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Showing posts from April, 2009
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so I figure, maybe I might have a few good decades left or not....
we might be swimming in the surf together, while I live vicariously in his surf lifesaving competions as the nuances of the sea never bore me...

will he inherit the beach and have this luxury every day before school...
running home from a hard day at school through the cooling waves to your hot feet....
running to school on a brisk early morning feeling the warmth of the Pacific on your feet...
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I like to think of each new day.... a new beginning... a realization and acceptance of our reality ...and going from there to seize each moment as she comes over the horizon to warm us up and give us her warmth...
Today will be a clean slate and maybe we can make it right the way Bill Murray had a perfect day...and then lived happily ever after with Angie McDowell

There is that elusive feeling of happiness that we might achieve when we have no worries and can start each day with the freshness of a young child... I have had a lot of bonding time lately with our son, Colin Murray Garvald... walking to the beach...and having his first times out to experience the sun...his cheeks were so rosy...and seeing him smile and laugh this morning...He is so happy..
He has no worries...
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Today was in the top 10 or even 5 for the most gorgeous days...
where it's not extremely hot and the water is still very warm...
the water is so calm that it's easy to swim past the 2nd mild break...
you see some of the Ocean st. gang playing hookie from work...
aah, the luxuries of working on the coast...
just enjoy the beach ...
instead doing that 4 letter word....
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My neck and my back are hurting now...but I still badly wanna compete in the clubchampionships at the end of the season...
Just to compete and hopefully not to come in last...
so it will be a point to work from in regards to competing next year in the Australian championships..
but my luck, I will break my neck ....(I wonder if a few exs would want that to happen>>>)
I'm feeling my mortality more than ever , especially the fragility of the shell we contain our soul in...
I guess I could say that I was lucky...
that I didn't break my neck
and not enjoy growing up with my son

that was a reality check...
I need to be careful when I am swimming and
be careful of this powerful Goddess of the Sea just waiting to take you...
just for this foolhardy sport...
but I love it!!
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I tried her again...
I misjudged the wave
the wave went over the top of the one before it...
I was going over the waterfalls
headfirst into the sand..

I'm still concious
but now I have to get over this morbid fear of paralysis
and then the worry of how my family would survive...

My wife and I both feel overwhelmed with parenthood...and so I bang my head really hard in the sand!!
what an escape!
Now I can't even turn my head sideways...I thought about visiting the doctor and then thought that I would be allright...
but I'm still crazy enough to want to compete in the club championships on Sunday!!....

Then we will be hopefully driving into Sydney
to get our son's passport!
...we have to be really careful of the roads!!
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wow....the holiday is almost over...
I find that one doesn't appreciate a holiday near as much when you haven't been experiencing work...
you appreciate a holiday so much more...
It's weird how I should be looking forward to summer in the states..
but I'm just worried and overwhelmed with all the things we have to do..
I have enough saved, hopefully, where our family can take it easy...
but I think
if there is some structure to our lives...
we would enjoy our trips with the family down unda that much more...
we just have to get into a more organized life...
that is what we need to have for little Colin Murray..
a peaceful home on the beach,
with a system each day...
where we enjoy experiencing life as much as we can...
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But I couldn't keep away from Her, this fearsome Goddess of the sea
waking up at 6 am just to workout with the lifeguards
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yesterday, when being smacked against the water and twisted around, I realized more my mortality...
and to enjoy life as much as we can , the short time, we consciously rent out this shell we look at ...seeing it's aging appearance...

This realization, epiphany, could have helped me enjoy swimming each day in this huge body of water and energy....the current was flowing so fast that i would pass others walking fast.... I was faster than Phelps without swimming a stroke...going with the flow of this powerful southerly...
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I caught a really tough wave...it was the scariest...
I thought that I had her
I had on a fin
she was giving me the headstart to stay ahead of her...
but insead I looked below me and there was a 3 foot drop
she smacked my body against the water...
then tumbled me around
now my neck is sore....

you can't underestimate the power of the sea!
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another day in paradise...lazitis has taken over...
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"The ninth insight says that we can direct primal energy through the power of attention and intention. As we've seen, whatever we put our attention on (and thereby make the focus of this energy) blossoms. Whatever we withdraw our attention from starts to wither away. Attention and intention are the keys to transformation, whether it is of a situation, circumstance, person, or thing. The sutras are codes for triggering and activating intention and attention"



interestingly a love has blossomed...or an obsession with a game or sport...my love for the sea and surf...I obsess each morning on the nuance of the rip...entering the deepest part next to the eroding beach... i swim with it while I float through the waves in the deepest parts...soon I am out there and I race with the wave...catching her early and kicking furiously with the flipper...I feel invincible...churning my arms as fast as I can before having to take a breath...each day I am with the wave just a little bit lon…
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I guess there is something very magical and seducing about the sea....
each day she looks longingly for you...
you are drawn to where you came from
when you were primordial microbes surfing the endless oceans of the primeval earth...

you are always tempted to take a swim...and feel where the rip will take you ...
out past the last breaker and then bide your time for the right one to take you in...

You wake up and are drawn to her from dawn to dusk...
you see the deep part of the rip just next to shore
and decide to get in there
put on your fin and swim out...
a little animal takes a nibble around your ankle...and lets go...
you take the next ticket wave to shore...
chat with the lifguards who ride out to you and they give you strategies about how to take the rip out....


I never thought that I would be writing love poetry about body surfing with the Goddess of the Sea..
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ya know,,,,...
what are the things in life that trigger the most feeling for me??..
Murch of all the painter's captured my heart as far as this heavenly maternal feeling....that would be almost dreamlike....when you had heart warming dreams of youth and no worries...

His image of the mother and child in many of his paintings
I remember so vividly the shade of the umbrella
it was shading the sun from the mother and child on a hot summer day on the coast..
in days of yore...
the image of the little baby girl was heavenly....
I remember seeing her and the warm feelings of youth ...
a mother's love for her child...
ahh, che sera, sera....
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I think
what me worry??
Isn't that what Alfred E Newman ....The personification of Mad Magazine,,, asks??
a prayer was said yesterday or the day before...(days melt into one)more we realize good often comes out of bad_(?)
once, long time ago, a spell was cast on me..., a curse,
and I asked for it to be lifted...even though I don't believe in Jesus the way "Christians" might??
I let this friend of Angel's give it to me to say...
I said it and now I feel the spirits have been lifted or
(maybe its just cuz my downstairs neighbors have left for Easter vacation...so the whole backyard is to ourselves...
we can enjoy our daily homage to the Goddess of the sea....
without worrying about intruding on others'
space!! (this finite property on this spaceship , earth)
without the negative vibes seaping upwards... we feel free!!!
when some neighbors leave ..even for a little while...
ones who don't give out good vibes...
More have I felt a camaraderie with the folks who give out g…
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Mother and Child
Murch
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Ok.... what makes a person wise?? living through life's tough knocks?? do we become life smart after finally becoming street smart?.... (smart enough to know you don't belong on some street in Bumfuck, Okiehoma) Learning how to survive each day with the least amount of pain that you just love to avoid... you are afraid to go beyond the paradigm stretch.... the first step out of the orbit of mundane electrons?? but once you get off your ass long enough to get into an excited state long enough to get out of the Okie Orbit, and the Yank orbit....and finally realizing that Oz is your home!!