ya know....sometimes, it would be cool to really believe that there is an afterlife...
I guess I see some of the gung ho Christians dancing in almost mesmerizing trance...

I guess depending on the herb you smoked or who you were with....you could get into a woodstock type of communal thought....
you are with a bunch of other believers really getting into with the dancing and speaking of tongues.... you then vote because you believe the future president will believe the same way...
....You all wanna believe there has got to be a better place.!!.....
you see a new day!!...and you wonder if you could do something wonderful that would make you think life is fulfilling...
I suppose one of the major reasons some folks go into depression is that they might be missing out on the party...they have been seeing black, white and grey...
or they are missing sunshine and color in their lives!
you fall in love and everything is like a summer morning in paradise!

I have had so many relationships and lived in so many places...I love falling in love

I have seen enough dawns to sometimes wake up bitter...

I sure hope that I make the best of this place and this marriage...I love seeing the bright sun come in again after overcoming a long few days of sub tropical storms!!

I know my vulnerabilities and weaknesses as past women have found out...
so when will I ever get the day right.??..

I have seen so many dawns ...hoping that the next day would be better...Maybe I could strive one day to have the perfect day, the way Bill Murray did in "Ground Hog Day"....to perhpas know that I am evolving into the loving ,understanding father that I would have loved to have had!

....Would I like a day of great achievement so that Mom and Dad would be jumping up and down from up above the way they were watching me win the 200 yard freestyle swimming race in the swimming championships of Rochester New York!
( I sent the essays about Ground Hog Day to Dad in Australia...He loved it when I wrote him these long essays while he paid for my classes to become a teacher...I didnt seem a long time ago...almost like I could get on the phone and ask him about my latest essay...Perhaps he was reading them from his favorite chair of our Parthenon flat..It was a warmer feeling of our family being together only a year or 2 after Mom passed away)


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Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!