You could call this a personal creative fiction journal about a world traveler and his evolving life.
He saw the warmth of Americans vanish with the once large friendly middle class. Was there a Camelot, when we thought of ourselves as a good nation?
The powers that be have been holding our country hostage since Reagan took away the power of the unions and Neoconservatives took over the Republican Party!
Will we ever stop our declining ways?
(sorry for typos!)
HOW DO WE DEFINE HAPPINESS??
IF U ARE CRAZY, U MIGHT AS WELL BE HAPPY!
So DON'T WORRY!!
WE GET OVERWHELMED WITH WORRY AND THEN YOU THINK WHAT WILL IT MATTER 50 YEARS FROM NOW??
but now there is someone who might be around 50 years from now?? you being here is the reason he is here and will be here!!.... Perhaps a continuation of your consciousness
sneaking into the old haunted fibro made boarding house over 43 years ago in the summer/Xmas of '65 looking for those big green coke bottles that could be turned in for threepence each!!
With that many bottles , you could buy your favorite rubber soldiers and a tasty icecream from the local store down Hedges ave... when it was not "Millionaire's beach"...
You had no clue that finding this place would pique the curiosity of my father and Uncle Ron....
A Xmas vacation in Oz with my Aussie family!!
I was so happy playing with all of our cousins from my Mother's and father's sides from the variety of cities of this beautiful country I called home!!
....being cuddled by this loving family that were extensions of myself and my culture...I escape back this wonderful warm cozy feeling...when there were no worries...I kept a diary and was proud of myself and my future...
with actually no worries of the future....puff, puff, pass...
Your self image should not depend on what others believe about you
and the image that you might create??
It is ultimately your own belief in yourself and the way you surf those waves of life...
from the very tiny waves that you don't notice on a very calm sea to the large ominous waves coming in from the remnants of storms out at sea...
it's up to you to catch that large gorgeous wave just at the right moment to be in that zone just ahead of the frothy turbulence for as long as you can hold your breath....
kick like crazy with the help of your magical extension of your foot, the flipper...
you are swimming (??) faster than you ever have before as the water rushes against your body....
you know that as soon as you catch your breath...
you'll lose that gorgeous wave !!
"We have chosen to be on earth because there is something we want to learn that can only happen by inhabiting a body. Some of us are here to repay a debt, learn about love, or teach forgiveness. Most of us are here for a combination of reasons, we carry this information in our souls, all we have to do is remember. As you go through your journey, try not to forget how brave you are, being here now. Honor yourself." from the Daily OM
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i went downstairs to admire the almost full waning moon...
realizing my own mortality...
i think of a friend who had his wake up call at a much younger age
and then i get a glimmer of what my own mortality could be
when i walk across Hedges ave.
and suddenly see double with much better acuity...
it was bizarre
i closed either eye and didnt see double
but then I could walk just shutting one eye
to a chair
to see my beloved ocean one more time
and eat a halloween mini candy bar
the uneasy feeling wondering when the double image
fades away with each bite
a mini stroke....
and I hug my son that evening
and play frisbee with my son more than i ever have
having discovered my son's new toy hidden among
the seaweed about a 100 meters out from shore...
the feelings run across my mind that night,
with frustration at my own body's fragile shell
and the necessary need to establish the bucket list....