the autumn colors are reaching their maximum
and I can finally reach the cyberuniverse from this temporary from a high point on the foothills of the ozarks!
ok








If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!


hey steve, buddy weve been through a lot...
i want to write more but I need to spend these precious waking hours with my son... this was before when my son was taking a nap..

October 22, 2010, 2:31 AM
I believe that we need some social interaction or at least dealing with family is important…
Keeping a record of our lives is important…and I am passing on everything to colin…
Sadness is knowing eventually you will go…
Everything is brief , but trying to enjoy every moment…
Its hard to deal with the passing of time…and my desire to trust angela and help her understand what is fair…
She’s like a little girl in so many ways that I have to take care of her…
Im getting internet and its like a drug that I need a little bit of perhaps my dwindling social connections as time flies by..
Angela and colin are all I have sometimes and buffy and friends and places that I can call home…

Wow, so the police came by and then I wondered if I should take my keys out of the door…or should I get out and go fr a walk….
And then im happy because I could have smelled like weed…
And then I was thinking that I was happy that I finished the guiness that was in my coffee cup…even though the cup has a lid, would it still be open container??
I think about my connections with dad and then connections with my son…
Its so nice to hold him
So close…
My last week before im off to oz… need to go print it out at the library..
Friday is the last day to really take care of business…
And so many things to do to take care of family…
And then I fear driving a vehicle after this bud and brew..(only 1 but with a little weed with me)
So maybe I should go out and walk…
Every moment with my son is precious…
And everyday is a learning experience…
The way he is learning to take off his shirt…
And I hold him early in the am…
When he wakes up perhaps after a nightmare or
Scared that he is alone…
And I will be apart from my family…
The new costs of flying them here!!
And putting my life altogether on a blog (perhaps word perfect is far better for me to do at least the rough draft while I wait for the internet connections..should I get a pair of my old emergency running shoes or go barefoot)
Now im semi content with our time together
Taking care of the diapers
Scared of the lights coming on in the middle of the night…


U know, Steve, we’ve had a roller coaster couple of mnths.. (forgive the errant o that colin took off and I Caucasian rigged it to be attached but diagonally)
Im listening to
These cool oldies but goldies , I suppose from the 60s and 70s, Nat King Cole and old love songs when we were in our innocent(??) youth…
Im sure weve been both frustrated with what life has given us lately , but that which doesn’t kill us makes us (sometimes) stronger…
Im putting this in the puter on the imperfect word perfect
And Ill transfer it to my blog when she behaves and let me write on her(??)..
I’m glad to see my better half and kinda understand the dynamics..
So Ill do another cut and paste of Rudyard Kipling’s famous poem
It often makes me cry when I read this to my partner and best friend…
Especially when I look into my son’s innocent happy eyes…

As I teach him words of our language..Rudyard Kipling's inspirational poem - 'If'
Rudyard Kipling's (1865-1936) inspirational poem 'If' first appeared in his collection 'Rewards and Fairies' in 1909. The poem 'If' is inspirational, motivational, and a set of rules for 'grown-up' living. Kipling's 'If' contains mottos and maxims for life, and the poem is also a blueprint for personal integrity, behaviour and self-development. 'If' is perhaps even more relevant today than when Kipling wrote it, as an ethos and a personal philosophy. Lines from Kipling's 'If' appear over the player's entrance to Wimbledon's Centre Court - a poignant reflection of the poem's timeless and inspiring quality.
The beauty and elegance of 'If' contrasts starkly with Rudyard Kipling's largely tragic and unhappy life. He was starved of love and attention and sent away by his parents; beaten and abused by his foster mother; and a failure at a public school which sought to develop qualities that were completely alien to Kipling. In later life the deaths of two of his children also affected Kipling deeply.
Rudyard Kipling achieved fame quickly, based initially on his first stories and poems written in India (he returned there after College), and his great popularity with the British public continued despite subsequent critical reaction to some of his more conservative work, and critical opinion in later years that his poetry was superficial and lacking in depth of meaning.

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