in a couple of days we will tie the knot....Im so happy that Ill be able to get my darling on our health plan...
Its beginning to scare me about all the responsibilities, but I just have the faith that it will be so wonderful
another adventure and purpose for life...bringing up our little chess players!

Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following.../

Maybe if I had some of my friend's charm and manipulative powers , we could have done wonders at this school, but at this point, I am burnt out with all the worries ahead of me...
and of course my inability to attend to them...I am my own worst enemy, although the year would have gone much smoother for us and the unfortunate administrator of the school... Oh well

I wonder if my good friend J has read the "48 Laws of Power"???

unfortunately the drama club appears to be fizzling, but Im still counting on the performers to come together...
The reality of being a father has not sunk in yet with both my muse and me..
We are heading for Vegas and will probably have to take Buffy..

.I hope that we can smuggle her into the room or??? we have to leave her here?
ohh, all these decisions while I plunge into matrimony!!!???

again seeing how the year is flashing by even faster...
worries of J at this point seem so insignificat to figuring out how he and her can spend the next few glorious years in Oz?
so he makes a little late night coffee/instant cappucino with some local flavored life giving honey...
to increase his thinking level before he sinks off to dreamland,,,,,and enjoy the buzz of the evening after making love to his muse...

they both

I am excited but at the same time very nervous!! I was telling Mary about how everything else is petty compared to the future of having a family in the land Of Oz!!!
We are going to Vegas but the mean time we have to find somebody to take care of Buffy...we will be so overwhelmed by the paperwork...I dread sending checks...Its almost like I need to hire a full time accountant to help with all of it!!! My add and old age oltimers!!!
but then there is a little bit of the age difference but that hasnt stop me before!!
then the pettiness of the politics of this younger generation of nozy Nazi teachers with their greed for power and control...
They want to plan and hope that their obstacles will be gone from their total domination of the school...
and then jesus koresh starts his own community of grape drinkers in some south american country...

so he asks in a meeting of the four of us special ed teachers,
Garv, I hope you dont think me rudo or impetuous...
but are you coming back next year?"

"I havent decided yet..."
20-20 hindsight , I would have said, "none of your business or yes it is rude and impestuos and I dont like nosy teachers getting into my business."

"Sometimes we need to look to those we love and admire in order to realize what we value about life. We can take time to note what we like about others, and then turn the mirror to reflect the light of those same words and feelings toward ourselves. It can be quite a revelation to see ourselves in this nourishing light. When we can put the energy that we’ve been devoting to a phantom sense of achievement into the truly satisfying aspects of our lives, we can restore the balance between our inner and outer worlds and experience true joyful peace. "

Im often my own my worst enemy...I see all the positives that I do and then let them get spoiled by my temper and how J can turn all referals around to suit him...
Why should I worry???
Im gonna be a father and this asshole is the least of my worries...I guess you love to just hate some folks...
Im sure my x's feel the same way...
It is so hard to harness the feelings of the long term reality suddenly of having a family...
....we need to go to Vegas to cement our future family together, get major medical and have the baby in Oz!!

I guess you often get what you wish for...Im gonna be a daddy at such a late age....the responsibilities and the bipolar hormones that come into action between the fine lines of love hate and 60 mile an hour windss....
We have been together 2/3rds of a year...and suddenly over the weekend , the cabin stirring of my muse has enough and wants to go...all the trepidations and second thoughts about everything...and you wonder if she'll come with your on flight to the stars!



all the negativity of the Navaho nation seems to be compounded in this little area....and its stirred up the Rovian tactics of our resident Jesus.

I know that Im such a chintzy ass and thats probably the reason amongst many to break up with me ...my history of relationships...suddenly a newly discovered state of middle age....an aging stoner....
Anthony gets a kick out of seeing me portray a stoned hippy principal....chatting with a new student from the south....ala the late Hunter s Thompson stye..

"Hey no PDAS kids!! get a room!...just kidding....stay cooll,,,wait till after school...we dont want any unplanned conceptions on school property..." (he smiles at them with a paternal look of kids just being kids and high 5's them with a fist knock...he was a rebellious child growing up with very controlling parents).....

Our team tied for second place with our favorite rival school! Bruce does such a great job helping me out as the tournament director! We have qualified for the state meet again but I am actually going to the state meet with the kids...I was very proud of my students and running a very good tournament!

It was funny actually not getting excited about our team doing well but they did magnificently playing excellent chess!

all the worries of school left when we started our chess fest! I was excited about the principal coming and Dr. Simms classroom come to watch! I loved when my muse came down with $50 worth of pop, ice and cookies...she just wanted us to treat them as any good host would do......and then the other students were grabbing them...

I need to chat with you at least for 5 minutes while the years accelerate b y.... take a picture of my life in my daily struggles to maintain discipline in regards to behavior...dealing with the continual manipulations by J.... parents angry about a discipline referal. because the 18 year old only attends 3 of my classes..
(it was nice knowing on Friday that the student had a good lecture from my matriarchal sped director...He was behaving today , but skipped my class again today....the other bloke that I wrote up was still not behaving....running around the halls happy as can be that he could be justified for his behavior by J...) last night J amazingly gets involved with the father and the ....
no one has the audacity to question his motives to this egomaniacs' face...

well...time flies by so quickly and we need to take the bull by the horns!! there is so much to do and set out the coursework to create our happiness in the Land Of OZ....suddenly he sees a vision of what happiness could be on the beach with his soulmate...the carrier of his seed and the seal to their future together!

It is so nice to get away from the Rez for a weekend to see a friend and finally pick up a little herb tomorrow morning! It has been so long...I realize how it helps you escape to the monotony of our day to day existence...my young friend resigned from the school in the middle of the year with all the turmoil and pressure created in the district from Bush's no child left behind.
I heard many school districts are having the same pressures put on teachers and especially administrators losing their heads more than the sad nobles who crossed the demented Henry the 8th!
I have been watching the Tudors and it reminds me of how power hungry some folks are... The faux Jesus in our special ed department now crossed the sped director in his pursuit of domination of the school.. She lost her temper with him in his unconcienable desire to do what ever he likes regardless of whose toes he steps on... I'm glad that I wasn't in his way. He is only about 29 and will take no prisoners, disguising himself as a peaceful hippy with a knife hiding behind his body
.. Didn't Charles Manson act the same way?