all the ILs are gone for a while..
so I have freedom before I have to finally take a load off my mind...
I wonder about smoking the last tiny bit
just to get in this level that I enjoy while
it can be a nice little place
when there are few humans around
and all the negative vibes u might feel...
Im listening to Rod right now on a recorded version of today's View...
"ur sweet as a honey bee"
all the view ladies are joining into his song...
Rod is on his 6th child and
still wants more....
as far as I know
all I have is Colin
and feel like they are taking him away from me
is it my own fault for just letting it happen for my honey's sake???
I'm definitely losing control..
Dad IL. is holding him everymorning while he waits for me to evacuate his den with the fold out cot...
so my honey can sleep in her own tiny bed...
about 9 or so I get a wake up knock
and know it's time to make the bed!!
does he hear me typing or my quick fix of the news before he hears me??
I go outside the room
to see him holding my Colin
with a look like
yeh, your son likes me more..
it's too early to stare back at him..
I just look at my son in his mother's fathers arms
and he smiles at me..
that's all I need to know
I want my family back on the beach
many thousands of miles away>>>