Serendipitous side trip to the Broadway Cafe

I'm not sure if this is the catchiest title but I thought this little trip to the library on Westport Rd. after the coffee shop was appropo.
2:17 pm Wodinsday
It's a busy little library 2 blocks a way from the coffee shop and I can't help but get a little nervous if the homeless(?) bloke behind me bothers me for 35 cents!
I think about the moments of pondering that might change your destiny at least for the next couple of years as far who will share your life. A couple of years ago while in an altered state like you are in, you asked the Gods what might be in store for you if you decided to take the job offer. The bloke at the Buzzard Beach suggests First Fridays at the Nelson Art Gallery and you meet Muffy bartendressing the event that evening. You have a reason to become sidetracked in this adventure.
Now you see the coffeetendress who seems to be in her own wanderlust is coincidentally following you in your adventures. You last saw her serendipitously briefly working for her room at the Boulder Youth Hostel. She's back by a strange coincidence the only time you visit the coffee shop.
She's now found her temporary niche with her new boyfriend in Boulder,
coffeetending in Allyson's Expresso (?). She looks for new coffee tending niches while I find new emotionally disturbed teaching niches.
Does this all mean a new turn on the road.? What signs can you look out for????...
maybe just feel a new benchmark,
another epipheny might change your life,
or even slightly alter your philosophy...
maybe your spirituality is changing a little bit after coming out from your 36 hour comatose hibernation at the Crown Lodge
what new motto is instilled into your life to give it a little more meaning?

You write a little letter that she will never see to an ex gf
still wanting to talk to her
but she refuses to listen
as most of the angry women in your life soon became impatient listening to your song

what makes your song any different than all the other let downs in their own lives??
you are another male to blame for being a victim in a man's world

you have served your purpose
in their life
they can't profit from you anymore

listening to you is not worth
the meal ticket

I only have a minute left to talk to you hoping that you will give insight and meaning to these ramblings....

Friday in the O zone;
I woke up with Buffy begging to get out of her kennel hearing her scratching while I was escaping in my more pleasant rems of a more innocent time
in fleetingly warm confines of the now leaking water bed...
I let her outside and almost go back to sleep
when I hear the phone call from my brother, expecting to hear the worst about Dad , but he is still suffering in the hospital with his undiagnosed stomach ailments.
I want to go back to sleep knowing that the water bed must have a larger leak hearing the drips on the carpet like Chinese water torture and the sound of the uninvited guests running around upstairs in your attic, (the mice have graduated to squirrels and having to find larger traps is to overwhelming to even worry about)...I worry as someone with ADD does.
they just obess and worry rather than taking care of the problem, unles medicated.
I worry about lost loves and unrequited happiness that common sense says will never happen again.
Formerly a serendipitously warm morning in winter would bring me just the happiness of a warm winter day without any of the worries and the burdensome issues that come with age. Having a little herb only accentuates the current feelings of helplessness against the onslaught and exceeding worries of a finite life span. You sometimes are deluded(?) in thinking that you're learning to view tragedy the same as happiness;
to treat both imposters the same as Rudyard Kipling would say
...inevitable events becoming permanent images on the dwindling tape your camera.
You desire to know if someday, you will be inside another camera of the world with a totally different perspective of life ??
Will your soul find another shell or will this conciousness just be meshed into the univeral conciousness of homo sapiens and all other living things on this earth??
What does Buffy see when she runs around in your backyard just excited to see you ..
she plays with you as her paws reach for your body seperated by the makeshift backyard gate destroyed by what you stupidly conceived as your friends one fateful Halloween evening,
when your happiness was all taken away
or even thrown away over malicisously hurtful words...

So you take your neighbor out to your favorite Chinese restaurants and confess your innermost feelings. It is so wonderful to have a friend where you can confess your sins without the fear of judgement that most would give....

On a positive note, it's great to have friends like LA also where you can put your angry feelings aside and help your xmas trip end on a positive note with M...
You splurge at a nice hotel with a pool and hot tub... making up is so fun to do!
It sure releases so much negativity that was residing in your Karmic surroundings!!

Happy New Year 1/3/06
Now I'm going to have to remember 06. Dad sent me a book with his writing barely a scribble from his hospital bed. I've missplaced the hospital number and I'm also afraid to call him. He will be 90 in February. I want to get his health back so that he can experience my best years ahead vicariously. His mind is still so sharp and there are so many things that I can do, if I just get over these melancholic lonely moments.

I'm back by my Mt. Serendipachi... the sun shining on her to say hello in the morning and shedding the last light on her in the evening. I imagine the sun coming up as I'm walking to school ... then I see it as I imagined and remembered it shining on her.

There are still so many things that I can get excited about. I'm helping these severely disabled children the last block of the day.
I'm helping these other students feel good about themselves and I can see how we can become state chess champions again!

Janurary 4th, 06
Ok, I've had my 3rd day. Clay was let out of Juvi for maybe resising arrest. He tells me differently after I finally see him peering through the trailer window. I hear about his experiences and think that maybe there is a chance that he's learned from his experience of civilation's timeout room, jail.
He had to learn to become patient for 48 hours actually reading, talking, and playing chess with a few other offenders. The holding center is behind the gas station and there's more but I don't want to say even though this is a fictitious site.
I think about the town, Stone Boat, where three were murdered execution style along a dirt road perpendicular to the highway.
There is a murderer still hiding out somewhere in the reservation.
I think about how Clay needs to stay on the right side of the law rather than hanging out with young criminals of all kinds. Maybe he will say to himself that this isn't the life for him.
I've maybe said too much and wonder if the murderer and any others could so easily visit this little haven in the wild west, with Buffy being my only defense. I become paranoid but I see Buffy sleeping soundly now on the portable's carpet before I finally call my Dad very close to the end of his own natural slightly extended stretch for his soul's visit.
Pot is called biggest cash crop
The $35-billion market value of U.S.-grown cannabis tops that of such heartland staples as corn and hay, a marijuana activist says.

By Eric Bailey, Times Staff WriterDecember 18, 2006
SACRAMENTO — For years, activists in the marijuana legalization movement have claimed that cannabis is America's biggest cash crop. Now they're citing government statistics to prove it.A report released today by a marijuana public policy analyst contends that the market value of pot produced in the U.S. exceeds $35 billion — far more than the crop value of such heartland staples as corn, soybeans and hay, which are the top three legal cash crops.
California is responsible for more than a third of the cannabis harvest, with an estimated production of $13.8 billion that exceeds the value of the state's grapes, vegetables and hay combined — and marijuana is the top cash crop in a dozen states, the report states.The report estimates that marijuana production has increased tenfold in the past quarter century despite an exhaustive anti-drug effort by law enforcement.Jon Gettman, the report's author, is a public policy consultant and leading proponent of the push to drop marijuana from the federal list of hard-core Schedule 1 drugs — which are deemed to have no medicinal value and a high likelihood of abuse — such as heroin and LSD.He argues that the data support his push to begin treating cannabis like tobacco and alcohol by legalizing and reaping a tax windfall from it, while controlling production and distribution to better restrict use by teenagers."Despite years of effort by law enforcement, they're not getting rid of it," Gettman said. "Not only is the problem worse in terms of magnitude of cultivation, but production has spread all around the country. To say the genie is out of the bottle is a profound understatement."While withholding judgment on the study's findings, federal anti-drug officials took exception to Gettman's conclusions.Tom Riley, a spokesman for the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, cited examples of foreign countries that have struggled with big crops used to produce cocaine and heroin. "Coca is Colombia's largest cash crop and that hasn't worked out for them, and opium poppies are Afghanistan's largest crop, and that has worked out disastrously for them," Riley said. "I don't know why we would venture down that road."The contention that pot is America's biggest cash crop dates to the early 1980s, when marijuana legalization advocates began citing Drug Enforcement Administration estimates suggesting that about 1,000 metric tons of pot were being produced nationwide. Over the years, marijuana advocates have produced studies estimating the size and value of the U.S. crop, most recently in 1998.Gettman's report cites figures in a 2005 State Department report estimating U.S. cannabis cultivation at 10,000 metric tons, or more than 22 million pounds — 10 times the 1981 production.Using data on the number of pounds eradicated by police around the U.S., Gettman produced estimates of the likely size and value of the cannabis crop in each state. His methodology used what he described as a conservative value of about $1,600 a pound compared to the $2,000- to $4,000-a-pound street value often cited by law enforcement agencies after busts.In California, the state's Campaign Against Marijuana Planting seized nearly 1.7 million plants this year — triple the haul in 2005 — with an estimated street value of more than $6.7 billion. Based on the seizure rate over the last three years, the study estimates that California grew more than 21 million marijuana plants in 2006 — with a production value nearly triple the next closest state, Tennessee, which had an estimated $4.7-billion cannabis harvest.California ranked as the report's top state for both outdoor and indoor marijuana production. The report estimates that the state had 4.2 million indoor plants valued at nearly $1.5 billion. The state of Washington was ranked next, with $438 million worth of indoor cannabis plants.California also is among nine states that produce more cannabis than residents consumed, Gettman estimates. According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, the state's 3.3 million cannabis users represent about 13% of the nation's pot smokers. But California produces more than 38% of the cannabis grown in the country, the study contends.Nationwide, the estimated cannabis production of $35.8 billion exceeds corn ($23 billion), soybeans ($17.6 billion) and hay ($12.2 billion), according to Gettman's findings.*


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  2. Thanks for the comment.Writing a journal helps you put things in perspective.

  3. March 15th ...well its a full moon and then dealing with her anger every day is just too much, especially little things. I hope she learns to let go for her own health!


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