Monday, February 28, 2005

Buffy meets Muffy!

So it finally happened. My blonde, sharpe, chow, multiracial bitch meets my lady and everything goes as predicted!
It is like sky rockets in flight
afternoon delight!

They connect the way Thelma and Louise connected!
They had an instant telepathic interconnecting of thought so much that I could see Buffy leave me to go on some wild road trip with out me!
Girls only!

It was when Muffy fed her that rice and Chinese brocoli from her favorite drive thru oriental restaurant. Buffy scarfed up her food while nestled in her maternal lap and realized that this women can feed her better than this bald giant who never satisfies her apetite.

Muffy is a female of the animal species also and understands the female gender so much better!
She knows how to take care of a daughter.

Buffy knows who the alpha female is of the household and sees how the bald giant much bigger than her, cowers under the power this woman can have over her pack.

Garvald has good taste with women and he knows how to pick out beautiful alpha females.
He has picked out the cutest most charismatic, golden, alpha puppy that he has encountered in his life. He sees her as his canine soulmate and is well worth having the 204$ major medical for her.

He brings her up her knowing that she will also be a shu in for the adoration of Muffy's daughter!
The daughter finally talks to Garvald asking for her to play several times!

Muffy, Buffy and Garvald all snuggle up on the couch to laugh at Chris Rock doing an effective
ridicule of Bush. Imagine Bush running the Gap the way he has put this country into debt.
Then lets start a war with the the Banana Republic accusing them of tank tops when they don't have them.(Don't get me started!)

March 3rd

I finally broke down and invested in a camcorder so that I could film Buffy and interview folks throughout the world about the ever increasing power of the most dangerous president our country has had in history! With the history of Bush and all the dirty tricks directed by Rove and all the new Neo Nazis, it would not surprise me that Bush had Hunter Thompson assasinated when he started investigating about the government actually knowing about 9/11 and wanting to cover it up like #Watergate!

Monday, February 21, 2005

White House Propaganda

The White House Stages Its 'Daily Show'

Published: February 20, 2005

THE prayers of those hoping that real television news might take its cues from Jon Stewart were finally answered on Feb. 9, 2005. A real newsman borrowed a technique from fake news to deliver real news about fake news in prime time.

Let me explain.

On "Countdown," a nightly news hour on MSNBC, the anchor, Keith Olbermann, led off with a classic "Daily Show"-style bit: a rapid-fire montage of sharply edited video bites illustrating the apparent idiocy of those in Washington. In this case, the eight clips stretched over a year in the White House briefing room - from February 2004 to late last month - and all featured a reporter named "Jeff." In most of them, the White House press secretary, Scott McClellan, says "Go ahead, Jeff," and "Jeff" responds with a softball question intended not to elicit information but to boost President Bush and smear his political opponents. In the last clip, "Jeff" is quizzing the president himself, in his first post-inaugural press conference of Jan. 26. Referring to Harry Reid and Hillary Clinton, "Jeff" asks, "How are you going to work with people who seem to have divorced themselves from reality?"

If we did not live in a time when the news culture itself is divorced from reality, the story might end there: "Jeff," you'd assume, was a lapdog reporter from a legitimate, if right-wing, news organization like Fox, and you'd get some predictable yuks from watching a compressed video anthology of his kissing up to power. But as Mr. Olbermann explained, "Jeff Gannon," the star of the montage, was a newsman no more real than a "Senior White House Correspondent" like Stephen Colbert on "The Daily Show" and he worked for a news organization no more real than The Onion. Yet the video broadcast by Mr. Olbermann was not fake. "Jeff" was in the real White House, and he did have those exchanges with the real Mr. McClellan and the real Mr. Bush.

"Jeff Gannon's" real name is James D. Guckert. His employer was a Web site called Talon News, staffed mostly by volunteer Republican activists. Media Matters for America, the liberal press monitor that has done the most exhaustive research into the case, discovered that Talon's "news" often consists of recycled Republican National Committee and White House press releases, and its content frequently overlaps with another partisan site, GOPUSA, with which it shares its owner, a Texas delegate to the 2000 Republican convention. Nonetheless, for nearly two years the White House press office had credentialed Mr. Guckert, even though, as Dana Milbank of The Washington Post explained on Mr. Olbermann's show, he "was representing a phony media company that doesn't really have any such thing as circulation or readership."

How this happened is a mystery that has yet to be solved. "Jeff" has now quit Talon News not because he and it have been exposed as fakes but because of other embarrassing blogosphere revelations linking him to sites like and to an apparently promising career as an X-rated $200-per-hour "escort." If Mr. Guckert, the author of Talon News exclusives like "Kerry Could Become First Gay President," is yet another link in the boundless network of homophobic Republican closet cases, that's not without interest. But it shouldn't distract from the real question - that is, the real news - of how this fake newsman might be connected to a White House propaganda machine that grows curiouser by the day. Though Mr. McClellan told Editor & Publisher magazine that he didn't know until recently that Mr. Guckert was using an alias, Bruce Bartlett, a White House veteran of the Reagan-Bush I era, wrote on the nonpartisan journalism Web site Romenesko, that "if Gannon was using an alias, the White House staff had to be involved in maintaining his cover." (Otherwise, it would be a rather amazing post-9/11 security breach.)

By my count, "Jeff Gannon" is now at least the sixth "journalist" (four of whom have been unmasked so far this year) to have been a propagandist on the payroll of either the Bush administration or a barely arms-length ally like Talon News while simultaneously appearing in print or broadcast forums that purport to be real news. Of these six, two have been syndicated newspaper columnists paid by the Department of Health and Human Services to promote the administration's "marriage" initiatives. The other four have played real newsmen on TV. Before Mr. Guckert and Armstrong Williams, the talking head paid $240,000 by the Department of Education, there were Karen Ryan and Alberto Garcia. Let us not forget these pioneers - the Woodward and Bernstein of fake news. They starred in bogus reports ("In Washington, I'm Karen Ryan reporting," went the script) pretending to "sort through the details" of the administration's Medicare prescription-drug plan in 2004. Such "reports," some of which found their way into news packages distributed to local stations by CNN, appeared in more than 50 news broadcasts around the country and have now been deemed illegal "covert propaganda" by the Government Accountability Office.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Peace talks at Garvald's

The social chairman, Dave rang the door bell while Garvald was drying off from his daily shower. Now, there is more in his daily morning or noon ritual now that he has to take care of Buffy. He has the instant Java, evaporated milk, Okie honey, and a tablespoon of ground flax seed to activate his constitution before visiting his bathroom library. Garvald wondered if someone had rang his doorbell earlier. He has to get up relatively early to let Buffy out to pee; 8:30 this morning. It was at least sunny while he also helped fertilize the back yard cedars in his "fantasy forest". He had a feeling that it would be Dave. He opens the window with only a towel around him, predicting a peace offering from his western neighbor.

"Did you know you have a big black crow in your backyard? I shoot birds except when they are really colorful."

Besides the neighborly gossip that had been missing from their relationship for the past several months, there was mention of some extra tasty coffee that he would like to to share. It was a premium blend that later accentuated our almost exhilarating meeting of the minds.

"I want to apologize but you've been a shithead, too!"

Garvald didn't respond to the backhanded part of the apology, but apreciated Dave's sincerity in his apology. He invited him to come over in 10 minutes after he puts on his "furs". Dave went across the street to borrow a rifle from Charles to shoot crow excited about the new peace and "burying the hatchet."

Garvald thinks,
"I don't have any hatchets to bury"

Garvald and Dave renew their relationship and have good conversation about Buffy and their world travels while he shows him the map of the world with photos from around the world pasted to the map. Dave mentioned all the places that he travelled to all over South America and part of Asia.

Garvald in his cannabized state actually thought that this neighborly experience was just a microcosm of his solutions to all the hate and anger fermenting in this world of greed and selfishness....

Garvald and Dave are happy about the release of all the thick negative vibes that had permeated the neighborhood for the last several months. It was a breath of fresh air flavored with the magical herb

(to be continued with great relish but I am hungry and I'm enjoying Millissa Milano in "Poison Ivy 2". Don't actually has some good poetry and I could empathize with the heartbroken art professor who has his heart broken by the tart with such delicious mammary glands...)

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


I'm listening to this song so full of hate and then I really feel that I need to escape this country!
This bloke was bragging about his 22 acres, his 15000 ft. mansion with elevator, his lake stocked with different fish for him to fish and "slice up himself" looking at his host the way Tupak for Shur would look at his victim of drive by shooting with no remorse or conscience ....

He talks down to his host, Jimmy Kimmel who is an asshole anyway...Then rolls his eyes almost mocking the host...what a total asshole!...and then I worry about the way scum rises to the top...
the way Dubya at the other end of the spectrum rose
with no credentials other than being from a very rich powerful family of powerful ancestors..
they are both rich, power hungry and appear to have little conscience...
that is the natural way
the way we killed without conscience when wiping out other species of naked ape
or strangers from another klan

I am tired...I know that I sound a little bitter but this jerk really got to me...maybe because this "singer" really got on my nerves reminding me of one of my emotionally disturbed students....

that would be a nightmare seeing this egotistical rich angry rapper all the time...For the only entertainment...that would make me crazy...they are playing this shit for more than half an hour...

Does Kimmell want to get the whole middle school America crowd by putting on this shit??
In my classes, it seems like the hate in the music was cool to do cuz other cats listen to this mindless rant .....the music is more irritating than the mindless rant of Rush or Hannity ...Imagine O'Reilly doing a redneck rap rant...
I'm just trying to see how long I can handle this kind of trauma when my blood sugar to low to tolerate it..

wow! what a relief when this "music" is over like finally getting an ingrown toenail out of your toe and you breathe a sigh of relief from the release of pain and anger

forgive me if this sounds racist but I'm not afraid to say that I cannot stand rap.. This "music" would be a good form of torture for Repuklican klansmen locked up with this blaring into their cells or just for the normal person that enjoys James Taylor or Karly Simon!...
This would be great for Abu Grabe (I don't know the spelling of the prison!)

I am afraid of everything that this world is turning into....
with the golden temples serving "food", that will make you sick if that is all you eat
the Nazis taking over the government,
and Ludikrust winning a Grammy??(that's like Cher getting an Oscar about a decade ago)......... and just want to escape :(.....
to a safer, more intelligent, place with more love, harmony, and away from all this anger and hate

How ironic that such shitty music is making this asshole rich..
How ironic that they truly are ludicrous!

Main Entry: lu·di·crous
Pronunciation: 'lü-d&-kr&s
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin ludicrus, from ludus play, sport; perhaps akin to Greek loidoros abusive
Date: 1782
1 : amusing or laughable through obvious absurdity, incongruity, exaggeration, or eccentricity
2 : meriting derisive laughter or scorn as absurdly inept, false, or foolish
synonym see LAUGHABLE
- lu·di·crous·ly adverb
- lu·di·crous·ness noun

If this post sounds a little too bitter, let me know and I will take it out...:(

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Who is that bald giant?

That giant just took me outside after he was staring at me pee. It's getting cold not like when that big yellow thing was out and kept me warm. He was outside with me sitting on a chair. He would occasionally blow into this small skinny thing about the size of a small white bone. Sometimes when I was trying to get on his nerves for attention he would blow smoke from it into my face. I would have to put my paw in front of my eyes to stop it. Then I would feel very tired and not want to play anymore. I just wanted to take a nap. So I lay out and felt the warmth from that big yellow thing in the sky.

I've been with him for about 2 weeks in this new house
(I think that's what they were called in my previous life). That smoke from him makes me think of some weird shit like I might have looked like him or one of those other big animals in a previous life. They are ugly looking without any fur on them except for this fur like stuff that they can take off anytime they want. My younger sisters and one brother have plenty of fur and aren't bald. I'm the only white girl in the family so I wonder about who the bastard is that is my father! There were 5 of us together. My father never showed his face. Typical male just gets some and then runs away when the mother gets pregnant!

I was the top bitch of the family until this asshole came along and took me across to his place across the street. How come there are no laws against keeping a beautiful bitch like me cooped up in this messy house ? I mean I much preferred playing and pissing on a much newer carpet with my own family. They didn't mess with me or I would bite their little butts off! My teeth are sharp, man, so don't fuck with me!

This bald monster just grabs me and gropes me whenever he wants and then doesn't even have the decency to feed me or at least get me a drink.
He just kicks me out of his house for me to fend for myself in the cold.
He always seem to do it after I piss but when I shit, he sometimes leave me outside for hours!

Then he comes back with other big monsters and they pass around that white bone and out comes smoke. They all start barking more and making this high pitched sound in unison. I guess they thought they were funny.

They looked really goofy and I wonder about this bald monster that I am living with. He takes all of his fur off and walks around the house furless! How disgusting! I wasn't as weird as him in my previous life as one of these bigger animals. No wonder he lives alone! I hope that some one else takes me sometimes but then he smiles at me and gives me the sweetest hugs. I look into his eyes and I know that he loves me! Now he's opened the door and he's smiling at me. That asshole better let me in. My ass is getting very cold! I can't wait to take a nap in his warm house. I might talk to you more tomorrow, but I sleep most of the day. I'll see if I can fit you into my schedule.

love, Buffy
P.S send me some bacon...This honky always keeps me hungry!

Monday, February 14, 2005


I wasn't sure whether to start this off in the eyes of Buffy or do a cut and paste on Dudley Moore's "Arthur",(1981) with John Gielgud playing the classis butler, Hobson. My own version was wondering if this was a bloke with no goals in life until he realizes that he has met the love of his life and any amount of $ is immaterial to him. I am a hopeless romantic and realize that I have these delusions of turning all these essays into some sort of book that will turn into a humorous semi-autobiographical about an adult ADD with his comedic trial of errors finally getting the big score showing his brave heart attitude towards the powers that be (Republicans=the rich Aristocratic English wanting to control the wild (Liberal) Scots!
He gets 6 figures for his book and goes on the lecture tour discussing ADD in schools and in adults while trying to survive a redneck fundamentalist claustrophobic climate. (wow=cannabis all day)

Arthur, 28 January 2005
Author: dfaye-1 from United States

The funniest and the best movie I've ever seen with a brilliant performance put up by Dudley Moore. I sure think he deserves more credit for this film. Its filled with humorous and witty dialogues and the English accent definitely adds to the hilarity. I would highly recommend this movie...and really wish it were re-released on DVD.

Throughout the movie, Arthur entertains the audience by finding amusement amidst daily chores and in daily conversation. I think the funniest scene was the proposal to Susan where he actually leaves the ring on the table instead of putting it on her finger and arrival at Linda's house in wee hours of the morning. Hobson unquestionably contributes his humor to the movie especially during the scene in the bathtub where they talk about fish bathing together.

Even funnier is when Linda pathologically lies to suit her convienence and get out of trouble !!

A sure must see movie to lighten up your day!

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a comic masterpiece, 24 January 2005

Author: uckpshh from london, england

This movie made me laugh from beginning to end with silly humour coming from the mouth of a Brit, there is no better combination. Dudley Moore's performance is charming and brilliant, but the real painful stomach laughs come from Hobson, a snooty butler. His delivery and timing are flawless and genius. This movie has what I would call realistic characters with smart dialogue and a beautiful soundtrack. This movie is in the same league as Monty python and the holy grail as well as well as fawlty towers and black adder. If you are not a fan of such cinema, than I strongly suggest you avoid this movie at all costs, on the other hand, if you're like me and liked the other things I listed, do yourself a devour and pick this movie up.

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Bumbling meets ruthless, 21 May 2004

Author: jraso from montreal

This is a bittersweet comedy.

Arthur (Dudley Moore) is very convincing as the bumbling, unhappy millionaire, caught up in an arranged marriage by his 'ruthless' grandmother and future father-in-law.

He initially has no backbone to save himself from an eventual unhappy marriage until he meets Linda (Liza Minnelli) who is equally convincing as the penniless waitress who falls for him.

The supporting cast is just as hilarious as our two main characters. Great one-liners and witty banter define the script.


Money or your life, 21 September 2003

Author: esteban hernandez from Italy

Excellent comedy starred by Dudley Moore supported by Liza Minnelli and good-speaking John Gielgud. Moore is Arthur, a man belonging to a multimillionaire family, who was near to get 750 million dollars provided that he marries to a lady (Susan) from another multimillionaire family. In principle, Arthur accepted the conditions, but he finally refused when he met nice and poor Linda Marolla (Liza Minneli). Arthur was just a parasite because he did not work, he only enjoyed himself drinking hard and having fun with prostitutes. After several serious thoughts in his life and for the first time, Arthur decided not to marry Susan only few minutes before their wedding. The end was happy for Linda and Arthur although the latter knew that his life will change in the coming future. This comedy is a good lesson for life for anyone. Rich people are not usually happy with their ways of life.

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If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it's meant to be
Valentines day, a year later

I think of it as Ground Hog day except I'm determined for it not to happen again where I lose my job. The principals had me come in during my planning today and it was what I expected but I was mentally prepared for a fight and I knew they would bring up the 3 things that they brought up. Mcb blames me for Clay refusing to go into the inclusion class and I should have thought of several alternatives and written them down already (the fact that we decided to have an IEP about it wasn't a plan!); forgetting the directions to read to the students for their testing (now I have to write a lesson plan about how I will test Sped students); and thirdly I need to write lesson plans the way she wants them.
I had a long drawn out debate and she was getting upset about me being defensive and saying I was sarcastic?? I asked how I was sarcastic? I was almost proud the way I stood up to her. It's funny how I'm not intimidated by female superiors even though they seem to be intimidate me more than men sometime the way it seems they are always trying to catch you out!
It was a relief to come out and smile at Roxanne when she looked at me as I was in trouble because I know she knew that I was being grilled. I walked out of there walking tall knowing that I can take care of it and the paranoia was over. I was psychic and I imagined the way it was going to be and it was almost as if I was psychic....the way I suddenly realized that I probably have another love child out there by that pagan girl that won't talk to me.
In the summer of 2004, the way some guys were talking about the mischievous little boy that was full of energy was probably at two meaning he would have had to be born in the summer of 2002, and therefore conceived when we made love that last time around october 24th, that Sunday evening when she wanted to taste me one last time! hmmmm.....wierd or what ...another love child that I wasn't sure of like seeing Linda Fry obviously a few months pregnant and then marrying her other suitor when I couldn't give up Alene!

Now I found out finally through blogging and coming across Pagan falls that Michelle was raped and her controlling friend, Angelina, tells the universal blogosphere about it! She just had her baby and now has 3 children living with her and my poor ex lover is on welfare alienated from her controlling mother who wanted her to have an abortion! I imagine it was her ex bf that did it also falling into her spell the way so many other men have fallen for her;

bitten by that fateful spider bite of love and the pain of shelob would always stay with these men to their dying breaths.....

{wow ! and there was no magical herb involved with this writing!}

if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it's meant to be

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Is a Broken Heart a Real Medical Event?

Is a Broken Heart a Real Medical Event?
Researchers Find Evidence of Short-Term Stress Damage to Heart

Suffering from a broken heart can produce real effects on the organ, researchers now believe. (Photodisc)

Feb. 10, 2004 — Is there really such a thing as a broken heart?

A study published today in the "New England Journal of Medicine" suggests there may be. The article claims that an emotionally stressful situation, such as a loved one's unexpected death, may actually cause the symptoms of heart failure in some people.

Love Beats Depression for Women, Not Men

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore examined 19 individuals with no prior medical problems who showed symptoms of stress cardiomyopathy — chest pain, difficulty breathing or low blood pressure — following a stressful event.

A series of exams, including blood tests and angiograms, revealed that all of the subjects had a severe dysfunction of the left side of the heart. The same tests performed two to four weeks later, however, indicated that these defects had completely resolved.

The investigators noticed that these individuals had abnormally high levels of stress hormones, which can be toxic to the heart muscle. They hypothesized that this temporary weakening of the heart muscle may be triggered by the stress hormones.

A Real-Life 'Broken Heart'
The lead author of the study, Dr. Ilan Wittstein, notes that although the "potentially lethal consequences of emotional stress are rooted in folk wisdom, as reflected by phrases such as 'scared to death,'" the study gives credibility to the idea of a real-life broken heart.

Reversible heart damage seen in times of emotional stress is not nearly as common as a true heart attack, which results in permanent damage to heart muscle. But the phenomenon is real, and it hadn't been formally recognized by any American studies until Wittstein and his colleagues described it.

Dr. William Abraham, chief of cardiovascular medicine at Ohio State University in Columbus, said the theory about stress hormones "is a biologically plausible explanation for unexplained heart failure in previously healthy people."

(I wonder if this happened to me when my heart was broken? :( )
Recognition by the Medical Community Is Rare
The phenomenon of stress-related heart problems is not a new matter, but it has perhaps been under-recognized until now.

With all of this publicity," said Wittstein, "doctors will start to recognize this syndrome more often, and we can reassure patients that we know what this is, and the outcome will be all right."

The authors write, "When medical support is provided initially, patients with stress cardiomyopathy have rapid & improvement and have an excellent prognosis."

The study found that, four years later, none of the subjects had died or had a recurrence of heart problems.

"Many doctors tend to discount the role of severe stress in heart disease," said Abraham. He explained that stress on its own, whether emotional or physical, is a risk factor for traditional coronary artery disease, and it also tends to cluster together with other known risk factors like smoking, a fatty diet and lack of exercise.

"This hits close to home," said Abraham, "because these were otherwise healthy people."
Everyday Stress Management Is Key

Dr. Noel Bairey-Merz, medical director of the Women's Health Program at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, says "prevention is the key with heart health."

She advises that along with eating a healthy diet, exercising and not smoking, people should incorporate some form of stress management like yoga or meditation into a daily routine.

"Stress management can alter nerve endings to the heart in a beneficial way," said Bairey-Merz, adding that people who have outlets are better conditioned to handle a sudden stressful situation.

Emotional stress is practically unavoidable in everyday life, and experts generally agree it would be unrealistic to advise patients not to feel stress when they are facing a loved one's death or an emergency.

But Abraham advises, "Everything in moderation, including stress."

Bairey-Merz emphasizes that a regular stress management regimen is "like driving in your car with the seatbelt and airbags." Though there is no way to predict who will suffer temporary heart damage related to a stressful event, a stress management system is there in case a heartbreak does arise.

Ok the best comment in the next few weeks wins dinner with Garvald and I know she and the ocassional redneck read this

The least that I could write is a sentence or 2 before I'm off to Mike's to meet heartbreakers and heartbreakee's drowning in free beer and a drugged state of momentary euphoria with the low of a hangover to start the next week of more melancholia or just mundanity?? It's Saturday the 12th and I'm gonna visit Cicis for my one sqaure meal of the day!

Today is a gorgeous day but a bit windy so I walked Buffy to the playground by the school. By coincidence, Buffy came from a litter of five and there was a mother with a litter of 4 girls and the youngest is a boy. Buffy has 3 sisters and one younger brother also!
The kids were all so eager to play with my sweet little wookie...

I guess, I will walk to the Chinese Buffet since each day gets warmer and I want to absorb her as much as possible!
It is nice to have a nice Sunday without guilt for laziness, :)

Bush is a bastard or sinful lethargy?

I'm not sure which essay title for this decidedly very lazy gorgeous taste of the future spring frolicking in my back yard with Buffy the Psychic Vampire! But I'm listening to NPR!

I'm listening to Bush telling folks that he will take care of older folks but he doesn't give a shit and that makes me mad...the American people are being screwed with a strategy exactly the way Lenin took control of the people in communist Russia after removing the imperialist Czar's regime!

Barbara Boxner(?) is such a cool radical liberal! She really tellls it like it is about the right wing agenda that was set up in the early 80s with Reagan and Bush Sr.

I'm gonna go outside and get a little more sun in my windprotected backyar
while I play with Buffy...I love this very erotic warmth given by the sun while my little baby rolls lazily around in the sun and then actually cooling off in a very slovenly and lascivious fashion...wishing Muffy was to experience some "sky rockets in Flight"....Had to call her just to hear her sexy intelligent feminist voice and tell her about Barb Boxner on NPR...

it's nice to hear her salacious voice confirming our left wing views in these overzealously right wing fundamentalist red states.... We don't believe that Jesus wanted the right to bear an oozi! We don't!
I thought you might like this new word, Muffy and I'm not belittling you!Pronunciation: s&-'lA-sh&s
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin salac-, salax, from salire to move spasmodically, leap —more at SALLY
Date: circa 1645
1 : arousing or appealing to sexual desire or imagination : LASCIVIOUS
- sa·la·cious·ly adverb
- sa·la·cious·ness n

So I made it a point to not feel guilty about being lazy ...sometimes I know that I am missing out on so many things in life but I want to just notice a beatifully warm day in the backyard just wishing that my lover was with me to go for the walk with Buffy in the neighborhood..of course she wouldn't like me starting a conversation with one of the attractive mothers and to the delight of their own little infants petting Buffy in glee!

With all these beautiful days, I get up too late to really absorb the whole day...I hang out and then feel paralyzed ....yes I know, Muffy, you've heard this song too much...

Now I'm missing my favorite book, The Artist's Way, after inviting a group of nice people in their early tweens to speak with the Gods, after leaving Pearls on the coast of Lake Hefner. Even though, I'm missing the book, (I know how my own forgetfulness blends into the easy kleptomania of others...and she's would chew my ear out over my blaming others when I lose things...but I searched all over my car and distinctly remember showing them all the book...

I love the way smoking the peace pipe among new friends is a great way to reach or tap into the same thought pattern of world peace or something grand!

I almost censor talking about the wonderful canabized feeling when you are all many smoke in this state even though we are 2/3 redneck. I believe that it is available in most rural towns from Naples, New York nestling along the valleys and hills formed by the retreating glaciers of upstate New York,to middle America for both rednecks and trailer trash to momentarily lift themselves above the mundanity of their lives.

I have travelled alot and love finding folks all over our country sharing the peace pipe. In Naples, the home of good Finger Lakes wine, we all sat on the porch of the turn of the century hotel without any fear of the local officers of the peace. There was a local pub inside and I splurged spending maybe 80$ for a night there while making friends with the natives. Afterwards I developed a nice platonic relationship with a free spirit for a couple of days enjoying her sweet hospitality and absorbing the vibes of this friendly hippy town.

Now its February 11th, 2005 and recording another Friday soon to be extinct in a few hours. I have tasted the warmth of a day promising spring, like the taste of a lover that I have missed for so long...I feel her warmth over my face as she caresses me and know that she will always be there....we were part of her

out of her came the earth and our whole collective conciousness recycled over and over....
sharing the same water that Julius Caesar and Cleopatra tasted
the same drops that George the Gerbil pissed

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Fat Tuesday

It's here now and it's raining...Instead of travelling and really doing all the things that I want to do...I still feel the paralysis even with the addaboy..Maybe I ought to go easy on the stuff because it does cause one to perseverate on silly depressing things

like where the hell my life is going??...
how time is flying by more rapidly ...
Am I just noticing this thought that was brought up by Einstein?...
obsessing over maybe's and what ifs, the guaranteed prescription for depression ...
life is so full of these...
I realize that my own conscience is far worse than any friend or enemy...

the fact that the puppy affected your whole day and you just make a concience choice of being lazy...
and you feel so guilty about another day passing ....
of you being the youngest that you will be for the rest of your life...
you know that there are so many places to see while you have the ability to do so...
why mope over previous happiness?..
you worry that you never will be as happy again...

the rains comes in strong and then the painful hail storming you with very hard tears from heaven...but then you often so feel so much better when you have a good hard cry as a release...but it's so nice for your soulmate to be with you to feel your tears too...

you want to be caressed to know that everything will be alright as you listen to the blues of New Orleans...the music hits your ear lobes with the comfort that others survive the blues...and the music goes on

Monday, February 07, 2005


Alene was diagnosed by the coroner with pericariditis a couple of months after she went to the other side. It is 10 years and a little over a months since she had passed out in our bedroom. We were watching an episode of the "Simpsons" where Lisa develops puppy love for her substitute teacher that had a voice that might have been Dustin Hoffman's (sounded like it)...

Then she went to our bedroom to take care of bills and closed the door while I continued watching CNN ..
Her mother, who had been living with us for the past 13 years , knocked on the bedroom door while I was sitting in the living room. When she opened the door she told me to come over and I knew that by her voice it was something very serious and there she was passed out by our king sized bed with vomit and all the bills all around her...I tried to revive her and I thought that she had choked on something and not realizing that the vomit often happens after a heart attack

Doris, her mother was talking to 911 while I was trying to rescuscitate her and didn't think to try CPR...the parameds came and could not revive her...
I was upset that they wouldn't let me go in the ambulance with her to Mercy Hospital and that they wouldn't let me spend time wih her alone while she laying there dead in the hospital bed...We waited in the waiting room a couple of hours to see if the hospital could do anything but I knew that there wasn't any hope..
Then she went to our bedroom to take care of bills and closed the door while I continued watching CNN ..

Her mother, who had been living with us the past 13 years , knocked on the bedroom door while I was sitting in the living room. When she opened the door she told me to come over and I knew that by her voice it was something very serious and there she was passed out with vomit with the bills all around her...I tried to revive her and I thought that she had choked on something and not realizing that the vomit often happens after a heart attack

Doris, her mother was talking to 911 while I was trying to rescuscitate her and didn't think to try CPR...the parameds came and could not revive her...

I was upset that they wouldn't let me go in the ambulance with her to Mercy Hospital and that they wouldn't let me spend time with her alone while she laying there dead in the hospital bed...We waited to see if the hospital could do anything but I knew that there wasn't any hope

Since then as a survivor, we feels guilt and then try to learn to live each day one day at a time being good to ourselves in order to slowly heal, but we always have the scars ....I was happy to get into doing my student teaching...they helped so much because I had a purpose every day to teach these freshman biology at by coincidence her high school, NW Classen in Okc. She graduated in the same class as Vince Gill.

Since then as a survivor, we feels guilt and then try to learn to live each day one day at a time being good to ourselves in order to slowly heal, but we always have the scars ....I was happy to get into doing my student teaching...they helped so much because I had a purpose every day to teach these freshman biology at by coincidence her high school, NW Classen in Okc. She graduated in the same class as Vince Gill.

It's a coincidence that his birthday is the same as my father...Dad will 100 in 11 years and I'll be 60...I'm realizing all these moments are few and I have to start absorbing them before I'm 100 and about to see my loved ones...if there is such a place?...maybe they are all up there or down here laughing with us or at us as we
evolve or devolve into this species that has to figure out how to get along in ever confining spaces and subdivisions (don't get me started about suburban sprawl with the local golden arches representing the temples of American obesity being built to accomodate the fattened lemmings) ...will be continued


What is pericarditis?
Pericarditis is inflammation of the pericardium, the thin sac (membrane) that surrounds the heart and the roots of the great vessels. There is a small amount of fluid between the inner and outer layers of the pericardium. When the pericardium becomes inflamed, the amount of fluid between its two layers increases, compressing the heart and interfering with its ability to function properly.

Symptoms of pericarditis:

chest pain that:
can especially be felt behind the breastbone, sometimes spreading to the neck and left shoulder
is a sharp, piercing pain over the center or left side of the chest that increases if the person takes a deep breath
a low-grade fever
pain when swallowing
What causes pericarditis?
Usually, the cause of pericarditis is unknown, but may include:

a viral, bacterial or fungal infection
heart attack
cancer spreading from a nearby tumor in the lung, breast or the blood
sometimes it may be a secondary symptom of rheumatoid arthritis, lupus (systemic lupus erythematosus), or kidney failure
How is pericarditis treated?
Analgesics or anti-inflammatory drugs can be given to relieve pain. When excess fluid seriously affects the heart's action, it may be drawn off with a needle. In some cases, surgery may be required.

Acute inflammatory pericarditis usually lasts two to six weeks. About 20 percent of pericarditis patients have a recurrence within months or, sometimes, years later. Each recurrence tends to be less severe until the episodes finally stop.

Happy Birthday, Dad, Charles and Horacio!

Dad has done so much and so has Charles. Dad is 89 and Charles is 56! I will go into more detail after a long sleep. I have so much to do. I was crying after talking to Dad thinking that I don't want to lose him for another 11 years! I was hoping for a little tea and sympathy from Muffy but she was involved in a TV movie.

I can understand her situation when she doesn't have the time to feel sorry for herself when she has to bring up a family! She doesn't know how to help the situation as far as my own limbo. She wonders why I have not left this state. I don't know. This is my only home for right now :(

Dad isn't eager to see me unless I go "Down Under" with Muffy. Ron says that I need major medical and he is right. That will be thing to do when I wake up with Buffy yapping and whining in her fecal matter. She is in the kennel while I sleep so I don't have to look out for scheisse every where!

. I hate shit and I've been stepping in it. How can I ever be a father if I can't keep up with the shit and piss trying to house train this little wookie bitch. (ooh, now I sound so cruel but she gives me unconditional love that I only from Alene and Mom of course). It will be nice when she's house trained. Maybe I ought to have a box of litter for her to use when she's in the house and reward her with bacon bits or puppy chow soaked in bacon grease when she shits or pisses in the litter box!

Charles and Karen gave me such a nice book on raising a puppy with a place for her journal. (ie. "I stepped in her shit in the kitchen with my white sock as I felt something wet and soft underneath my foot. I had dragged and spread it all over the carpet until finally realizing I was In doo doo when the white sock with the excrement attached to it reached the carpetless hallway. I was wondering the best way to clean it all off without leaving any smell. Buy some alcohol to clean!").

I have never had to do so much cleaning in a long time . There would be no way I could be a house husband until the babies were off diapers.)
" You can't teach an old dog new tricks!"

Sometimes, I wonder what have I got myself into?
I have to remember that Buffy is a potential babe magnet when I take her to Hefner park on a sunny day! Hey that might lift me out of the doldrums after the reality checks from my father, my older brother and Muffy!
Another reason for her is when I feel lonely, Buffy will give me love so I won't have to be unfaithful and feel the need to give into temptation.
But Mike's was so full of sinful young temptations this weekend. Don't worry, Muffy!

It's a year later, February 7th, 06

My good friends in Serendipachi, Eliazar and Monica have a mischievous 2 year old born on the same day as my father and my good friend and neighbor, Charles. I had a good chat with Dad and he has 12 guests for his 90th birthday!
Right now, I'm struggling with my teaching as I seem to do almost every year, another ground hog year but I am praying that chess and my desire to help these children will motivate me to be here another year. The paranoia takes hold as I'm afraid that I can't keep up with everything and I worry that the powers that be don't want me to stay. I am happy that my assistant likes me and is loyal to me.

I thought that I would put this article about past life regression because I still hope that she is out there waiting for me and maybe when I find happiness she will be there.

past life regression
Past life regression (PLR) is the alleged journeying into one's past lives while hypnotized. While it is true that many patients recall past lives, it is highly probable that their memories are false memories. The memories are from experiences in this life, pure products of the imagination, intentional or unintentional suggestions from the hypnotist, or confabulations.

Some New Age therapists do PLR therapy under the guise of personal growth; others under the guise of healing. As a tool for New Age explorers, there may be little harm in encouraging people to remember what are probably false memories about their living in earlier centuries or for encouraging them to go forward in time and glimpse into the future. But as a method of healing, it must be apparent even to the most superficial of therapists that there are great dangers in encouraging patients to create delusions. Some false memories may be harmless, but others can be devastating. They can increase a person's suffering, as well as destroy loving relationships with family members. The care with which hypnosis should be used seems obvious.

Some therapists think hypnosis opens a window to the unconscious mind where memories of past lives are stored. How memories of past lives get into the unconscious mind of a person is not known, but advocates loosely adhere to a doctrine of reincarnation, even though such a doctrine does not require a belief in the unconscious mind as a reservoir of memories of past lives.

PLR therapists claim that past life regression is essential to healing and helping their patients. Some therapists claim that past life therapy can help even those who don't believe in past lives. The practice is given undeserved credibility because of the credentials of some of its leading advocates, e.g., Brian L. Weiss, M.D., who is a graduate of Columbia University and Yale Medical School and Chairman Emeritus of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami. There are no medical internships in PLR therapy, nor does being a medical doctor grant one special authority in metaphysics, the occult or the supernatural.

reincarnation and PLR

Psychologist Robert Baker demonstrated that belief in reincarnation is the greatest predictor of whether a subject would have a past-life memory while under past life regression hypnotherapy. Furthermore, Baker demonstrated that the subject's expectations significantly affect the past-life regressive session. He divided a group of 60 students into three groups. He told the first group that they were about to experience an exciting new therapy that could help them uncover their past lives. Eighty-five per cent in this group were successful in "remembering" a past life. He told the second group that they were to learn about a therapy which may or may not work to engender past-life memories. In this group, the success rate was 60%. He told the third group that the therapy was crazy and that normal people generally do not experience a past life. Only 10% of this group had a past-life "memory."

There are at least two attractive features of past life regression. Since therapists charge by the hour, the need to explore centuries instead of years will greatly extend the length of time a patient will need to be "treated," thereby increasing the cost of therapy. Secondly, the therapist and patient can usually speculate wildly without much fear of being contradicted by the facts. However, this can backfire if anyone bothers to investigate the matter, as in the case of Bridey Murphy, the case that started this craze in 1952.

See also cryptomnesia, Bridey Murphy, dianetics, channeling, hypnosis

Friday, February 04, 2005

"Denounce the pacifist for lack of patriotism".... Did someone say that today or yesterday?

Herman Goering said it at the Nurenberg! That quote almost would sound like it was a typical statement Hannity or the other asshole, O'Reilly. Both are serious members of the Neonazi party's propaganda department, Fox News.
The world is only 50 years years after the holocaust and the persecution and attempted genocide of a group of very smart folks that thought and believed differently than the mainstream citizens. The government was afraid of any sect that would think differently that anyone that might hinder mass fervent patriotism.

Seriously folks, I would love to chat with you "but there are drinks and sheilas all over Okc and I've got just a few more hours to track em down"
(Garvald's aussie version of Eliza Dolittle's philosopher street bum father who becomes rich and famous writing his hedonistic philosophies!)

Today is so gorgeous that I am almost giddy with the bloomin spring spirit
and be teased into falling in love with the day
then she bombards me with her frigidity!

So I was about to drive off to Bricktown and the Brewery but then I was sidetracked as others with my traits easily go off the main course or main highway. The sun was less than 20 minutes from setting and I felt the urge to go out with the hood down. The temperature might have reached sixty today. I almost live to go for a walk especially when the temperature reachers 60. So instead of taking off for titillation and most often boredom being around young testosterone with little chance of good conversation.
Instead, I walked across the street to try out a pup for a night. The sister of Karen, Charles' wife, was visiting trying to give away her 5 puppies.

I decided to check out the only male puppy. He was second in the pecking order to the cute and warm "Chewbacca" (how does that sound or should I call her one those other dog like animals in "Star Wars? "It all depends on whether I can handle the responsibility!)

I just bonded with "Garvald" and then Karen's sister came over to let me try out this cute little blonde bitch for a roomate? That will be cute when I tell Muffy that I have a female companion/roommate tonight!

Well, I'm tired. I feel pretty good sans the adderall. It was almost like I woke up intent on drowning out negative feelings! I also made a phone call to the man in charge of Henry Hudson's about getting kicked out for belittling the bartender several months ago.

So overall, today was definitely in one of the top ten percent of good days in this red state!

Sunday 3:20 am

Overall, today finished well with a very lethargic lull after being woken up by little whimpers by "Buffy"...she is blonde, cuddly and and an alpha female bitch! I am starting to fall for her ...It's so nice to feel unconditional love again...I have actually never had a dog for my own. Penny adopted a nice well behaved mutt while living with me and the pagan girl brought Roscoe, a rottweiler, to live with us. Both dog were sneaky poopers...walking on it in the closet long after the act. I think sometimes, the male dogs were jealous of the relationship just like a daughter feels that her attention is divided. What do you think?

I am starting to feel very tired now after a 2nd wind to go out again to Mike's after chatting with Muff about my new female roommate. She at first took me seriously but then I gave hints that my new female love is an underage canine bitch.

I thought that maybe God was telling me if you have ever any thought of becoming a father you need to at least see if you can take care of this half parfey, half bastard (chow?) Muff said that maybe this might be able to get in better with her animated (full of animosity or animosated?) daughter. I did not take a trip up to KC for her sister's birthday because the young adolescent animator put up a fit.

Well I'm tired...I'm gonna fall asleep to some DVD,,,,I will continue this and hopefully I won't have any depression since I've been doing the St. John'swort the last 2 days??? We'll see...

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Groundhog Day

I was going to make this post into a literary event... kind of in the same vein as Bill Murray repeating each day until he finally gets it right. When he gets it right he gets the girl.

There I was in Galileo's waiting to read some old love poems for the open poetry night. I sat at the bar and ordered the vegetarian pizza with bacon bits. They did it the way I asked but it was no better than the pizzas they make for me at Cici's.

So I saw this attractive lady sitting at the bar gulping down shots. We would occasionally exchange glances as if she was trying to figure out where we had seen each other. I sensed the negative vibes of a venamous but curious female cobra(like the beautiful looking snake that bit Cleopatra after her affair with Richard Burton). She aproached me after about an hour with the question. After I started talking to her I realized that she was the heartless date that had been amused with me a couple of years ago, laughing at me thinking I was way out of her league. She obviously felt differently this time catching her looking into the portals of my own soul so deeply so she could find out my achilles heal and then bite into it mercilessly. She found a way to throw the barbs until she tired of the game, the way a cat plays with a mouse before she eats the toy.

She told me that on the date, I was acting like she was interupting my day and that I was dressed like a slob.
It was amazing seeing her and reliving that disastrous date almost like I was in an episode of blind date where the woman trashes the poor bloke with low self esteem. She said that the only good thing about the date was the kiss. She momentarily showed a sign of vulnerability, not disguising her apetite for another good kiss as a sly wanton smile crossed her lips.

She wanted to be toyingly bitchy with me tonight and I told her that I was used to dealing with bitchy women. Tonight, she amused me with her cavalier attitude to men. She was putting herself on some sort of high horse while she slugged down the shots of something one right after another... obviously showing something deeply lacking in her own life as she accelerates the journey toward it's inevitability

Here was a woman aproaching mid-life fast but her ego wants to still know that she can have a power over a man with her beauty. I told her that some women are very effective at using their power of knowing to how to manipulate a man to get what they want. She had a very big diamond ring on her finger. (maybe from some previous conquest with the carcass trashed along the highway of her life)

I was not attracted to her except in a superficial sort of way ...
I do not fall for shallow ladies with little depth.... But they are an intriguing species of woman along with Lady Macbeth, Lucretia Borgia, and of course don't let me leave out Barbara and Laura Bush. Some folks can drain other people's souls taking everything they can from the victims. Rationalizing her behavior, she throws them away with no remorse or even a conscience (What was was going through the mind of the teenage Laura Bush when she ran over her boyfriend? Or does she have a conscience and relive that moment in her mind causing the glazed over look with the Stepford smile when she's interviewed?) . Have you heard of pysychic vampires?

Then there are women with depth. Muffy loves to read and expand her horizons. I love the way she devours a book like the "First Ladies".

Well, I'm going to finally go to sleep while watching bits of the movie, "Angela's Ashes". It is such a great book and I love the way Frank McCourt puts words together so beautifully the way other Irish authors use words so well. I thought of Ulysees where James Joyce explores love.

McCourt goes so beautifully into his own childhood. I need to do the same about my own childhood in the same way. Sometimes I'm amazed how something can be put together into a book thinking that it is some monumental miraculous task. I know it can be done. I think of the way my ex gf, Millicent, finally wrote and rewrote her book until it was right to be published. I was so flattered that she said that I inspired her to write it in the third person. This helped her to deal with the most traumatic situations of her abuse physically and emotionally by her parents, both mother and stepfather. I believe it also gave her the courage to also let it be published still fearing reprisals from her parents.

Now she is happily married to a fireman :(. I haven't heard from her in a long while. Oh well. She is a wonderful woman and happy that I helped her a little bit and she also helped me find out more about who I am. Her life is blossoming now. She is seeing the fruits of her passion and her very hard work.

Muffy has so much inborn talent and depth that she doesn't realize. It is so hard for a single woman to bring up a family by herself without any help....all on her own...but children can take away all her energy so she doesn't have a chance to see her own talents bloom.

I could see that when her kids are grown up how she can put herself through medical school or be on a campaign helping the next president, especially if it be might be John Kerry or Hillary Clinton.

Well, I'm going to make it a point today to not feel guilty and do a lot of reading. I'm hoping that it will be sunny so I can a find a warm spot to read probably in my car with the top off....mmmmm....sun :) south???...just do something Garvald!

Oh yeah, maybe I'll make an audition tape for the show, "The Aprentice"
I will say that they need a creative maverick like me to keep the stepford stiffs in corporate America on their toes! It has to be 60 seconds and I have to give it to channel 4 by Friday as the show will be doing some auditions here in OKC, the cultural hub of the universe! I have nothing to lose except pride. I already lost that at Lumpy's or Hudstones!

I know Muffy, good night!

Thursday, February 4th

Now actually, I am feeling like the way the dangerously pretty lady was soon to have the humility of middle age, described the way I was dressed,
"slovenly". (But she liked the sandals that I had on verses the old pair that she might have seen 2 years ago. Muffy has good taste for shoes, clothes and good looking bald middle aged men).

Charles was interupted from our walk by the chairman for some "coffee".
Unfortunately, he was feeling very tired after the coffee so he wasn't up for a walk. He was kind enough to listen to me unload about my life sharing a couple of Tecates. We leaned against his truck absorbing the gorgeous day. I was sad that I just didn't go ahead and go for a long walk in the sun.
A sunny day can bring you out of the doldrums so much sometimes. So Charles took a nap and I actually felt like doing that too, but I had a little adderall so I made some phone calls. I feel good that I finally called the police asking about the report that I had made in the summer. The officer was much more helpful. Then I called the owner of Lumpy's and he said to go ahead and sue him. The bartender and everyone witnessing was friends with the perpetrator or the staff, so they all gave written statements to discredit me. The one bartender, who I thought was my friend, said that he did not see it. I don't know how anyone could have missed a big guy like me being body slammed. This was violence by a bloke that had been kicked out of anger management classes for threatening the teacher according to Nan. I had heard that he had been kicked out of lumpy's and numerous other places for assault. Then when I got him off of me and stated that I was filing charges, the bartender on steroids slammed me.

I guess that I have no choice other than to take it to the next step. It would be nice if the establishment and the attackers pay the bill. I will need to at least talk to a lawyer and maybe write a letter to the paper about needless violence by patrons and staff in Oklahoma pubs, especially on these drown nights with young testosterones totally intoxicated and wanting to pick fights to show their manhood. It also bothers me that the police that came too late to catch him, especially when he was trying to run me over in the parking lot while I was talking to them,
wouldn't let me file a report because I had been drinking (2 beers).
They also listened to the bartender who was also attacked me and believed his and the crowd that wanted the favor the Schwarzanegger wannabee.

It could make a great news story! Maybe this would be my 15 minutes of fame.


I hope you realize that I am adding humor to something that is serious, violence.
All this post traumatic stress, reliving one of many shitty moments in the comedy of errors called my life :(, is wearing me out and making me just want to take a nap... it's only 10:30....well maybe I will catch you all later...

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Ned Flanders has a spot reserved for him in the Bush Administration and will be chairman of the biblical half time show for the Superbowl!

Homer's next-door neighbor, Ned Flanders _ a highly valued member of `The Simpsons'
FRAZIER MOORE, AP Television Writer

Tuesday, February 1, 2005

(02-01) 14:43 PST NEW YORK (AP) --

Good heavens! Ned Flanders has come into his own.

A zealous instrument of God, Ned has long been instrumental to "The Simpsons" as it lampoons organized religion (that is, when not mocking virtually every other human institution, from business to democracy to its own TV network).

But lately the ground has shifted beneath the Simpsons' hometown of Springfield, U.S.A., along with the rest of the nation. The new term has begun for a president whose re-election was clinched by the "moral values" ballyhoo. The current climate finds faith synonymous with patriotism, while "secular" is code for un-American.

Before on "The Simpsons," Ned was a secondary figure -- Homer's cloyingly pious next-door neighbor. But the values he embodies in exaggerated form now monopolize the political scene. In fact, one might say that Homer is Ned's next-door neighbor, not the other way around, so clearly does Ned bask in the mainstream.

"The values he represents have become more visible in American life," agrees "Simpsons" executive producer Al Jean, "as people who maybe are outward advocates of Ned's values have come into positions of power. We always satirize who's in power and what the cultural zeitgeist is, so currently the point of view Ned has is a little more ripe for satire."

Ned stands front and center in Sunday's edition of "The Simpsons" when, in an unlikely collaboration with Homer, he co-produces the Super Bowl halftime show as (what else?) a biblical pageant. Homer portrays Noah. The stadium is flooded from a Duff's Beer blimp. Ned preaches the Word. Take that, Janet Jackson.

(The episode follows Fox's real-life Super Bowl telecast, except in the Pacific time zone, where it airs at 7 p.m.)

Ned answers the call of show biz after seeing a sex-aid commercial for seniors and declaring, "There's nothing but filth on TV." He seizes his camcorder and films a backyard biblical drama: a bloody re-creation of the story of Cain and Abel, with his two young sons in the starring roles.

Homer's wife, Marge, is troubled by Ned's "Passion of the Christ"-inspired antics. "There's more to the Bible than blood and gore," she says.

But Ned (voiced by Harry Shearer) sneers in response, "I guess you'd rather see a film about a liberal European wizard school. Or the latest sexcapade of Miss Ashley Judd."

Ned's cinematic crusade fizzles when money man Mr. Burns withdraws his backing. But a panic-stricken Homer -- who was hired to create the Super Bowl show, then can't think of anything to do -- desperately needs Ned to help him.

"Maybe," says Ned, thrilled to get this globe-spanning pulpit, "God brought us together for a reason."

Whatever the reason, Ned has been a holier-than-thou thorn in Homer's side since the very first episode of "The Simpsons" in 1989, when Ned decorated his house with a dazzling array of Christmas lights.

"Too bright," pouted Homer, embarrassed by his own house's shabby display.

Homer still feels bedeviled by Ned's goody-two-shoes style, his glossy cheer, his habit of injecting "diddly" into things he says, like his chipper greeting, "Hi-diddly-do!"

In a startling admission, Ned once disclosed that he was 60 years old, then attributed his youthful appearance to "the three C's: clean living, chewing thoroughly and a daily dose of `vitamin church'."

Mighty easy to see why Homer would say, "I don't care if Ned Flanders is the nicest guy in the world -- he's a jerk!"

Of course, Homer knows jerks from the inside out. For 16 seasons of "The Simpsons," he has been a champion jerk -- lazy, dimwitted and irresponsible. His chief pleasures are beer, snacks and endless hours of TV while planted on the couch. He reigns as the flawed secular Everyman.

"I think Homer is a pretty bad guy in a lot of ways," says Jean, who helps shape his personality, and adds, "The writers like Ned as a person better than Homer."

But Ned's faith-based deficiencies serve "The Simpsons" well as a Homer counterbalance. Spiritually in bondage, Ned is a model of righteousness gone wrong.

He must surely have been shocked to behold (or, more likely, learn about second-hand) Janet Jackson's flash dance during Super Bowl XXXVIII, and definitely would have supported the anti-media backlash. Like he says, "There's nothing but filth on TV."

But how to explain why his squeaky-clean extravaganza flops with the public?

"All over America today," reports newsman Kent Brockman, "viewers were outraged by the Super Bowl halftime show's blatant display of religion and decency."

This can only be a temporary setback. These days, Ned represents the nation's ruling point of view. And what of citizens who beg to differ with it? Thank heaven "The Simpsons," at least, still guarantees them a laugh.

On the Net:

EDITOR'S NOTE -- Frazier Moore can be reached at fmoore(at)

By the way, who's watching Dubya's state of depression speech?

When will I be "Delivered from Distraction"

Thank you, Soliloqy, for the tag. I was glad that I was able to give you more insight to your husband's behavior. It sounds like you are patient and want to help if you have been reading books about it. Have you read books about ADD and relationships?

Delivered from Distraction (Hardcover)
Getting the Most Out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder
Author: John J. Ratey M.D.
Our Price:$18.06 Retail: $25.95 You Save: $7.89! (30%)
2024 In Stock!
Part Number: 034544230XBT--Release: 01/04/2005

-- Notes:
Dr. Edward M. Hallowell is considered one of the top experts on Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). His ground-breaking 1994 book DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION--a diagnostic list of characteristics identifying what was then a relatively unknown condition--is on virtually every list of essential works in the field. In DELIVERED FROM DISTRACTION, Dr. Hallowell updates and adds to his earlier work, synthesizes current research, and focuses again on not merely how to live with ADD but how to live well, including tips on how to reduce procrastination, boost self-esteem, and relate better to others. Long bothered by a feeling that "something is wrong with me," those who have ADD are now viewed by professionals as having a constellation of traits that simply need to be recognized, acknowledged, and then dealt with.

Other Notes:
In 1994, Driven to Distraction sparked a revolution in our understanding of attention deficit disorder. Widely recognized as the classic in the field, the book has sold more than a million copies. Now a second revolution is under way in the approach to ADD, and the news is great. Drug therapies, our understanding of the role of diet and exercise, even the way we define the disorder–all are changing radically. And doctors are realizing that millions of adults suffer from this condition, though the vast majority of them remain undiagnosed and untreated. In this new book, Drs. Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey build on the breakthroughs of Driven to Distraction to offer a comprehensive and entirely up-to-date guide to living a successful life with ADD.

As Hallowell and Ratey point out, “attention deficit disorder” is a highly misleading description of an intriguing kind of mind. Original, charismatic, energetic, often brilliant, people with ADD have extraordinary talents and gifts embedded in their highly charged but easily distracted minds. Tailored expressly to ADD learning styles and attention spans, Delivered from Distraction provides accessible, engaging discussions of every aspect of the condition, from diagnosis to finding the proper treatment regime. Inside you’ll discover

• whether ADD runs in families
• new diagnostic procedures, tests, and evaluations
• the links between ADD and other conditions
• how people with ADD can free up their inner talents and strengths
• the new drugs and how they work, and why they’re not for everyone
• exciting advances in nonpharmaceutical therapies, including changes in diet, exercise, and lifestyle
• how to adapt the classic twelve-step program to treat ADD
• sexual problems associated with ADD and how to resolve them
• strategies for dealing with procrastination, clutter, and chronic forgetfulness

ADD is a trait, a way of living in the world. It only becomes a disorder when it impairs your life. Featuring gripping profiles of patients with ADD who have triumphed, Delivered from Distraction is a wise, loving guide to releasing the positive energy that all people with ADD hold inside. If you have ADD or care about someone who does, this is the book you must read.

Other books by John J. Ratey M.D.:
--Driven to Distraction (Reprint Paperback)
--Driven to Distraction (Abridged Audio Cassette)
--Answers to Distraction (Abridged Audio Cassette)
--Shadow Syndromes (Reprint Paperback)
--Answers to Distraction (Paperback)
--A User's Guide to the Brain (1st Ed.) (Illustrated Paperback)
--Driven to Distraction (Abridged Compact Disc)
--Shadow Syndromes (Hardcover)
--Delivered From Distraction (Hardcover)
--Delivered From Distraction (Abridged Audio Cassette)
--Delivered From Distraction (Abridged Compact Disc)
--Tda (Paperback)

I understand my own condition, but still I often let it take me over. The meds are expensive when you don't have medical coverage, so I often am reluctant to take the stimulant and just have a couple cups of coffee. When I do take it, I just break open the capsule to have some of the little time released pills. I know that doctors would frown on self medicating that way, but this way I can make a prescription last for several month. I do not feel addicted to them or I would feel like I needed to take them everyday like cigarette smokers have to have nicotine first thing in the morning. It is amazing how much more I am motivated to make those phone calls that I keep putting off or cleaning the house. It seems like I don't really act until I'm forced to do it when the impending deadline is an hour away!