Friday, April 22, 2005

In and out of a state of Limbaugh?? And Happy Mother's Day, Muffy!

The wind is coming in strong and cold from the north so it would be easy to put up the sail and breeze back to Jesusland and ever expanding posteriors...where men are men and bar seats are afraid!

It is wonderful to make up. Muffy gets mad (totally volcanic) when I say that women become angry when they are not fed soon enough, Aunt Flo might show up or they haven't had a good stupping in a while.

I decided to avoid the confrontation last night and only wrote my own thoughts on why we are in a relationship when we are both such opposites??? She was nice this AM and I wanted to chauffeur Ms. Daisy to Longview and downtown to pick up checks. Everything was ok until Muffy said I could go to the plaza to look at eye candy but I wanted to treat her to a buffet somewhere in Westport. She started shaking her head and insisted on putting down the visor.
She didn't believe that it was blocking my field of vision for cars in the right lane.

The volcano erupted and I decided to walk Buffy rather than giving her the option of "tormenting" me all the way back the way woman can so effectively make you feel like shit...
I decided it would be safer to walk Buffy again so she wanted to slam the door almost knocking it off the hinges...I told her not to do that so she said,

"Don't you tell me to slam the door!"

as she tried to slam it again and I put my hand out so she would not have the satisfaction of seeing the passenger door fall off! She could not find a taxi for less than $50, so Buffy and I convinced her to come back. She sat in the back seat hiding behind my wardrobe of clothes hanging including my favorite suit that I never got around to wearing. I was going to drop of resumes in the caucasian flight stepburbs.

After the car ride she asked to let Buffy out to play and then when I shared my last few bowl of stuff with her. We both had a good cry and then ahhhh....shy rockets in flight....and we were both in love again! :)

Now I only have 20 minutes to tell you the moral of this tale....
a: make sure that a woman has plenty of healty food that she likes (that's the tough part) with you in easy reach or temptation for her before she gets to the fatal point of no return
(the radio comes on stating that folks that go into rages show sign of mental illness or manic depression and Muffy at least laughed at such an appropo time...It couldnt have said that at a more appropriate time!)
b. avoid her several days before the period as the distance between the visits of Aunt Flo may vary drastically!
c. make sure that you have an abundance of jokes that will not fall flat
d. make sure that your equipment is working good before you try indulge in make up whoopee!
(vitamins for the prostate help wonderfully without having to worry about 4 hour erections)

Crowmac says I have a voice. I need to find out when I’m using that voice. And emulate it more.  If you’re reading that this stream maybe...