July 10: self helpless (from the urban dictionary)

The condition of somebody that is unable to deal with life, usually found sitting around a neglected apartment with bad hair and bad outfit.


"I saw Kenny at our high school reunion, he's still living with his parents and saving up for a camaro ...totally self helpless.
"

I suppose this could easily have been the story for me or my wife with both of us dealing with our incapacities disabilities(?)... we could have easily drifted by in life accumulating for stuff or just more emotional baggage...
instead we are jet setters (could that be the right term or more like jet bums(?)
boy I am bummed out!
a bunch of my writing was just wiped out...
and now I will forget the way I eloquently put it together...

I have dealt with children with learned helplessness...
Ive taught children with learning disabilities in many different areas, the last one being a Navaho community in the REZ
the top 3 players on my chess team had learning disabilities of different kinds...
over the years , their confidence in school and life improved tremendously!'
where was I going with this...
I want to feel proud of our family AND I AM!
we are doing Ok and who wouldve thought wed be on a beautiful beach with the sun shining right into our little abode...
the club swim championships are on tomorrow so I better get a few hours shut eye!

I guess I will have to some major editing of this essay one of these days, but in the meantime I wanted to get the gist of this story out...It home so hard the other day especially with all the years of experience that I had how poor my processing was so that the instructor felt that I wasn't ready to pass the bronze assesment...
but I am proud of the way it just made me more determined to pass the course...
that is the brave heart never give up celtic blood that runs deep in my veins and I see that our son Colin has the heart of William Wallace! always keep getting back up and fight !

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Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!