realizing my own mortality...
i think of a friend who had his wake up call at a much younger age
and then i get a glimmer of what my own mortality could be
when i walk across Hedges ave.
and suddenly see double with much better acuity...
it was bizarre
i closed either eye and didnt see double
but then I could walk just shutting one eye
to a chair
to see my beloved ocean one more time
and eat a halloween mini candy bar
the uneasy feeling wondering when the double image
fades away with each bite
a mini stroke....
and I hug my son that evening
and play frisbee with my son more than i ever have
having discovered my son's new toy hidden among
the seaweed about a 100 meters out from shore...
the feelings run across my mind that night,
with frustration at my own body's fragile shell
and the necessary need to establish the bucket list....
so we pass it on from one generation to the next
we live through our children
they will be around when we are gone...
my son picked up an old birthday card for dad's 90th birthday well over 6 years ago
written so beautifully by my neice...
i epiphenize they will carry on our conciousness..
life is ever more precious to enjoy every moment while on our very brief and small parking space