Saturday, January 29, 2005

How is our Bipolar Saloon doing?

Now that I have the convenience of the computer in my house, I don't feel the need to go to the library. So it gives me the chance to be more of a bum or recluse. The depression of being alone was alleviated by just stopping off at Mike's pub. It was a serendipitous occasion feeling the positive vibes of most of the young folks and of course babes that momentarily exchange glances.

I hope that this doesn't sound naricissistic but for some reason I seem to attract more looks from the ladies that I used to think were out of my league. I would like to get the opinion from other ladies to know better. What do you think Muffy? She is rolling her eyes>'

Bottom line it was an enjoyable evening seeing friends that I had met earlier in the year, Mike and Emily. I was introduced to their friend, Frank. Mike is really good with computers, photographs, and graphics. We hopefully will be getting together on setting up the website to do even more things. Emily used to be a top tennis player in the state in highschool.

We all went back to my place to "speak with the Gods". I am very proud of having a clean house for the first time since I've lived alone. When they wanted to smoke cigarettes, we went into the garage where there is a nice couch. The previous tenant left a black light in the garage so it gave a really cool feeling and look in the cold. I brought out the space heater to warm the place to a little above freezing.

Now I have visions of making money somehow(??) off my writings and be able to invest in a hot tub!

I will write more about these delusions more after the free beer at Mike's!

Sunday 9:56 am:
Now I will watch Kerry on meet the press!
I'm glad that Kerry and the few Democrats that are left are holding the administration responsible for the war. He is staying on top of what the administration is doing over there. I am excited that he's developing an idea to cover all children with health care.

It's now almost 2 and I'm very bored with everything and where my life is going. I need to set up a real plan.

It was good last night meeting Chuck and Sondra again. We always have good discussions and it's good to have a few friends to have good deep talks with. Sondra had introduced me to the adderall a few summers ago by giving me 2 pills. When I took them, I immediately felt confident and not overwhelmed with things. I took them on alternate days and noticed immediately how others noticed my confidence too getting looks from girls more :) My view of myself was much higher and did not feel bombarded by the usual perseverance of negative self talk. On the day in between, I noticed without it, how my energy level was obviously down, but I felt better psychologically. I had realized a new vision of the way I could function. It was like putting on a pair of glasses after being nearsighted all of your life.

The following day after taking it, I noticed how much more I could fit in the day. I did not feel overwhelmed with mundane chores that needed to be done. But then I still procrastinated on getting medication until last February.

I did not choose to have any adderall today, because I still want to take a nap so I might have the energy to go to the Blues Saloon. I wonder how they will react if I walk into a place that I had been kicked out of 2 years ago?

I wonder if they still hold a grudge for me for just ignoring the bartender when he told me a seat was taken that no one had sat on for 15 minutes. Bartenders/tendresses have a tendency to be control freaks and be on power trips especially if they are small and don't know the definition of the word, "utopia". They then get angry when you don't tip because they never smile and always have an attitude on par with a middle school emotionally disturbed adolescent except with more testerone and steroid induced strength alla Lyle Alsado (God rest his angry steroid tattered soul!).

I think, the one tall, 4 eyed, goofy looking bartender upstairs, John, was always angry with me after I went home with a girl that was a "friend" of his and wished he was getting it instead.
Why should I go there and face angry rednecks but I love to dance so much and I loved the music so much when it helped me lift my mood!

This is basically becoming a journal that maybe one or two readers want to tune into. I suppose you're tired of this boring soap opera.
I'm gonna veggg now watching some DVD's of "Sex and the City" until I fall asleep. Maybe later, I will have the energy to go for a walk and come out of hibernation? I don't feel as guilty being a vegetable in my own cave on Sunday.

I really need to get a plan going whether it is to fly to Australia, go south for what's left of the winter and go "carabout" (walkabout in a car), or substitute in other states or even here??? Just make a plan!

see ya for now

6:40 pm rambling rose , alla Nat King Cole!
The last 20 minutes, I've been listening to him on OETA, all about love, sometimes musicians can capture that feeling so much as hid....

I'm gonna have to get some of his tapes to listen to on long romantic car rides with or without love.....
to get all bleary eyed and verklemmpt;;;

"forever more , that's how you'll stay

that's why darling

you are incredible

she thinks that I am unforgettable too"

I might have messed up on a few words....

So now I'm deciding whether to go eat Chinese on Nw Expressway, where the bartender from the bipolar saloon eats sometimes, or CiCi's pizza??

I deserve it after just walking for a couple of miles in our square mile of expanding subdivisions, having a couple glasses of Mason white wine, and speaking with the gods with my good neighbor, Charles.

until later...

so now its 1:50 pm...Monday paralysis...waking up and thinking about the hangup call from my reality check....knowing that she is almost right unless there is the lottery chance of ever doing it...especially if you have no idea where to go with it...we were talking about the fear of there hardly being anything when you start saving 177$ a month at 34, you might have a retirement income of only 800 a month at 65 :). Depression is thinking about what your life will be really like if you really "retire" at 65 or have to greet the future masses with an old forced smile at the entrance to Walmart. :) ....can I sound anymore depressing than that??

She is right almost right that I haven't even started my book...she does not like this "fantasy' of getting 6 figures for this pie in the sky book....I say that to myself everyday as I find no purpose in this book, no goals...the protagonist has to have goals and be going somewhere ....

life in limbo. life in the doldrums, feeling alone, unfulfilled, not even going through the motions as this year passes by...the week has been hovering above freezing...I have never been more concious of looking out into these bleary January days...knowing that it's my own fault for so many things....I have just taken a lick of adderall and see that my mind is not cluttered but obviously you see that I am still depressed into paralysis from the situation ...

.When I was teaching, I would actually look forward to coming home and just vegetating in front of the tube until narcolepsy took over...and I would start the day, hoping that the children would start learning how to behave and write better so that they could learn to write their own thoughts for what choices and directions they would want to go...i would then feel better when I had a supportive administration that I was really reaching these kids...It would be so wonderful to come home to someone that really cared about me and saw what a good thing I was doing...maybe I could be content growing old helping these kids...helping them gets my mind off of my own travails...the pity wagon is a pitiful thing and I'm sharing this with maybe 5 or 10 readers that might just surf into this site ocasionally's like they are seeing a marine mammal flapping its fins stranded on the beach... (Is that a good metaphor for a pathetic situation?)

I have been reading the "Artist's Way" so much lately... disciplining myself even for a couple of pages everyday is a lot for me...The book tells you to write 3 pages of conciousness...I wish that I could type faster so that more of these thoughts would come out...some of this should be for no other eyes especially closeminded judgemental eyes of folks that have not gone through the loss of losing people so close...

People might be understanding or sympathetic for a little while after the loss and then they lose touch with the survivor ....

After Alene passed away, I gradually lost touch with my tennis friends. I probably started acting differently...Since then I have made new friends or companions on this journey...I have had many girlfriends or brief intimate acqauintances probably scaring many of them off with my nerdy, ADD ways of saying things... said impulsively that might hurt because they are so honest and true, but without malicious intent only misunderstanding..
Oh well, I've got to get over spilled words and spoiled relationships,
"no use crying over spilled metaphors" as the professor smiled flirtatiously with the young co-ed in the front row....


I'm sure it was the neediness for companionship after losing someone who centered their life around me. We shared and cuddled in the same bed for 13 years. I held this woman close to me for about 8 or so hours every night. The loss must have showed subconciously and in outward appearance. I lost my naivete and in many ways have become hardened to the world of anger and hatred. I much prefer being around loving nurturing folks. Sometimes, I fight this plague of anger and fear, at least knowing that my voice can be heard. Sometimes, I just want to escape from it and be a recluse in my own house.... only getting out to eat Chinese, Pizza or be in bar with an abundance of reminders our not too distant grunting guttural ancestors brought on by the inebriating grog....I

I'm happy to have avoided the neanderthals in pubs lately...It is so nice to go through weeks without seeing or having to confront this raw anger that is deeply rooted within our animal minds...

I suppose this bipolar feeling in the nation and Okiehoma has calmed down since their dicktator was reelected...they are happy and complacent like they are when their footall team wins...It doesn't matter that this is one of the poorest states yet they always vote for the Patrician's party.

The patricians have momentarily appeased the plebians with lots of death as their young gladatiors fight at the colliseum on the other side of the world.. the emperor says,

"Let them eat bread!"

To be's 2:36 and I'll see if Charles wants a walk. :)

9pm: One of the few things that I've acomplished today is walking about 5 or 6 miles today... earlier the walk with Charles and then walking to the Chinese restaurant and back. It's about 2,6 miles but I walked an extra few tenths when I realized I was going up the wrong street instead of Ramling Rd. The other neighbor's wife offered me a ride when she saw me walking around the corner....

I guess they are really trying to make peace with me. I told her that I was getting exercise. I do apreciate the offer and felt like the animosity is gone. So maybe things are getting better??

I have so much to do but don't know where I will start. Maybe, I will get up before 10am and will take a little adderall with my coffee. Maybe I will make the dreaded phone calls to the collection agency for the hospital bills from being assaulted by Mr. Dawkins and the bartender from Lumpy's. I gave Lumpy's the bill before Xmas and Dawkins had told me that he would pay when I saw him by chance at a convenience store. I get upset that I am too scared(?) to even face these people when an injustice was done to me and the bill needs to be paid. I guess I need to call a lawyer and talk to the police again. I thought that I could let it go but it's over $700 and I don't some testosterone rednecks spoil my credit. Please God, give me the strength to face people and look them in the eyes when I need to stand up for myself. I have let myself be a victim before and I need to learn when it's important to take a stand when someone really crosses the line.

that's enough for now....tomorrow is the start of February ....Dad will be 89 February 7th, Fat Tuesday eve.

Wow! Happy February, I am finally going to bed...It's 6am...I will have some serious rems and maybe will get somethings accomplished tomorrow like some phone calls to the agency and Lumpys! Can he have the courage and intestinal fortitude, readers??

"you,ve been saying you would get a laptop for several months!"

she rolls her eyes...
"What do you do with your life? Is this what will go in the book?"
and she wrinkles her face to look at him that tells him,
"besides ADD you are nuts"!

"I"ll give you the answer in the morning"
as the narcolepsy controls any dismal desire to confront an angry lady....and he nods off into his days of youth....he always dreams that he's still college age :)

"how pathetic"
he hears
and he rolls over to tune out that painful voice
that also comes from his own injured soul
He wishes for beautiful dreams
to give him the needed desire to seek out and love the new day!

Go Garvald! :)
Tuesday 5:30 :(
Damn aol...I keep losing service right when I am writing my funniest pieces and it's all erased...

"What have you accomplished today?"

Not a goddamn thing but explain myself as nothing but a lazy, lascivious, lethargic, lengthy Lethario using a silly French accent to make le Muffy to laugh knowing how good he can make her feel in the stupping department...:)

It was a hilarious scene funnier than most SNL skits..
(she rolls her eyes at his delusions of hilarity)

Feb 11th

It's funny when I shook hands with Shane, he still holds a grudge that I wouldn't kiss his ass his teeth look like he's doing crack..only in his 20's ,,,but apparently, they let an asshole bartender run the Blues Saloon.

I saw Pinky and her Snake Shakers and she almost looked as sickly as Shane. It's sad that is so predominantly redneck...Everyone looked very bored.

1/30 a year later:

I wondered if reikifethr had written this as I know she doesn't want to see me
and this seems to be her way of closure. She has gone through so much and I wish that I could go back in time to help her from being in the situation that she is in now. I wish that someway I could help her and know about her life.

I don't know who wrote this; no credits were given where I found it. If anybody knows please let me know and I'll post the credits. Thanks. ~~Lena

Background: We are all here to teach one another lessons and to learn lessons from one another. In the course of this learning, people will come in and out of our lives. When people come into our lives, it is usually an easy welcoming process. When people leave our lives, the departures are not always so pleasant. Often we spend too much time pondering, cursing, or regretting their absence from our lives.
Goal: The purpose is to achieve closure with people who have departed from your life WITHOUT seeing or speaking to them. This exercise brings the energy of completion to the relationship. It allows you to express - once and for all - what you wished to say to the person if you had the chance. It then releases the energy of closure and completion to the universe. Since at the level of pure energy, we are all one, you will feel the sense of closure and peace with the other person.
Preparation: All you need is a lighter, a blank piece of paper, a pen, and a quiet place and time to do this exercise. For each person, Here are the 4 questions to ask yourself and write out completely: 1. List all resentments
2. List all regrets 3. Write all unsaid or undelivered communications 4. Anything you would have wanted to acknowledge him/her/them
for and didn't. When it feels complete, burn the paper and Invocate (say) out loud:"I address my Greater God Self, For final release and Disposition:Please witness my Declaration of Power:I rescind any and all vows & contracts I have taken, anyone in this body has taken, and anyone within my genetic lineage has taken pertaining to:Any vow of Illusion, Separation and Disharmony. Remove and Clear All Negative Implants, Ancestral patterning, Genetic patterning, improper karmic attachments to my ( Insert Name of Person) , known or unknown to me.I claim my Divine Inheritance and Self Sovereign God Power NOW!I now declare these vows & contracts null and void in this incarnation and all incarnations across space and time, all parallel realities, parallel universes, alternate realities, alternate universes, all planetary systems, all source systems, all dimensions and the Void.Spirit, please release all structures, devices, entities, orientations or effects associated with these vows & contracts.NOW! "

Dad will be 90 on fat Tuesday Feb. 7th, the same birthday as Charles and Horacio!

Friday, January 28, 2005

Put this in your teapot and brew it!

Cannabis 'Scrips to Calm Kids?
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
By Kelley Beaucar Vlahos
•San Francisco Ponders the Pot Business•Kindergartner Sprinkles Marijuana Over Lasagna•Art Garfunkel Pleads Guilty to Drug Possession •Police Ordered to Return Confiscated Pot•Priest Accused of Growing Pot at Church•Medical Marijuana Prosecution Confusion •Kerry 'Toke' Draws Little Smoke•Federal Appeals Court OKs Medical Marijuana in Some Cases
WASHINGTON — As a California pediatrician and 49-year-old mother of two teenage daughters, Claudia Jensen says pot might prove to be the preferred medical treatment for attention deficit disorder (search) — even in adolescents.

"Why would anyone want to give their child an expensive pill … with unacceptable side effects, when he or she could just go into the backyard, pick a few leaves off a plant and make tea for him or her instead?" Jensen asked the Drug Policy Subcommittee of the House Government Reform Committee earlier this month.

While some wonder whether Jensen was smoking some wacky weed herself, the clinician for low-income patients and professor to first-year medical students at the University of Southern California (search) said her beliefs are very grounded: The drug helps ease the symptomatic mood swings, lack of focus, anxiety and irritability in people suffering from neuropsychiatric disorders like ADD and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (search).

"Cannabinoids are a very viable alternative to treating adolescents with ADD and ADHD," she told "I have a lot of adult patients who swear by it."

Under California state law, physicians are allowed to recommend to patients the use of marijuana to treat illnesses, although the federal government has maintained that any use of marijuana — medicinal or otherwise — is illegal. The federal courts have ruled that physicians like Jensen cannot be prosecuted for making such recommendations.

Jensen said she regularly writes prescriptions recommending the use of marijuana for patients —particularly those suffering pain and nausea from chronic illnesses, such as AIDS, cancer, glaucoma and arthritis.

She has also worked with one family of a 15-year-old — whose family had tried every drug available to help their son, who by age 13 had become a problem student diagnosed as suffering from ADHD. Under Jensen’s supervision, he began marijuana treatment, settling on cannabis in food and candy form, and he has since found equilibrium and regularly attends school.

But not everyone is so high on the idea of pot for students with neurological illnesses. Subcommittee Chairman Mark Souder, R-Ind., who invited Jensen to testify after reading about her ideas in the newspaper, was hardly convinced by her testimony.

"I do believe that Dr. Jensen really wants to help her patients, but I think she is deeply misguided when she recommends marijuana to teenagers with attention deficit disorder or hyperactivity," he told "There is no serious scientific basis for using marijuana to treat those conditions, and Dr. Jensen didn’t even try to present one."

Dr. Tom O'Connell, a retired chest surgeon who now works with patients at a Bay Area clinic for patients seeking medical marijuana recommendations, is working on it. He said cannabis not only helps pain, but also can treat psychological disorders. He is currently conducting a study of hundreds of his patients, whom he said he believes have been self-medicating with pot and other drugs for years, and he hopes to publish a paper on the subject soon.

"My work with cannabis patients is certainly not definitive at this point, but it strongly suggests that the precepts upon which cannabis prohibition have been based are completely spurious," O'Connell said. Worse yet, he added, the prohibition has successfully kept certain adolescents away from pot who now turn to tobacco and alcohol instead.

Jensen, who said she believes Souder invited her to testify to "humiliate me and incriminate me in some way," suggested that a growing body of evidence is being developed to back medical marijuana chiefly for chronic pain and nausea. She said it is difficult, however, for advocates like herself to get the funding and permission to conduct government-recognized tests on ADD/ADHD patients.

"Unfortunately, no pharmaceutical companies are motivated to spend the money on research, and the United States government has a monopoly on the available marijuana and research permits," she told Congress.

Studies done on behalf of the government, including the 1999 Institute of Medicine’s (search) "Marijuana and Medicine: Assessing the Science Base," found that marijuana delivers effective THC and other cannabinoids that serve as pain relief and nausea-control agents. But these same studies warn against the dangers of smoking marijuana and suggest other FDA-approved drugs are preferable.

"We know all too well the dangerous health risks that accompany (smoking)," said Rep. Elijah Cummings, D-Md., ranking member on the subcommittee, who like Souder, was not impressed by Jensen’s arguments.

"It flies in the face of responsible medicine to advocate a drug that had been known to have over 300 carcinogens and has proven to be as damaging to the lungs as cigarette smoking," added Jennifer Devallance, spokeswoman for the White House Office of Drug Control Policy (search).

The government points to Food and Drug Administration-approved Marinol (search), a THC-derived pill that acts as a stand-in for marijuana. But many critics say there are nasty side effects, and it’s too expensive for the average patient.

On the other hand, Jensen and others say cannabinoids can be made into candy form, baked into food or boiled into tea. They say that despite the FDA blessing, giving kids amphetamines like Ritalin for ADD and other behavioral disorders might be more dangerous.

"Ritalin is an amphetamine — we have all of these youngsters running around on speed," said Keith Stroup, spokesman for the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (search).

"Although it flies in the face of conventional wisdom, it's nevertheless true that cannabis is far safer and more effective than the prescription agents currently advocated for treatment of ADD-ADHD," O'Connell said.

Stroup said if Souder’s intention was to harangue Jensen, he was unsuccessful in the face of her solid and articulate testimony on April 1.

"It was a good day for her, and a good day for medical marijuana in Congress," he said.

Nick Coleman, a subcommittee spokesman, said Souder doesn't "try to humiliate people.

"But to promote medical marijuana for teenagers with ADD … he does not feel that is a sound and scientific medical practice," Coleman said.

While the issue of treating adolescents with medical marijuana is fairly new, the idea of using pot to treat chronically and terminally ill patients is not. Nine states currently have laws allowing such practices. A number of lawmakers on both sides of the aisle have added that they want the states to decide for themselves whether to pursue medical marijuana laws (search).

Among those lawmakers are Reps. Ron Paul, R-Texas, a physician; Dana Rohrabacher, R-Calif.; and Barney Frank, D-Mass.

"(Rep. Paul) believes there are some legitimate applications," like for pain and nausea, said spokesman Jeff Deist. "But the real issue is that states should decide for themselves."

Freedom to blog!

I can't believe I can access my blog. I played around with the security and somehow, the settings were preventing me from getting on.
Now it's 2:24 am and wondering what to say. I've been enjoying reading the Artist's way. Next week, I need to decide on my plan of action!

Now it's 12:24 pm...woke up at 10 am to find snow outside and can almost pretend that I'm snowbound in the country when I see the snow accumulating on the thick evergreen brancehs of my cedar forest in the backyard...watching Trump and his 20 something young bride talking about having kids!...isn't he aproaching 60...more power to him...if I was rich like him, I guess I could to afford kids and hiring a hispanic maid and even afford to pay their social security
unlike the blokes that Bush tried to hire for his administration...

so now I'm letting you be involved with my stream of conciousness
the pagan girl used to log everything in our notebook together as part of her own stream of really captures the moment...when you see what you wrote 3 years later or when I wrote about my travels in my diary when I was 10 years old...

It brings back exactly the way I viewed the wonderful large world back then....I was in Thailand in 66, while Vietnam was rife with civil war and seeing soldier hanging out at the hotel pool on R and R... I remember my older brother and I were somewhat oblivious to the war but when I flew over it, I knew that there were bombs going off down in the jungles below. We were singing,
"It's been a hard days night and I been workin' like a dog."
The beatles were famous for a few years...

Hope you all don't mind this stream of conciousness but nobody out there in cyberspace or any of my 5 loyal readers, wants to give me constructive criticism on what they want me to write about???
Here's another essay among other essays schwaggers from theschwag site about how they are trying to sneak by a bill to draft our young American youth for the dicktator's war for "freedom" when it's really about oil! :

I was a senior in HS when Nixon pulled us out so I didn't have to worry about "running for the hills", Canada or maybe trying my luck with the coast guard.

I just don't like the idea of us being over on the side of the world fighting communism or "terrorism" (Bush and his administration have become the terrorists)

when I would have been much happier servicing the country doing volunteer service somewhere where we really needed help, helping youngsters find out that they can have a life instead of a fat administrator or chicken hawk telling me to die for oil

We dont need to die for oil...We existed without oil 100 years ago...we walked , rode the horse or took a train run on coal...

we could make ourselves independent of is a finite resource that will run out when your grandchildren get tired of paying $100 for a gallon of gas!

it's interesting that a name after our worst institution, MCDs, call liberals "pukes"

probably from eating to many big macs

who has watched that DVD about folks getting sick from having a diet of only MCDs?

MCDs is another one of the ugly America's embarassments....the rest of the world laughs at us or worse, despises us because of this ugly Americana that is not wanted in so many countries..

when we blow ourselves up we will think that we worshipped the big mac! when anthropologists (if there are human remains or any human left) they will
see the mcd's styrofoam that have not degraded....they will see these ugly golden temples and think this place was for worship of the Holy bigmac cow!

"run for the hills "....
where there are no MCD arches to aesthetically pollute the scenery
those hills free of MCDs and the madness will be few and far between
places like schwag might not be around anymore as we subdivide our country
into homes, parking lots, MCDs and walmarts
just imagine walmart being in the center of what is now schwag 100 years from now!

they are all over see a beautiful little town in the country to be blighted
by these ugly yellow M arches

I am hoping that most of the folks from schwag form together to stop the mindless ravages of civilization or what we repukes like to call progress

There are many of us that want a much more ecological friendly civilization. The greens party has these ideals. I know most folks love places like schwag where we walk around rather than drive cars....
We will lose it unless we really speak up and decide to not tolerate shitty administrations, shitty closeminded attitudes and shitty processed food


Thursday, January 27, 2005

It's funny when you are away from the internets you kind of miss them. I finally have my own little portal or cyber door to the universe of must be the stuff that infiltrated my lungs!'s nice to be back at the Warr Acres library and sweet librarian, all dressed in red! :) I only have 15 minutes to say what I need to say and then put my writing and discussion from onto this site. I wrote on various places and my computer at home does not let my password work for some reason. Here is a conversation from the message board of the schwagsite:

Im putting our discussion on the site for others that are interested. I'd like my site to be sort of a chat room and support group for those with ADD and those that want to get rid of Bush rather than just staying in a funky depression! Ithink many of the funniest folks have ADD!

I would like others to be aware of folks that have different ways of processing and to not feel alone if you realize that you might be different.

I felt like you did, until I saw the difference in calming down very hyperactive and unintentionally disruptive students. They have difficulty staying in their seats and talking impulsively without thinking often getting themselves in trouble.

There is a substantial difference immediately in their behavior . When the medication wears out or they didn't take it, they get into trouble ...

I do believe in nutrition as a way to help students and gradually decrease the medication when their eating habits are better. Often the processed food in our diets causes so many problems and often causes problems and allergies . This poor diet is exhibited in poor behavior or poor work skills.

check out my site..I've talked about my own ADD and how it affects my life. I try to keep a sense of humor about all the fuckups that are often things folks that are absent minded and impulsive do.

as far as bud and ADD,
weed definitely makes me more lazy, so when I have been teaching, I wait until evening after work. When I have lots of work, I make cannabis a treat until the work is done. I also stay a very closet smoker as far as not letting any one at work know that I imbibe because of all the propaganda about for almost a century!

I'm hoping that with more exposure we will lessen the stigma so it will be like having a beer after work.

whitehaze Posted: Jan 27 2005, 01:04 PM

Bronze Member

Group: Members
Posts: 204
Member No.: 670
Joined: 17-October 03

Garvald, I understand your point, but I think you failed to understand mine.

Here's your example:
Not concentrating*take pill*concentrating

Here's my example:
Not concentrating (severity may differ with ADHD, I understand)*take pill* concentrating.

So, Speed helps you concentrate. ADHD children may need it more, but I could use it too. I have a lot of work to do, and I have trouble concentrating. Why shouldn't I use it?

Also, remember, parents like to use this so that they don't have to love and watch their kids. It's way over prescribed, and nearly handed out among doctors. Having only 3 and a half years of Psych, and a year of training in clinical testing, I could easily obtain it if I so desired. If you know how to answer the questions properly, you can obtain it too.

BUT BACK TO THE POINT: I could care less what YOU ingest. If it helps you, enjoy. I just don't think it's a smart idea to have children ingest relatively new drugs and screw up their very sensitive brains. Do we want children to be dependent on a pill for the rest of their lives, or would we like to see them succeed on their own accord?

I totally agree, DIET is essential to feeling and acting well. I was ecstatic that you make points to feed your children good food.

GnomeGrownThreads Posted: Jan 27 2005, 03:17 PM

Gold Member

Group: Members
Posts: 1111
Member No.: 316
Joined: 23-May 03

ahhhh adderall....

Melissa's bro is on it, and it seems to have helped him with his schoolwork indeed....As for the drawbacks, I think I will coerce him into posting his thoughts......

I DO know this....Adderall is not a weak, simple drug. It is a combination of two different amphetamine salts, and by weight is more potent than methamphetamines. The two amp combo works magic by each salt functioning in waves, overlapping each other, presumably to lessen the crash........

At one time amphetamines (not necessarily adderall) were the most prescribed pharms in america....Valium gets all the press, but post war america is a country run by speed freaks.

Not a big fan myself, but there are valid uses for it, and like any other drug it can simply be a tool, however, the potential for addiction/ abuse is pretty damn high.

Peace and Kindness
Bart Campbell

"An eye for an eye and soon the whole world is blind" Gandhi


garvald Posted: Jan 27 2005, 05:18 PM

Advanced Member

Group: Members
Posts: 71
Member No.: 1442
Joined: 22-September 04

you wrote,
So, Speed helps you concentrate. ADHD children may need it more, but I could use it too. I have a lot of work to do, and I have trouble concentrating. Why shouldn't I use it?

Yes, speed helps you concentrate. and from my experience teaching students with ADHD, I have not seen them grow up to become addicts. They go off it during the summer without any desire to have it.

There is a lot of stigma because it is an amphetamine and that was why I was reluctant to try adderall until I was sure. The Doctor let me try different samples from stratera to a med for narcolepsy. They all had good effects for thinking and my own ability to focus on what my gf was saying. I have been reluctant to try an amphetamine for very long but I have never felt addicted to it and often go weeks without it. I just drink more coffee which isn't healthy.(actually green tea gives you a good lift and it is good for you!)

When I was teaching,
I realized that the time released adderall worked well for me all day and I was able to work well into the evening. I would have felt overwhelmed with all the work with IEPS and lesson plans. I no longer felt overwhelmed with all the work that I had to do and developed more confidence. I also realized how much more that I could do in a day. It was like finally getting glasses after being nearsighted.

I am taking a year off to write and find out where I am going in my life. I realize that these pills are very potent and when I open up the capsules and just have a few beads, I can make the pill last (for as long as a week)
I only take a little of it, just like I would a cup of coffee, except that it really works so much better. It actually often lifts me out of a sometimes lethargic depression.

"Also, remember, parents like to use this so that they don't have to love and watch their kids. It's way over prescribed, and nearly handed out among doctors. Having only 3 and a half years of Psych, and a year of training in clinical testing, I could easily obtain it if I so desired. If you know how to answer the questions properly, you can obtain it too. "

I have worked with parents and many say that until they have a student that will not behave no matter how good a parent they may be. They are reluctant to try the drug regardless of how misbehaved the student is acting. The drug can be overprescribed but I have not seen that with the students that I have worked with.
parents sometimes want to blame the teacher or others when good parenting skills would work better in conjuction with limited medication.
There is a significant change in their behavior when they miss.

"BUT BACK TO THE POINT: I could care less what YOU ingest. If it helps you, enjoy. I just don't think it's a smart idea to have children ingest relatively new drugs and screw up their very sensitive brains. Do we want children to be dependent on a pill for the rest of their lives, or would we like to see them succeed on their own accord?"

There has been a lot of research on it. I have not seen the side effects from the adderall on any students. I know that it should be as a last resort but it also a choice for parents that don't want their child to miss out on a good education because of their poor behavior and inabilty to concentrate.
check out my site....I have a lot of books posted on my site about ADD. There are many historically significant inventors, artists, scientists that most likely had the "syndrome" when it can actually be a blessing and talent.

I totally agree, DIET is essential to feeling and acting well. I was ecstatic that you make points to feed your children good food.

Americans have more problems in this country in regards to violence, poor behavior in schools. This diet causes many more problems than we realize. Children are getting adult onset diabetes because they are 100 lbs too heavy.

If we ate vegetables more and less red meat, we would be healthier and less angry.

Hope that you didnt mind the way I responded to your letter, Haze

whitehaze Posted: Jan 27 2005, 07:40 PM

Bronze Member

Group: Members
Posts: 204
Member No.: 670
Joined: 17-October 03

I think the way you responded was perfect. If I could figure out how to quote on this damn thing I would.

All the benefits you describe are indeed great benefits. I also notice the same thing about coffee. I used to be a real user of ADDs when I was in high school. I had a friend who was prescribed them and hated them. So, naturally, he gave them to his homey. ME.

They were wonderful. I could do all my work, be a peach in class. Shit, I remember raising my hand and answering questions, even while stoned. Those were fun days. I lost weight, didn't need to sleep, and it helped me make straight "A's. (That's what we are here for right?) I was the perfect little boy.

But I WAS on a pill. Speed.

I guess I get a long fine without it, but I guess I miss it like you would. It's hard for me to concentrate, and I get anxious when I have big tasks. I perform better when on Speed. Flat out.

I like what you said near the end because it proves my point well. Those historically significant artists and inventors, and scientists that had the "syndrome" as you describe it. Those people didn't have pills. They had their "word" and their "balls" per Tony Montana. That's it.

Imagine if everyone though Van Gogh needed a pill because he was a bit too looney?

Again, I am all about YOUR freedom. This country is badass because of it.
I just don't think giving kids speed is a good answer. I have two cousins with doctor described ADHD, and they are special, but something about the pills makes them different from themselves.

If a kid doesn't raise his hand or talks in class. If a kid doesn't get in line properly, or plays rough with the other boys. If a kid doesn't want to do his work. Are these good reasons?

I SAY screw lines, screw raising your hand, screw not talking to a friend in class, screw that bullshit busy work like writing your name 30 times. If my kid is smart enough not to wanna write his name in cursive six times, and write out spelling definitition 8 times. MORE POWER. Ask yourself, can that kid concentrate on nintendo for 3 hours? Does he have ADD?

Elementery school for kids is all about bullshit socializiation. Get in line, raise hand, don't talk, don't step out of line. Keep a perfect straight line. If a Kid strays from the norm, he needs something.

Aren't you quitting to write and think about where your going? doesn't that suggest something to you about it's possible influence, or I am reading way to much into that....

Thanks for such a lively debate Garvald. It's helped me burn a few minutes before a third date. I was so anxious...

Until next time, a free promotion for you:

Edited by whitehaze - Jan 27 2005, 07:46 PM

garvald Posted: Jan 27 2005, 08:29 PM

Advanced Member

Group: Members
Posts: 71
Member No.: 1442
Joined: 22-September 04

"Aren't you quitting to write and think about where your going? doesn't that suggest something to you about it's possible influence, or I am reading way to much into that...."

I have been thinking about writing a book for 20 years. One
of the most irritating and frustrating symptom of the condition is procrastination and putting something off until you are way past the deadline. I would end up doing papers for the prof at 3 in the morning. I did not have the pill when I survived college a few times.

It is hard to say where I might be in my life right now if I had started in high school long before they knew about the condition and just called you lazy and absent minded.

You need to read "Driven to Distraction" about adults going no where in their life until they discovered medication and doing the steps in their lives to cope with their difference in processing. Check out Barnes and Noble and browse books on ADD and relationship. It will give you a lot of insight into yourself and others.

"Thanks for such a lively debate Garvald. It's helped me burn a few minutes before a third date. I was so anxious...

Until next time, a free promotion for you:

Monday, January 24, 2005

Lately, I haven't felt like writing as much but I have been enjoying blogging on the internet to see what has been written on my favorite subjects such as Bush, rednecks or marijuana. It's been nice being away from the intellectually starved state of 66.6 % Bubbamentalism. It's hard to find a place with where I could find a good game of chess or cannabis induced conversation.

Today is a gorgeous day, so I hope that Muffy and I will be able to enjoy it for her day off. I have been procrastinating about heading south.

I still need to order my notebook computer from Dell so that I can find my favorite coffee shop and start writing for a couple of of conciousness...and then opening my mind up to all the things that I can do with the rest of my life...

A warm day teasing you with spring ...
like having a taste of a lover that you miss so much
spring fever and it's full moon's eve
the moon energizes your fluids
the way she motivates the tides

I've had a few licks of adderall and so now I'm motivated to write more...

The pagan ex gf often mentioned getting me the "Artist's Way" as a way to help you find the artist within yourself...The author stresses writing 3 pages a day of everything that is in your mind to release the creative blocks that have been preventing you from your creative process...I am a slow reader so I read a few pages everyday whether I'm at Cici's in Grandview or the Broadway Cafe in Wesport...
at the moment, I am not writing 3 pages on a regular basis...but I can easily fit in 15 minutes each day to write in my journal. That helps!

It helps when I feel the energy of the day by just walking outside. Believe it or not, when I was growing up from a young adolescent to college boy,I would regularly sing "Oh what a beautiful morning" from the musical, "Oklahoma" whenever it was a gorgeous morning! (I had no idea that I would be stuck in Oklahoma for over 20 years. Was I being prophetic or just plain pathetic?)
So I sang in front of the neighbor's 3 dogs and two of them listened to me sing it while the other one ate a bone. The white dog that always barks, actually shut up and looked at me with this alpha tail high up in the air and let me finish the song. It was almost like I was talking to him more than the other dogs. He seemed to accept me...(maybe I ought to feed him the roast that Muffy thought was beginning to turn bad).

I ate some of it and it seemed ok. I'll let you know if me or any of the canines have food poisoning. :) I know some of my real neighbors would get angry feeding their animals but I love feeding the cats and the meat I'm sure is good. The owner saw me feeding his watch dogs for his large backyard and was cool about me feeding them . It was dated for the 24th but I ate it for lunch and Muff enjoyed most of it. Well, we'll see. Dogs have better bacteria than humans to fight off the stuff that you might get from eating old meat.

I sang the song and then enjoyed walking to Price Chopper for Muffey's cup of sour cream for her cauliflower dish while enjoying the warmth of the sun on me.
We are gonna get out of here and enjoy the few hours of beautiful sunshine together!

What is worse than a reformed drunk?



KATHERINE VAN WORMER, IRISH TIMES - Brain studies reinforce what recovering alcoholics and their counselors have been saying for years; long-term alcohol and other drug use changes the chemistry of the brain These anomalies in brain patterns are associated with a rigidity in thinking. . .

"Dry drunk" is a slang term used by members and supporters of Alcoholics Anonymous and substance abuse counselors to describe the recovering alcoholic who is no longer drinking, one who is dry, but whose thinking is clouded. Such an individual is said to be dry but not truly sober; such an individual tends to go to extremes.

It was when I started noticing the extreme language that colored Mr Bush's speeches that I began t o wonder. First there were the terms - "crusade" and "infinite justice" that were later withdrawn. Next came "evildoers", "axis of evil", and "regime change", terms that have almost become cliches. Something about the polarized thinking and the obsessive repetition reminded me of many of the recovering alcoholics/addicts I had treated.

Over the months, hundreds of people, many of them in recovery from alcoholism, have written "ah-ha" letters and provided additional insights to the hypothesis: "I spotted it right away - he's a dry-drunk," or "He needs to work on his issues." Consider the most commonly delineated traits of irrational thinking known as "the dry-drunk syndrome" and how closely they match the personality characteristics of George W. Bush.

Exaggerated self-importance and grandiose behavior. . .

All or nothing thinking. . .

Obsessiveness. . .

The man who knows George W. best, the person most familiar with his rashness of thought, recently sent him a message. In a speech at Tufts University, George Bush Snr emphasized the need for the US to maintain close ties with Europe and the UN. "You've got to reach out to the other person," he advised. If only George W. would.

Katherine van Wormer Ph.D. is professor of social work at the University of Northern Iowa. She is co-author of Addiction Treatment: A Strength's Perspective


`WE WERE TERRIBLE TO ANIMALS,' recalled [Bush pal Terry] Throckmorton, laughing. A dip behind the Bush borne turned into a small lake after a good rain, and thousands of frogs would come out. `Everybody would get BB guns and shoot them,' Throckmorton said. `Or we'd put firecrackers in the frogs and throw them and blow them up.'- Nicholas D. Kristof, Midland Life, TX

DAVID COGSWELL - We are talking now about a guy who as a kid put firecrackers in frogs and threw them into the air to watch them explode. He cracked himself up in an interview with Talk magazine by mocking a woman on death row whose cries for mercy he scorned, screwing up his face and saying, "Please don't kill me!" in an impersonation of the deceased. He presided over more executions as governor of Texas than any governor since capital punishment was legalized. His own people said he never spent more than 15 minutes deliberating over whether to sign the order to kill. . . This is a man who enjoys killing. He is totally in his element when it comes to killing. Everyone is different. This is the way he is.


[From detonating frogs with firecrackers as a kid to torturing Afghan prisoners, George Bush has shown an interest in sadistic violence. Now David Martin sends along this from a few years back.

RICHARD GOODING, STAR WEEKLY, July 27, 1999 - Presidential candidate George W. Bush once led a Yale fraternity that barbarically branded its new members on their backsides with a red-hot metal rod as part of a sadistic hazing practice. "I got branded and I didn't like it one bit," Professor Bradford Lee of the elite Naval War College in Newport, R.I.-an ex-football player and onetime member of Bush's Delta Epsilon Kappa fraternity-told STAR in an exclusive interview. "It did burn," he says, recalling the terrifying experience. "I think I still have the mark on me."

A Star investigation has revealed that he was president of Delta Epsilon Kappa when the hazing scandal broke in the campus newspaper in the late '60s-leading to the fraternity being fined and the branding practice halted. Amazingly, Bush, now the governor of Texas, defended the illegal torture of the young fraternity pledges at the time as a harmless prank-insisting that it was comparable to "only a cigarette burn" which left "no scarring mark physically or mentally." But others said the branding resulted in a second-degree burn that left a half-inch scab in the shape of the Greek letter Delta.

Lee-who still bears the mark 32 years later-is not sure who actually wielded the brand because the pledges were not allowed to look at their tormentors. "But I do know that George Bush was very active in all the fraternity activities then."

Lee, who was a guard on the Yale football team, recalled that the branding came after "a long initiation that went on into the early morning hours." He says the idea was to wear you out so much that you allowed your bare flesh to be singed. "I was already tired from football practice earlier that day. I was so groggy I wasn't exactly sensitive to what they were up to. I wasn't very happy about it."

. . . Bill Katz, now a community college teacher in northern New Jersey, told Star that the branding was done with "a wire coat hanger twisted into a triangle and heated up" in the fireplace. "They touched you just above the buttocks, in the small of the back," he says.

. . . And Boston lawyer Franklin Levy said that to increase the fear of the moment, the older fraternity men first brandished an actual glowing hot branding iron-to make them think that was what awaited them. "When they burned me," Levy remembers, "I jumped a mile."

Before the brandings, pledges had to endure hours of being kicked and a vicious round of tannings with wooden paddles-another practice that Yale has ruled taboo. "On that night," according to an account in the Yale Daily News in 1967, 'each pledge was forced to sit with his head between his legs, motionless, for two to five hours.

"If he coughed, raised his hand or talked, he was kicked by an older brother." After all the beatings, recalled one fraternity member, the branding was almost a relief.

In the wake of the Yale Daily News' expose of the fraternity's hazing, Bush, whose father was also a DKE at Yale, admitted the branding to the New York Times in November 1967. But Bush - whose college nickname was "Lip" for his Texas wisecracks - also ripped into Yale for being too "Haughty" to "allow this type of pledging to go on."

ALAN BISBORT, AMERICAN POLITICS JOURNAL - Alcoholics Anonymous has a name for someone who is a drunk in every way except for the actual imbibing of spirits. They call that person a "dry drunk." This is not a judgmental term, nor should this be a judgmental topic in America, where there are, by even the most conservative estimates, 10 million adult alcoholics, and very few families that have not been touched, in one way or another, by this national scourge. This same scourge has, by his own admission, also touched the life of our Commander in Chief. . . Bush's past battles with the bottle are worth pondering at a time like this, one of the most dangerous in the nation's history. When a recovering alcoholic begins to engage in what AA calls "stinking thinking," he or she begins to exhibit the old attitudes and pathologies of their drinking years. These include an increase in anxiety, mild tremors, mild depression, disturbed sleep patterns, inability to think clearly, craving for junk food, irritability, sudden bursts of anger and unpredictable mood swings. According to AA literature, "Boredom and listlessness may alternate with intense feelings of resentment against family and friends, and explosive outbursts of violence." Bush said he was a "heavy drinker." But let's not be coy here. Anyone who has ever imbibed heavily over a long period of time knows that "heavy drinker" is the rich man's (or the politician's) code for alcoholic.

How did he, at age 58, get so fumble-tongued, incapable of stringing more than two coherent sentences together, snippily irritable with anyone who dares disagree with him or even ask a question, poutily turning his back on the democratically elected president of one of our most important allies because of something one of his underlings said about him, listlessly in need of constant vacations and rest, dangerously obsessed with only one thing, to the exclusion of all other things (including an economy that is slowly sucking the life from the nation as well as the retirement savings of anyone reading these words)? Furthermore, why is Bush so eager to engage in violence and so incapable of explaining why?

KATHERINE VAN WORMER, COUNTERPUNCH - What is the dry drunk syndrome? "Dry drunk" traits consist of:

Exaggerated self-importance and pomposity
Grandiose behavior
A rigid, judgmental outlook
Childish behavior
Irresponsible behavior
Irrational rationalization

Clearly, George W. Bush has all these traits except exaggerated self importance. He may be pompous, especially with regard to international dealings, but his actual importance hardly can be exaggerated. His power, in fact, is such that if he collapses into paranoia, a large part of the world will collapse with him. Unfortunately, there are some indications of paranoia in statements such as the following: "We must be prepared to stop rogue states and their terrorist clients before they are able to threaten or use weapons of mass destruction against the United States and our allies and friends." The trait of projection is evidenced here as well, projection of the fact that we are ready to attack onto another nation which may not be so inclined.


CAROL WOLMAN, MD, COUNTERPUNCH - Many people, inside and especially outside this country, believe that the American president is nuts, and is taking the world on a suicidal path. As a board-certified psychiatrist, I feel it's my duty to share my understanding of his psychopathology. He's a complicated man, under tremendous pressure from both his family/junta, and from the world at large. So the following is offered with humility and questioning, in the form of a differential diagnosis.

From the Freudian point of view:

Dubya may be acting out a classical Oedipal drama--overcome Daddy to get Mommy. By deposing Saddam, when his father did not, he may want to prove himself more worthy of his mother's love. His rationale that he is avenging the assassination attempt on George, Sr., may be a reaction formation - his way of hiding the true motive from himself. . .

From the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Fourth Edition, Antisocial Personality Disorder--301.7

There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others since age 15 years as indicated by at least three of the following: 1) failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest; 2) deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure; 5) reckless disregard for safety of self or others; 7) lack of remorse by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated or stolen from others. . .

Another possibility: Narcissistic personality disorder 301.81

1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance- exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements;

2) in preoccupied with fantasies of unliimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love;

3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people. . .

Saturday, January 22, 2005

In George We Trust.....not!

"Onward Christian soldiers marching as to war!"

Republicans Push For `In God We Trust' Banners In Libraries
Published: Jan 22, 2005

NEW PORT RICHEY - Dollar bills and many Pasco County government buildings bear the motto ``In God We Trust.''
Pasco Republican leader Bill Bunting and other party loyalists want to extend the message to public libraries.

Bunting recently asked county commissioners to hang banners with the inscription ``In God We Trust,'' along with American flags, in public meeting rooms at the county's seven libraries.

``It's very simple. It's not political. It involves all parties,'' Bunting said this week. ``This country was founded on Judeo-Christian values. If you're an atheist, and you don't like it, you can put a banner over it and take [the banner] down when you leave.''

The late Joe Herrmann, a San Antonio activist, approached the county commission three years ago about posting ``In God We Trust'' plaques in public buildings and donated about 30 of them, commission Chairwoman Pat Mulieri said. County Attorney Robert Sumner said at the time that he saw no legal reason to prohibit the signs because they did not refer to a specific God, so commissioners endorsed them.

The signs, some of which were donated by another resident, were posted in government buildings and elderly nutrition sites, but they never made it to libraries, Assistant County Administrator Dan Johnson said. American flags were displayed in portable stands in some library conference rooms, but children often knocked them down, so the flags were stored in closets, where they have stayed.

Bunting has recruited state Rep. Gus Bilirakis, R-Palm Harbor, to buy new American flags for the county's public libraries. Bilirakis said he supported Bunting's efforts to hang ``In God We Trust'' banners or plaques.

``We have it on our currency, and our country was founded under God,'' said Bilirakis, who is Greek Orthodox. ``People have other beliefs, and we should respect that, but our country was founded on Judeo-Christian values, and I don't think we should get away from that.''

Bunting takes the argument a step further.

``We're getting a little tired of our country chipping away at our rights,'' he said. ``Us Republicans feel very strongly about that, and that was a big issue in the [presidential] campaign. If you have an objection to it, just ignore it. If you think it's terrible, don't go into that building.''

Legality Is Undetermined

County Administrator John Gallagher at a recent county commission meeting told Bunting he would hang the ``In God We Trust'' banners in the libraries, but this week he said he's unsure whether the signs are legal. Commissioner Ted Schrader endorsed the idea at the meeting, and none of the other four commissioners raised objections.

Mulieri and Commissioner Ann Hildebrand said they were under the impression the signs are allowed because neither Gallagher nor Sumner advised the board to reject the signs when Bunting raised the issue.

``We did not say `no,' but I guess I'd assume if Mr. Sumner or Mr. Gallagher have a problem with it, they will come back before us,'' Hildebrand said.

Chief Assistant County Attorney Barbara Wilhite said Thursday that her office had not researched the issue, and would not offer an opinion unless asked.

``We haven't been asked to research it. We haven't evaluated it. We are not going to research or evaluate it unless John Gallagher or the county commissioners ask us to,'' Wilhite said.

Gallagher later said he would ask the county attorney's office for an opinion.

``I don't know whether they are legal or not,'' Gallagher said. ``I'll ask them to look into it. This is on our dollar bill. I'm getting [federal] mandates saying I have to give a share of grant money to faith-based organizations. I think the issue of separation of church and state may be getting cloudy.''

Christmas Trees

Assistant County Administrator Dan Johnson said his department operates under the policy that ``In God We Trust'' signs are legal in public buildings.

``We have gotten legal advice that the courts have ruled on this, and it is acceptable,'' Johnson said.

The issue rings similar to a debate about Christmas trees, which Gallagher and Johnson temporarily outlawed at public buildings in December after the county attorney's office said religious displays could expose the county to legal problems. The opinion, given after a Jewish man questioned the policy and was told he could not display a menorah in front of a library, said displays could cause problems if they are accompanied by negative opinions regarding religion, religious holidays or obscene symbols.

The county attorney's office later clarified the opinion, saying Christmas trees decorated in garland, snowflakes, Santas and even menorahs may be displayed at Pasco County government buildings, as long as they are accompanied by a patriotic message. The opinion is based on the U.S. Supreme Court ruling that Christmas trees without nativity scenes or religious ornaments are nonreligious symbols and therefore may be displayed at county property. A menorah with a Christmas tree also is not considered religious, but it, too, must be displayed with a ``salute to liberty.''

A long-standing county policy allows various holiday displays at public buildings.

Reporter Julia Ferrante can be reached at (813) 948-4220

Who wants the days of the Spanish Inquisition, where the Pope or Christian king could lead wars against heathens?

Muffy's fireplace....mmmm cozy :)

Yesterday, I hung out in Westport waiting for Muffy to get off work. There's a Mexican restaurant that offers 89 cent beers all day Friday and Saturday. I ate a large burrito and was writing and reading when a Hare Krishna offered me a couple of books on Buddhism. I like a lot of things about their peaceful ways of eating vegetarian and not having the angry intolerant fire and brimstone of the puritanical Baptists and the intolerance of the right wing sect of the Moslem religion.

I gave him a donation for one of his books and offered him to sit down. I felt much happier after visiting with him letting go of some of the losses in my life. It is amazing when you just feel good karma overcome you.

Afterwards I checked out Buzzard Beach and met some of my favorite benchmarks of the place. There were the authors of and Chillicothe Dave and my favorite bartender, Dennis, of Mormon heritage. (He was telling me that Meth and Mormons are strong in Independence, Mo.)

Lately, I have not been as motivated to write and prefer to just browse my favorite websites while occasionally going downstairs to tend the fireplace in Muffy's den on the cold day in the teens. I better go check on it.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Tight ass Repukes get DC to foot the bill!

Thanks for the anonymous comments. These are the first in a long while. Good to see some Repukes get out of hibernation!

District Should Not Pay For Bush Inauguration Security
Source: The Hilltop (Howard University - DC)
Date: Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Author: Editorial

There are a lot of us who are not very excited about the upcoming inaugural celebration that will bring President Bush into office for another four years. However, the celebration is special because it is the first post 9/11 inaugural celebration. Right now, the D.C. government isn't very excited either because, thanks to this being the first inauguration since 9/11, there is a need for extra security; a need that carries a $12 million price tag that the federal government has passed on to D.C.

Since D.C. is not considered a state, and therefore, does not get the same rights as other states such as representation in the senate. D.C. has a shadow senator. They carry the duties of any regular senator but, they are not paid and do not have full-voting rights when it comes to passing legislation. It's a well-known fact that D.C. residents have never been happy about this, hence the license plates that read: "taxation without representation."

The federal government also controls many aspects of D.C. government including its budget. So when the federal government realized they didn't have enough money in their inaugural budget for extra security, they passed the cost on to D.C.'s homeland security budget. So once again, the federal government has played D.C. as a result of their statehood status.

Even worse, is the fact that the inaugural celebration is held in D.C. every four years only because D.C. is our nation's capital. No one ever officially voted to hold the celebration in D.C. each year. As a result, merchants lose money because they must close their stores early in anticipation of heavy traffic. Let's not forget to mention where the extra security is coming from: the D.C. Metropolitan Police force.

To say all of this is unfair would be an understatement considering the millions of dollars left over from the Bush campaign. That money is going back to Bush, not back into the city's homeland security budget.

We believe all of this would ultimately be solved if the federal government would simply give D.C. its deserved statehood, that way D.C. government officials can have more say as to where there money goes. In the meantime, they should just give the money back, it's a financial burden every year and this year's need for extra security will make it an even bigger burden. Its not D.C.'s fault that this year's inauguration is the most expensive in the celebration's 200-year history, why should they have to foot the bill.

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Thursday, January 20, 2005

Thought you might to look at our born again Prez and his carefree days!

Source: Sunday Times
DAte: 12 September 2004

How team Bush took an airbrush
to the Chosen One’s misdeeds

The public swallowed a story of the wayward president’s son who cleaned up his act to take his place in the White House. Kitty Kelley exposes what really lurks in George W Bush’s past
On November 6, 1997, the exclusive club of America’s current and former presidents and first ladies gathered at a college campus in Texas for a celebration. President and Mrs Clinton arrived on Air Force One to join President and Mrs Ford, President and Mrs Carter, Nancy Reagan and Lady Bird Johnson.

They were there to honour President George Bush, who had raised $83m to build his presidential library at Texas A&M University.

His eldest son, George W Bush, governor of Texas, welcomed the 20,000 guests. With a few words, W smashed the bonhomie of the occasion: “I’m here to praise my father as a man who entered the political arena and left with his integrity intact . . . A war hero, a loving husband . . . and a president who brought dignity and character and honour to the White House.”

Spoken at the height of Clinton’s personal scandal in front of a predominantly Republican crowd, the assault on the current president’s integrity was not lost on anyone.

The Bush family had never accepted Clinton as a worthy successor, and they delighted in his unfolding scandal. They e-mailed one another ribald jokes about Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones’s sexual harassment suit against Clinton.

When it was reported that Jones claimed she could identify a “distinguishing characteristic” of Clinton’s anatomy, George Sr did not rest until he discovered what she was talking about. He then e-mailed his sons and friends: “His Johnson curves to the left.”

The family was looking towards its restoration to power through the presidential candidacy of George W. His mother, Barbara Bush, referred to him as “the Chosen One”. There was a problem, however. After eight years of Clinton, the American public “want to elect a statue”, as Oklahoma’s Republican governor Frank Keating put it. “They want a hero, an unblemished and untarnished guy in the White House.”

Karl Rove, the political adviser with the task of shaping W’s image, knew he had to present his candidate as the anti-Clinton: fresh (no drugs, no alcoholism), religious (acceptable to evangelicals) and faithful to his wife (majority of voters: women).

Fanning out across the country, Rove and the Bush team began to tidy up the governor’s past. Rove wanted no potentially devastating revelations to emerge that might portray W and Laura, his wife, as anything but an ideal and idealised couple. But to present W as pure and pristine was hypocritical and untrue.

George W Bush wasn’t Bill Clinton, certainly not in terms of sexual excess. But Clinton is not the standard to which he should be held. He must be compared with his own declarations on morality and his own carefully crafted public image — the image that the entire Bush family has cultivated for so long.

THE first hurdle facing the tidy-up team was to deal with W’s past drug use. As governor of Texas, he took a hard line on drugs. He supported increased penalties for possession and signed legislation mandating jail time for people caught with less than a single gram of cocaine.

Yet, as the claims of Sharon Bush, his sister-in-law, show, he could have been subject to jail time himself had he been caught “doing coke” with his brother Marvin at Camp David during his father’s presidency.

In the midst of an unfriendly divorce from Neil, another of the Bush brothers, Sharon told me last year: “He and Marvin did coke at Camp David when their father was president and not just once, either.”

As governor, George W had been very careful not to lie about doing illegal drugs himself, because he knew there were too many people who could testify to the truth. “When I was young and irresponsible,” he would say, “I was young and irresponsible.”

So what was his drugs record? When they were young, both he and Laura used to go down to the island of Tortola in the British Virgin Islands where they attended and enjoyed heavy pot-smoking parties. Smoking pot was hardly a sin but it did not mesh with the strait-laced image the Bushes were now presenting to the voters.

Then there were the allegations about cocaine. When W was at Yale in the mid-1960s, it was the most popular drug on campus. One contemporary, who insists on remaining anonymous, admitted years later to selling cocaine to W at the university.

Another man who was at Yale’s graduate school recalled “doing coke” with George, but he would not allow his recollections to be used on the record. This was not simply through fear of retribution. He said he did not feel right about “blowing George’s cover because I was doing the same thing”. A confirmed Democrat, he also said that although he could not stand George’s Republican politics, he liked him as a person.

Alcohol, the more familiar thread in W’s life story, started at Andover, the exclusive school W attended.

Andover stressed athletics as part of its regimen. Unable to live up to his father’s legacy as one of Andover’s most outstanding athletes, George W played his own kind of sports and won a reputation as a prankster.

“He loved stickball, which is baseball played with a broomstick and a tennis ball and funny hats,” recalled his contemporary, J Milburn “Kim” Jessup. “George made himself the high commissioner of stickball, which was a joke job.”

Alcohol was absolutely forbidden on or off campus, but the high commissioner of stickball figured out a way to beat the system. He designed an official stickball membership card that seemed to carry the imprimatur of Andover. He distributed the cards as fake IDs.

“People took the cards and started slipping off campus to go to Boston so they could get drunk,” said Jessup.

When W moved on to Yale at 18, with the Vietnam war at its height, he felt alienated on the liberal campus because of his father’s conservative politics and his own Texan childhood.

“George was definitely not on the popular side of the war issue, but he stood his ground,” said Robert Dieter, his Yale roommate. “Saying someone was conservative back then almost had a moral sting. I remember him coming back to the room and telling me that someone had been in his face about his father’s position. There was a certain arrogance that the left conveyed back then. It was hurtful.”

As a result, George spent most of his time carousing at the Delta Kappa Epsilon (DKE) fraternity house or “the drinking jock house”, as it was known. Some classmates remember him as a “hard-drinking good-time guy” and “a jock sniffer” who “loved to raise hell”.

Ken White, a DKE contemporary, told me: “My wife remembers him roaring drunk one night at a DKE party without a date doing the Alligator; that was some sort of dance back then when you fell to the floor on all fours and started rolling around.”

In the spring of 1972, after graduating from Yale and while serving part-time in the Texas Air National Guard, George W embarked on what he would later describe as his “nomadic years”. Seeing him adrift, his father got him a job with the Republican campaign in a Senate race in Alabama.

Those who worked with George at that time remember him as an affable social drinker who acted much younger than his 26 years. They recall that he liked to drink beer and Jim Beam whiskey at the Cloverdale Grill in Birmingham, Alabama. They also say he liked to sneak out the back for a joint of marijuana or into the bathroom for a line of cocaine.

According to their recollections, he tended to show up for work “around noon”, prop his cowboy boots on a desk and start bragging about how much he had drunk the night before.

Spending Christmas in Washington with his parents, W went out drinking with 16-year-old Marvin. Driving home, he smashed into several dustbins. He swaggered into the house with the bravado of someone who had drunk too much, and there was his father, sober and unsmiling.

“You want to go mano a mano right here?” George junior challenged.

Big George called John White, a former footballer with the Houston Oilers. Bush wanted his son to perform community service with a mentoring programme for inner-city youth started by White and his teammate Ernie “Big Cat” Ladd.

Young George reported for work in January 1973 at a warehouse in a tough district where kids up to 17 years of age were offered sports, crafts, field trips, free snacks, rap sessions, tutoring for those who had been expelled, and big-name mentors from the athletic, entertainment, business, and political worlds.

Ladd recalled young George as “a super, super guy . . . If he was a stinker, I’d say he was a stinker. But everybody loved him so much. He had a way with people . . . They didn’t want him to leave.”

W stayed only seven months before he was accepted at Harvard Business School — a more hostile environment. It was the height of Watergate and his father was running the Republican National Committee for Richard Nixon, who was considered the Antichrist at Harvard. In Cambridge, Massachusetts, the town that surrounded the college, only 400 people were registered Republicans.

“I remember seeing Georgie at the Harvard Business School,” said Torbert Macdonald, an old classmate from Andover, “but he looked so lost and forlorn I didn’t have the heart to say hello.”

Others were less sympathetic. “I can still see him in his cowboy boots and leather flight jacket walking into macroeconomics,” recalled a classmate. “He sat in the back of the class, chewing tobacco and spitting it into a dirty paper cup . . . He was one red-assed Texan who made sure he was in your Yankee face and up your New England nose.”

Most of his contemporaries at the business school headed for Wall Street after graduation but W moved back to Midland, his boyhood home town in Texas, trying to become an oilman. He lived above a garage in an apartment that was piled high with dirty clothes that his friends’ wives periodically washed. Most of his nights were spent in bars, drinking with buddies in the oil business.

In July 1977, soon after his 31st birthday, friends introduced him to his polar opposite, Laura Welch. “We were the only two people among our friends who had not yet married,” she later joked.

Nobody expected the introduction to ignite, but George and Laura were married within three months at the First United Methodist Church in Midland.

Laura, the only child of a Midland builder, is remembered by some former students at Southern Methodist University in Dallas for not being as conservative as most. She had smoked marijuana and backpacked through Europe after graduation. A Democrat, she had also supported the anti-war candidate, Senator Eugene McCarthy, for the presidency in 1968.

In the early years of their marriage Laura joined her husband in his revels. “George and Laura ran in a much faster and fancier crowd than we did — their friends were all hard-drinking and drugging. That was part of the oil business scene then,” said Robert Whitt, a Midland lawyer.

But after a hard struggle to conceive and a fragile pregnancy with twins, Laura pulled back from the hellraising while he charged on, leaving her behind.

“I suppose there were strains in her marriage, just because he’s so difficult and high-energy and . . . she isn’t, but she never talked about it . . . Just read paperbacks and smoked cigarettes,” said Sharon Bush.

The couple kept their distance from the Bush family for several years in the 1980s, staying in Midland and even skipping the big surprise party that George Sr — by then vice-president of the United States — threw for his wife on their 41st wedding anniversary. “It’s a long way,” Barbara said, “and too expensive.” But family members confirmed that she had stopped speaking to her son, whose drunken outbursts had become a source of unending embarrassment to his wife and parents. The last eruption at a family gathering had been a tactless crack to the wife of one of his parents’ friends at her 50th birthday party: “So, what’s sex like after 50, anyway?”

He was 40 by the time he gave up tobacco, alcohol and drugs in 1986 and became a born-again Christian. In his memoir, A Charge to Keep, W credited his family’s good friend, the Reverend Billy Graham, with planting “a mustard seed in my soul”. He did not mention that he actually came to Jesus in a coffee house conversion with a much more flamboyant evangelist, Arthur Blessitt, who was known among born-agains as the man who had wheeled a 96lb cross of Jesus into 60 countries on six continents, winning a place in the Guinness Book of Records.

W figured, perhaps, that Graham was more palatable to churchgoing voters than Blessitt, who came to Midland after the bottom dropped out of the oil boom and fortunes crashed overnight. In a desperate effort to rescue lives and restore morale, some church elders invited the evangelist to stage a revival in the town. Loudspeakers exhorted the populace “to experience the love of God, the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the holy spirit”.

George, who had already begun attending a men’s Bible class, asked a friend to arrange a meeting at a hotel coffee shop. As Blessitt recalled, George began with a few pleasantries, and then plunged in: “I want to talk to you about how to know Jesus Christ and how to follow Him.”

“I was quite shocked at his direct and sincere approach,” said Blessitt. “I slowly leaned forward and lifted the Bible that was in my hand and asked him about his relationship with the Lord: ‘If you died this moment do you have the assurance you would go to heaven?’” “No.”

“Then let me explain to you how you can have that assurance and know for sure that you are saved.”

“I’d like that.”

The evangelist read from the Book of Romans. He quoted Mark, John and Luke to the vice-president’s son, who held hands, repented his sins, and proclaimed Jesus Christ as his saviour.

Conversion and abstinence did not affect W’s machismo, however. He still swaggered and cursed constantly. When a friend accused him of taking the Lord’s name in vain, George exploded: “That’s bullshit. Total bullshit.”

Whether talking to reporters, congressmen, or heads of state, George made no effort to curb his trash mouth. Israel’s prime minister Ariel Sharon was taken aback to hear, “I said you were a man of peace. I want you to know I took immense crap for that.”

Those closest to George agreed that the key to his new persona lay in his steely discipline. His sister Doro described him as a fat boy who deprived himself to stay thin. His mother depicted a drinker who denied himself to stay dry. Both acknowledged that the effort to control these appetites was monumental.

In order to maintain his rigid discipline, George imposed an inflexible order on his life. Like any addict in recovery, he needed a regular schedule, rising early and retiring early. He prayed daily from his One-Year Bible, which was divided into 365 readings, each from the New Testament, the Old Testament, Psalms and Proverbs.

Edgy and impatient, he exercised at least one hour, sometimes two hours, a day. With martinet punctuality, he started and ended meetings exactly on time. The routine became the core of his developing political career, first as governor of Texas and then as president.

He refused to read memos longer than two pages. He thrived on making quick decisions. His religiosity allowed him to live in a black-and-white world of absolutes with no bedevilling in-betweens. His decisiveness sprang from his need to control and to establish order amid chaos. Once he made a decision, he rarely looked back.

Despite his quick temper, he was capable of nice gestures, as he showed on the presidential trail. Ruth Gilson, an estate agent, recalled a touching moment during a $1,000-a-head fundraiser in a Washington hotel in 1999.

She was one of very few women to attend the event. “All the men looked to be lobbyists in expensive suits with huge stomachs. The room filled up fast and we were all squished together. I was at the front of the rope line. A little old lady about 85 years old crept in beside me. She said she needed to see the governor. ‘I just have to talk to him,’ she said.”

The elderly woman was frail and wearing clothes that looked worn and dated. “She looked like a church lady from the 1950s.”

George W arrived and started working the crowd. The old lady stepped forward and asked if she could say something.

He reached out and took her hand. She whispered in his ear to please do something about the price of prescription drugs for the elderly.

He nodded. “I’ll try,” he said. Then he stepped back to look at her. “Did you pay $1,000 to come here?” “Yes, sir, I did.”

“Well, I want you to get your money back.” He turned to the man with him. “Get her name and address and see that she gets a cheque for $1,000.”

The little old lady shook her head. “No, I want you to have it all, Mr Bush. I want you to win.”

“Well,” said George. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll keep $100 and you keep $900 and we’ll both win. That’s what we’ll do.”

She smiled gratefully.

“It was such a sweet gesture on his part,” recalled Gilson. “Others might have seen it as patronising, but I didn’t. In a crowd of fat-cat lobbyists that little woman in her tattered coat looked like someone’s poor grandmother, and he responded sensitively.”

Extracted from The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty by Kitty Kelley.

Cocaine Resources
When Is It Best to Take Crack Cocaine?
Bush Tars Drug Takers With Aiding Terrorists

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Hail the the Thief and Cocaine Snorter!

Today is so gorgeous feeling the sunshine. It is wonderful to have someone to share the walk without much wind! On our walk to have brunch this morning, Muffy and I noticed chemtrails in the sky. She was mentioning how chemtrails are used to help the powers that be see everything better especially since today is the inaguration of our great dicktater!
I thought you might wonder why presidents with ADD might like the lift they get with Coke!

by the way, I've never touched the stuff....adderall works fine and is not addictive
enjoy this essay:

The Republican Cocaine Candidate
Did GOP presidential candidate George W. Bush use Cocaine?

Republican Cokehead leads the GOP Pack
Republican GOP candidate for president Texas Governor George W. Bush refuses to answer the question about his prior use of Cocaine. Every other Republican candidate have all said the never used cocaine except George W. Bush. Why does he refuse to deny he's used cocaine? Probably because George W. Bush actually did cocaine. If Bush didn't use cocaine he'd say he didn't use cocaine.

The Republican party has always positioned themselves as having the moral high ground and saying that character counts. The look down their noses at the morally inferior knowing that the judgement of God is going to send the sinners to hell. But in spite of the Bush cocaine connection, the GOP still backs Bush as their leading candidate. It would appear the the Republican moral convictions and the character issue is so much bull. These issues only apply to Democrats. If you're a Republican you can be a drunk cocaine using womanizer and that's just dandy.

Why I can't support a cocaine user for president
Unlike Marajauna, cocaine is a highly addictive drug that has ruined the lives of millions of people. Cocaine is almost as addictive as Cigarettes and is highly illegal. America is trying to crack down (excuse the pun) on cocaine productions in Columbia. What are the Columbia drug lords going to say if we elect a president who's been snorting coke? Are they going to laugh at us? You bet they are!

A president who has used Cocaine sends the wrong message to the Columbian Drug Lords

And what kind of example does it set for kids growing up in poor neighborhoods? After all, if the president is kool then why isn't it kool for them to do it too? This sends the wrong message in a big way. I wouldn't vote for a cigarette smoker for president let alone someone who does coke. The president is someone who should not be into dangerous drugs, and cocaine is a dangerous drug.

If he would just admit it
Texas Governor George W. Bush shouldn't hide this from the voters. Do we have a right to know? No we don't. Does he have a right to keep his drug use private? Yes he does. Do we have a right to vote him out for not talking? Yes we do. So George, if you didn't use cocaine, just come out and say it and put this issue behind you.

There is a posibility that if Bush admitted he used cocaine that I wouldn't exclude him on that point alone. First of all it would have had to have been a long time ago. He would then have to totally denounce its use and explain why he did it. He would have to make me feel confident he was never going to do it again. It's like Betty Ford and her alcohol treatment center. It didn't count against her because she turned it around and made something positive out of it. But we can't begin until Bush admits he has had a problem.

Republican's just talk morals
The GOP is setting a bad example for the youth of America by endorsing a coke freak for president. It sends the message that winning is all that matters and that even though he abuses drugs, he's better than all the other Republican candidates. If this is the best the Republican can offer, they're playing an empty hand.

The Republicans get all high and mighty about their moral values and the character issue. during the impeachment of President Clinton they thought what Clinton did demanded he be thrown out of office, and Clinton didn't even actually go all the way. But where was the moral outrage when it was uncovered that Henry Hyde not only went all the way, but broke up a family. Or when Helen Chenowith had an affair? Or when Bob Barr paid for his wife to get an abortion? Dan Burton had affairs with about 20 women. Newt Gingrich was doing one of his staffers and was charging hookers on his credit card. And Bob Livingston had so many affairs he made a deal with Larry Flint not to publish it if he resigned. It looks like the Republicans are having more sex and doing more drugs than the Democrats.

Republicans don't insist on morals when it's one of their own. Their higher standard applies only to other people.

But God forgives Republicans and you don't hear the cry for these sinners to step down. That's because the only thing that means anything to the GOP is winning the elections, no matter what they have to do. They'll shut down the government, deny us health care protection, squander out tax money but cutting taxes for the rich. Whatever it takes to win is the Republican platform. Even if it means embracing cocaine.

"There are few clear areas in which we as a society must rise up united and express our intolerance. The most obvious now is drugs. And when that first cocaine was smuggled in on a ship, it may as well have been a deadly bacteria, so much has it hurt the body, the soul of our country. And there is much to be done and to be said, but take my word for it: This scourge will stop." - President Bush in his 1989 Inaugural Address

This is going to be an interesting election year indeed. Al Gore, although dull, is squeaky clean. Where George Bush is more charasmatic, but has quite the past. Will Christian Republicans turn their backs on Jesus, their morals, and their convictions and support a cocaine user for president? Sure they will.

Cocaine Connection not new to Bush Family
In spite of President Bush's 1989 Inaugural Address, during the Reagan/Bush administration Oliver North secretly used the CIA to ship arms to the contras. In order to fund this operation they imported crack cocaine that was distributed in the Los Angeles area and was responsible for massive drug addiction and resulted in increased gang activity. Although Bush has always claimed he was "out of the loop" I have a hard time believing that neither he nor Reagan knew what was going on.

"Dark Alliance" was originally the title of a series of newspaper articles by San Jose Mercury reporter Gary Webb (August 18, 1996). It had a strong lead, a powerful introduction, and it's still an accurate summary of the story.

"For the better part of a decade, a Bay Area drug ring sold tons of cocaine to the Crips and Bloods street gangs of Los Angeles and funneled millions in drug profits to a Latin American guerilla army run by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, a Mercury News investigation has found. This drug network, federal records show, opened the first pipeline between Colombia's cocaine cartels and black neighborhoods of Los Angeles, a city now known as the crack capital of the world. The cocaine it brought into the United States fueled the crack explosion in urban America and the simultaneous rise to power of the murderous gangs of black L.A."

Did the Nicaraguan Contras really use cash from cocaine sold in the US? Did CIA- sanctioned Nicaraguan drug smugglers flood the inner cities of America with crack cocaine? The answer to both questions is Yes.

In its new book-length incarnation, Dark Alliance by Gary Webb is a heavily referenced history of how the CIA engineered the high-volume U.S. cocaine invasion in the 1980s. This is a classic market study. Saturate the market with low-cost cocaine. Produce mass market "crack" in South Central Los Angeles. Make big bucks. Go to jail (if you're not protected by a high-level CIA coverup.)

Important Related Links

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Salem Witch Trials

I thought more like the Salem white trash trials. When you go to court in a small Missouri town of about 10K (?) and see the down and out rural poor of generally young, under 30 folks, there is a great tendency to worry about the future. Most of the folks were awaiting time with the judge for various alleged offenses most having the look of nervous aprehension about what the judge would say.

It was nice to be ahead of the crowd having the benefit of a lawyer meeting him about 15 minutes early to confirm the good news! I had to admit guilt in front of the judge for only paraphanelia but reluctant to say guilty so my lawyer said it for me. I was looking into the judge's eyes just happy to not have to worry about this anymore and for the black cloud to be lifted from the my brain cluttered with the cob webs of time and sadness. I paid the whole charge of $411 for court costs and the police defense fund.(I would love for those out there in cyberville with expendable captital out to help pay for the Garvald defense fund to make Marijuana legal! I was almost thinking that I might be actually be fighting these charges for posession in court with delusions of taking it all the way to the supreme court like Roe did to help women have a choice). Prepaid legal found me a good lawyer who has good communication with the prosecutor.

I was sad for these peoples' lives that probably do not have much future when they get old and lose all their teeth from crank.
No wonder that I get depressed even after coming out of the "trial" with 6 months of unsupervised probation. I told Muffy that she could supervise me!

I was thinking worst case scenario...and being in the news...

Teacher accused of drinking, smoking pot with students

Originally posted on: Thursday, April 07, 2005 by The Associated PressLast updated on: 4/7/2005 12:34:46 PM
VENICE — A Venice high school math teacher is on administrative leave after he was arrested for allegedly giving two students vodka drinks and smoking marijuana with them.
Sheriff's officials say 34-year-old Michael Ziemian also showed the girls how he was growing marijuana in his garage.
He was arrested and released from jail yesterday after posting $40,000 bail.
His wife who is an elementary school teacher is also on administrative leave. She has not been charged.
The students say they went to Ziemian's home in March to make up some school work. He then gave them vodka-and-tonic drinks and smoked marijuana with them from a glass pipe.
A sheriff's report says Ziemian admitted giving the girls vodka and marijuana."

Then I am happy when I think of escaping to our home in paradise!