Thursday, April 28, 2005

I thought that I'd include Bush's speech according to the Hereinreality tagboard!

c: I never thought that this idiot would have a chance but that Is why this country has to be so careful that it wont happen is scary how they are taking over the countryc: he contined to say progress about 20 times!@
c: he will probably try to give some excuse to invade Korea before the next election so his brother will continue while we always stay at war
c: that is so true about how Karl must have realized how the antiintellectual would win the votes of most americans!
LOL: This president, becaue he keeps the public dialogue on such an abysmally low level, and defends that with his smug anti-intellectual attitude, has done more to polarize America than other president since Nixon.
LOL: Pathetic, this president is a disgrace: inarticulate and unable to think AND,m worst of all, a little bully
*beep*: i despise republicans. they are actually fun to laugh at, because the only reason they believe what they do is because they can't think for themselves. you see republicans are mentally retarded *beep* who believe all of the *beep* about traditon and morality, which they never actually stop to realise isn't legislated anyway and just happened to crop up. it could by all means have been pulled out of some joker's ass who fancied a laugh.
c: Im sure that even the repukes that visit this site speak and write better than him...How did he get through Yale ...there is only so much a very rich powerful father can do??
c: we have become can any body be happy that they voted for someone that is so stupid wonder he has had only 4 press conferences!
c: Karl and the whole tribe have a wonderful into turning this country into haters
c: It is amazing that only in this country can some incompetent fool become president!
Stammer On: Darth = drug addict who feesd on this kind of stupidty and anger
Stammer On: I like to keep the intellecutal level and the level of dialogue so low that the two sides can't do anything BUt yell at each other , and that will be the legacy of my preesidency: i kept Americans frightened and angry and polarized. I will go down in history as the Stupid Polarizing President who brought the tExas bar/brothel mentality to WAshington DC.
c: its sad how the people love how stupid poor george is
JealousAssclownLibs: Whitehouse:Republican, Senate:Republican, House:Republican, Dependocrats have nothing=Priceless!
Stammer On: I like to keep the intellecutal level and the level of dialogue so low tht the two sides can't do anything BUt yell at each other , and that will be the legacy of my preesidency: i kept Americans firghtened and angry and polarized. I will go donw in history as the Stupid President.
c: no child left behind only puts a strain on the schools and they are not funding it because of the war. That is why the states are protesting.
Stammer On: Tiem to get smug and arrogant, these *beep* Northeastern egg heads are starting to ask quesitons I can't even understand. Uhhh... right .. time for a folksy joke, God it's hot in here ... uh...
Jealous Assclown: Liberals:
Stammer On: We're teaching the kids the reading and the adding and subtracting
Bush: hey i got to finish before 8 cuz i was tired from workin hard and makin progress!
Bush: we spend lots of money in raq but none for monkeys left behind..absolutely ...I dont about my unwinding...U better like it when they can do better in mulitple choic...i graduated from high school and yale and I was still illiterate...lets change our attitude...even a child brain like me can learn how to do math...preciate my deficienies and its working...Ok...I was so great!
Bush: measurement is showing progress...i can even spell that word...state will be able to do math and read and write better than me ,Richard
Bush: preciate that john...small bidness pay more for gas and that makes people spend more money..higher gas is like a tax on everthing in american it effects the economy...I learned that in college economics...asssbestos reform...positive noises likes farts from capitol hil...I m a strong believer in geopoliitcs...reduce regulation...atax system will be more optimistic but im not an economist...lets see richard
Bush: u bet...we will uuhh detain them if they hurt us...we still at war...uuuh...we will be relaxed,,we cant be relaxed...look mark how constipated i am
Bush: he ...hypothetical...hehe..I learned that word in my frat..heheBush: i preciate that question fletch...russian and everyone works together...we can do this diplomatically...kuim jung ill need to not be nucular...we will work with all my issues...we will work hard with chinese and my addminisitration ...uh mark
Bush: we work hard ...class action assholes need to quit,,,house got energy...we are working hard...we will get them resolved...we are making question ..we hadnt learned anything in 20 years..hehe...serious bidness if there is anyone worse than me for your grandchildren...iii pledge to stay on this issue
Bush: bolton is not delay!
Bush: I like steaks and 2021...i will still eat steak and continue to eat them until i have a stroke and im in a home
Bush: im proud of my party ..we got ideas to fix things
Bush: im sure people dont like me but im dissapointed that they dont like me and so they wont cooperate with me
Bush: rumsfeld is precisely the reason you brought up..uh ed yeh
Stammer On: Now it's time to start insulting reporters, especaillyt he ones who don't look like us hearty tExans.
Bush: nucular is dangerous ...china has influenc...jang ji me...i said these names so well...chines came to my ranch ...they are kind a cute like my prince...we can do this diplomatically
Bush: kim jung ill is dangerous person like saddam...lets a start a war to get rid of this tyrant and be diplomatic
Bush: .we are making good progress...we are stepping up to working hard the answer is mentioned korena peninsula...let me talk about north korea..i studies this one!
Bush: turdly fundamenatalist problem is portray is please with the progreesss..we a re working hard...mymessage is to keep stable..we are making good progress...we are stepping up to working hard
The Flying Monkey: Nope. But the puppet masters left over from Bush 41 got what they wanted. Someone smart enough to read a teleprompter (Barely) and dumb enough to do exactly what they wanted.
Bush: aamzing iddnt it?
g: i am so embarasssed to be american when this idiot is trying to explain math
Stammering Monkey: Have you ever seen a stupider president in all your life??
Bush: you will get one percent in bonds or you can flex your self and then there wont be any money for a lot of workers
Bush: i believe in Jesus and encoourange my mix..all for wall street...and they have affairs...
Bush: return gets on my ass..and a person acan build a nest egg with feathers from my as you go...
Bush: gudenough for congress is good enough for me
The Flying Monkey: George Bush coudn't find oil in the pimples on his ass.
Bush: investor class i got and lumber
Bush: we got debt because clinton started this war
Bush: iiii u hh ffeeel myself strongly about social securtiy
Bush: iiii u hh ffeeel myself strongly about social securtiyStammering Monkey: I talk to Vladmir all the time, so much that I call him Vladdy now
Bush: are u stretch..he he
Bush: wee need reform in my intelligence..very important to have intelligence with france play9ing roles in syria and uuuh lebanon...hes impressive and will work hard
Stammering Monkey: He's a well seasonsed diplomat, a little salt and little pepper a little Old Bay sauce.
The Flying Monkey: ...a harrasing ass hole?
The Flying Monkey: ...a harrasing *beep*?
Bush: scuse me
Stammering Monkey: Embarassing! You see the UN is this building in new York, and they need reform, and so it seems to me if you want to get that, you need somebody who is blunt, and ...
Bush: is important and my twins neeed to be reformed
The Flying Monkey: You sure you didn't smoke a little "blunt?"
Bush: u n needs reform by being skilled and now how to speak
Bush: i am a littl blunt...but laura said I was soft
Call Boy: Has anyone asked him about Jeff Gannon?
Bush: he seasons his diplomat and hes before 6
Bush: were makin progress ...john bolton handles his pecker very well
Nucular: If he says nucular one more time I'm going to be smashed!
The Flying Monkey: Hey.
Bush: pootin recognizes me when he looks deep in my eyes
Nucular: and another
Nucular: another
Bush: merit of mocracy...were workin closely mouning vehicles when our wives are aoround nucular plants
Stammering Monkey: Yeah, I done had a long talk with Vladmiir there in that thar Slovakia, and we talked about democracy, yes we did, and he said he'd ship nuclar weapons pretty much any where he want,s he did.
Bush: I talke with vlad about mocracy
<-- Back Bush: I saw his soul when I looked into his eyes...he was almost as cute as my prince hheeheBush: let me finish Bush: trroops and assets spread freedom and mocracry..were makin progress were relentless Bush: we will off their testicels...we make progress slowly but surely terry! Bush: welll...we feed the terrroist with broads...were relentless and like steaks Bush: hopefully i will have the capacity to be a consumer when i retire Bush: im im terminally mentally ill and we have coal so i wont need depends Stammering Monkey: LOL! Where are the words? Where are the ideas? Where am I? Bush: i have a lot of gas reserves up my ass Bush: im a conserfvor of energy...i go to sleep at 8 Stammering Monkey: Where are my notes? Where is my speech? LFOL! Has there EVER been a more inarticulate president than me? LOFLO! Bush: l ate lunch and had gasoline Bush: John i said i have add..i courage more crude people on the market...main factor is bein crude in theoil Stammering Monkey: LOL! I can't speak English! LFOL! Bush: i can onlyu play with view of religion is personall...i am an idiot and im patriotic for worshipping..thas the wonderful of being in amerrrica Bush: faith pays a part of me becoming prsidnet Bush: my her life Bush: i deserve being up and down with laura Bush: um they dont like me or my view of a proper judge Bush: tirany to democracy is good Bush: curageous people in rak Bush: merica makes commitment to tranistion for when im im0peached for stupidity and uhh Bush: great conversation with uhhh Bush: region of world dmocrcy takes hold of my monkey Dubya: My gay call-boy visited me at the White House on three dozen occasions when there were no press conferences. Bush: process of isoltin terristsBush: raki military work hard Bush: they they want tyranyy and darth vader Stammering Monkey: We're really just starting. Huh? Yu been at this four five years you idiot! Bush: social security will work message is do our duty and go to bed Stammering Monkey: Where am I and how did I get here? LFOL! Bush: monkey chasing my tail Bush: i will sit down and fall asleep with both parteys..i am optim istic? Bush: we have a problem because I dont know what im doing...were making progress All Hail!: The Stammering Monkey is looking mighty old, mighty fast! Bush: I am frustrated cuz i wanna go to bed so i can do some hard work Bush: repuklican and democrats will do what is rite Bush: I will save my nest egg for laura and g's twins All Hail!: The Stammering Monkey! Bush: I look tired...Ive been workin hard... Bush: i have real assssets Bush: i am looking really old...this math is gettin to me Bush: a matter of ferrrness Bush: he obviously didnt rehearse his script g: the math has monkey left behind...Im an add baby boomer g: Ive trravelled the country to talk to the people..what a liar!,,,, g: he is is reallyhaving difficulty saying some of these words...pri or ity g: he need s to be a conservor of energy, shutup and resign g: He always looks bowlegged when he walks an idiot! g: Ill have a smoke everytime he says nucular

Sunday 24 minutes to say a few things now that Im able to finally connect. I have no idea whether there are 10 readers or a thousand. Maybe I need the instant gratification knowing that some of it will be erased.I Part of me is so frustrated at my own motivationally disinclined periods. Yes, it is sometimes so hard getting out of my house each day unless there is something that I cant wait to do.

I think about the genetic reason for ADD. I wonder about famous inventors, artists , explorers with this "affliction". Edison was able to overcome his own deep thought that was going on in his brain where he was able to to sucessfully convey his multitude of ideas for things into amazing inventions way ahead of his time. Einstein was the same deep in thought while doing poorly in school. He had the beginning of the universe and the speed of light all explained to himself before exposing them to the astounded public.

Ok so where am I going with all of this? I see the synchronicity of all the interesting people wether conservative or openiminded, they seem to be coming into my life for a reason. Why did Buffy come?

Now it's 11 pm ...still in limbo with no real plan..Tomorrow, I will go to Edmond for the interview and I need to fill out the other local school district aplication to fall back on . I am afraid to say the places for fear of Bubanon/annette will call the schools.

It us so easy to feel overwhelmed with just the tediousness of filling out all the information on the application. I almost need a secretary/slash/coach/agent to check out all the possibilities of places to work. The fear of not taking care of the little stuff overwhelms me.

Last night while speaking with the gods in her van outside of Galileo's, this nice young (31) waitress was telling me of her own ADD and the difficulties in her own life from school to relationships. I understand that people like us that have this disability to focus hampers them until they set up a systematic discipline for themselves to take control of their lives.

I often think of my mothers younger brother, Uncle Ron, who from what my mother told me about him being just an average student that started just following steps. The Dale Carnegie book made a big influence on him. He took an interest in me to help me I think because maybe he saw himself in me when he was young. He started writing down the things that he needed to do the next day. he would accomplish those things and helped him groom himself to become the manager of his father's meet factories.

I see so often how there is little time left to become that self actualized person that would make your mother and father proud. I am asking the universal energies to give me the strength to pursue these dreams and to take the steps to reach that position.
The first thing to do tomorrow is put on that suit with the intent of looking the best possible for that interview. I might even stop at Border's for an hour to look at job interviewing techniques just so I will look even better than the inexperienced candidates that are lookikng for the same spot. I will have the attitude that they need to sell me on the job.
I miss my counter. I was eager to change the template of the blog from the less hostile red to a softer blue since I am tired of angry people.

I am actually realizing that I am kind of feeling depressed. I try to understand my feelings.

Since coming back, I've been motivationally disinclined to write. Monday, I was lazy going on the hereinreality blog where I was very motivated to insult Republican so called Christians. I even went to poetry but I wasnt very excited or psyched to get up and read.

Buffy is lethargic probably from getting a bite on the nose. I am not feeling very witty especially now that the exitement of being a free available man is gone and I almost miss the comfort of knowing that my best friend is by the phone.
I want to be honest with her and myself.

Ok, I have a little buzz and somtimes I notice how it accentuates the melancholia. The weather is colder and the moon has passed its peak. All of these things affect your libido.

I have all these thoughts on my future, finding a soulmate somewhere out there, or wondering if Muffy will start missing me again and I wonder if I can tolerate the nagging.

So I dressed up and went to the Edmond Job fair this morning late and not too enthusiatic even though they need a lot of special ed teacher. I waited for an hour to not even have an official interview. There were about 30 females to every male but even that didnt excite me.

uh oh bush, our fuhrer is about to talk about social security and stammer through questions. How many times will he say nucular? any readers left out there, I will write some more tonight...

Monday: Muffy might be proud but she will be her usually grumpy self. I went on an interview for special ed interviewed by 3 nice ladies. I felt that I had the right mindset and was honest about my ADD and told that that was my strength and good rapport with the parents. The principal said that the staff have good rapport. I am just so much more excited about going to New Mexico but there is a schwagfest this weekend in Missouri. Decisions are always the hardest for me. It is hard work but I am makin progress....Who does that sound like? It is amazing that someone with as much ADD as me can become president without ever learning to speak or write! wow

I am happy that I am productive and have the nerve to file taxes but they dont have the information yet about how much I made last year (not much) I should get a significant check back! Of course no good deed goes unpunished getting a Parking ticket for an expired ticket (Feb.)..only tow months! I will have to get it renewed and if I catch the parking officer within 10 days, I won't have to pay 50$. what a hassle!

Friday, April 22, 2005

In and out of a state of Limbaugh?? And Happy Mother's Day, Muffy!

The wind is coming in strong and cold from the north so it would be easy to put up the sail and breeze back to Jesusland and ever expanding posteriors...where men are men and bar seats are afraid!

It is wonderful to make up. Muffy gets mad (totally volcanic) when I say that women become angry when they are not fed soon enough, Aunt Flo might show up or they haven't had a good stupping in a while.

I decided to avoid the confrontation last night and only wrote my own thoughts on why we are in a relationship when we are both such opposites??? She was nice this AM and I wanted to chauffeur Ms. Daisy to Longview and downtown to pick up checks. Everything was ok until Muffy said I could go to the plaza to look at eye candy but I wanted to treat her to a buffet somewhere in Westport. She started shaking her head and insisted on putting down the visor.
She didn't believe that it was blocking my field of vision for cars in the right lane.

The volcano erupted and I decided to walk Buffy rather than giving her the option of "tormenting" me all the way back the way woman can so effectively make you feel like shit...
I decided it would be safer to walk Buffy again so she wanted to slam the door almost knocking it off the hinges...I told her not to do that so she said,

"Don't you tell me to slam the door!"

as she tried to slam it again and I put my hand out so she would not have the satisfaction of seeing the passenger door fall off! She could not find a taxi for less than $50, so Buffy and I convinced her to come back. She sat in the back seat hiding behind my wardrobe of clothes hanging including my favorite suit that I never got around to wearing. I was going to drop of resumes in the caucasian flight stepburbs.

After the car ride she asked to let Buffy out to play and then when I shared my last few bowl of stuff with her. We both had a good cry and then ahhhh....shy rockets in flight....and we were both in love again! :)

Now I only have 20 minutes to tell you the moral of this tale....
a: make sure that a woman has plenty of healty food that she likes (that's the tough part) with you in easy reach or temptation for her before she gets to the fatal point of no return
(the radio comes on stating that folks that go into rages show sign of mental illness or manic depression and Muffy at least laughed at such an appropo time...It couldnt have said that at a more appropriate time!)
b. avoid her several days before the period as the distance between the visits of Aunt Flo may vary drastically!
c. make sure that you have an abundance of jokes that will not fall flat
d. make sure that your equipment is working good before you try indulge in make up whoopee!
(vitamins for the prostate help wonderfully without having to worry about 4 hour erections)

I kinda miss my tagboard so I copied some material from another board!

My good friend has a plug for my site on her site. I wished that Muffy and I could have visited them today..oh well...I love " "...There are some real characters that sound the same as the blokes that harrassed my site....
I guess they are too afraid to register...Muffy is mad that I don't let these perverts write their necrophilia on my site...I will probably take this off in a little bit if it upsets the church lady too much
You have to understand that the tagboard reads backwards..I will include a few of the other statements left on the site....It caused me to be motivationally inclined to write ...i guess that there is a full moon coming up and if I don't speak up then I should just forget about her..(that's another post)

Mr. G: does our great pres use spermface in his vocabulary when hes trying to talk dirty to his good christian wife, Laura?
Mr. G: when she falls into narcolepsy on the computer her fat ass is attached to?
Mr. G: she ought to get a laptop so she can keep up with this tagboard or hire a monkey to print her verses on the board??
Mr. G: maybe she suffers from constipation and irritable bowel syndrome??
Mr. G: or is it diareah when she keeps repeating her verses like she's really a christian..
Mr. G: waht happened to Julie Constipated?
Mr. G: Ohannity looks like he will be as fat as Rush when he grows up...right now he looks like an adolescent at a roman catholic prep school
Mr. G: Oreilly looks like he was fired from the IRA for trying to blow up a bus and was sent to emergency for smoke inhalation!
Mr. G: Orelly looks like he suffered too much when he was tied up by anne coulter!
Mr. G: Bush did too much coke and it shows when his veins pop when he laughs
Mr. G: have you seen how sickly Bush and his wife looks lately from a fat midwestern diet and too many addictive pain pills
Mr. G: have you seen how sickly Rush looks lately from a fat midwestern diet and too many addictive pain pills
Mr. G: I have a theory that the democrats will take over after the fat ass repukes die of strokes and cirhosis of the liver!
g: like Mr. Bush after we finally fire his ass after Delays!
g: i like that Mr. G
g: thanks for agreeing monk!
g: any peaceful people left on this tagboard?
g: wassup?
The Flying Monkey: Drinking that cheap vodka or is it the cheap gin?
The Flying Monkey: How is your buzz. Good? Got a nice snootfull?
The Flying Monkey: is Crap.
The Flying Monkey: Typo. Your spelling is still crap.
The Flying Monkey: Touche'.
The Phuck You 2: Do you have a new spelling for wisdom?
The Phuck You 2: I'm a sharp as a tac!
More --> There are hundreds of these pages....

Phuck g sideways: You ( g ) are an asshead spermface.
The Flying Monkey: Hmmmmm.
The Flying Monkey: I'm sure you don't. What part of that am I not supposed to like?
iRuLe: I dont like you
The Flying Monkey: Finds your racist humor sophmoric at best.
g: as long as there are folks with low intelligence there will be idiots like Rush and Ann Coulter
g: why do racist redneck so called Christians like to visit this site?
g: How is everybody?
the COON man: Where is the (tough guy web police,maggott)smafty.?
the COON man: is here and is DOWN with drilling in the anwar.The COON man gives his approval.The COON needs to fill his diesel S.U.V. for less than a $100 bucks.
hellow drilling in: the ANWAR,what a great move by our awsome president.I thought all the right's power did not matter,ummm, lol lol lol lol
FACT IS : The liberals on this site are unemployed
Fact: The leader of the Neocon Noisemakers on here is a drug addict. Need we say more?
the COON man: oh SMAFTY,you little butt-buger where are you.Ohi see under WILSONS desk,good job for a liberal.
The Internets: I'm sorry, misspelled my name.
The Internet: Hey, he is powerful, he invented my ass.
The UN: just imaging the power we would have today if Al gore actually stole the election from George Bush!
Tony Blair: In the end, good always comes out on top.
Canada: We did too.
France: We supported that dishonesty.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Second cup of Joe leads to this late night writing!

Ok, so maybe I shouldnt have had that 2nd cup of the large coffee...:(
Now I have the energy but I've been prograss tinating on the last little bit of schwag
I've been watching the Renaissance fair from my camcorder and my life the past couple of months since our last trip in the beginning of March???...time flies by so fast so we have to realize how we can fit more adventures on this ever dwindling tape of life

I was realizing how others could see my life filmed on video from Alene to the other very fleeting relationships
I see the results of how I
ve developed a wry sardonic very dry sense of humor that many don't appreciate how biting and under the skin the sarcasm can be....
rather than get angry it is much easier to make a joke about what was traumatic...
ie...the slamming of the door after being orally spiphlicated with threats of bodily injury...going downstairs to take Buffy in my arms and be consoled while flipping through the boring channels of her cable TV....

Alot has happened since I talked to you last...Muffy wanted to see the family cemetary from over a century ago of her ancestors...they owned about 80 (?) acres and had a little cemetary of several graves taking up about 1000 square feet...It was well manicured but originally had been overgrown for a long time... I've been here a fortnight. I went to the "beautiful day" shop at about 39th and Broadway near Westport. To celebrate 420 day they had a band playing on the sidewalk in front of the store.

There were about 100 folks listening to the cool music while Buffy and I danced and flirted with other schwaggers...It was a cool experience...Buffy got a little excited and I was afraid that I hurt her when I tripped on her, but 2 sweet ladies came over to comfort her ...
I was afraid that I would have to drive back to OKC to take her to my vet....she was just a little hurt and her large paw and leg was ok...Boy, I love her so much!

Saturday 12:30 AM.

Should I get upset at myself that I put myself in these situations...I let her plan the evening...everthing is fun...the bread is delicious a
"How can you say you are a good cook from just baking bread?"
she snarls
"I would love to cook for you"
"YOu'll tear up the kitchen!"

We come back from Inga's and I want her to greet Buffy, so I ask her to per Buffy outside so she won't piss.
She doesn't understand me.
So I ask her again and she screams at me...

I put up a stand and tell her not to tell me shutup thinking how she said she started disrespecting me when I lost a job.

She tells ve for the second time that she want me out of here in the morning! And snarls up her face wishing me to have the same pain as her own physical suffering.

There is no point in arguing with her or dare challenge the pecking order of an alpha female.

So a beautiful evening, feeling good about everything was ruined. I was actually taking Buffy out for a walk earlier and thinking crazy thoughts of actually finding a sweet woman that would actually be fun to be around and grow old with bringing up a child. Older parents make better parents.

I try one more time to end the evening with mutual love in our hearts. I'll stay at the Bates motel tonight.
What happens to the mother happens to the daughter or the same kind of attitude is mirrored back to her in her daughter. So much anger and hatred. Why do I let myself get involved in these very challenging situations?

My own low self esteem after Alene passing away and heartbreaking relationships since then in search of a "perfect woman"...thinking I had found her when she was just wanting something from me rather than really caring about me....not realizing that I had the unconditional love of my mother and Alene. I took it for granted and that has often made me sad and depressed.

I only have a little bit of stuff left and I'm trying to make it last. I was wanting to share it with her but she wouldn't appreciate it. I need someone to talk to and I feel that eventually you will be out there. I am trying to live in the now and make the best of a situation that does not seem to have any future. There is too much anger and stress for me to take on and she feels the same way about me being a project.

I talked to one of the directors of the school district in New Mexico. It gave me a feeling of rebirth. I feel that I can flourish with Buffy, my camcorder and a new lap top that I will invest in.

I need to understand that KC is just another stop in this short journey or orbit of life. I sense now that it is about time for the electron to move into another orbit. My own theory is that one has to get into the excited state out of the comfort zone before moving to the next level of Maslow's heirarchy of self actualization.

Her eyes roll and she turns the page.

Sometimes writing helps put you in perspective. Now should I try to make up and realize we should have done it earlier. No chance for snuggling tonight . We'll see.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

More terrorism since Bush came into office so let's eliminate the report!

Posted on Fri, Apr. 15, 2005

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.
Bush administration eliminating 19-year-old international terrorism report

By Jonathan S. Landay

Knight Ridder Newspapers

WASHINGTON - The State Department decided to stop publishing an annual report on international terrorism after the government's top terrorism center concluded that there were more terrorist attacks in 2004 than in any year since 1985, the first year the publication covered.

Several U.S. officials defended the abrupt decision, saying the methodology the National Counterterrorism Center used to generate statistics for the report may have been faulty, such as the inclusion of incidents that may not have been terrorism.

Last year, the number of incidents in 2003 was undercounted, forcing a revision of the report, "Patterns of Global Terrorism."

But other current and former officials charged that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's office ordered "Patterns of Global Terrorism" eliminated several weeks ago because the 2004 statistics raised disturbing questions about the Bush's administration's frequent claims of progress in the war against terrorism.

"Instead of dealing with the facts and dealing with them in an intelligent fashion, they try to hide their facts from the American public," charged Larry C. Johnson, a former CIA analyst and State Department terrorism expert who first disclosed the decision to eliminate the report in The Counterterrorism Blog, an online journal.

Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., who was among the leading critics of last year's mix-up, reacted angrily to the decision.

"This is the definitive report on the incidence of terrorism around the world. It should be unthinkable that there would be an effort to withhold it - or any of the key data - from the public. The Bush administration should stop playing politics with this critical report."

A senior State Department official, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the issue, confirmed that the publication was being eliminated, but said the allegation that it was being done for political reasons was "categorically untrue."

According to Johnson and U.S. intelligence officials familiar with the issue, statistics that the National Counterterrorism Center provided to the State Department reported 625 "significant" terrorist attacks in 2004.

That compared with 175 such incidents in 2003, the highest number in two decades.

The statistics didn't include attacks on American troops in Iraq, which President Bush as recently as Tuesday called "a central front in the war on terror."

The intelligence officials requested anonymity because the information is classified and because, they said, they feared White House retribution. Johnson declined to say how he obtained the figures.

{It is amazing how fear from the administration is used so effectively by our minister of propaganda, Herr Rove! He is swift and effective with retribution ... putting the "fear of God" into the people in the good old days of Robber Barons and their peasants...}

Another U.S. official, who also requested anonymity, said analysts from the counterterrorism center were especially careful in amassing and reviewing the data because of the political turmoil created by last year's errors.

Last June, the administration was forced to issue a revised version of the report for 2003 that showed a higher number of significant terrorist attacks and more than twice the number of fatalities than had been presented in the original report two months earlier.

The snafu was embarrassing for the White House, which had used the original version to bolster President Bush's election-campaign claim that the war in Iraq had advanced the fight against terrorism.

U.S. officials blamed last year's mix-up on bureaucratic mistakes involving the Terrorist Threat Integration Center, the forerunner of the National Counterterrorism Center.

Created last year on the recommendation of the independent commission that investigated the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, the center is the government's primary organization for analyzing and integrating all U.S. government intelligence on terrorism.

The State Department published "Patterns of Global Terrorism" under a law that requires it to submit to the House of Representatives and the Senate Foreign Relations Committee a country-by-country terrorism assessment by April 30 each year.

A declassified version of the report has been made public since 1986 in the form of a glossy booklet, even though there was no legal requirement to produce one.

The senior State Department official said a report on global terrorism would be sent this year to lawmakers and made available to the public in place of "Patterns of Global Terrorism," but that it wouldn't contain statistical data.

He said that decision was taken because the State Department believed that the National Counterterrorism Center "is now the authoritative government agency for the analysis of global terrorism. We believe that the NCTC should compile and publish the relevant data on that subject."

He didn't answer questions about whether the data would be made available to the public, saying, "We will be consulting (with Congress) ... on who should publish and in what form."

Another U.S. official said Rice's office was leery of the methodology the National Counterterrorism Center used to generate the data for 2004, believing that analysts anxious to avoid a repetition of last year's undercount included incidents that may not have been terrorist attacks.

But the U.S. intelligence officials said Rice's office decided to eliminate "Patterns of Global Terrorism" when the counterterrorism center declined to use alternative methodology that would have reported fewer significant attacks.

The officials said they interpreted Rice's action as an attempt to avoid releasing statistics that would contradict the administration's claims that it's winning the war against terrorism.

To read past "Patterns of Global Terrorism" reports online, go to

More lies to be covered up by our administration...

Monday, April 11, 2005

What if the evil in humans were to take a week or so off??

I was thinking about that thought where everyone just decided to not hate for a week?? Or at least pretend that they don't hate...We are all together in some schwagatopic community walking everywhere and smiling...letting our dogs sniff each other...we pass the peace pipe...

That would never happen but there can be utopic places that have this...I would like to go there sometime with my writing...

I'm having a relaxing (sort of) time with Muffy before she goes to work on Friday...

Muffy smiles at him
"you would be great in Atlantis!... but I thought you were out getting us some lettuce??"

to be continued

by the man who was from that utopia in another life a long long time ago....

Tuesday :( limbo and boredom cocktail(?)

I'm sitting at the Cass County Library while in this funky point of limbo....the normal indecision of where to drive 2.20 a gallon,it costs more and more to meander costs far more in life when when you don't make the plans...

oy vey...
a blown gasket over hot chocolate that I couldn't find and I knew that it would be a mistake to ask her if she saw it, especially when she didn't sleep well...oy vey!

Most of the time she gets really angry if it's because of my ADD and forgetting where I put something...
"What a qvetch" (Garvald Yiddish) she says.

Speak for herself!...Last night after enjoying the herb, some magnificent whoopee and sitting out watching the storm brewing... She asked me where her car was, when it was directly behind her in the garage!

I couldn't stop laughing even now about was almost as bad as me leaving my shoes at the rest stop so that I could run in the grass with Buffy..I was concerned about giving her the exercise to get her bowels moving..It is dangerous for me to do something critical while thinking about something else...I realized that my most comfortable shoes were gone when I arrived at Muffy's about 180 miles later! :(

I am really tired today, even with a little adderall...I'm not even in the mood to write...I almost want to vegetate or observe others while just cannabizing over what plans that I might make for the near future...the distant future is too overwhelming to take in... I almost want to take a nap or at least converse with other schwaggers over my coffee and "cheap" (according to Muffster) Hot Chocholate over a warm fireplace..Yea what's wrong with getting 2 boxes of 10 packets for only a buck! My mocha/coffee and filtered water is more delicious than Starbucks and it's for less than 10 centavos! Then I have the one hitter and I have a very cheap buzz from caffeine, sugar and stuff! Sometimes that combo puts me in a very good mood to write some more and even leave a message for New Mexico to make a purpose and plan for my road trip..I can even write it off on taxes...but I won't be earning much this year...(even less than last year) Maybe I'll get 2 big refund checks to spend on more travelling or on my deteriating roof??

Muffy couldn't sleep well and I snore when I sleep on my back...even though there was great whoopee recently, it was time to give the Muffster her space before the blown gasket destroys the engine...

a couple hours later....
So it's almost 420 and I'm torn between writing and narcolepting in front of the last few minutes of Crossfire, while Muffy gets a deli sandwich!...lata mates...or chess tonight??

This is from the recent horoscope of Bob. B:
English poet William Wordsworth said that "Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings." By that definition, Sagittarius, you'll be a fount of poetry this week. For best results, though, don't immediately translate those spontaneous feelings into action. Let them have their way with you for a while before you decide what they all mean. It's one of those frothy, dazzling times when you have no more important task than to honor your emotional riches with your reverent, patient attention.
still a steady 30 or 40 clicks a day...Im glad that some are still reading..
Wednesday 12:56
Really positive day...Feel that there are so many fun things to do and accomplish!
I think that the main thing is learning to enjoy life...enjoying such a spring morning with the unconditional love of Buffy...
as the above horoscope explains to let my spontaneous feelings be expressed in poetry...document these feeling...
it's nice when your lovemate accentuates your feelings...she is exhibiting the same mannerisms and thought processes...your world is becoming part of hers as you meld into hers...
Of course I have a little buzz mixed in the rejuvenating freshness of spring...
Muffy is working so industriously on the garden in the back of her duplex while Buffy plays with all of her clumps of dirt....Muffy has a 20 foot amount of rope shortened so as we can see her but she won't get into mischief...

It's almost like our own little family...the negative vibes from the daughter are gone for a few days while she stays with her stepdad...

In my past relationships I have only brought myself into a new family with daughters and mothers to coexist or cohabitate...Now I am bringing my own "daughter", Buffy....
We are looked at as a team (Team Garvald(?) instead of just an individual...Now, Muffy, has developed her own maternal feelings for our "child" often overly worried that the leash might choke her( but so what if I'm kicked in the groin)...She loves my new impulsive addition...It is so much safer to fall in love with a gorgeous blonde canine rather than past hurtful relationships...

Sometimes, I realize that I want to write on but I feel like I am wasting the time that I could be outside working with Muffy while Buffy watches :)
lata mates !
for the next week(?)
"I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love," said Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. While that observation always applies to you, Sagittarius, it's especially true now. More than at any other time in the past 11 months, you require a flood of profuse, no-strings-attached love. I urge you to go out and do whatever's necessary to get it. By the way, you would also derive stupendous benefits from doling out lavish amounts of unconditional love. Your top priority, therefore, should be to both receive and give over-the-top generosity.

Ok, so I dole out lavish amounts of unconditional love to Muffy and strings attached other than looking forward to my financial investment in Buffy's vegetable garden? do I look for love from soccer mom's while they adore my Buffy..
already I have given so much to her and I get bruises and cuts from leaning over to give her a bowl of cool water and then the branch from the tree cuts into another spot in my upper hemisphere filled with scars when I get up too think that I would learn from all those bumps from not looking out for my upper head!

should I feel guilty about being lazy from just not grabbing today or manana?.."carpe Manana" was a quote from the very cool administrator who sold me on New Mexico!

It is easy now to give out little generosities to Muffy and Buffy...who else will recieve them today or tomorrow?

for those 20 or 30 readers (?) everyday, you must be used to this free flow of concious thought or not...please let me know without mentioning folks that have long sinced passed away??...can evil take a week or so off??...the internet predator has realized (?) the futility of leaving comments that will only be erased...maybe it needs some time off too?

Muffy says hi to Henry Hudstein! THURSDAY..3/14 9995 HITS!

We will celebrate our 10,000 hits at the Longview camping grounds with Buffy and some imported brewskis! It has been nice to know the internet predator took some time off....He is still creative with names...
He must be one of the 20 or so regular hitters on this site...

Well, we'll toast to all of our readers including Martin and his versatile fingers

We bought a breadmaker and cool fan that creates a water mist!
lata mates!

Friday, 4/15 5:25
I am surfing this wave...feeling the energy of slummin with my best friends, Muffy and family....watching the loons fly overhead both from the left and from the right...stabilized on this wave as co surfers....where do we flow together??...
learning to cope with the forces of life...
flowing with the music
dancing and surfing each moment
feeling the curl
in the zone
to treat them as we would obstacles in nature..
civilization puts us into the confines of what we should be doing as advanced creatures of hominids...
we are told what is the correct belief...
maybe we can surf to that higher level of really truly tuning into the flow of the universe?
eventually learning or forgetting that happiness
is all in the now...
touching the curl of the wave

We had a fantastic time overlooking Longview Lake...Buffy frolicking after the yellow tennis ball or chasing after geese in the abundant lawns on the campground...
the steak was so juicy cooking it on our fire
the fresh tomato, from our garage hunting and gathering earlier in the sweet tasty day in a desperate housewives' neighborhood in the stepfords of KC, was orgasmically juiced and sauteed

and the ever scrumptous taste of the chocholates melting in our mouths...
both of us taking in the senses of the evening all synchronistically..

mmmm....i'm feeling the juices of spring lubricate my loins!

skyrockets in flight.....after the news delight....
I could go into it but there's the IP (internet predator) who might get off on it....

Saturday 10:30

another gorgeous day....Went with Muffy and her friends to Matsu (?), a Japanese restaurant last night...spent almost $60 on our Salmon dinner with Saki...usually the service is better but the tempura was good

We had dessert at the Cheescake Factory in the Plaza...It was a beautiful evening!

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Another example of the systematic destroying of this once beautiful country!

Dear Sierra Club Friend,

I am saddened to report that the Timber Industry and the U.S. Forest Service have renewed their attack on the Giant Sequoia National Monument. This most recent threat to one of our greatest national treasures is both serious and imminent.

Nearly half the remaining Giant Sequoia groves left in the world are found in a single vulnerable wild region of California's Sierra Nevada range. President Clinton proclaimed this area a National Monument in 2000, but now, under unrelenting industry pressure, the Forest Service may render this 5 year-old conservation victory meaningless.

The latest industry-driven "forest management" plan (or should we say "forest destruction" plan) proposed by the Forest Service will destroy this natural heritage forever by:

Opening the Giant Sequoia National Monument to commercial logging around and even in the Giant Sequoia groves;

Allowing bulldozers and other heavy logging equipment within the Monument's fragile habitat; and

Filling up to 3,000 commercial logging trucks with timber from the National Monument every year -- that's almost a truck every three hours!

I urge you to do the following two things right away:

Voice your outrage over the Forest Service's industry-driven plan that jeopardizes the precious Monument, and insist that its management be transferred to the National Park Service. Sign the petition on our Web site today.

Take this important opportunity to become a Sierra Club Member. Today, you can join the Sierra Club at our special introductory rate of just $25 and receive a free Sierra Club Expedition Pack.

These two actions will make a critical difference to the Sierra Club and its efforts to keep the chainsaws out of the Giant Sequoia National Monument.

Concerned citizens like you and me cannot sit back while industry lobbyists with huge war chests deprive our children of these magnificent natural icons.

As our nation's oldest and largest environmental organization, the Sierra Club has a proud history of protecting America's imperiled wilderness areas. But now, one of our most important and hard-won conservation victories is at risk -- the Sierra Club is committed to preventing this from happening, but we need the help of concerned citizens like you to be successful.

As a Sierra Club Member, you will receive our exclusive benefits package -- including a subscription to Sierra magazine, membership in your local Sierra Club Chapter, access to a wide range of wilderness trips and outings and discounts on Sierra Club publications and calendars.

Become an integral part of America's most effective advocate for our environment, the Sierra Club.


Carl Pope
Executive Director
Sierra Club

P.S. We care about your privacy and data security. Our online membership process is secure and convenient.

Photos: Courtesy CA Department of Fish and Game; Courtesy National Park Service; Courtesy Fish and Wildlife Service;

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Great Day at the job fair!

It is so nice to know that everyone still wants a male special ed teacher. I now have many choices of where and who to work for! I can go to Georgia, Houston, all over Texas and even work close to my home (still in the okie zone). Won't the Bubbas and Bubbannettes with enlarging livers love that? How do you feel, Randy Necroperv?

Bully Bob/Randy Necroperv or whatever creative name Martin can think of,
You have actually served as the conflict for my novel! I could put your face in many cartoon characters such as a gay blade in tights on a horse, thumping on his ass while the medieval Hudstoners cheer on with grog....They surround the jousting tournament as fattening spectators, the same way they crowd around the square bar of Hudstones...

Or I could see him with his receding hair cut short and be in an SS outfit smokin his cigarette and glaring at you the way he looks at you through his coke bottle size glasses.

"We will make der liberal talk mein Fuhrer!"

Then Hitler angrily responds,
"We are trying to make him stop talking, Dumbkopf! Der troops are losing their morale in the Iraqi front! He makes fun of me and he is Jewish! You must stop him or my people will not believe der Minister of Propaganda and Fox,Reichminister Karl Rove's propaganda! By the way, has anybody seen my stepford wife?"

Thank you for being the necessary conflict or to help this book have a general theme! Thank you for helping reinforce the countries views of rednecks as ignorant and sick perverts.

Now back to the real world and ignore the comments that he likes to leave on the tagboard hoping that I will forget to erase them. Maybe I will get help from Lillian on how to put call block on him. That way I can document it and slap a VPO on this Martian internet stalker!

I sometimes actually look forward to still see if this low life's mission is to bother me. But then it's like finally squeezing an awful zit without any scarring.

Maybe, I'll visit him when he's a chemotherapy patient or has to carry a bag or a dialysis machine to his neighborhood bar and thank him. He has given much more motivation for me to write. Do you think that his threats and rantings will make me give up writing? They only fire me up and I guess that is what he wants. So doesn't that make us all happy?

What will be on his tombstone?

I made fun of Garvald's dead wife and dead mother. I will be remembered in history for this deed when folks read the book and wonder if my character was real? Well I am as real as Pee Wee Herman!

It is funny that whenever I hit a cord or visit his bar he makes it a point of bothering the website or threaten to bend back my fingers! Did you actually make the pilgrimage to Mikes to have a fight, Bully Bob? Were you ever in the army? Maybe you can still go over there and fight? The army needs a few good men!

OK...I was gonna tell the rest of you how productive the last 24 hours have been! I updated my resume, bought some black shoes and a new pair of sandals! I woke up at 7, cuddled Buffy and finally got out of my house before 9! I went to the 10 am interview and filled up the rest of the morning getting information on all the schools that need special ed teachers. New Mexico pays about $8,000 more and it only costs $200/month for comfortable housing. I think I must have talked to at least 10 administrators that wanted me to come work for them! No, Billy Bubba, I won't tell you where since you are sick stalker that need some serious help!

The district in New Mexico covers a huge amount of square miles going from 6200 feet to almost 7000 feet. It is very dry and has the most beautiful scenery. Movie companies make westerns there. Maybe now that I have a camcorder, I could make a short! Bully Bob falls on his ass when he challenges his victim to a joust. Don't you just love those movies where the bully finally has his ass kicked by the victim of his constant bullying. oh...but you can't hit a bloke with glasses, so he just breaks all the bones on his ass so he can't do his favorite recreation any more...sitting on a bar stool!

I keep getting sidetracked because it's almost more fun to make fun of the internet stalker!

But seriously, it would be so cool to work there! There would be plenty of fun things to do. I could walk to the school and go hiking with Buffy and my camcorder in the evening. I would be close to snowskiing, rock climbing, pristine lakes in a very environmentally friendly and concious community!

I would just love to immerse myself in a totally different culture. This would be the best place to finish my book too. You can have as much quiet as you want away from the angry civilization iof JesusLand. The lady was such a cool administrator probably an older flower girl that has found her paradise. She was telling me how the folks are very laid back and non judgemental.

But seriously, it would be so fun to immerse myself in a Navajo culture. They have a totally different way of life. wow!...what an experience that would be!

Well, I only five minutes left on the downtown library's community. Well there are drinks and girls all over OKC and I have only a few more hours before poetry night at Galilieos!
Should I read this?

Ok so I haven't left yet. The ship was not ready to it's Thursday and I prograsstinated...
Muffy was angry about me leaving a message on her answering machine blaming it on the ADD and I was tired...I did take a little addaboy but she doesn't believe me. The special ed director of the school district believed me and I told her honestly that what I find most challenging or biggest problem was my ODD,
Organizational Deficit Disorder! She laughed even when I told her that I'm self diagnosed ADD. I said it dead pan. (I was best at being the straight man,ala Buster Keaton, when I was on an OKC improv group called Rick Allen's Perfect fun about 19 years ago...I see Rick on Pbs now with his wife pitching Public TV. He looks really old...I guess that happens when time flies :( He fired me after one show when I upstaged him and he sent me a bounced check for wages)

Ok back to why Buffy is frustrated with my disorganization and the prograsstination...I was feelling actually overwhelmed with all things I still had to do and worried that chew me out for forgetting the green pants or stuff...Oh well...Ich liebe dich noch!
Plus the wind was going about 30 miles an hour from the north...That would cost me about 5 miles to the gallon ,,,,I might get less than 25 miles a gallon verses as much as 30 when there is a good south wind at my back....(she rolls her eyes at his Hebrew logic) that is an extra 40 miles more ....
Really, I wanted to take the books back to the library, return the movies, and have my fluid leves checked...
I wanted to feel the motor running and the right condtions for flight!

Or maybe the real reason is that I just wanted to gloat some more with Charles and Dave over some really powerful herbal coffee! Dave was even more excited than me! He is in love with that part of New Mexico and the people.

He dropped by while I was cleaning my car and packing..... we both shared in the excitement...He was happy that I was going back to work too...He said that I have become wiser or something since I met him....I am much happier than I was and it was like Buffy saved me from my demons and past emotional trauma.

I just saw Buffy frolicking in the grass and actually enjoying my home as if she was my child...She was looking at me with her sad eyes happy to be alive and happy when I was happy...uncondional love....She wouldnt leave me because her hateful mother or daughter didnt like me...! But I have to keep her away from the very dangerous petroleum gluttons...

So what did I spend most of the day doing??
rambling like I am now...just feeling good..taping how excited I was about going to check out western New Mexico. The air is very clean and there is much beautiful high mountain desert and thin air...the people are so laid back and the vibes are so positive..
the Indians take care of their land...the only walmart is in Gallup!

The administrator I talked to was so cool, selling me on going there...Muffy was so excited too..Maybe she might come with me when I visit the area and the possible schools I might work at....Dave said I would have to fix the house...then I felt that I could get overwhelmed with doing that kind of stuff is always the tedious things that slow me down or even little things...when I take the plunge like I did in KC everything fell into place except that I had a personality conflict with an insecure principal that always left you little notes about little shit...she would never give a compliment but would love to undermine my authority even in front of the students....she would use the psychologist, the janitor and eventually the assistant to spy on me...don't get me started ...another teacher told Muffy that 10 teachers resigned the first week of this school year! They were tired of her controlling ways...The only time she said hello to me was when she knew that I wouldn't be coming back ...she got off my ass when I turned in the resignation effective for the end of the school year...But Garvald keeps getting back up and learns, but ever to slowly...

Sometimes I feel that my engine in my plane is finally all revved up and ready to take off....
I feel so much better...I wish that Buffy was a little more understanding...

I bare my soul like this and then the internet predator will leave some asinine comment at my expense and so I have to erase it...the other readers are bored with his remarks...
they liked it better when he left educated comments about the politics instead of making it personal...Maybe he could actually say that he was sorry and my tone concerning him might relax

Back to the beautiful area...It's funny about coincidence, synchronicity....
Dave spent his 10 th grade there and his mother is by coincidence a special ed teacher of Navajos in about the same area! He and Steph love going up there for revitalizes them...and the people have good vibes ...and the natives accept you if you are a teacher...I can't wait to visit and see I want to pursue this dream!

Muffy, please don't burst my bubble...

"Oy vey"
she responds as her eyes reach for the top of her head so effectively and deflatingly...

maybe I'll feel better to relax for one boulevard beer at my favorite famous intimate bar and grill,
"the Red Rooster" and then maybe I'll have a relatively early night so I can soar with the eagles in the morning, Mate....chill out Muffster!

forgive my rambling (i will do some serious editing later)

I just had to write 5 minutes to say Hello to all of my faithful and faith less readers in and out Of Jesusland! I am so excited to be on the road again, where I can finally relax..Muffy feels a lot better and so do I, but it still takes me 5 hours to say I have everything...
so many things on my list for the journey, library books to renew, turn in movies, check my fluid levels , make sure I have all my vitamins and flax seed to make sure my fluids will work well with my plumbing....(too much info?)....

Maybe Bully Bob has decided to leave me alone now that I might be filling in the ranks of the employed....It was so great to know that all these schools were wanting moi!...I loved using my sense of humor and charm in the interview while they tried to sell me on the heart seems to be going to NEW Mexico...Muffy wants to come with me on the road!...while I check out all the schools in the area!...and then the synchronicity and coincidence of so many things almost as road signs...

I am superstitious or my own spirituality as far as maybe there are reasons??....all this energy has to go somewhere..what is it??....I wish for something or think what would happen that would be the place for the blossoming of the purple, white and gold flower growing wild in my front yard...prettier than just a stepford green lawn!...the magic of Buffy's most beautiful color in her blond short hair all over her beautiful body...

I feel the spring in the air and I'm happier than I have been in a long time!

There was a fight late last night at the Rooster by the way, while I was speaking with the gods with another poet in moving motel, car. I watched 3 blokes and especially an overtestosteroned small guy attacking a bigger with the help of 2 others...Fortunately, a regular broke it up while asking the attacker pumped up on steroids, if he wanted to go to the victim that was getting his face beaten in gets up and crosses the street with what I think is his dog and then wait a minute!...
"That's my Buffy!"
so I'm running after her like a mother going nuts over her baby....Buffy is running off and I'm worried that a car might come....I would be really traumatized after reliving my own smack downs that I'm glad were not on cement!

I realized that I had to tell her "good girl" and then she quit running...maybe expecting a treat!
I love her so much...I don't want anything to happen to her....I have to be carefull...she is still a baby...only 3 months ....maybe like a 5 year old in human growth??

pax, Garvald!

lost letter in time:
I'm not even sure that this is the same pagan girl, but I just had to put my feelings out to the universe hoping that somehow you would catch it. Obviously from seeing you the last two times, your portrayal of coldness and attitude , almost like a customer that you have told to leave a long time ago. Any feelings towards this person were vacuumed out of the soul.
The only thing is that this vacuum that was created filled a void that I never knew existed even with Alene gone. The last 5 years, I have been in limbo, waiting to connect with you again regardless of what little remote chance of it happening.
I hope to even be able to talk to you because you seemed to be connected to how my mind and soul had evolved into the creature that I was then and the self actualized being that only you could see. I have beginning to get glimpes of this greatness that a while ago, would have seemed hopeless.
This vacuum has created a depression that seems to be only accentuated when I imbibe in the ocassional herb!
I'm in Vegas again, two extremes like a bipolar personality. I see the stark contrasts; the baroque opulence of inexhaustible amounts of cash compared to this poor little village on the Rez in New Mexico.
to be continued....

Another reason we should have freedom to write and heal

One person was polite but did not think that I should continue writing this blog. Instead I should just focus on my students. I am focusing on the students that might want to learn or at least learn to question their own angry behavior and needless violence...
I wonder why this state just wants everyone to conform and just be good sheep?
So many bartenders have told me that I should not write in a bar. Bars are only for pool, watching American sports, and getting fat. You should not write or talk about anything deeper than the weather or sports.
No wonder this state is 43rd in the comfort zone and how it scares away anything cool or creative. I have been reading this book about writing helps you heal.

Writing from Within: A Guide to Creativity and Life Story Writing

Yes, you have stories to tell about your life and experiences, your parents and siblings, your friends and enemies, and you can write the stories of your life with intimacy, depth of feeling, and astute observations. Where will these admirable qualities come from? From within yourself.

Writing from Within presents a proven program that helps you free up memories and buried images from the past, discover your own creative spark, and develop the skills and confidence you need to write your own life story. Whether you're an experienced writer or a complete novice, you'll embark on a voyage of self-discovery in which you learn to express yourself fully and beautifully on paper, get in touch with your most meaningful memories, and harness the power of those memories to create truthful and vivid stories. You'll also learn to use fiction techniques such as narrative, dialogue, and inner monologue to bring your stories to life; overcome the fear of writing; and develop your authentic writing voice.

There are many reasons to write your life story. Perhaps the best reason is to provide those who come after you with a sense what has gone before, where they came from, and how to plot out their own paths in life.(that is one very reason why I will not let this go!) Whatever your reason, Writing from Within will help you to write a lively, accurate, and compelling account of the things you've done and what you thought and felt as you experienced your life.

Bernard Selling is a writing instructor and the creator of the autobiographical writing program for the adult division of the Los Angeles Unified School District. He gives lectures and writing workshops around the country.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Ruby Tuesday, and the eve of getting back to the real world of work!

Sometimes, the best revenge is to just ignore the folks that are jealous.
You walk with your head held high knowing that you are a survivor. You will find happiness. They will just continue negating you and cutting you down. They continue in their downward spiral before they get their final D.U.I. Maybe they will learn humility when they do some introspective thought about what they have accomplished in their own lives. Or they will get bitch slapped.

I had returned a movie to Blockbuster and I was in a good mood. I was hungry and was not afraid to walk into a place filled with animosity. All I recognized was the bandana twin dressed this time in a stocking cap. I greeted him when I went to the restroom. He responded with a grunt, "fine!". He still seemed to filled with hate. Maybe he has not get over me "belittling" the bartender when I tried to explain what a bar "utopia" was.

Several months ago,
Before the elections of the our Thief in the White House,the angry residents of Hudstones, Bandana boy and his angry chubby female friend from the other side of the bar went off on me when I had not even talked to them the whole evening. It was a peaceful evening but that was enough for the insecure bartender to kick me out when I was already paying the tab and remarking on what a peaceful evening it was (Martin was not there)

By the way, I finally found the closest place to a bar utopia,the Red Rooster. They allow me to bring in Buffy and I have only met warm friendly people that do not get upset when you write. They actually to take home your writing and give you positive feedback instead of perverted comments on the tagboard. The redneck does this whenever he loses an argument and is too afraid to register his comment. He is afraid we will find out who he is, a bully at the corner of the bar with no life.

Today is another glorious day.
I have been just spending it with Buffy sitting outside reading about "Writing from within" or trying to write on my outdated computer.

I was going to make a trip to UCO to fix my resume, but realize that I can do it just as well at the library. I need to make about 40 copies for the job fair tomorrow!

I know that I have made many mistakes in the past but I have had success with many students. It's funny when ever you are doing well, an insecure person might want to cut you down to make themselves look better in front of others.

I realize that I will put my best foot forward and I have some great references from the male principals whom I have worked with succesfully in special education.

It helped my self esteem a great deal when I have gone to this event in the past.
It makes you feel better to know that you can have a job if you want the location.

This is very big step for me finally going back into the hunt for jobs. It will be the first time that I will be getting up before 9 in a long time.

I think that I will reward myself with a beer and steak dinner at the Brewery in Bricktown and just avoid any bar bullies. I will make it a point of being around only helpful, supportive people that are openminded.

It is amazing how just a little of that aderall helps me focus even thought I still procrastinated until 7 before revising my resume. It is amazing how just even doing a little bit of something like that starts the ball rolling from anxiety to excitement about talking to a great variety of people. I wonder if some of them might stare at me as if they know something that I don't? But those are the paranoid feelings that can easily beset me and that critic within myself that does think that they will want to hire me. I have good reference from the last 3 male principals but I know how people talk and spread rumors.

I will walk in with my head held high knowing that if I commit to this school, I will commit to helping these children as best as I can through a variety of positive interventions! Boy! I'm already sounding like I might in the interview. I know that with my many years of experience in positive interventions and bringing up the best behaved multicultural multethnic canine in the neighborhood, I will be a great asset to the school district. I will put myself in the mindset that they need me more than I need them for a job. I want to have it where I have an option of many schools to choose from and different locations.

It is only after I've had the little bit of addaboy that I feel so motivated and excited about the new possibilities instead of just feeling so overwhelmed that I do not even feel like leaving the house.

Well, I only have 5 more minutes but I am glad to share this with you. I'm sure that a few angry alcoholics will want to stop me from success, but I hope that someday they will regret their actions or maybe they just do not have a conscience.

I thought I would give a quote from a blogger when she wrote about her own journal.
This journal exists to put things out there. When I write it, it’s for me. When you read it, it’s for you. If you know what it means, we’re connecting. If you don’t, there’s no such thing as connection. But I know better than that. Make it what you want. Karma is whatever connection we choose to make

Some folks don't want to accept or hear what I say and so I keep a journal. I am happy that I have so many readers over the year. There must be some reason that folks like to read this and maybe they might question what they do or just find what I right interesting.

I realize that some of my writing can be confrontational, but I think that I need to bring to light some things that do bother me. If people get upset that is their choice. They do not have to read my journal.

I hope that you continue to read my site. Instead of telling me not to write anymore why don't you give me some constructive criticism instead of the usual hate mail.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Neighborhood Bully in the corner of the bar makes pilgrimage to Mike's Tavern!

I would love to continue this inspired by the educated monkeys that can read and write about necrophilia on the internet!.....leave some educated comments...but BB Queen, you are too afraid to show the cyber world your registered are afraid to show everyone how really undereducated you are....
Have a great day...I will....thanks for reading....when you come out of the closet, Billy,(don't be a hero), I might even autograph a copy of the book for you....I doubt you will ever do that....
you are the type to sucker punch when no one is put on this show on the tagboard because you don't want to admit that you are a computer nerd that enjoys porn
and no one except the ladies on Lincoln Blvd. would want your money that you don't spend at Hudson's.

News flash:
Internet stalker still using work time to promote his perversion,
hoping his sick comedy will be published on the internet!

The problem is that blokes with his symptoms the sad cases that have no life so they stalk celebriites. They need to have contrlol over who they are harassing or seeking. They make posters of their targets. Maybe I ought to get a hold of u
Uncle Vinnie to see what folks will be in need of good major medical coverage?

Maybe someone could sell medical coverage to protect from inebriated customer that have 70 iq from killing too many brain cells and they have only one pair of grandparents.
What another gorgeous day except that I have not even really left my neighborhood. It would be cool if there was a pub within the actual "neighborhood"!
Lata Mates, Maybe I'll check out the bitches at the dog park with my favorite bitch, Buffy.

Pax ubiscum in Oklahoma!
Garvald :)
I had so

Renaissance Fair in Norman, Jesusland

Just after the middle ages when the Pope was in charge of the western world, along came alot of creativity inspired and financed by a wealthy Florentine family, The Medici's. The pope was even more powerful than the fundamentalists that have taken over the government today. The difference between the pope back then and ignorant fundamentalists is that he apreciated art. What a shame that George and his favorite Baptists want us to be back to the middle ages where art and freedom of thought was not allowed.

They believed that the world was flat and this earth was the center of the universe.

Now the church won't be happy until we all believe that we came from Adam and Eve. They don't believe that our ancestors were monkeys with the names of Billy Bob or Martin.

A glorious day in Jesusland!...I better make sure to put some strong sun tan lotion on my head. It's about 30 miles to Norman to see all the knights and ladies pretending to be in the middle ages long before there were internet predators that like to start fights with pacifists in bars when they lose arguments.

I would love to see Martin, the middle aged juvenile delinquent, get on a horse for some jousting and see him and his athletic glasses falling off of his high Repuklican horse. That would be a sight to see his out of shape ass on a horse...
On the tag board he actually mentioned that he enjoys wearing tights!
What a very sad creature!...I've heard that others have seen you at the Copa, Martin?

I still need to get with Lillian about changing the tag board so that it won't let internet porn predators on the tag board. He loves to hear himself speak or watch his dirt be put on the world of cyberspace. Maybe he was one of my students like the children of the corn from Chickasha and somehow found out about this site. He wants to harass his old teacher.

These group of cheerleaders, about 14, the same irritating juvenile age as Muffy's daughter, kept having sleepovers and would call from the house of a wealthy jeweler until one of the "innocents" forgot to put call block on the number. So I called the police and the family was so embarassed that they apologized. Some folks enjoy making others uncomfortable through verbal or physical initimidation. There are sick individuals whether they are adolescents or adults that have never grown up or never come to terms with their own insecurities.

There was an assistant principal friend and the football coach who would always leave dirty messages on the answering machine too. I finally cut them off when I met the pagan girl. They broke into my house on Halloween when she was out at a party and I was in Wewoka.

It's funny that the only two times that my house was broken into were by people that I knew. Maybe this internet predator is Randy? I am just tired of dealing with those kinds of people that enjoy making other people miserable!

Well, I am going to have a great day with Buffy at the renaissance fair. Maybe I'll find a medieval costume for Buffy to wear for a while :). I'll take my camcorder and maybe Lillian or some one good with puters can show me how I can put it on the internet. Dogs are so much more innocent than their masters.

well, Ill see ya lata mates!

Damn! I thought that I was gonna get outta here before noon :(
but at least I gave Buffy a bath and shower...there was so much dirt in the tub...I need to take camcorder, dress up in my Aussie hat and green feminist shirt, a cell phone, and duck tape wallet...what else...oh yeah, shorts and buffy must have hid one of my favorite sandals ....ever since I was looking around for a needle and thread to try and fix it before it falls apart..

Have a beer on me at Mike's...what hobbies do you have Bullly Billy other than bending back fingers and 10 0z lifts?? :)

Tuesday 117 am: I would rate today a little above average just because I am excited about life more. I feel that I can face these demons and have more control of them in my life. Self doubt and that critic that is almost as bad as Bubba stuck in your brain like a lost cousin from Arkansas cutting you down.

After taking Buffy for a late night walk, it was so nice to relax in a friendly warm bar. Buffy draws so much positive affection. The Red Rooster is the friendliest and by far warmest bar in this cold town where smiling staff are rare.

But then after dropping off a movie, I had to stop in at Hudstone's across the street. It was safer just to have a booth and just deal with a waitress that doesn't like to smile instead of a bar with angry looks. I thought that I recognized one of the original Bandana twins in a stocking cap. I missed have just missed Martian. I was wearing my X_files hat and camcorder in case I saw the UFO, Unidentified flying oaf.

The waitress was ok, but the Red Rooster and the Red Dog are some of the few places where the staff smiles. Usually I get some comments after I visit the place, The bartender will tell Bully Bob about the visit, since he's on Martian's pay role.

I wonder if Martian will leave some more comments angry that I stopped at his "neighborhood" bar.
I am tired but I had to say it's cool to walk into a place just to say that you are over it and all the redneck animosity still brewing after we hailed to the thief in Washington.

I am happy that it is difficult for the tag board perv to leave nasty messages. We will block or his juvenile comments. The pathetic creature won't get the attention that it craves. I imagined Gollum with thick glasses hunting and pecking on the keyboard when the boss isn't looking....
Pax, Garvald

12:20 am Wednesday
It is so nice to finally have a polite comment on the tagboard from
" not a hater : May be you should stop focusing on so many other peoples reactions and get your life together- -maybe it is time to let this go and foc us on your students"

Do you have a favorite hobby? This board has become my favorite site. This would not have drawn the hate mail if a certain individual did not make it a point to harass my site ever since it started. I will continue writing ...but I would like to know if you would be so kind as to give some constructive criticism....
There are many things that are not right with this country... I will not let this go!

I thought this comment of yours was hilarious too BB?Martin/ Sybill

Apparently you have a reality that is just as abstract as most Democrats have. If someone sticks his finger a half inch from someone’s face, that is technically assault. So if someone proceeds to “assault me” then I will absolutely assault them in any way possible. You say that I had friends to back me up in case of an altercation, yet I was the one all alone standing by the door telling him to take it out side. So now you call me an alcoholic because I meet with friends after work for good conversation and laughs, when all you talk about is the last bar you were in. The only difference between our bar activities is that you don’t have a neighbor hood bar with friends you can shoot the breeze with because 99.9% of the people you meet can’t stand to be near you for any length of time once they have to listen to your ramblings. Ever notice how most people move away from you as soon as you open your mouth, especially women. Now you say that I threaten you, which I have absolutely not done. What I did do was ask you to sit down next to me and call me an “alcoholic” to my face. You seem to be better at bashing people on this web site that don’t agree with you far left political leanings, then saying the same things to them in person. That just makes you a spineless coward. The answer to your quote below is your right, it’s not safe.

”If that is the case, and the establishment condones your violence and loud mouth then maybe it is not safe for people with different views to go to such an establishment.”
Have a nice day

# posted by Anonymous : 2:59 PM

this was your funniest comment that was in our memorable archive...
I'm glad when your questionable reputation is at stake, how you come out of the closet but prefer to make up names on the tagboard
you show the world what gutless invertebrates you truly are
...when will you do it again??...
by the way, how are your fingers??
or your health...
is your only workout 12 oz lifts or are they only 10 oz. at your place of inebriated worship.??
does your fat ass ever workout??
I'm worried that you might have a stroke the next time you lose an argument and keel over on the barstool with your ass engraved on it...

I have a question Martin, (because I know you are one of the only redneck readers but have enjoyed my site more than any just as you have given me much more material to write about)...
Are you a better Liar than Powell (who was really told to lie) or Bush?

but you never answer the questions...
You are too funny...
I enjoyed Hudson's until your ugly face with the goofy glasses and loud grunts came along...

When were you born?

..I was in Michigan about 30 years ago and met some nice coeds there at the University...

Do you know who your Daddy is or were you adopted and seperated at birth ?

There was another bloke that looked like he was a "good fellow" from Detroit, smothering Amberly the way Martin muscled in on the triathlete,,,,

his face was full of crevices and almost as ugly as Martin...He kept staring at me either because he was jealous or wanted to hit on me instead???...I was thinking that if I asked if he wanted a picture, he would go ballistic the way most inebriated monkeys act at redneck bars...

You have been ouplayed and outmaneuvered frequently..... as I have checkmated you many times on this site cannot answer the questions as to the incompetence and lying of this administration... so you are continually checkmated... as a last resort you make comments about dead people that were very precious to you bully and I want the cyber world to see what a bottom dweller you are...even worse than your mentor, Karl

is there intelligence in outerspace or in the lying lunatic right wing power addicted Nazis?

you start distracting or trying your best to discredit the source ...
you start making jokes about France like Rush or Fox News instead of why the president lies so much and is not held accountable, but he can't be anonymous
He and Delay will have their comeuppance and I can't wait to see you eat your words if you liver doesn't burst first

other ignorant folks want to believe you and I congratulate you for brainwashing some of the undereducated customers and staff...
maybe because you have alot of money to waste so the bartender wants to kiss your behind!

You have a nice day, too, Martin and all the closeminded fools

oh by the way, Happy Martin's Day!

You are too funny, I wish that I had a picture of you to show everyone how stupid you look :)

Pax and Love,