ok.... dokie... back to the okie zone...

or should I say back to writing to my dear friend who I share some of my most intimate thoughts with sometimes total disregard for how it can be used against me...
I have so much to do and to follow up to get the right ids and stuff to get some of these funds...
I have to get the ball rolling to get something started..

I feel frustrated, overwhelmed and then lazy, before I finally get the ball rolling and Im taking that river out past these overwhelming waves which have been pounded against me and then I get enough chance for a breath before another giant wave comes over me and I have to hold my breath and wait before I can come to the surface to exhale!!!

I was almost surprised that my x, or other half of my unconditional love for the mother of our beautiful son.., came home with a job and a new Honda Saturn ... my son wants to celebrate, so we get in her new car and she feels as territorial as Buffy does with a toy she just acquired.... and we are off and
im just apprehensive about everything... her mom is paying the insurance because Im just living on fumes from all the help and old policies ive had since I was born... I love my parents because I will always have enough and last resort, I will have to sell my homes but not until our family has grown up in both hemispheres ...
as we vicariously live through our son experiencing everything new or the novelty of everything keeps us both fresh...


so they  are off today and my son is with her... frustrated that she didn't tell me... but Ive just been taking him to the library since I cant afford wifi .... but cox has this 10$ deal... so I can write fluently and just let the stream of consciousness (ala Ulysees) and write our famous book...
my benefactor, LA, has been my muse and it seems like the magic of writing happens so much more easily than this "evil" entity called facebook... (which we fear will store all of our personal info for some Russian hacker to take and possibly use against me if I run for political office (just kidding, I would get shot by a redneck gun carrying NRA disgruntled by my writing, or they burn my home down again because of the human trait of pure malicious hate (:... whoa... u know again my feelings of the ignorant redneck that voted in GW and could somehow steal the election again maybe with the help of putin(??)... and continue this endless war that I predicted while everyone was in this nationalistic hate and desire for war..)

ok.. my  writing can be a little overwhelming, but you my friend (I hope) can peruse through all my decade of writing...

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Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!