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Showing posts from 2016
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I am treasuring each moment that Im with my son. We are sitting next to each other at the library. I am still so frustrated with another similar cycle of bad luck except it is worse, with knowing I will not see my son for 2 or 3 months because its such a far way and my old infinity will have a hard time driving 300 miles.

They are stubborn (x and her mother) and will not drive half way or even a third of the way.
My car is old so I will say you can come to my home or meet me half way.  Take it or leave it...

It is so stressful that she called my neighbor when she thought that my phone was disconnected . The neighbor had to ruin a beautiful morning , just being the messenger, and I was not in the mood for my few days to be ruined...
   better times... It is easier for me to be angry at granny for continually planning on taking my son the way she took her other son to bring up herself in her little town where she rules as the family matriarch... my son is so deep in this web that the s…
so much has happened,

I know that my neighbors will be the first to read this, probably that silly fear has intimidated me from fear of writing, especially when some folks just enjoy adding to one's misery when there is a chance... knowing that one bloke is probably still in touch with the conman builder who swindled me out of half my savings for a burned garage...:

Dear mother of my child,
I am happy that you tried to live with me for a year and our tempers would often get the best of both us. This perhaps caused us to raise our voices in front of Colin. You and Colin would qualify for low income housing in Okc and they are nice apartments close to Northridge. I would be much more obliged and happy to send you money to get started . What little I will me making averaging less than 700 per month. It will be more when I do the infrequent long term sub jobs.  This way, we can keep up his soccer and it will take months to finally get the stride in his learning that he was developing wi…

a beautiful day before the tempest of Trump and bipolar forces of nature

it was only a few votes.. again we won the popular vote as we did with Gore and Bush stealing Florida...
it just seems that the last republicans for president have been draft dodgers and criminals...
I have so many worries ahead of me even if Hillary became president...


the sun is out and I spend the morning catching up on this historic moment when our future president is a criminal, rapist, racist misogynist...
and he got the majority of the white uneducated white vote that dominates the Midwest still.. we had 2 and a half million votes for Hillary.. we thought she would be a shue in...


I have to get my chromebook fixed so I can write my Mermaid Tale...




"Human ancestor 'Lucy' was a tree climber, new evidence suggests"Evidence preserved in the internal skeletal structure of the world-famous fossil, Lucy, suggests the ancient human species frequently climbed trees, according to a new analysis by scientists from The Johns Hopkins University and The University of Texas…
I wonder what to say. I know my neighbors can check my blog and the conman builder who took 50k from me can read this.
I am depressed more than I was 12 years ago. Bush at least was the status quo and would follow directions of the repub party, which is not great, but compared to the monster who will take over January 20th, Bush is a saint!


I have so many things to discuss but the fear of judgemental readers holds me back.



I am feeling more hopeless of our country when Bush was reelected and I was stopped after coming out of a Schwagstock concert!

So many things that I want to write , but fear about the anonymity , when my neighbors know when Im writing.
. September 8th happy that my family is together just trying to live one day at a time one moment at a time life is short I love my son so much I'm at a Crossroads in my life to decide to become a teacher I write my book  it's a matter of putting several pages together and then figuring out which stories all the best and I need to get Help from My Friends even perhaps my neighbors but the judgmentalism of the human nature intimidates me more than anything I had another beautiful day with my son we went to some family therapy with a good counselor who has played a couple of family games the Dynamics would help us appreciate my ex coming back today for the sake of our beautiful son! I have to pinch myself and I'm blessed to be his father and I shouldn't be last I'm doing everything that I can with him I have to overcome that often disability of laziness....tomorrow... domani!n

the story of my life,,, sad i cant even borrow some fold up chairs for the evening :( s…
You can do voice typing I mowed my lawn finally…   I hope that pleases my neighbors here I sit broken hearted washed my dog and only farted
Practicing .. now i can Not really say what I really want to say because my neighbors are reading this and I can't feel like this I can't feel free to write uninhibited
Usain Bolt is about to run the hundred meter semi final
I want to open up but there's always somebody is judging my writing or what I'm saying I want to talk to my brother  but then I don't want to talk to my brother because he's almost like a surrogate mother slash father it and I've been meaning to talk to him but don't want to get lectured I get enough lecture from other people that I don't need I don't want to hear what I already really know… I is I love playing with him I love just knowing that he's here in our own home and I think how I was a year ago all alone except my savior Buffy

whatever...

my blog has upset many folks because this is the  only place , I feel free to write about what I honestly feel..

I made the mistake (??) of letting a few folks know about my most intimate blog...

I have lived on this street almost as long as my wonderful friend, Charles, and the other family, who has only been a pain, even when my common law wife (gf of 13  years) lived...

I could go on about the past but I won't unless it is still pertinent, because bullies and control freaks  will always be that way...

x mother in law is control freak, and others ... now because some neighbors that I did not actually want them to know my blog was running are my most avid readers...

the only thing we learn from the past is we learn nothing... or if we don't learn from it, we are doomed to repeat it...

I made many mistakes, and this blog is my intimate diary which some nosy neighbors want to keep reading.. it is my life and here it is...
if you don't like it, as Martin Luther King said …
when folks bug me about things like my lawn being an inch too high, then in the next breath tell me to let it go about a confidence man builder, wbo overcharged me 50k for the shittiest work on my place that almost burned dwon,  then took over 83rd street, talked shit about me, stayed rent free without doing any more work on my place, yet asking for 3500 , so he could make payments on his huge boat that was in my garage and his Kawasaki...  ... then I couldn't get him out of my home unless I went to court, and his sidekick, my neighbor shows up when its of course none of his busness.. the judge interrupted him on his vindictive tirade about my behavior when it had nothing to do with a builder who didn't do the work that was contracted out to him..
The judge told him to sit down and it was none of the neighbors business..

 (im sure he will call him up to tell him about this blog , because the crook is still living in this town!! stealing from other customers with his big mouth …
my bad, my very good friend didn't tell her, but sneaky malicious neighbor told her about it and whined about my dog house...

apparently he avidly reads this site
 so he can tell his confidence man, builder, who stole 55k from me...
I have a judgment served for him owing 5,000...(the builder stayed in my home rent free with me paying him 3500$) while I was gone in Oz...
instead the builder maligned me all up and down the street gaining their confidence talking shit about me and even having barbecues inviting everyone to look at my home and brag that he would just take over my home...
it is amazing the thinking and rationalizing that go on in  their heads to justify their nosy behavior and actually as far as the builder is concerned, getting away a large crime and defrauding customers, the way Trump would...


the sneaky neighbor who talks shit to anyone whom will listen , including a long list of my tenants, (and wrecked my business with them so they would walk off without paying l…

always problems... for just wanting to enjoy your habitat

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unfortunately, my best friend , divulged of my most intimate blog, that I don't even want my brother to read and of course, everyone else that knows my life and behavior, and will use it against with 5 page emails about my lawn and dog house..

they don't bother the other neighbors about any other crap,,, but one complains, and I suppose I will get a note on the door about the big dog house as a parting gift from my very helpful other neighbor...

I was given a huge essay about what I should do with my lawn and garden as far as upkeep...
it was kept track of because I had not completely finished it to the neighbors satisfaction before the last rain storm well over a fortnight ago... we are doing through a drought , but because I keep my lawn high, it has stayed greener than 90 percent of the lawns on the street...

it reminds me so much of the chair that I kept in front of my place on the beach... this angry eastern European girl believed it was her lawn, just as some folks tell …
Hi LA!  ... hope u are reading this..
I am embarrassed about my mental block with paperwork ... I do need therapy for me and my family..
the biggest obstacle is just getting started on all that paperwork, especially getting forms

Garvald clinging onto adolescent middle age or this peter pan giligan syndrome??

so much he has to do, that he would rather write or even escape even more in his mind with this very rigged backgammon..   and then perhaps he has fantasies of the universe actually rigged by a being "God"   ..uh oh..pp pass... to heavy a subject...
but he continues with this hopeful agnostic "fantasy" that there is somebody pulling the strings.. and all he wants to do is be with his son, but he has to be the good cop...

so he has to get out of his overheating cave before 2 and soak up the coolness of the library while he plugs away mindlessly on his key board.. hoping for the inspiration that will get him over this huge hump in his life of indecision... which pulls him ever forwards to old age ...
he wants to treasure his moments with his son, but his son now disrespects him after hearing that his father is a "loser" in so many words.. "he doesn't even have a job, and then is just a leach""
his dad in law, would say with his sardonic …

Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!

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Lord, or the universal energies that give you periodic signs , sometimes more and more frequently, ie. I said Baby,,, the tv says baby girl...
there's  a word I just say and the tv says it almost synchronistical...
I have so many things to do... and I wake up and I don't say wanna see all these bills , esp. gold coast rates!   1200 per month.. my tenant, Jesus, does not pay enough in rent to cover half of the bills, yet I am so poor...
aaa..... but I finally get to be with my son today, since my x bought her car and has a sales job coming up... she has been taking everywhere along with long walkabouts in the huge expanse of Okc and its white flight suburbs...
to be continued.. I really need to get a cheap wifi.. so that I know Im at least writing to you and my muse/benefactor, Leigh Anne...

hoping we will get some of this published , if whatever funds that she has helped me find like a

"TREASURE HUNT"

but the old man is too lazy to get off his ass and start filling o…

Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!

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Lord, or the universal energies that give you periodic signs , sometimes more and more frequently, ie. I said Baby,,, the tv says baby girl...
there's  a word I just say and the tv says it almost synchronistical...
I have so many things to do... and I wake up and I don't say wanna see all these bills , esp. gold coast rates!   1200 per month.. my tenant, Jesus, does not pay enough in rent to cover half of the bills, yet I am so poor...
aaa..... but I finally get to be with my son today, since my x bought her car and has a sales job coming up... she has been taking everywhere along with long walkabouts in the huge expanse of Okc and its white flight suburbs...
to be continued.. I really need to get a cheap wifi.. so that I know Im at least writing to you and my muse/benefactor, Leigh Anne...

hoping we will get some of this published , if whatever funds that she has helped me find like a

"TREASURE HUNT"

but the old man is too lazy to get off his ass and start filling o…
I had a theme that I was going to briefly tell you about while I'm on a partial escape from myself and my cave while in this currently alienated state.... back to living with my x for 6 months...just telling u this freaks me out that some total stranger could find out this info and see all the things that ive... written...
I need to get a tape recorder... excited now that I have 2 other blogs,  turbayne.com and garvald.net since someone else has garvald.com    based in Edinburgh for special needs people (?)

overall its been another rough day where I have to learn to not lose it with my family back with me, with still the insecurity that they could leave at any time... I will eventually get wifi and have these writings coming late at night  or when Im romanticized by pictures of the sea or the colors of another evening passing my our view in our little backyard...

What then is freedom? The power to live as one wishes.

well,, that one was a good one for me to not feel guilty about being lazy and doing all the shit that I have to do!!
its overwhelming, but at least my x who decided that I was Colin's best dad , has been living with me for 6 months....
our divorce was because bottom line, she is manic depressive as many of my xs were (I believe_)
I was agnostic about the condition , until living with the ups and downs of this condition(disability/or talen?)....
she finally got a job, and with a new Honda, but will have taken out of her paycheck.. perhaps they do this , because they are so happy to have someone be making payments for 6 years!!
and if she gets fired, she still has to make the payments...:(

ok.... dokie... back to the okie zone...

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or should I say back to writing to my dear friend who I share some of my most intimate thoughts with sometimes total disregard for how it can be used against me...
I have so much to do and to follow up to get the right ids and stuff to get some of these funds...
I have to get the ball rolling to get something started..

I feel frustrated, overwhelmed and then lazy, before I finally get the ball rolling and Im taking that river out past these overwhelming waves which have been pounded against me and then I get enough chance for a breath before another giant wave comes over me and I have to hold my breath and wait before I can come to the surface to exhale!!!

I was almost surprised that my x, or other half of my unconditional love for the mother of our beautiful son.., came home with a job and a new Honda Saturn ... my son wants to celebrate, so we get in her new car and she feels as territorial as Buffy does with a toy she just acquired.... and we are off and
im just apprehensive about…
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Hi good friends and the few that Ive selectively told about my inner personal domain... all this writing I eventually need to put together in a book!
I occasionally read my daily horoscope and its often close to my feelings...
I read the cookie that my x opened up for me" and said I would come into fortune!" , and just when my good friend , benefactor and muse told me the sites to go to...
my issue as always is getting the right birth and death certificates along with all the proper paper work (and that fact of work and putting my head together for it is worse than my fear of sharks...)
now its a quiet Saturday and there is peace at home, although my son and I don't like it when she overindulges in brew..
it sets her into another personality which so reminds me of the behavior in Oz that scared the beJesus out of me...

uly 2, 2016Basking in Self-Love
Sagittarius Daily Horoscope
You may feel loved and accepted today. You may find yourself seeking comfort and acknowledgment from…
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Hi good friends and the few that Ive selectively told about my inner personal domain... all this writing I eventually need to put together in a book!
I occasionally read my daily horoscope and its often close to my feelings...
I read the cookie that my x opened up for me" and said I would come into fortune!" , and just when my good friend , benefactor and muse told me the sites to go to...
my issue as always is getting the right birth and death certificates along with all the proper paper work (and that fact of work and putting my head together for it is worse than my fear of sharks...)
now its a quiet Saturday and there is peace at home, although my son and I don't like it when she overindulges in brew..
it sets her into another personality which so reminds me of the behavior in Oz that scared the beJesus out of me...

uly 2, 2016Basking in Self-Love
Sagittarius Daily Horoscope
You may feel loved and accepted today. You may find yourself seeking comfort and acknowledgment from…

"Buffy is problematic"

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I love my neighbor, Charles but I do get a little jealous, because Charles was always sweet to her and let her sit with him on the couch... and she has always been so in love with him... she used to wet herself with excitement but now she still acts like her puppy in her twelfth year of life... she will be 12 around xmas....

but Buffy now as an old Rez dog loves her freedom and will use any chance to escape... and first thing is she runs across the street to sit on Charles porch...
 it was a nice cool morning yesterday so I stupidly left the door askew to let the morning breeze in....
she of course is gone for 3 hours being a holy terror to other dogs barking through their fences...

so she of course greets Charles and his wife... she sends me an email   "buffy is problematic "

hmmm... i'll leave it at that for now..

"Buffy is problematic"

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I love my neighbor, Charles but I do get a little jealous, because Charles was always sweet to her and let her sit with him on the couch... and she has always been so in love with him... she used to wet herself with excitement but now she still acts like her puppy in her twelfth year of life... she will be 12 around xmas....

but Buffy now as an old Rez dog loves her freedom and will use any chance to escape... and first thing is she runs across the street to sit on Charles porch...
 it was a nice cool morning yesterday so I stupidly left the door askew to let the morning breeze in....
she of course is gone for 3 hours being a holy terror to other dogs barking through their fences...

so she of course greets Charles and his wife... she sends me an email   "buffy is problematic "

hmmm... i'll leave it at that for now..

t's great to be back in school , sort of...
It is amazing how summer has flown by so fast!
I'm wanting to write more but the bug has not captured my desire to write..
At least I can say hello to everyone

now I've escaped to Serendipachi again and all the worries of reality

We are still at war and Bush is still in office but at least his "brain" is gone!

I joyously accept my beautiful home away from home on one of the most beautiful stretches of beach in the world, the Gold Coast.

The desires of my heart are fulfilled when I swim and surf in the crytal blue waters of the Pacific.

I'm planning on going there for the winter break for 2-3 weeks..I'll have to find someone to take care of my darling Buffy so maybe I can find someone that will be staying here during the xmas break...they can put her inside my home in Serendipachi while I'm gone...

It was sure nice having an escape from reality travelling with my canine soulmate all around the northwest part …
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for some reason , I feel far freer (?) going in here to this " zone" for comfort in a nonjudgemental audience ( me and LA??)
I am recovering from PTDS post traumatic divorce syndrome....
but I was really divorcing the in laws...
so everything was going well in the arkiezone as long as the much tamer queen was in charge...
(even so much as enjoying a little herb from the manufactured weedarette with filter attached)..
I was most impressed with the old king's weedarette maker than anything along with being impressed with the well manicured homegrown...(and ..wasn't this one of the main thing the Ozark family was going to use against me in the divorce court that never happened)

I of course was knowing we needed to vacate the mini king/queendom as soon as possible before the peace that I made was all shattered or up in smoke with the hilarity of his high pitched laugh of an old bloke that enjoys being the center of the limelight imbibed upon by his magic herb and of cour…
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for some reason , I feel far freer (?) going in here to this " zone" for comfort in a nonjudgemental audience ( me and LA??)
I am recovering from PTDS post traumatic divorce syndrome....
but I was really divorcing the in laws...
so everything was going well in the arkiezone as long as the much tamer queen was in charge...
(even so much as enjoying a little herb from the manufactured weedarette with filter attached)..
I was most impressed with the old king's weedarette maker than anything along with being impressed with the well manicured homegrown...(and ..wasn't this one of the main thing the Ozark family was going to use against me in the divorce court that never happened)

I of course was knowing we needed to vacate the mini king/queendom as soon as possible before the peace that I made was all shattered or up in smoke with the hilarity of his high pitched laugh of an old bloke that enjoys being the center of the limelight imbibed upon by his magic herb and of cour…

no good deed goes unpunished

blessed are the peacemakers...hoping to make peace with x dad in laws and was working well enjoying the herb but always he wanted to insult his x son in law
i figured mowing the lawn, buying him steaks, would all help..
I was the odd man out and couldnt kiss up to him well enough
s
take your dog and leave


so great to have my blog... i want to thank steve macintosh for being in my small network of friends.. so cool!
have to figure out how to tranfer photos to this cheaper chrome book



o

feel free to write comments ... especially knowing i have readers makes my dads day while waiting for my family to wake up this afternoon!!:)

Thank you LA!   i feel this summer we are coming out of the closet in so many ways... if one can make peace with the x inlaws , one can solve world peace...
puff puff pass

i feel like when i write this I am talking to you , because you are in effect the mother of my baby...
:)
its amazing about being a parent... and for 2 years I missed my baby and almost my best friend, lover.. etc...
this blog has been way out there and now i realize it will be the rough draft for my book...
ala jack kerouac, hunter s thompson and a little cheech and chong perhaps... all children of the marijuana movement .. that I feel is almost a religion if not already.. if that is the way you feel??
 ...
with this blog, its my backyard where I can walk around naked if I want and some neighbor wants to complain , they can look the other way...
the freedom to enjoy a view and park your ass on a chair and watch the waves or the world spin!!

from facebook:

happy Me day!!! and I wont feel guilty for writing on my blo…
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wow!!! we finally figured out how to write some more.. i am so excited about putting all of this together eventually for a book!
Thank you Leigh anne!




wow... we are back in the OKIE ZONE!! PRAISE OUR GREAT BENEFACTOR AND LEIGH ANNE

ok... what do we do now... so much has happened , but Lord and Universe willing , we will plan our escape from the Okie zone again!!

cannabis actually helps my creativity and I'm able to get along better with my xhalf! 
But unfortunately it is so expensive , so we have to use it sparingly and when I want to watch the News and communicate with her, she is so much more relaxed that I am  able to get my point across!
It is a beautiful day on a Saturday and I have actual hope that, one step at a time we will get through everything!
I worry about being entrapped in the Arkie Zone when we visit the In laws!!
Colin and I are now at the Warr acres library and I feel like I can write with impunity, and not worry about the powers that be censoring anything that I write..
I had so many hassles with Dot Easy but it looks like we finally unlocked our domain with LA's wonderful help!!
Godaddy is so much better and they have a chat room. Dot easy has only a Canadian phone so you cannot comm…