Escape the Okie Zone

"Imagine your most treasured dream in every detail, and then set about to be the person who can truly experience it. Your dream will fill the home that you build for it."

We came back from our trip...it was an epipheny and then I had trepidation...sure enough my instinct for paranoia was correct...I feel that I can more and more tell the future...or is it predicting human nature and all of its' weaknesses....
Why is it when we feel that everything is going so well, how others want to tear it down!
Our kids came back from the state championship, undefeating...I thought that they were well behaved but somebody reported that they were playing pool,,,,the problem was that the room with the tables was right next to the bar! I have a feeling they were there when we were thinking they were relaxing in the hotel room...who knows if or when it happened but my job is on the line for sticking my neck out so these reservation students were given a chance to get out of town and enjoy themselves away from their poor existence... they will benefit so much from this trip and most others know this...but then there are some jealous(?) folks ...like the sluttish young school teacher who wouldn't allow one of my best chess players come! I wonder if she saw me peer through the kitchen windown to see her and the young gangly first year math teacher hug and kiss each other after spending the night together. For some reason , she parked her car right outside my house far away from his house..amazing the intrigue of this little village...rumor has it that she was even sleeping with Jesus when His fiance was out of town??/

"What is the difference between a bitch and a slut?
A slut sleeps with everyone and a bitch sleeps with everyone but you!"
A
I saw this comment and it made me think of this lady I was once in love with. I wonder why am I attracted to these type of women??...They sleep with many men , but end up with assholes and then claim to be victims...she had 4 children from four different men and hates all 4. Only one of the fathers is responsible and of course the kids want to live with him??

I wonder why they would actually think so viciously of men in Hawian t shirts :
"And it was definitely worth the six cents I found in the drink tray at McDonalds to watch the biggest a-hole in the world drop ketchup all down the front of his stupid hawaiian shirt. There is still some joy in the world.... ?"

I guess love take holds and we paint this blurry image of someone that evolves into this defensive schmeagol full of pain from the school of hard knocks...they want others to share in the same pain??

Bummer,..I wrote a few things to capture the moment before I could make the reluctant decision to have one long green beer with a green shamerock necklace in the bottom of the long cup...all that green dye #2
going into your system...so I limited it to one beer...somehow I felt the bf of this other peace corp maiden was acting very protective when we were in a long conversation about the school,(I realize this bloke had grey hair but more of it..probably closing in on 40...He didn't want to sit down!!

I have just a tiny buzz and the discovery of a hidden pouch in this expensive swiss gear laptop backpack helped accentuate the feeling some more...now I wonder where I could drive to, take in the desert scenery...the red cliffs accentuating by the high altitude sun...

I'm hanging outside the coffee shop in the small downtown next to the El Morro Theater since it's the only spot with free wireless...sad that they are not open on Sunday...she spilled the cream when she poured it into my coffee..maybe she was around my age and nervous....wanting to close up...Before I could even plug in the laptop, the jealous older bf informs me that I need to buy a cup of coffee or pay $3 for the service, in feign apolegetic manner...
I just start chatting with this other newly in love teaching couple...I saw him making the initial moves last semester when we were all involved in on these frequent sped meetings!
....there is politics everwhere, even in my retirement (?) home in Oz??
I almost like the state of entropy here with the principal gone so much but supportive when he is here...I am so grateful for his efforts in getting funds for our weekend in the Atom Bomb City! Our state tournament is where the bomb was invented and made!~
Do you know that there is a high rate of autism in children of geniuses?
I wonder what it would be like to teach in that town??? It is so close to Santa Fe...maybe I would not be so depressed....
Where will I find a community where I will be loved or will that eventually happen or will there will be jealousy??

nature is a universal mind organizing(?) this universe..

3/21 2nd day of Spring!
I come on here once or twice a week. I feel so frustrated sometimes, but it's good to relax at the coffee shop and chat even with newsbusters.org
Talking to these brainwashed neocons actually makes my day!...almost like winning a great chess match.......so I come here and play a game of chess with Russell, managing to win a game and then he traps me into a draw!
He is actually more obsessed about chess than I am!
We will be going to the state championships in less than 48 hours! I am happy that 4 of our best players have made the commitment to come. It is still very difficult for the logistics! I will have to clean up my old Infiniti and make sure I call AAA with all the extra towing ...and bring Mom's homemade sweater to feel her spirit with me!
I am excited about the Art Class continuing the chess project!

It's cool to be able to chat with you...I always worry about overstaying my welcome! It was so beautiful staying in Flagstiff with Raphael and Erowyn...
now Im about 100 seconds from narcolepy...It was so fun to hike up with while smoking the new found herb..going to another altered state mixed with a little depression that life is so fleeting....wishing that you were the age of your friends again...you didnt think about how life was so fleeting back then>>
Wednesday: It's too bad that I don't have anybody close by to share the wonderful weather ...long distance relationships are very frustrating...I almost want the freedom of not having a gf so that I can experience falling in love again...I miss that excitement of finding that elusive soulmate and wondering if there ever is a chance that Ms. Perfect will fall in my lap somewhere in my travels...I have been celibate for the past few months just out of laziness and desire to be honest...another big one is why make the effort for rejection and entanglement worried that the whole village will know ! ....especially if it fails....
More and more it seems as though I am convincing myself to stay here regardless of no intimacies here or the chance of a third year by myself only comforted by my faithful bitch, Buffy!
I have talked to others of my dream materializing in schools large courtyard...I keep looking at her as if she is now my love, my passion, my creation!...I can let her go now just when it could be the start of a movie and this is only the beginning...Never, have I felt a niche and comfort zone working here with the natives...a Bellagonna all alone putting all of his efforts into figuring out how chess can save the community!
They will be proud of themselves ...I can feel it...I can feel the energy when so many youngsters hang out by the chessboard ,,, I had desks put around the 100 sq. yds. so that kids wouldn't across it and wear it out before we started the actual play...others see it and then ocassionally an adult gives a compliment...some people think I'm crazy but they are not willing to admit that it's already having a profound effect positively on many. It is so beautiful seeing the maroon and gold colors blend into the mural of the mountain, cougar, sun and nature. The colors that Brad and I picked out were perfect. I never expected it to look as good as it does!
It will be so fantastic when they paint mountain lions, Native American warrrios on the edge of the board!

Once a week, lately, I've been able to chat with you. It's frustrating that the school district doesnt allow access to blogging any more or to www.newsbusters.org or some others that I want to stay in touch with. Oh well, soon, I will have my laptop back!
I am so excited about the outdoor chessboard in the courtyard. It is halfway finished thanks to the Corn Pollen class and Brad. It's amazing how great the colors look on the cement and how quickly it dried. Now that we all see it, I am so inspired to write letters to all the staff. It almost makes me want to stay here another year when I'm having visions of all the great things that chess can do for the school and community. I wrote the letter to some of my favorite faculty and then I realized that we can do it all especially as a metaphor for all the staff to come together. I am so much more positive than I have been in a long time. I feel that much of the negativity has been removed by just adding those vibrant colors to the gray cement!
We have testing all this week hoping our AYP scores could improve. We won't know until the end of this year but I sense how chess is the solution to so much here. The kids are all getting caught up in it too. Outside, during the lunch break even though it was so coldld, I enticed as many students and a few staff to be the 32 players. We demontrated a fools mate with the players and the principal told me later how he saw all of us involved!

Well I decided to drive into the big city of Albu querky to get my laptop but I'm frustrated that the Daze Inn has a weak signal!...Im not sure if its the laptop of the signal??

Sams tag!:
So here I am on my own creation, the blog...It's cold windy and sunny outside while I'm having a few glasses of wine soaking in the comfort of Daze Inn knowing that I have acess to you anytime I want. I can't get in on my own laptop for some reason , and I will have to call some expert or drive to Best Buy, but that will be after a nap since I wanted to see how I would do without any stimulants, even coffee. It was nice pigging out on waffles that we could cook ourselves! I sliced their bananas and put some in my oatmeal and in the waffle maker mix! They were delicious. Sometimes I can even impress myself with my creations!

Speaking of creations, it was nice to chat with one of my favorite confindants, Raphael, about the idea of chess being turned into a movie! He has so much knowledge, so he gave me a lecture on the Aztec(?) emperor, Idalpo(?) and how the conquistadors were invited into the plaza and totally took advantage of a situation!

I was telling him about how I want to create this movie but not offend anyone except the neocons! It would be cool to show the similarities between the neocons and the neoconquistadors!

Just another silly love song! sunnytag
PAUL MCARTNEY comes on the radio as I'm about to go into Quizno's...I wanna hear the song bring me back to hearing that song when I was still a virgin...hoping for love at the tender age of 20....now 31 years later, it was just like yesterday...the sun is over the land of enchantment...Will I ever be enchanted??...whats wrong with that? I'd like to know!

Where will I be this time next year??..looking for a spot with free wireless??
Part of me is still the wandering mango with 3o more years of lifes' experience but the other part of me craves the magic village to settle down to sprout my roots??
When I was walking everywhere along the beaches and swimming with the sharks, my bp was low but I was still alone but not near as much with folks that shared my love of life and leisure..
part of me wants to stay so badly in this village of Utopachi and the other side tells me that life is so short and that I'm happiest when on the road checking out to new settlements!
Manic (?)Monday
Not really...its nice to have tiny amount that I mix with catnip. It is amazing how it lowers blood pressure 10-20 points! The top one comes down from about 140 to 124 and the lower one comes down from 90 to about 82!
This lower BP was
Even after I noticed that I was working myself up about Jesus and his interferring ways, acting like he's the expert on Donovan. Don't get me started.Generally wants to have nothing to do with this dangerous child who has about the intelligence of a 3 year old. He starts barking out orders as if he knows better.

Generally I've been having a good week regardless of how Jesus does his best to spoil it. I need to ask him just out of curiousity how you decided to be involved in Clay's case again. How did he get involved in him again. Did the principal ask him again rather than me?
We all need to be on the same page. What made him decide to get involved with him again? I am wanting to have success and then there are always obstacles ...
Should I ask him,
"How did you get involved with Clay again?"
I notice that I am getting angrier when it takes me a while to see how manipulative this upward bound pseudo hippy is!
as far as good news:
I was resigning myself to knowing that my chess team wasn't going to the state championships in the town where the A-bomb was created until Tuesday, I get an email that Walden was dropping out of the competition. That suddenly made our team eligible to compete with the large schools but we barely have 400 students at our school....Now I have to really hustle to get funds for our team since there is of course no budget for Chess, but you still have to go through all the paperwork ... a regular sport that gets thousands of dollars just for transportation
I'll have to hustle close to a thousand dollars for hotel, bus and food but it will be so worth for these kids..I don't think that this time, I'll have a problem getting a full team since we'll be leaving Friday the 24th and missing a couple hours of school!...The chessboard is almost finished, with the yelllow paint running out with only 2 squares left...it is the publicity that I wanted to get students to come to chess. We had a record crowd of 24 players coming in to play chess, then I get the news that this is the last week for activity busses when we need practice the most..
How will all the students that stay for extracurricular activites get home??...Baseball and Track..
It costs $3800/week for this transportation! amazing!