second full day with my son... this is my own personal diary, but I still don't feel don't feel totally comfortable sharing my inner most thoughts when there are judge mental folks who read it and will misunderstand me just as everyone including the checkout counter who kep asking me if the assortment of apples were mine.. I kept saying yes but appeared she was more into listening herself than waiting for my answer , beside putting the food into plastic when they have paper bags... ( I worry about the environment in a state where our environmental protection agency director came from...who's more like environmental terminator agency...)   I think of all the plastic bags and platic water bottles all littered up floating on thousands of square miles of our oceeans...

we are basically thoughtless creatures as much as any other animals... my son's grandmother had a discussion with my son about how we couldn't have evolved from gorillas(apes) because they don't have souls...
that reminds me so much of my most memorable twilight zone episode about an old hillbilly with his old bloodhound and he's by a creek where he falls asleep... he wakes up with his dog thinking he's still alive and walks along the road tiill he comes up to a friendly man with his clipboard and says ,
"we were waiting for you!"
so he proceeds to walk through the gate when the gatekeeper says  ,
"Im sorry dogs aren't allowed in here."
so the old man says,
Well. Ill just keep walking with my best friend.
He walks a mile or so and then sees another man greeting him at a gate.
The old man says ,
"I aint goin in there if you don't let my old dog in too!"
The greeter said,
"We've been waiting for you both. That other gate keeper was Lucifer!"

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Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!