one of the most intimidating things in the world is filling out paper work...
and even bloody figuring just how to fax on your new fax machine(it's half a year old and used maybe 4 or 5 times because I am too learning disabled to sit down and read the instructions...
is it a kind of learned helplessness??)
at least for me in my very hedonistic beach bum lifestyle...
all these things that require mental energy and fear of rejection (worst fear is not become an Aussie/american poet laureate of the two continents....jet setting in a beach bum lifestyle...

who was that Greek legend?? Sysyphus??
the bloke who's trying to push this giant metaphoric boulder up the mountain...
without it falling backward...
that's the way I could easily feel..
with the whole weight of the world upon my shoulders..
and what would it all matter if suddenly...
A large tsunami engulfs your whole reality...
all I would think about
would be getting Colin
and make sure Angela is with us
and wait for the wave on tp of the roof....
ready to ride that wave.....

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Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!