Tsunami hits Oz....
and the beaches of the Gold Coast were all closed because of it
I guess if you looked really carefully, you might see a surge...
but it was Murphy's law
in regards to my own preassessment for the bronze...
I felt like I was back in college where the professor would fail me regardless of my performance..
I was "sweating profusely " according to the instructor...
I couldn't relax and felt that I would fail the exam before I started...
I was more relaxed that one of the captains was there at least to have a 2nd opinion..
the first showing, my cell phone kept ringing during the assesment
and I screwed up putting the pads from the defibrillation unit in the wrong place
but the captain told me that I was spot on with the initial one person assessment
I was much more relaxed for my 2nd chance
then I did well with everything but the oxygen mask...
according to the instructor , I couldn't get the mask seal tight enough because I didn't have my fingers in the right place...
so regardless, the instructor would always find something wrong...
getting my Bronze medallion to be a volunteer lifeguard,
would not happen this trip...
and there went my chances to compete in the nationals...
and it dawned on me regardless of taking a little adderall, I have difficulty with learning simple lifesaving techniques....
do the threat of a tsunami was only a premonition of my own lack of ability to succeed...
so it appears that unless a miracle happens
I won't be able to take the bronze assesment because the instructor doesn't think I'm ready...

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Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!