I think I won't be able to talk to my best friend across the street if I say the wrong thing... This is my fictional diary, so please don't put too much into how I might offend thee..   we are all living creatures and there's a reason  y we are living... Our desire is to get along, but sometimes.... We just want to be ourselves so we feel much safer..        and then we come out of our caves , wave to our friends... take my dog for a quick run.

 Head to library , blogging or stupidly getting hooked to a very rigged  backgammon ... As if you are gambling.. tomorrow I will make a list, get my irs refund and figure out my insurance for new job..
. Don't get down, G! Morosely morbid over the finity  our existence on earth... OK sometime we can go to church together... But please don't take what I write personally , develop ur sense of humor.

 U know life is short!

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i went downstairs to admire the almost full waning moon...
realizing my own mortality...
i think of a friend who had his wake up call at a much younger age
and then i get a glimmer of what my own mortality could be
when i walk across Hedges ave.
and suddenly see double with much better acuity...
it was bizarre
i closed either eye and didnt see double
but then I could walk just shutting one eye
to a chair
to see my beloved ocean one more time
and eat a halloween mini candy bar
the uneasy feeling wondering when the double image
fades away with each bite

hypoglycemia or
a mini stroke....

and I hug my son that evening
and play frisbee with my son more than i ever have
having discovered my son's new toy hidden among
the seaweed about a 100 meters out from shore...

the feelings run across my mind that night,
with frustration at my own body's fragile shell
and the necessary need to establish the bucket list....



and this Mermaid tale needs to be written!

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