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Showing posts from June, 2007
So here I am again in my home away from home...I get used to a place and it's cool to see the same familiar streets except that it has the warm ambience of mid-summer..
the anxiety of summer accelerating without doing anything is wearing off as soon as I take a road trip and hang out for a night smuggling Buffy in the "Bates Motel" in the middle of Gallup next to some of the very limited dives ... Maybe they could call these places "Stumble Inn's"...The inn keeper saw me on the hotel camera taking my blonde bitch for a walk...She was smiling when she asked me if that was me sneaking my dog out for a walk (she has had some loose poop since changing over to the high quality dog food just before the trip...a mistake but I had run out of the other)...The inn keeper was also 50 and made me feel better about my reflection in the mirror doesn't look too bad for the flip side of the half century...
especially when exgfs a generation younger are diseased and in n…

"Armadillo by Morning"

ok...so I I'm taking my time heading back west to take care of business with my school, my abode and my decisions for next year when I turn in the contract.
The hotel here in Amarillo has internet access in the lobby and not in the room like it was supposed to have, so I'm delaying my trip so I can chat with you!

I still have the anxiety but then I let the fuck it attitude takes care of it... I imagine just hanging out in my place on the beach for a few weeks with a little Ganja and some Aussie neighbors!
"She'll be right mate! Pass me a pint of Tooheys! No worries Mate, look at the gorgeous sun rise! It's my beach!"


It will nice to know that I will have some funds in both lands to use in my very modest lifestyle!

"I admire the quality of not feeling sorry for oneself. I have seen some people with some really tough lives but they just shrug it off and keep going like nothing happened, and in fact, seem to try even harder to succeed"

I have felt that way …
still vegetating in the okie zone before I head west again and make the decision to work in the land of enchantment at least one more year....
It's almost surreal the being here again in the same locations but so many changes...visiting the old Haunts...I went to Mikes in Oklahoma City...again after being personally attacked there 3 years ago by one of their customer..another young jerk who spent time in prison bullies me for no reason...amazing..but when it was their fault and I warned the security about his continual harassment. They did nothing until he physically attacked me.

I have been told that Mike's in Oklahoma City is still a very violent bar with fights every weekend. I will write a letter to Daily Oklahoman (disappointment) about the violence in clubs.
They let me buy a pitcher of beer until the fairy bartender and old lady that remembered me decided I had to go ..
Why do bartenders only get old and angry...its almost as if the wear of being control freaks wears on th…
What am I thankful for?I am lucky to have finally found a very fulfilling job and be financially secure. I have had very loving nurturing parents that were always there for me. They took me around the world and were dedicated to my education.I had a strong nuclear family with my parents always together. They taught me to exercise and always eat healthy. I was very fortunate to have had a wife who loved me with all of her heart and it made me realize that only the good die young. I am happy to realize what true love was instead of just a facade and getting used.
6:39 PM

"I hope this doesn't qualify as babble to you?

The surrogate children that I teach love chess. The 300$ after taxes, that I earn for coaching the whole year, I sink totally into the program since there are no funds. I asked the woodshop class to make giant chess pieces for outdoor chess with the lumber and paint I bought. I offer an outlet for students twice a week in my classroom that might be otherwise be getting into trouble. They painted a 100 sq ft yard chess board with the school colors and beautiful indigenous wildlife in the surrounding border of the cement chess board. The biggest complaint about the school is the ugly grey cement buildings. Now there is a beautiful board in the center with the "cougar pride" mural right behind it.

We have played chess outside a few times and hope to have some human chess next year if I decide to go back.I would have loved to have this opportunity as a child especially if there was nothing but poverty in my home life living in a shack with no heat.

I give time and money to my kids…
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not so anonymous ex girlfriend of this one ridiculous anonymous said...
"When are you going to stop babbling about the same old stuff? 'i never self-actualized, i don't have any friends but a dog, i'm lazy, i have add'....whatever, dude....the reason you don't have any friends is because you're kinda creepy and you stalk people. You have a difficult time getting one single coherent thought out and putting it on one of these blogs. i know you. i lived with you. you are a whining pain in the ass with no personal respect for anyone...and if you can linger around everywhere on the internet that i want to be and i have to continue to listen to the SAME crap that you have been incoherently babbling about for seven years at least....then you can just read the damn answer to why you have no friends and why your relationships failed. the question was, 'how do you live with yourself,'....and the answer to that is YOU CAN'T. you have to be right in the mi…

How does a loony hippy witch fall in love with creepyness?

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some fan mail:
a not so anonymous ex girlfriend, ( she left out her name of course) of this one ridiculous anonymous said...
When are you going to stop babbling about the same old stuff?


I guess it is a broken record about my failures...but you only married failures, your ex husband says you are a failure and now you are in very poor shape physically and mentally...How can you expect to be a mother when you have to depend on drugs to counteract your bipolarity??

'i never self-actualized, i don't have any friends but a dog, i'm lazy, i have add'....whatever, dude....the reason you don't have any friends is because you're kinda creepy , but I still made love to you. I did the same with this other old geezer named Quentin. He kept Roscoe for me and suckered him into paying my rent for ocassional sex.

again the creepy?? Then why did you live with me ?? to sucker me into free room and board? All the bs about love was really a facade??

You have a difficult time getting one…
Maybe it's a challenge to accept the mirror's reflection on the laptop.???..all those extra wrinkles since 911...your hippy witch gf breaks up with you almost 6 years ago..but it seems like only last year.. experiencing Einstein's theory first hand...sitting here in a bier garden in a town outside a big metropolis of the heartland...an anual concert is going on for a 59$ fee, you can have your car break down or get a flat due to prograstinating baldness...Buffy is sitting with you at this new location that allows your canine soulmate to accompany you...she still has separation anxiety...
"is my master gonna just tie me up and leave me all alone to fend for myself?? Ill just bark at his ass to make sure he doesnt leave me again...I know what its like when he deserts me for long periods of time...hanging out in his yard while he goes "walkabout"...ooh I like that pretty blonde with long hair to her asssss"
Buffy has a preference for young pretty waitresses.…