Saturday, October 02, 2004

Coffee, green tea or me?

I am excited that there were over a 100 clicks on this site in the last 24 hours! Thank you, readers, friends, Romans, and Okies. Lend me your ears for a cup of coffee! I am still very intimidated by puters but I am so glad that others are doing some avid reading of this site. With 85 posts, it is getting close to having enough for a small book, but I have not made any efforts to get a hold of some magazine that might like this everyday journal of a man suffering from ADD. I understand that so many of us have different degrees of processing enough so that it sets us apart from others. With me, it might appear to others especially in the environment of a pub that I am aloof or in my own world. I guess sometimes I am in this place to hibernate and figure out really what I want to do with the rest of my life before I get out there in the cold world of violence, agression, anger, opression, pollution, cigarette smoke blown in your face by angry female cigarette addicts and domination of others.

It would be so nice to just wake up on my own private beach and run down to the ocean and get the rejuvenating feeling of the life giving water on my body. My only fear being sharks and blue bottles (those would hurt as a child when these tiny little animals,related to the jellyfish, would wrap their long stinging tentacles around you.) Now its hard to just put on a suit and run outside to go for a swim. That was the nice thing about my apartment in KC last year. It had a pool open till October to swim laps in just downstairs from me. People thought of me strange to want to swim in 65 degree water! Swimming helps my back so much and loosens up my neck to self pop it.(I just popped it then and it is such a relief when I do that. The way my neck feels stiff in the am depends so much on way I had been sleeping on the pillows!)

With the few readers that I have, you have just experienced my own "stream of conciousness". (I use parentheses to show little sidetracks of my own mind when it is going off on a tangent that might not really relate to the topic at hand). James Joyce, the most famous Irish author used this flow of thought when he wrote about Bloom in "Ulysees". Everything that was going on in his mind was shared with the readers. There is not the normal organization of an essay when you are thinking especially if you have symptoms of ADD. The mind can easily go from one channel to the next and easily tune out the distractions of the outside world when you are thinking.
(I've been writing for over an hour and then the puter froze up...I almost wonder if Bubba and the right wing neo-conservative conspiracy had something to do with it! Just kidding. You would really think I was crazy then. Some of my best writing just went up in cybespace heaven (:. Maybe I ought to break down and spend an extra 30$ to have DSL like Muffy does and drop this aol. I would lose a lot of things in the change, but oh well. Aol wants 23$ a month for bullshit! Plus Aol only had a 6% advantage to Kerry for the debate verses 16% on the Gallup poll. Are there a lot of "soccer moms" on the puter who are staunch Republicans still thinking that Bush can not fuck up Iraq more than he has already?) 'scuse the French!)

I wish that I could have pushed save when I went to the word perfect because AOL caused the whole puter to freeze up!

Back to this lady with Auspergers, Dawn Prince-Hughes . This is an excerpt from her book:

"This is a book about autism. Specifically, it is about my autism, which is both like and unlike other people's autism. But just as much, it is a story about how I emerged from the darkness of it into the beauty of it."

It is so amazing how she overcame her own processing and emotional difficulties. She wrote a book about it just as I have been thinking for 20 years to write a book and then realizing my own difficulties relating to people (esp. rednecks and women just before "Aunt Flo") There is another lady who invented a way for cattle to be euthanized peacefully before being slaughtered who has much more severe autism. I wish that I could remember her name but she was on NPR a few years ago and she was very much different and had much more severe autism in regards to relating to people. She would never smile and approached things almost the way "Dr. Spock" would on the old "Star Trek" show.

Now the coffee (no addaboy yet today and its only a small amount of the tablet which lasts a weeks since it comes out to over 3$ a pill without the major medical. Don't get me started on these greedy pharmaceutical companies!) has kick started my digestive tract but I might continue this later and see if Golda (platonic friend) wants to take a walk and enjoy this beautiful brisk autumn day!

"C" asked a frequently asked question:
c: Garvald how did you determine that you have add? Ever any prof. help or diagnosis?

Ive been talkiing to others , even another science teacher a few years ago who started taking addrall and it was like putting on glasses. As I've said before in my essays, Mom would always say all through school and college in her high Australian accent,
"Garvald, All your teachers have said that you are very intelligent, but why don't you just listen?"
"What did you just say, Mom?"

That was long before ADD was a common diagnosis and others throughout school and life would say that I was in my own little world or be a space cadet. My 3rd grade teacher, seriously thought that I had a hearing problem and so had me tested. My hearing was fine and I had a high IQ. There were some testers to come in and tested my intelligence because I believe that I was alot higher on the relative bell curve then easily acing all those multiple choice tests in 6th grade. I could even beat my father in chess at 10.
I believe the poor American diet affected my intelligence in later years but I can still play a pretty good game of chess if I'm focused.
About 10 to 15 years ago, Time Magazine came out with an article about ADD and all the famous people throughout history including Da Vinci, Einstein, and Edison had symptoms of the condition. I dwelled on it for many years. I went into teaching kids with processing difficulties and saw the similarities between the children and myself as a child. After talking to many adults with it and Muffy's very strong (nagging) encouragement I went to the Dr. He without question gave me some different meds to try and adderall was the best for me. Both of us saw immediate improvements and I was not so overwhelmed with all the Ieps (individual education plans)and all the "no child left behind bullshit" brought on by Bubba Bush (don't get me started on how test scores have to improve even with special ed kids that cannot even read so they just fill in bubbles on the "multiple guess tests" that dominate this country.)

Muffy wouldn't lose patience with mewhen I didnt have to ask her for the third time what she just said. During the summer and while I'm on sabbatical I find it helpful when I dont take all of the tablet but just a small portion when I have a task that needs to get done.
I hope this answered your question, C, whomever you are? Girls and the caller Id syndrome~! Don't get me started!

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