Sunday, December 12, 2004


I slept really well last night bored with going out into the exciting night life of Okc (not). So I enjoyed the free beer at Mikes from 8-9 and thought that will I have more motivation after a power nap. After laying down on the matress, I thought that it's not worth the effort so I'll just watch this DVD on the "founder" of underground comics, Robert Crumb. He came from a dysfunctional home in the 50's and 60's and started drawing pictures of everyone from his very bizarre perspective on people drawing them with exaggerations of certain features so that their personality will come out. (I'd love to see his caricature of Bush but seeing him dressed in the manger as one of the three wise (?) kings in Madame Tussaud's along with Tony Blair and Samuel Jackson made my evening. Dan Rather had a good chuckle at the end of his broadcast. Bush looked like a real clown with the hat he had on his constipated face.)

I have a little writer's block today so I'm not sure what to write having said everything about Friday's volcanic eruption in the neighborhood. Today is beautiful and sunny enjoying a walk around the expanding hood with houses popping up like the diarrhea of Bubburban sprawl. Nearly every house had a bubbamobile parked by it or in the garage. Now there is very little space left as developers are good at using up every square inch of this square mile. They have finally started developing in the neighboring square mile of Canadian County with high dollar homes calling the subdivion, "Tara".

"Oh Ashley, don't leave me in this redneck state!"

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn about you staying here in this state of ignorance!"

(trying a little humor after all the trauma)

My birthday is coming up and I wish that I was only turning 29 instead of 49!!! That is so depressing. Only 11 years until I'm 60 and wondering when I will finally reach my peak of self actualization. When will this book and Okiementary of an escape from the comfort zone of mundanity have some sort of form to be published? I hope that writing will be also my escape and my source of strength as I come to accept my own mortality realizing that if I live to 98 half of my life is over. There are so many things that I need to do for my own growth. I need to plan more and get a type of daily ritual that will help me get more out of each day. I do have many regrets wishing that I could live life over seeing so many fuckups that have happened and then to be punished by more (i.e. to walk across the street and then be yelled at by an emotionally disturbed adult with threats of weapons of mortal destruction). I will to not be intimidated and make the choices so as to avoid these kinds of situations.

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