You could call this a personal creative fiction journal about a world traveler and his evolving life.
He saw the warmth of Americans vanish with the once large friendly middle class. Was there a Camelot, when we thought of ourselves as a good nation?
The powers that be have been holding our country hostage since Reagan took away the power of the unions and Neoconservatives took over the Republican Party!
Will we ever stop our declining ways?
(sorry for typos!)
wow...more and more things appear to make this year magical (gifts from the universe?) many times tears come out spontaneouslywhen I mention my angel and our baby...
again it happened, the assistant/teacher who is always polite and friendly unlike others, mentioned to me her dream, that angel and I were married with a two year old boy ... she was looking down a hill and the grass was knee high...we came from behind a black post with our little boy...it was more pscyhic than any other experience!.... tears welled up in my eyes when I had a feeling that was what she was going to say when she first told me she had a dream...
its all fitting together this magical flow... my angel called me from Arkansas missing me so much...she feels so much comfortable with all of her family who love her so much...
so in a couple of weeks , I'll see her and another picture of our growing seed...aprehensive....anxious, ...anxiety....sudden worries of a new father and will she have the best coverage... her doc…
"Oww oooo! In case you didn’t notice, it’s a full moon tonight. If you’re trying to conceive the traditional way (you know, by doing it), you may want to know that: Women’s periods have been tied to the moon and the lunar cycle for literally thousands of years. Before modern science came along to explain that a woman menstruates because of her changing hormones, it was generally accepted that a woman’s periods followed the lunar cycle. After all, the moon controls the ocean, why not women’s bodies? As a result, some believe that it is possible for a woman to have two fertile times during her menstrual cycle: the first occurring when she ovulates and the second according to her lunar phase fertility period. (www.epigee.org) A full moon is linked to ovulation – a time of abundance, ripening and completeness. That is, if we were all regular and didn’t have cycles dictated by those little pink packets of pills, patches, shots, etc. "
"We all see things about ourselves, our relationships, and our world that we want to change. Often, this desire leads us to take action toward inner work that we need to do or toward some external goal. Sometimes, without any big announcement or momentous shift, we wake up to find that change has happened, seemingly without us. This can feel like a miracle as we suddenly see that our self-esteem really does seem to be intact, or our partner actually is helping out around the house more. We may even wonder whether all of our hard work had anything to do with it, or if it just happened by way of grace. "
It is so cool,,,venting the friday before our two week fortnight of a dramatic road to be taken...with my angel, my muse, my copilot to the next orbit...we fly together
the venting of my soul right front of the all my overseers, friends and what I thought were formidable foes to my own career and vision for my vision of a utopia...or at least some village on the way to becoming …
wow...October 23 rd....so many in this latter half of my life were born in October...from the 18th to the 30....my angel's son is 15, born close to that date... hmmmm...all the signs .... and then the thoughts that it wouldnt be our reality...it hasnt sunk in yet...just nice talking via email to my cousin in lawyer, Kenny..
a connection to the whole family at the Parthenon and our family history on Mermaid Beach will continue ...from cardboard shacks for houses 40 years ago to multimillion dollar mansions...
we are leaping to Oz in hopefully less than two months...to be there for the winter solstace.
ok..a couple days later...eve before I get evaluated by my principal... of course it is obvious what I have accomplished.. u know me! I am prograsstinating! .. watching this show about how animals can predict earthquakes...Im in a very tired state where I could probably drop off to lalaland... but I need to talk to my angel..I wish that I was with her for the first ultrasound... He's only 3 and a half inches right. now ...Im guestimating his conception was around the time of the lunar eclipse ...and they predicted all sorts of happenings would happen at that time... wow!! it still hasnt dawned on me that I might with everything going hunky dory..Ill be a Dadddy! and carry on our line! .. my muse knows we will both change for the better when we suddenly have this tremendous responsibility of bringing a new life into world on the edge of the precipice! Its like everything since I started this blog has been happening and in the most funky sort of way! Truth is better than fiction...
It is cool taking a walk up the mountain with Buffy...I forget how beautiful the mountains are as we climb in elevation! 420 all the way up to a natural and herbal high!
ok..a couple days later...eve before I get evaluated by my principal... of course its obvious.. u know me!
I am prograsstinating! and watching this show about how animals can predict earthquakes...Im in a very tired state where I could probably drop off to lalaland...but I need to talk to my angel..I was that I was there for the ultrasound... He's only 3 and a half inches right now !! ...Im guestimating his conception was around the time of the lunar eclipse ...and they predicted all sorts of happenings would happen at that time... wow!!
it still hasnt dawned on me that I might with everything going hunky dory..Ill be a Dadddy! and carry on our line! .. my muse knows we will both change for the better when we suddenly have this tremendous responsibility of bringing a new life into world on the edge of the precipice!
So we play with words and love the sound of accents… I use to play like I was an Aussie..I bet your popular with some of the ladies here mate, with your southern drawl? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge
“rumor has it that there’s an English bloke with an accent??…I don’t recollect any new English students… But no worries Tex,you can be relaxed here at Utopachi…but this is the coolest little high school in northwestern Idaho.. We are accepting of all different kinds of accents!! No worries, mate “ I loved pretending I was an Aussie surfer in my post graduate days, and then toured all over the world exploring different accents.. Between you an me mate, it was the best way to be popular with the sheilas… hey when I had hair I used to pretend I was a wondering surfer hippy from Oz..!!” Hey and speaking of bald I have to go to one of these silly Baldridge meetings"
we can be philosophical about the twists and turns of fate... and let our emotions take hold of us on a road we will take in the future but "the future's not ours to see" che sera, che sera, Che Guevara!
we are happilly chatting about what we will name him or her and we are both putting each other into the mindset of really starting a family... that appears to be our road
and then I hear the call.. it doesn't upset us but realize that by random chance , so that path won't be taken yet???..
wait till till we leap to that orbit further and farther away from the comfort zone (The Okie Zone)
we have this epiphenous and very event filled fortnight (2 weeks) away from the negative vibes of Utopachi... we discover ourselves and living with ourselves away from each other!
I come back more peaceful but lazy almost as if from jet lag getting slowly back into the work zone! ..taking two half days off so I can gradually ease back into it while doing my best to avoid controversy...where…
when we leap into a refreshing swimming pool or a beautiful ocean with the Byron Bay Island beckoning us as sirens would invite love sick sailors, we have already taken the plunge we are on our way copilots to the Land Of Oz!! our little part of paradise to live life to the fullest in..
I finally put my muse on the schools major medical giving them a copy of our license... then chatting about the steps to take a family medical leave and long term leave of absence.... (or long term honeymoon in preparation for our love child on the beach!!) she is so proud of me still musing in the comforts of home in the foothills of the Ozarks or the "next best thing to being there" (Sprint is such a ripoff..dont get me started trying to call internationally from a cell phone!) it's cold in Arkansas now while 75 degrees here in the high desert!
Angel Asphodel I am a hopeful agnostic..hoping for connections with the universal energy that often seems to be talking to me in the form of coincidences and sudden epiphanies... Hanging out past exit time at the Motel 6 in the Midwest City suburb of Okc...or is it Del City?? I have so many things to do... have a little buzz compensated for by a thermos filled with the motel java and addaboy! when I have this magical stimulant everything does not seem overwhelming just enough to stave off the tears of overwhelming frustration which often puts me into a prograsstination funk!!
"till death do you part" that is the most fearful and restraining statement to keep a man from marriage.. I asked for that to be taken out, but the new fresh female minister said it anyway .. we listened to Shania before we could finally kiss in front of all of her relatives.... but it was wonderful to get married away from any church and Elivis... a no frills marriage...wow... and it was the most wonderful almost surealistic experience.. then I cried with my muse this morning.. on the verge of all these new responsibilities I decided to finally take the plunge
wow!..its finally happened...I really wondered if I ever would marry and then it happens so painlessly...amazingly done in the backyard of my new Dad in Law...it was so beautiful and so was she showing just a little bit in her white hippy dress and pink wreath in her hair..It only took her two hours to put on make up! A tornado hit the town and razed half the area two months ago..I have to leave tomorrow although another twister is heading this way reported on the late news tonight... I just wish that I could call Australia so I could figure out how to pay that outrageous land tax!!
well no worries with the prenup...we had it notarized at the bank.. The in laws are preparing the nice marriage arches in the yard with lots of beer to give me and the audience...I need courage to tie the not for the first time in my life... Now there is no procrastination about it.. we will be starting a family and making a big move across the Pacific!
finally made it last night to my muse's home and comfort zone.. we will join together tomorrow night and it still hasn't dawned on me Hochzeit is german for marriage hoch- high zeit- time Watching "Two Towers" on their high defintiion tv! I understand why muse wants to stay here another week...it feels so safe and warm from the anger and negative vibes what I once called Utopachi...hate destroys any chance of that every happening... I will most likely take a leave of absence from this place in a couple of months...there is so much work to do to tie up loose ends... I haven't even called my brother...am I constantly escaping from the past and continual failures...this was actually believe it or not my best 3 years of teaching and I have become a better math and sped teacher...
on the road again!!w something about the catharsis of a long journey....we will be stepping over into that realm of deciding to spend the rest of our lives together...just letting yourself believe that someone magical will come from our union...
I just cried when I saw the national news about this child with cerebral palsy...She writes beautifully and she is only 10 years old.. I will look up "Jemma's writings" She won an award for the best essay. She is trapped inside her body and writes with the help of her mother. Her mind is a sponge for everything the teacher and the world gives her. She has to write it down!
ok...alot has happened but I decided I didn't want Elvis at the ceremony...maybe we'll just get the shot gun ceremony in my future Dad's backyard in hillbilly country... she is starting to show or maybe the baby is just as hungry as me...I think my muse consumes even more calories than me now...she just pigged out at the breakfast buffet while I had peanut butter and coffee.. but I better hold off trying to keep up with her constant grazing because my stomach already looks like it's in the 3rd trimester! (at least we are doing lots of walking along the Strip of casinos!)
Having fun in Vegas, cept I'm constantly having to look for buffets that will satisfy us both!... Bellagio's has by far the best buffet trying food and desserts from all over the world...that little custard dish was by far the best but all that food caught up with me so my face had a conversation with the toilet when we got back to the room!
Oh by the way, in the ongoing saga with our resident je…