I could get very frustrated with myself and my life...
I do get very frustrated and thinking that I would fire myself if I was my own boss...
my life has been a series of failures...
but Ive just figured out the way things don't work...
I haven't take care of business the way I should and now I'm paying for it...
but then, I wake up with this new found optimism about in some ways how blessed my life is..
I have a beautiful wife and son on a beautiful beach that I can wake up to each morning and swim fast in those waves...
I take the wave and put my head down, kicking furiously to stay with that wave..
Im still waiting for that magical wave where I stay on it for as long as gloriously possible
feeling all the energy of her behind me...

by going with the rest of the team for training knowing that I will be the only not to pass in this group because of my difficulty processing
and putting several steps together has hindered me...
I have let myself down
but Im determined to wake up tomorrow eager to show them how good a lifesave I am!
I will walk over to the crew with my head held high knowing that I have the knowledge to pass my bronze...I will catch that wave!
This bronze is for me and what Ive been waiting for so long for!

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Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!