Saturday, January 01, 2005

Happy New Year!

Ten years ago, yesterday, Alene passed away. I miss her and realized how I took for granted someone that loved me so much.

It's important that I get the most out of this year and really do the things that I want accomplished. I have wasted a lot of time in frivolities when I could be writing and pursuing knowledge for this collective conciousness.

I will get a laptop so that I can go anywhere and write to you. Lately there have not been many hits. It's important that I'm always writing and developing connections. I will get a camcorder so that I can always record moments in time with important connections such as my conversation with Dave and then be able to put it on my website. I spoke with Chilicothe Dave (of KC drinker's fame) last night and bought him a few beers before heading to dance at Blaney's. The owner, Dick, does not have much personality, upset that I would ask for water saying this is a bar and you don't ask for water.
I had already paid 10$ cover and 2$ for coffee to sober up. I had been drinking beer for happy hour at the Buzzard Beach.

Yesterday was such a gorgeous warm day to finish 2004, an overall piss poor year with everything from politics to my career limbo and state of uncertainty.
I absorbed as much of the sun as I could sitting outside in Muffy's warm patio being consoled over Alene's life being cut short. It is good to have a cry. There is a purpose still for me and I have to figure out the best way to do it and express it while continuing to improve as a person and in character.

I will continue on with my resolutions later....

Jan. 2, 1044 AM:

I never know when the tidal wave will hit, but it's usually in the middle of the night when I'm sleeping on my back. The snoring wakes her up and I hear her screaming at me. I try to adjust the blanket or sheets and the volume of the wave continues to get louder . There is no way to avoid the wave. You think everything is calm and BOOM!
"Get out of my house by High Noon!"

You can't go back to sleep and so you go downstairs to have a Kava Kava. Earlier in the evening, you have the best lovemaking and you think everything is hunky-dory. Your naivete about the female species easily misleads you. She yells as she walks off to go sleep in her empty daughter's bed.

He grumbles and waits for the herb to mellow him to surf these emotionally disturbed waves of trauma before he dreams.

Muffy is apologetic in the AM but not really.

"Why do all men snore?" .....

Now its 1:30Pm

"Chop, chop" she yells waiting for him to leave, "But Garvald, don't you want to finish up your essay."

He realizes that time is fleeting and he only has a few minutes to show everyone that the trip finished on a good note. Both he and Muffy have hope for the world in 2005. There is so much work to be done. If only he could borrow her mental will power to take care of business. It had to be done in order for her to survive as a single mother her two girls. She thought of the women that he was with and how he evolved into the lover that she fell in love with. He could see her lust turn into love as these little Garvaldian moments made her think of him often as soon as she kicked him out of her cave in KC.

"What were they like compared to me as far as body, spirit and soul?" she wondered as she found a new drug,this way of being her aphrodisiac. The way he pleased her and she pleased him always made the love better than before.

She had been in his life for the last year and a half after his impulsive move on the way back from visiting his author masseuse in Chicago about 18 months ago August first. Muffy fell in love with his nerdy ways and the way he often amused her with his bizarre humor and ADD craziness. It was hard for her to find a man as intelligent as him but he often tried her patience and hit her buttons enough to create her tsunamic mood changes and resulting total devastation of his spirit. ... so his only survival from the devastated beach of tidal emptiness was Kava Kava.

(WOW! I've only had a few hits but basically for right now, Garvald will be on his road trip with good Karmic feelings between him and his lovvver. adios Muchachos, meinen Freunden ....Happy New Year!)

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