I'm gonna pray to the universe that my laptop will working before I take my next walkabout!!

I suppose there is a down side to the verbal aspects of cannabizing...
the way I communicate might be hampered in one aspect of the relationship...
I just want someone to listen to me...
Maybe that's one of the biggest reasons for relationships to end...
It saddens me all the heartbreak in discovering myself...
the ADD mixed w/bipolar love...
she loves me.
she love me not..
I love her
I love her not..

Sometimes, while a little delusional, I could see how happy I could be...
"ou gotta love the one your with"..
but many times, I think that this is just too much possible BALL AND CHAIN LOVE THAT ANY SINGLE NON COMMITAL BACHELOR could tolerate??

It was nice of my new dad to able to help connect with some of the local family's homegrown veggies...
nothing like greens in the south to lift up your spirits...
and motivate my writing hoping that the regulars from Brisbane, Indepence Missouri and some of the other little towns that were my haunts of bachelorhood...
sometimes, I think that I'm missing the connections and parties that I would love to create and invite...\
these are parties in time with lost friends that will never have that chance again...
I love to be around folks that are openminded to have civil discourse...
how many multiple moods in an hour do I have to experience with women that I am in love with??
how can you talk to her without her exploding..
why do I bring out the best in women??
"It's not the ADD or my own hypoglycemia>>.
It's you!!
now pass the mashed potatoes and gravy.. before I bite your head off!"
as a praying mantis would after making love to her victim...
knowing that he would be food the loving couple's children...

I'm almost even more bummed out that my puter that I lugged over from Oz is on the blink...
How do I clean it all out??
an anti virus has invaded ( I guess..but I don't know??)
It's almost that I would give so much just to have a clean computer again...
everthing gets outdated as soon as I get...
this laptop has probably worn out it's warranty??
for some reason this pet puter needs a throughough antivirus shampoo...

speaking of pets, I need to put in a pic of my dog, Buffy...
My wonderful in-laws have taken such fantastic care of her...
thanks Joe!
Thank you, Diane, for taking care of everything else...
my honey's jeep is working still and it looks good..
but sounds a little shakey??
from some of the rough back wood roads of the Ozark hills??

so where am I going with all of this??
I dunno??
I just wish that I could have a party with all of ex's invited...
(and it really pisses me off again that Mathew Mcdorkle is again in one of the type movies that I had already envisioned the screenplay of...the other play I want to write is about Mermaid Beach and the whole surfing crowd, that I eventually want to fully dive back into their culture..I suppose that it would be a lot easier to do that without my better half...but who knows...If it comes hell and high water, I need to be back there next month!!)
I can maybe just be there for a month and then have Angela and the bub come out?? ...so many things to do and yet there's so little time in this life....to enjoy as much of life's gusto as we possibly can!!)

but seriously, ladies, germs, and mates, who ever drops by for a little chat with come over and enjoy a bowl at my humble abode, adobe beach shack...
(no it's really a tiny two bedroom apartment with the most gorgeous view that I've ever had to live with for an extended period of time...Dad was so lucky, but he knew how time was flying by in an even more accelerated fashion meet his maker )
well , tonite, forgive my ramblings...
if ever I find focus in life or at least someone contracting me to write out a script...
to include her own crazy person's blog..

I'm really bummed out about a lot of things,
but just mainly overwhelmed...
addaboy sure helps us....

so maybe I will go walkabout in the next few days while I pick up the Infinity (if it still works)...well at least the car seems to be a lot more faithful than most of the past ex's that I dated since driving that "luxury " car...
through happy towns'
some sad towns...
mainly just angry places...
where I don't feel comfortable to ever to habitate there...
mostly angry towns...

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Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!