Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Establishing Garvald

U know about changing names to protect the guilty, well I'm changing my name eventually to protect my ass from anyone serving me papers (thats why i gotta find some aussie girl to help get my greencard to escape from the Okie zone to Australia...from being landlocked verses the beatiful waves beckoning "Garvald" as he runs naked on the nude beaches of Byron Bay head first like hes some midlife adolescent who refuses to grow up!!!...to be still a kid instead of an old fat bald bloke and I would think as a youngster, what a Bloody old Perv!
bloke (but some Sheilas think Im cute!).....but cept for my bloody impending back surgery if the Bloody Chiro wont make my paralyzed rt arm stops its tingl
Garvald has arrived since Sunday in the zone of OK.....enjoying or soon starving for intellectual conversation in local pubs(Bumpys and IHOPS)......He has managed to soon irritate some local Benchmarks of the establishment in his search for intellectual challenge beyond the trivia game they were addicted to....Larrry is the Champ with 3 little puter games in front of him....Garvald sometimes in his ADD moment shouts out the answers and get angry stares from an Ellen Degeneres fan and a jr. Schwarzanegger wannabee ...

Garvald asks the green bartender with an impish grin,
"YOU WANNA A PICTURE ? IT WILL LAST LONGER!"
He menacingly glares at Garvald with his young youthful redneck testosterone and has empowering thoughts of throwing him out or "opening a can a whoopass on him!"

So Garvald avoid his and Ellen's gaze....
But the great news about "bumpys" is there are a few single male establishments(people actually) that Garvald has thoughts of them as veritable institutions in surving with and without a woman ....Jack Offen, John, and Frank....He even bought jack and Frank drinks!
they were all toasting another website, "tight ass.com"

Earlier, I was visiting Dave,who is suffering from knee difficulties from surgery (yesterday morn). Unfortunately, he was in an irate mood and was in no mood for Garvald's jovial mood and very dry sense of humor. Garvald comes out after a few bowls.
"!"You have no control of Garvald!"
He menacingly points his middle finger at me and stares at me like I have split personalities like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Cannabis!
Fred (me) realizes that he has to take control of Garvald especially when under the influence of the magic hemp. Garvald does not realize that many are not in the mood for his mindless ramblings,especially Muffy!




OH AND BY THE WAY, STEVE IS THE BEST BARTENDER IN THE WORLD!




Saturday, July 24, 2004

Bipolar Blues



Sometimes, I wonder what the point is in having a relationship when all your freedom is taken away,
but on the other hand you might have someone to talk to...
if they will listen
and if its worth the aggravation
too many frequent arguments that you do your best to avoid.
Sometimes, I wonder ...



Ok I see this pic of Misha Barton when I do a search for long blonde hippies and it brings back all the memories of the hippy chick picking me up in her old car with the baby in the back
she is so fresh...
we immediately start making out
and I'm so happy to suddenly to be thrust back into the most magical relationship...
was I used??
Her daughter called me Daddy...
I could have so easily had the family with her...
if that awful weekend of Mommie dearest didn't happen..
don't get me started...
we would get high together and even introduced me to her world
(and her insatiable nymphomaniac desires to make love)

Ok it's a few years later....and I'm happily married....but I have the confession (?) and all my exs know that I'm guilty of it ...at least looking...I don't generally fool around but I must confess that I look and flirt...oh well....

I wonder about the curse she gave that night of her Misery...

and our beautiful sunset in the Rockies an hour later mountain time

from a woman who hated as passionately as she loved...

we did not have closure..

so she just burned my old grey socks in the midsummer

"Voodoo, it is!"

...did she really burn those gray socks with the green stripes???

It appears to only make this ever evolving story of my life and those involved even more intriguing...


Friday, July 23, 2004

feelin funky

This summer is flying by and its my own fault or partly ADD that I havent pursued work. I often get these bouts of depression but I have read of these symptoms of feeling like one has so much potential and then paralyzed into inaction. There are so many things that I have to do and then being overwhelmed into doing nothing. I had a small amount of the Adderall and I notice how Im motivated into doing more things, but I hate having to be dependent on medication. I know its sounds hypocritical when I really do enjoy doing the cannabis medication (Ive limited that cuz Im running really low ): and that does help my creativity and sense of humor but when I feel funky, it often accentuates the funkiness :(...
I woke up in real pain with my back but the bone breaker intern had actually helped! Muffy and I had a great day at her parents beautiful backyard pool and then Muffy asked where I got my weed from . It was from her and so she grabs it and starts yelling at me that I still owe her for all I owe for doin my laundry. One of my rules im finally learning is not to trade bud for laundry (esp with your girlfriend)..
Girlfriends and mothers are good for remembering everything since you met them or in ur mothers case since u were conceived!

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Lance Armstrong

   Lance serves as an inspiration for all blokes that feel sorry for themselves and enjoy wallowing in their own self pity. I worry that in 11 & 1/2 years Ill be 60 and will be too old to enjoy flirtin with 20 somethin babes.  Hes goin up this incredible French Mt.,Alpe de Huez with bipolar comedians such as Robin Williams serving occasionally as commentary.  I wonder if I could have been as famous as him if I was manic depressive instead of just ADD.
Im sure he processes alot better than I do but Muffy thinks Im funny sometimes but Im no Jim Carey, besides not being a good writer (she even beat me at scrabble even though I knew some words she didnt know such as raj, mung, lilt and toreador but I was hopin it would have been spelled "torrid or" so I could have had all those points when I added the or!)
   I still have to head back to my house in Oklahoma and pick up my rent (only gettin half my mortgage ): and decide whether to stay there and vegatize, cannabize and wallow in these delusions of grandeur of actually gettin rich and famous from this book, but I need to wait until my chiro will help my back feel better for the ride to the Okiezone.  Its feelin better finally after seeing him but but my right still tingles because of the compression of all these vertebrae.  Maybe if I had hung upside down for an hour every day I wouldnt have such a miserably degenerated back.  When I head there I can at least watch TV without pissing off Muffy's 13 year old daughter for just bein there.  U should see the negative vibes these little daughters give off.  Is that when girls learn how to be mean without even saying anything?  I have yet to hit it off with any of my gfs daughters or mothers but I do a lot better with sons and male administrators.
   Well I wonder if I should go into some of these trials with women but its important that I keep a sense of humor about it so maybe I should smoke a few bowls before I write some more or watch lance in these time trials before the 13 year old gets back and lays on the bad vibes.


Tuesday, July 20, 2004

CASINO ROYALE

Back hurtin worse than ever after a fitful sleep and nightmare (i think one of my ex-gfs was hittin me :(....so i was starting to scream out load but it sounded like a depressing moan like the Lee Summit train....
Muffy did a great imitation of it "awwhhhh" (wish I was better with sound
phonetics)...wow just turned my neck just right and now I feel a lot better after poppin my neckbefore I have to pay the 531$ bill to Firestone!    (what a nightmare)...by the way, my reality check, Muffy had a nightmare but I didnt hear her scream. Muffy was afraid of getting raped in her dream.
Its so strange both of us having scary nightmares at the same night.  
 It was such a muggy night down by the river at Casino Royale (Isle  of Capri) losin 200$ in my idiotic thinkin that Ive been lucky the last few visits but not 200$ lucky.(I just told this to Muffy and I know shes gonna use it in an an argument or when she wants rent).
     Sometimes its embarrassing when u have the gambling desire to just win ur money back and ull quit.  Well, do u wanna hear my process of how Im gonna get it back?  (Muffy would be reading this and saying what are u wasting ur time with this shit for? Its amusing to see her critical eye look at this knowing that she reads "The Federalist papers" for leisure!!~
So back to the process of losing...I was up 120$ at first at the craps table and that was enough to pay for the first visit to the back cracker and I should have quit but I was greedy for a comp lunch and by that time I was back to even and breaking into my initial 200$  that I started with at the craps table. I eat the free lunch (there's really no free lunch!) and then plot how I'll win the 120$ back and before I know it Im down to 50!
  So I quit the craps and look for the cheapest blackjack where they only have a 3$ minimum (thats why I like Vegas better cuz they have the 1$ tables and lose slower and get free booze so if u break even u have a free buzz :)   and Ive almost won the money back....only 25 short ....by midnight im breaking my next 100 and I win for a little while and then Im down to   50$ and angry at the dealer that didnt seem to like me winning so I left back to craps and slowly but surely won some of it back and then deciding to leave on a good note and another  comp from the deli...so that way I dont feel like a total loser ....so whats the point of all this ??  
   Gambling sucks when u lose but u should at least get a meal out of it :)
So now Im determined to win it back today after I pay 453$ to firestone and visit the bonecracker...u h oh , Muffy's darling 13 year old daughter is back so Im outta here!


 


Monday, July 19, 2004

531$ for brakes!

maybe i should go Argosy and win my 531$ ....calipers are expensive for an Infinity
I guess gotta get outta here cuzz Muffy's 13 yr old daughter hates me because Im fat, bald and old (but at least Im cute) oh and Im a slob but this little girl suffer from SBS (spoiled brat syndrome) and leaves messes everywhere for angry Mom to pick up after and then I get yelled at cuz im still in a house payin rent....why is $$ always a sore spot for most women no matter how much u give out, its still not enough and then they throw the "{cheap bastard routine" even though u pay for most everything
especially when u go out and then get yelled at for not leavin enough tip to some of these bartendresses that make at least twice as much as teachers with most of it tax free
    I guess the worst insult in America is bein called wierd, cheap or a perv
U cant defend urself...ur beaten in Yankee culture before u even open ur mouth....thats why I wanna go to Australia where they dont tip unless the bartendress ocassionally smiles

 

sleepless in Lees Summit

Its 530 am and cant fall back to sleep esp when my bed partner is upset with my insomnia or when I fall asleep maybe I snore? 
Now you are listening to my sober self after watching Diane Lane in "Tuscany" where she figures that he has to fix up her villa (home)  before she will be in the right frame of life to deal with a lover, companion, soulmate...sometimes, that I think that I have  to fix up me and self actualize before Im ready to be with the woman i'll grow old with...but in 12 years Ill be 60 so I better hurry up, get some sleep and get off my fat ass and look for an emotiionally disturbed teaching job where there arent anal administrators always bitchin about somethin....dont get me started on what a pain female bosses can be...especially if ur crashin in their  home
and causing them lost rems also ):



Sunday, July 18, 2004

kansas city here I came

Well now Im not sure what I should say on this website especially since I have a little buzz but I am so excited about this new site.  I know that I might piss off a few readers but that is the intent to get a little notoriety and have it as the launching pad for my 6 or 7 figure book.
    The ire of the audience will be the muse or affect the ebb and flow of what I write.  From this rough conglomerate will be the book??...
Excuse me, but you will have to forgive this rambling stream of conciousness from an emotionally disturbed teacher with ADD, in order to take in this boverall (spelling might be off).
     It is the middle of summer now currently in this state of homeless  unemployed limbo while I figure if I wanna start teaching in August or go on hiatus despite the ire of my girlfriend.  I have a house in Oklahoma that Im renting for half the mortgage and I just moved out of the apartment last month  .....  u dont wanna hear this crap!
   So this website is a very rough draft of the type of shit that might go in my book and you, the audience can be my editors!!  How do u like that?
Ok, what kind of shit will go in here?
Muffy (im changing the names to protect the guilty_) says I should write the rough draft before I let John Q Public see it...I say let it out there as the thoughts arise and let u readers tell me what u think.
Well, I gotta have an outline (she says beside the fact that Im a lousy writer)so I'll give an idea for some of the topics...
1. right wing fundamentalists that vote the way their preacher tells them to
a. close minded thinking and Sunday Christians
2. the ever widening schism between the sexes
3. dating before and after caller ID
4. whether u should smoke any weed before u  have to do any heavy thinking or moving especially if ur dating someone with no tolerance for stupidity or mental incompetence
5. cannabis and ADD (several movies goin on in ur brain verses 50)...which is cooler?
6. ADD and the emotionally disturbed teacher in Kansas city schools
7.  How attention deficit disorder affects relationships and ur sense of humor