Ruby Tuesday, and the eve of getting back to the real world of work!
You walk with your head held high knowing that you are a survivor. You will find happiness. They will just continue negating you and cutting you down. They continue in their downward spiral before they get their final D.U.I. Maybe they will learn humility when they do some introspective thought about what they have accomplished in their own lives. Or they will get bitch slapped.
I had returned a movie to Blockbuster and I was in a good mood. I was hungry and was not afraid to walk into a place filled with animosity. All I recognized was the bandana twin dressed this time in a stocking cap. I greeted him when I went to the restroom. He responded with a grunt, "fine!". He still seemed to filled with hate. Maybe he has not get over me "belittling" the bartender when I tried to explain what a bar "utopia" was.
Several months ago,
Before the elections of the our Thief in the White House,the angry residents of Hudstones, Bandana boy and his angry chubby female friend from the other side of the bar went off on me when I had not even talked to them the whole evening. It was a peaceful evening but that was enough for the insecure bartender to kick me out when I was already paying the tab and remarking on what a peaceful evening it was (Martin was not there)
By the way, I finally found the closest place to a bar utopia,the Red Rooster. They allow me to bring in Buffy and I have only met warm friendly people that do not get upset when you write. They actually to take home your writing and give you positive feedback instead of perverted comments on the tagboard. The redneck does this whenever he loses an argument and is too afraid to register his comment. He is afraid we will find out who he is, a bully at the corner of the bar with no life.
Today is another glorious day.
I have been just spending it with Buffy sitting outside reading about "Writing from within" or trying to write on my outdated computer.
I was going to make a trip to UCO to fix my resume, but realize that I can do it just as well at the library. I need to make about 40 copies for the job fair tomorrow!
I know that I have made many mistakes in the past but I have had success with many students. It's funny when ever you are doing well, an insecure person might want to cut you down to make themselves look better in front of others.
I realize that I will put my best foot forward and I have some great references from the male principals whom I have worked with succesfully in special education.
It helped my self esteem a great deal when I have gone to this event in the past.
It makes you feel better to know that you can have a job if you want the location.
This is very big step for me finally going back into the hunt for jobs. It will be the first time that I will be getting up before 9 in a long time.
I think that I will reward myself with a beer and steak dinner at the Brewery in Bricktown and just avoid any bar bullies. I will make it a point of being around only helpful, supportive people that are openminded.
It is amazing how just a little of that aderall helps me focus even thought I still procrastinated until 7 before revising my resume. It is amazing how just even doing a little bit of something like that starts the ball rolling from anxiety to excitement about talking to a great variety of people. I wonder if some of them might stare at me as if they know something that I don't? But those are the paranoid feelings that can easily beset me and that critic within myself that does think that they will want to hire me. I have good reference from the last 3 male principals but I know how people talk and spread rumors.
I will walk in with my head held high knowing that if I commit to this school, I will commit to helping these children as best as I can through a variety of positive interventions! Boy! I'm already sounding like I might in the interview. I know that with my many years of experience in positive interventions and bringing up the best behaved multicultural multethnic canine in the neighborhood, I will be a great asset to the school district. I will put myself in the mindset that they need me more than I need them for a job. I want to have it where I have an option of many schools to choose from and different locations.
It is only after I've had the little bit of addaboy that I feel so motivated and excited about the new possibilities instead of just feeling so overwhelmed that I do not even feel like leaving the house.
Well, I only have 5 more minutes but I am glad to share this with you. I'm sure that a few angry alcoholics will want to stop me from success, but I hope that someday they will regret their actions or maybe they just do not have a conscience.
I thought I would give a quote from a blogger when she wrote about her own journal.
This journal exists to put things out there. When I write it, it’s for me. When you read it, it’s for you. If you know what it means, we’re connecting. If you don’t, there’s no such thing as connection. But I know better than that. Make it what you want. Karma is whatever connection we choose to make
Some folks don't want to accept or hear what I say and so I keep a journal. I am happy that I have so many readers over the year. There must be some reason that folks like to read this and maybe they might question what they do or just find what I right interesting.
I realize that some of my writing can be confrontational, but I think that I need to bring to light some things that do bother me. If people get upset that is their choice. They do not have to read my journal.
I hope that you continue to read my site. Instead of telling me not to write anymore why don't you give me some constructive criticism instead of the usual hate mail.