Did you not know that we were going to make sandwiches today?"
"I thought that you were trying to get rid of them even offering some for Buffy"
"You are so fucking retarded!"
she screams while Buffy looks at her, his tail wagging, but I think she knew her step mistress was pissed and sat her canine ass down in front of her at least hoping that she will pet her.
M storms downstairs with Buffy following her in eagerness! (She actually whines everytime Muffy leaves. She was even whining while sitting in the bathroom with me while I read about creative writing using one's inner critic. My child has really bonded to her! )
ITEMS FOR OUR PICNIC:
1. CAMCORDER AND ACCESORIES.
5. BLUE SPEEDOS FROM THE GOLD COAST
6. SHORTS, SHIRT
7. SUN TAN CREME
8. HYDROCORTISONE FOR POISON IVY
9. INSECT REPELLANT?
Best day of the trip even though we kept forgetting material, both of us having evidence of Alzheimers!
Sunday 1am :(
Im realizing more and more about what I need to be in control of. I can learn to tolerate some behaviors and sometimes realize that if I can't get the respect that I will tolerate, then its time to assert yourself or walk away from the situation regardless of the time of the month and it could happen anytime.
I want to spend more time chatting with you but just feel so angry that no one will listen to me; or why do I end up spending time with folks that don't like hearing my voice?
I've realized in my travels there are folks that enjoy being with me and I need to find out being with people that do enjoy what I have to say. I need to work on so many of my social skills but I think it's so important about always being autonomous with myself and my family (Buffy). I will not let the mores of a stifling society inhibit my own creativity or my own voice when I write.
Maybe I will feel better when I heat up the catfish from our dinner together. Things were going wonderful until she signed my credit card when I asked her not to do that because I let her do that before. It just seems that people get angry at you stepping over their boundaries but they have a right to disrespect your own boundaries.
Ill finally get out of here and let M pursue her dreams and her own reality while I pursue mine without her brain for organization. It was wonderful to watch Lance win the tour with Lance looking like one of the happiest men in the world. He has vacation with his family and the ultimate girlfriend, Sheryl Crowe.
He has the world within his grasp and I think that she believes that she can do anything with her own superman!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Memo central to probe of leak spelled out information’s status
MORE ON WASHINGTONPOST.COM
Updated: 5:32 p.m. ET July 21, 2005
A classified State Department memorandum central to a federal leak investigation contained information about CIA officer Valerie Plame in a paragraph marked "(S)" for secret, a clear indication that any Bush administration official who read it should have been aware the information was classified, according to current and former government officials.
Plame -- who is referred to by her married name, Valerie Wilson, in the memo -- is mentioned in the second paragraph of the three-page document, which was written on June 10, 2003, by an analyst in the State Department's Bureau of Intelligence and Research (INR), according to a source who described the memo to The Washington Post.
The paragraph identifying her as the wife of former ambassador Joseph C. Wilson IV was clearly marked to show that it contained classified material at the "secret" level, two sources said. The CIA classifies as "secret" the names of officers whose identities are covert, according to former senior agency officials.
Anyone reading that paragraph should have been aware that it contained secret information, though that designation was not specifically attached to Plame's name and did not describe her status as covert, the sources said. It is a federal crime, punishable by up to 10 years in prison, for a federal official to knowingly disclose the identity of a covert CIA official if the person knows the government is trying to keep it secret.
Prosecutors attempting to determine whether senior government officials knowingly leaked Plame's identity as a covert CIA operative to the media are investigating whether White House officials gained access to information about her from the memo, according to two sources familiar with the investigation.
Three key questions
The memo may be important to answering three central questions in the Plame case: Who in the Bush administration knew about Plame's CIA role? Did they know the agency was trying to protect her identity? And, who leaked it to the media?
Almost all of the memo is devoted to describing why State Department intelligence experts did not believe claims that Saddam Hussein had in the recent past sought to purchase uranium from Niger. Only two sentences in the seven-sentence paragraph mention Wilson's wife.
The memo was delivered to Secretary of State Colin L. Powell on July 7, 2003, as he headed to Africa for a trip with President Bush aboard Air Force One. Plame was unmasked in a syndicated column by Robert D. Novak seven days later.
Wilson has said his wife's identity was revealed to retaliate against him for accusing the Bush administration of "twisting" intelligence to justify the Iraq war. In a July 6 opinion piece in the New York Times, he cited a secret mission he conducted in February 2002 for the CIA, when he determined there was no evidence that Iraq was seeking uranium for a nuclear weapons program in the African nation of Niger.
White House officials discussed Wilson's wife's CIA connection in telling at least two reporters that she helped arrange his trip, according to one of the reporters, Matthew Cooper of Time magazine, and a lawyer familiar with the case.
Prosecutors have shown interest in the memo, especially when they were questioning White House officials during the early days of the investigation, people familiar with the probe said.
Karl Rove, President Bush's deputy chief of staff, has testified that he learned Plame's name from Novak a few days before telling another reporter she worked at the CIA and played a role in her husband's mission, according to a lawyer familiar with Rove's account. Rove has also testified that the first time he saw the State Department memo was when "people in the special prosecutor's office" showed it to him, said Robert Luskin, his attorney.
"He had not seen it or heard about it before that time," Luskin said.
Several other administration officials were on the trip to Africa, including senior adviser Dan Bartlett, then-White House spokesman Ari Fleischer and others. Bartlett's attorney has refused to discuss the case, citing requests by the special counsel. Fleischer could not be reach for comment yesterday.
Rove and Vice President Cheney's chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, have been identified as people who discussed Wilson's wife with Cooper. Prosecutors are trying to determine the origin of their knowledge of Plame, including whether it was from the INR memo or from conversations with reporters.
Niger trip discussed
The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday that the memo made it clear that information about Wilson's wife was sensitive and should not be shared. Yesterday, sources provided greater detail on the memo to The Post.
The material in the memo was based on notes taken by an INR analyst who attended a Feb. 19, 2002, meeting at the CIA where Wilson's intelligence-gathering trip to Niger was discussed.
The memo was drafted June 10, 2003, for Undersecretary of State Marc Grossman, who asked to be brought up to date on INR's opposition to the White House view that Hussein was trying to buy uranium in Africa.
The description of Wilson's wife and her role in the Feb. 19, 2002, meeting at the CIA was considered "a footnote" in a background paragraph in the memo, according to an official who was aware of the process.
It records that the INR analyst at the meeting opposed Wilson's trip to Niger because the State Department, through other inquiries, already had disproved the allegation that Iraq was seeking uranium from Niger. Attached to the INR memo were the notes taken by the senior INR analyst who attended the 2002 meeting at the CIA.
On July 6, 2003, shortly after Wilson went public on NBC's "Meet the Press" and in The Post and the New York Times discussing his trip to Niger, the INR director at the time, Carl W. Ford Jr., was asked to explain Wilson's statements for Powell, according to sources familiar with the events. He went back and reprinted the June 10 memo but changed the addressee from Grossman to Powell.
Ford last year appeared before the federal grand jury investigating the leak and described the details surrounding the INR memo, the sources said. Yesterday he was on vacation in Arkansas, according to his office.
© 2005 The Washington Post Company
Saturday, July 16, 2005
I am enjoying my time with her while she takes a nap. I only have a month before I go back to work and my mind needs to go into that reality. I have to call my father while some of my judgemental readers think my dad hates me. Sometimes, it is just tolerating myself and I know my differences were only cute to Alene. I want to talk about my deepest feelings to you but sometimes I think that only a few out there might understand. I have these dreams of writing this book and making this incredibly funny, yet serious dogumentary. But I know that realistically, my most immediate hope is that I have a succesful year working in a new place and culture. I want to immerse myself in this rebirth of my other career that puts bread on the metaphoric table.
I went to the farmers market before noon with M's temper on a short leash as far as me when I have a little buzz... this only agravates her own intolerance for my stupidity in public waiting and worrying about every every word that might be misinterpreted by strangers.
I wish that LA would help me get the counter back just to satisfy the curiosity about how many might be interested in this crap esp the obsessed internet junkies from the www.hereinreality.com tag board.
Wow!.. what a bunch of characters obsessed with their own soap opera full of computer nerds and pervs, two sides of this country more polarized than ever since the Civil War, continually berating each other with glee and selfrighteous zealotry.
I wish that I could slow down time like so many people wish they could. I often have the anxiety that it will be the last summer of fun before I turn 50. People were a lot older at 50 when I was growing up and remember Dad being 50 and that generation was so far off from me. I almost felt that there was so much time to really enjoy life and be happy.
How often do we look back at our happiest moments wondering if we will be so happy again?
Occasionally, we might be envious of some one else's life and wishing that you could share it with her or the family that you were briefly a part of?
I have been much happier than I have been in a few years since I fell so deeply in love trying to appreciate every moment of joy afraid to think or even go the idea that it might end. I felt more a part of a family then but the anxiety and responsibility of committing myself to this family overwhelmed me. It was so much easier but oh so depressing for the only worry about how I might take care of myself.
Impulsively taking on a puppy matured me but at the same time she brought out my child when I saw every day a whole new day when Buffy would be running with glee and excitement at this new spring day blooming all around her in my grassy backyard jungle.
Seeing her run with her sharpe chow jowels flapping up and down almost making it look like she was so happy when naturally her jowels make such a sad looking puppy.
The natural sadness composed by God, makes every other beautiful maiden want to breast feed her from their mammary glands. Buffy just makes herself at home in the delicious lap of the nurturing future mother. Buffy gives a sigh of contentment in her arms.
she rolls her eyes at where Garvald lets his mind wander to such lustful thoughts... "sick"
Seriously, to suddenly have a loving animal that would take so much of the focus off of your morbid thoughts worked far better than some man made pharmaceutical to fuck with your chemicals in your body and possibly even affect your love life. Why risk all that when all you need is a gorgeous canine to bring you out of the repressive Republican regime in the heart of JesusLand.??
The impulsive idea of escaping with your family, Garvald and Buffy, to see all the possibilities of where you might enjoy settling becomes a better alternative. You feel that anywhere is better than the stupefying stigmafying stenchdefying angry humid hot air of stifling stinking rednecks.
Others might wonder where his days go and how this man has too much time on his hand.
Right now he's in this Lance limbo wishing that he could do what Lance did and end up happily ever after with this gorgeous Rock Star he might listen to while hustling up the Rockies ..his idol was training to prove to be one of or the greatest athletes and survivors of mankind.
"a beer buzz early in the morning"
He imagines waking up to Cheryl's tight little rock starlet body all over his bionic body. He is her superman, invulnerable to cancer.
all of his discipline has paid off and now he can relax and temporarily rest on his laurels before he decides to run for office.
Imagine if he put his incredible discipline into reforming the government and kick the ass of the current cancer that is destroying this government!
Ms. Crowe is the first Lady...hmmmm..
While on this fortnight buzz of Lance and Shagstock, Garvald has to get back to the reality of survival and working for a living. All of those things that he has been escaping from, he needs to look into their eyes without fear, handle these demons, these minor and major challenges that are obstacles in the way of accomplishing his own Tour de Garvald.
He needs to know he could handle these hills and the flatlands, learning to cruise to regather his breath, nourishment and sustenance physically and spritually all around him.
Well I realized that I still need to do much editing but getting a job maybe has created a dose of reality that temporarily put the idea of this blog/book/dog umentary on limbo...
While I drink another cup of coffee and chocholate ice cream while waiting for M to come home from her first day of work after all my sexual healing (too much info??),,,I need to surprise her by washing the dishes so I can work for board and not be a freeloader as female leeches might use that term derogatorily while being obsessed with their imaginary life on the internet
...as Rove turns over on the roast
Maybe one of the profound feelings of happiness is able to be able to turn down a principal in Okc. I almost have a hard time saying no to folks or just learning to be in command of my own life and my career.
Today is another boring day at least M and I are able to share the same politics while she learns to be an independent woman relieved to abdicate the responsibilities to her daughter's father.
I am amazed at this woman's resilience and ability to survive. Now she has her whole life ahead of her to pursue her career!
She was dressing up for a job interview this morning and she looked so business like yet so sexy I just wanted to stupp her then and there instead of giving her a taste of whats more to come. She could look and be an executive or female wonder woman lawyer! When she puts herself to a goal, I see how she can realize it especially the way she tackled the monumental mess in my Okie settlement.
I need to get out and enjoy the summer and away from the computer. It drags you in like the boob tube!
It was cool seeing some warm friendly faces at the Buzzard Beach in Westport, smiling Dave, another man whos wife just kicked cancers ass and her hair is growing in fully. Seeing all of these warm benchmarks almost like its a neighborhood bar like The Rooster is at the edge of the Paseo in Okc. (Buzzard Beach is cool but wouldnt allow puppies like the Rooster does).
I loved meeting the chess players again down at the Westport FleaMarket. My ass was kicked while I was downing two of their famous greasy cheese burgers cooked with onions. The best thing about the meal were the onions and fresh slices of tomatoes mixed in with the burger and ketchup. I need to avoid these foods and have my cholesterol checked to make sure it's still below 200.
I am looking forward to helping students with chess as a way to help them focus better especially if they become emotional and have ADHD. They will learn proper sportsmanship. The school is the best in the state in chess!
Lance is winning the tour. I will miss him next summer, but I need to get out to cooler places. This heat is stifling in KC.
Thursday 1254 am (I will edit this run on sentence for Muffy)
I was feeling tired but then the frustration turns into anger. Why I should let the many moods of a woman bother my own happiness or temporary state of bliss before the anxiety rolls in? I know that I have to take care of a lot of things before school starts. M respects me more, but I feel like she was especially tired of me today. I was so happy when she told me that she has good rapport with her boss's boss. The manager wants to get ideas from her about what would help the apartment complex. I wanted to give her a compliment but she didn't want to listen to me.
Its my own fault that I am not making my own fun yet I'm selfishly hoping that she will entertain me because it's her town. I temporarily adopted this town and missed it far more than OKC. The folks around KC seem so much more friendly than the superficial pseudo Christian shallow friendliness of OKC.
I need to learn better about her cycles or follow the calendar so I might plan my itinerary to avoid her in these negative line inducing periods of accelerating anger.
She almost jokes that it could be as much as 10 days before Aunt Flo when her moodiness accelerates where you feel she is on edge and intimidated into not even talking or she will blow a gasket.
I try to talk to her about how we can get along with my ADD and her own compulsion to be in control. Since I am passive I am very willing to let her have the remote and my wardrobe ( what she is willing to let me be seen in public wearing; at least a well dressed middle aged bald bum attire). She gets very mad when I tell her not to nag me about my Buffy about food, water, or jumping on the neighbors car when she greets them. I feel that I should not let someone else decide how I should parent my dog. Women do it more than men with the exception of my neighborhood social chairman when his puppy is out of control. Its amazing how we treat these dogs as our children.
Im feeling tired but I might visit these crazy freaks on the www.hereinreality.com tagboard for a few minutes
lata mates ;)
My little M is getting ready to write a comment soon to respond to the above that she has not read yet while upstairs watching Lance and teasing Republicans on the tagboard.
"More heat or more rain?" 613 pm
I know M, the paralysis sets in like hemlock was going into the veins of Socrates
especially when its hot out
while time accelerates
while we get depressed about the inevitability that all this consciousness will be gone or does it also get recycled within the earth and universe?
Full moon and Mars closer to the earth than it ever has been??
Last night Muffy and I laughed about all these coincidences while I rode her premenstrual roller coaster. News from the boob tube:
The large shark caught after the deadline that would barely squeeze into Muffy's living room,
the pit bull dog that destroyed a woman car in its quest of a tomcat,
the talks of medication or not for children with ADD?
all of these coincidences flowing together almost wierdly phrophetic about the ebbs and flow of time.
Muffy sees that he's comfortable and asleep with apparent sexual arousal.
Garvald wakes up with her screaming at him that it's
"TIME TO GET UP. BUFFY NEEDS TO BE LET OUT! YOU NEED TO FEED HER!
YOU ALWAYS GRAB AND WANT TO PULL ME DOWN THERE WITH YOU!
Later in the evening, she starts in on him,
"I don't get angry at anyone else but you. You just get on my nerves!"
I am afraid to answer knowing that anything coming out of my mouth will be twisted around more than the Spanish Inquisitor demanded the soul and body of her victims. Imagine if the inquisitor, in her religious robes, in her prementstrual low blood sugar balanced anger, felt justified, while her nostrils inflated more and more at the vicim's "clueless" stupidity only accentuated by natural herbs. It seems like depending on the brand it only accentuates her low blood sugar balance. I am desperate to feed her before she predictably roars,
"When are you leaving??"
" I only want to help you andI can see your career blossom, honey chile!"
"This nicorette is not working. I need a cigarette!"
"Can you just listen to me for a minute, even while you smoke?"
"NO!!You ramble over and over about the same things! I'M tired of listening to you!"
TRANSFERENCE TO 3RD PERSON WHEN DEALING WITH CONSTANT TRAUMA:
He slumps onto her leather couch and sighs, reaching for his herb which sometimes only makes things worse,he thinks. Garvald turns on the TV and hopes she will cheer up. He is excited about a good conversation that Muffy had with her daughter for over half an hour on the phone.
They go for a walk taking their child who she incessantly nags him about. Even though his checking accounts are very low, he wants to help her with college with a loan or just let her work for him since he is intimidated and overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork he has ahead of him in the next few weeks of this fastly disappearing summer...lulled into just laying on the metaphoric hammock for a couple of weeks... the female species sees this drone lying in her fragile web not bringing anything home but herb...she wants to either eat it for nourishment or send it off to gather some honey
She blows a gasket and starts screaming at him at a lower octave than the social chairman of the neighborhood he temporarily escaped from. He walks away with Buffy avoiding the controversy for his own sanity and safety as his heart approaches the half century of beating outside his mother's womb, while she storms back to her home.
Garvald follows her like a rejected puppy dog, frustrated that the more he tries to please her, the angrier she gets at him. Her daughters father is the opposite of him. Why is she attracted to such a wimp? She thinks....
What do you think???
He worries about her response and decides to escape again to the Broadway Cafe in Westport and his friends of moral support at the Buzzard Beach.
while she goes off to work,
"You clueless fool!"
If he can quit prograsstinating
afraid to know when his reality check will get back home, he tears himself up with indecisive paralysis while pecking a little more on his metaphoric cave walls perhaps for other generations to see??
the ADD Neanderthal...
How did he survive, as nearsighted as his genes were?
Is it safe to be home tonight ???
or will she menstruate before she goes into the white widow stage of gathering up her stored up venom to lethally inject him
with her perspective
of what an irresponsible bum that he is!!!#@%^&*...
11:20 listening to letterman and afraid to go downstair for the negative vibes to be so thick
"a wierd boyfriend!"
"What?" while the fan roars and frustrates and doesnt help his ability to focus. She talks of him and walks out anytime he wishes to talk. He cannot relax. The guests sense it too and feel uncomfortable. She will read this and blow a gasket, but hopefully after Aunt Flo comes to visit.
2:16 almost ashamed to write for fear of some sort of retribution for airing my innermost thoughts....paranoia that people dont want me to succeed or especially be happy from the people that I want to befriend me the most ,
they shun me out of their own selfish desire to have what they want and they rationalize their anger for that person.
My goal tomorrow, (today) will be to gather as much strength from the day..avoid the herb as it only accentuate my stupidity, her low tolerance for ADD accelerated by her own low blood sugar and further imbalanced being that she's at the end of her cycle . I will make it a point of avoiding any negativity and not give her cause for her restricted blood vessels to burst.
Yours truly, Garvald.
Report; Posted on: 2005-03-20 19:19:27 [ Printer friendly / Instant flyer ]
Sexual misconduct and homosexuality "trendy" on Capitol Hill.
by David Mullenax
Barnes Review News editor, Walter Storch, shocked the nation recently alleging chief Republican strategist, Karl Rove (pictured), participated in homosexual orgies in the Washington D.C. area.
”Karl Rove was seen by one of my people entering a private homosexual orgy at a five-star Washington hotel over the Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL) weekend last year," the respected editor commented.
In a written statement Storch detailed the activities of the GOP strongman, and noted that homosexual activity is "trendy" on Capitol Hill. "Karl used to hang out at JR's, which is on 17th between P & S streets, before he became so well-known. This is a respectable gay bar for discreet people...," adding, "there is an expensive apartment...over near Dupont Circle that certain powerful senators take turns visiting with their pickups."
American voters recalled how the neo-conservative Republican platform paraded their anti-homosexual agenda, which many political pundits claim led to the re-election of President George W. Bush, and they are outraged over the latest story. Many staunch Republicans are embarrassed by the allegations and feel betrayed as Rove's alleged behavior runs contrary to previous party rhetoric.
Washington insiders suggest that bizarre sexual behavior and homosexual fetishes are commonplace among America's politicians.
TBR News, who carries an extensive selection of Barnes Review books and plans to serialize the personal correspondences of President Bush, reported that, "one Supreme Court Justice, several governors (all Republican) and at least one very prominent televangelist" are engaging in a variety of lurid sexual activities that the American public would find distasteful.
In a related story, former Nebraska state senator and attorney John DeCamp announced the arrest of photographer Russell E. "Rusty" Nelson, which occurred two days after the alleged suicide of journalist Hunter Thompson -- whose flamboyant writing became known as “gonzo journalism." Sources close to the investigation suggest Nelson's collection of sexually explicit photographs of U.S. politicians caught the attention of political muscle-men.
According to investigative journalist Tom Flocco, "both men [Nelson, Thompson] had allegedly witnessed homosexual prostitution and pedophile criminal acts in a suppressed but far-reaching child sex-ring probe closely linked to Senate and House members...” In a 1999 U.S. District court trial, the photographer Nelson had informed Judge Warren Urbom that he was in possession of over 30,000 pictures that would place a number of politicians in career ending situations.
During the same trial, Judge Urbom heard eye-witness testimony from a young boy who was kidnapped and forced into sexual slavery for U.S. politicians:
"Where were the parties?...down in Washington, DC... and that was for sex... There was sex between adult men and other adult men but most of it had to do with young boys and young girls with the older folks... specifically for sex with minors... Also in Washington, DC, there were parties after a party... there were a lot of parties where there would be senators and congressmen who had nothing to do with the sexual stuff. But there were some senators and congressmen who stayed for the [pedophile sex] parties afterwards... on a lot of the trips he took us on he had us, I mean, I met some people that I don't feel comfortable telling their name because I don't want to --- ...Q: Are you scared?...Yes..."
Patriotic European-Americans are demanding answers to the allegations of sexual misconduct, abuses, and homosexual orgies participated in by elected politicians. The Jewish-controlled mass-media blackout of these chilling stories is causing an increase in the skepticism felt by those seeking an honest and nationalist government.
Bush Sticks It to Conservatives Again (2004-11-12 23:58:28)
House Slows Bush Plan to Make Illegals 'Legal' (2004-11-11 21:28:30)
2004 Election was Stolen (2004-11-08 01:09:38
orally: while I cop feels on the young secretaries!! TDF
orally: yeh those poor minorities hanging out on rooftops made poor choices TDF
orally: pretending hes a libertarian!! hehe
orally: sounds like darth after couple of decades and large beer gut hopin to make it with the secretary
orally: Bill O'Reilly is host of The O'Reilly Factor on the FOX news channel. O'Reilly poses as an objective independent news analyst with a no-spin zone. In reality, he's a biased Republican with an all spin-zone.
orally: very perverted individual that for some reason views Rove and Oreilly as rock star and sex symbols= obviously a sign of a very sexually frustrated individual
orally: very perverted individual that for some reason views Rove and Oreilly as rock star and sex symbols= obvioujsly a sign of a very sexually frustrated individual
oleilly: excuse me while I sexually harass my secretary. She's more than balanced. Top heavy!
oleilly: OReilly Loves U: Bill is fair and balanced..TDF!
OReilly Loves U: Karl Rove
OReilly Loves U: Bill is fair and balanced
OReilly Loves U: got it
bacon: oreilly and rove will be cell mates!
bacon: oreilly wont have a job
OReilly Loves U: Bruce Springsteen sucks
bacon: workin on a pig farm!
OReilly Loves U: Was that the real GwB? It is October!
OReilly Loves U: LOL-when are you going to get a job?
bacon: and eggs!!
A Liberal: A Loser.
EggHead dot com: Does he shave his onion too?
EggHead dot com: Who is this Doodles dude?
LOL!!!: O, I wonder if Papa (Second Assistant of the Third Lackey to the General) O'Doodles is a sodomist too? Doodles' sounds like learned behaviour.
EggHead dot com: but no shaving cream
funny characters on this site!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
I try to think that he won't start off from where we left off with his explosive lecture on how great he is with computers. Sure enough, he holds a grudge for several weeks. I make the mistake of forgiving him for burglarizing my place and he lets me relax with him and I almost am lured into complacency where he starts his tirades again with me.
I wave to him when he stares at me in his one of his hyperactive walks across the street to flirt with a neighbor. He responds with,
and then later flips me off when I clap when he has to show his expertise in dogs by catching it.
I keep talking to Muffy and other neighbors that you have to realize the source and just rise above it.
When he starts one of his tirades, I just cut him off and say
"Don't talk to me!"
It is sure nice to get away for OKC again when one is dealing with anger. I have found that when I'm irritated it's best to go get a cup of coffee, get some fresh air and take a deep breath. I am very happy about many things and won't let others spoil my happiness.
It is so wonderful to be with that special someone again and share in the happiness. I did not realize how much I missed her and see everything that she can give to the world. I am so lucky that I met her.
It was great visiting Schwagstock It was a wonderful weekend of wonderful folks. I sense that folks are getting very tired of Bush and there will be a peaceful revolution against how the government is taking away more rights under the guise of the patriot act and right wing Christians that don't want folks to have freedom.
I was doing a lot of filming of the music, the nomadic culture of the wonderful people and spirit that generally lets others be.
Muffy was a little peeved that I was honest about my harmless flirtations and feels that they would not have been harmless if there was any interest. Maybe or maybe not??
I am excited about a new future. I had a great phone call to appease any anxietylI know that there are still very judgemental folks (so I won't even go into it) that still read this site and are either jealous or have no life. I worry about giving too much information even though this site is fictitious so the characters wont trie to sue.
Muffy and I went to the library and she got a book about ADD in the workplace . I think it helps both of us realize more about my disability. I loved treating her to lunch at our favorite Japanese restaurant in Westport while we both read the book. I spilled my Miso soup on her and this was the first time that she wasnt mad at me for one of these ADD moments perhaps because it was while we were both laughing about ADD. It made me love her that much more.
She is much more at peace with herself while she gets healthier.
I was checking out this site www.hereinreality.com . So called Christian Republican folks love to visit the site and harass. They remind me of the hypocricy of others that will feel better only when they make others unhappy.
Great day with Muffy up till she saw what I filmed on the sidewalks of Vegas. Unfortunately, my liberties with the camera have set her off. I love her and we have had the most fantastic time and she is so excited about my future. I have been honest about my flirting with her but perhaps the camera was too obvious where my eyes go as far as enjoying aesthetically pleasing people.
I think it is only natural for us to see things the way they are and look for ways that we can really enjoy life. I am learning how short a time we have and I'm trying to enjoy the moment better.
Muffy will go out and flirt and tease all the males of the KC population while I stay at home with Buffy and enjoy the evening with 2 large St. Pauli beers and herbs. She will watch this band whose one member has big feet. Her sister noticed his large feet too. She wants me to be lonely tonight and suffer.
Buffy was just let inside by her and she scared me when she ran upstairs but then I felt so much better when I knew that I wasn't alone. I am a survivor and enjoy that aspect that I will survive on my own if I have to.
It is so nice to be back in the saddle with Muffy. I am excited about another turn in the career. I don't have the usual trepidations about the mundanity of going back to work because of the fact that it is in a new land immersed in a totally different culture. This will be the perfect place to grow and self actualize as a person. I can take the steps to get all my transcripts along with the many school districts for verification of where I work. I feel that I am making more steps to fulfilling myself. I will be back into the regularity and consistency of work while time still accelerates towards the inevitability but I have hope that I will fill up my life's DVD with even more exciting adventures while I stay young for as long as possible.
Now I have to think about renting my house but not make the same mistakes that I made before because I thought that I could trust people.
Muffy is going through a great deal of torture with her children. I think her new found freedom will give her the liberty to find herself through school. I am happy that she has a network of friends and family along with me to help her through all of this.
I hate that one of those TFA snots is right next door to me in the other portable.
It's hard enough dealing with emotionally disturbed kids to not deal with a 22 year old kid that thinks he's a great teacher and criticizes old folks that aren't mature. ( We had that conversation because he thought that James Barrie, the author of Peter Pan was a pedophile. There was no proof or evidence. These kind of accusations remind me of the folks that live on labeling people. It reminds me of of folks like Mcarthy who ruined the careers of celebrities by calling folks communists. I guess that I was so impressed with Johnny Depp's characterization of Barrie, that his blanket statement of Barrie bothered me. I googled Barrie and there was no evidence to confirm these rumors that have been carried on with his legend. I think of what a philanthropist that he was. All of the proceeds from the play are the main source of income for this hospital in London!)
He apparently thinks he's a great teacher. I almost envy the way a spoiled fat ass has learned how to get his way. He has a permanent scowl on his face like the principal . Maybe that's why he seem's to be one of her favorites. He's always in the office with the new sped director seeming to be kicking back and chilling. I attempted to have that rapport with her but I don't think that it will ever happen. When I say hello to her like I used to greet him, she never smiles either.
Mr. Thomas from Wewoka was one of the few principals that I could relax with and really feel that I could ask him anything.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Finally a warrior that was fighting in the crusades takes over the castle. He was a legend in his own mind. He immediately sets up a toll as soon as he and the trolless have established their fortress.
Everyone on the once peaceful river now has to pay a toll by listening to this troll. He even invites others to dine on his words. Had anybody heard of the charisma and charm of Genghis Khan, Atillah the hun, or the first redneck troll?
He is full of hot air and anger but has his little army of soldiers sworn in blood. His charm often works on those that believe in his mouth that would easily keep all the lawns along the river fertilized. Instead of only little amount of the manure, the river becomes over polluted with dirt, anger, and filth from the troll and his family.
The troll goes up and down the river by demanding tolls. The toll is to tolerate his hot air for 30 minutes.
This troll rationalizes his behavior thinking that he is making "his" river and the bend a better place. Instead it is only full of anger and hot air.
He especially demand tolls from the pretty maidens that stop by his corner of the river.
His goal in life was to have his own place and become this flirtatious troll. He will often go across the river to flirt with another lord's wife without any consequences from the trolless.
She is afraid that he will go into one of his many temper tantrums that reminds one of the plague that has taken over the kingdom "spoiled brat syndrome"
Anyone that disagrees or refuses to pay his toll will become a victim of his wrath. Even when others flee to distant lands, his tentacles of persuasion will work to make these victims suffer.
Other victims did not want to feel the hot air more foul than the local dragon and walked away only to suffer from his tantrums!
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