Groundhog Day

I was going to make this post into a literary event... kind of in the same vein as Bill Murray repeating each day until he finally gets it right. When he gets it right he gets the girl.

There I was in Galileo's waiting to read some old love poems for the open poetry night. I sat at the bar and ordered the vegetarian pizza with bacon bits. They did it the way I asked but it was no better than the pizzas they make for me at Cici's.

So I saw this attractive lady sitting at the bar gulping down shots. We would occasionally exchange glances as if she was trying to figure out where we had seen each other. I sensed the negative vibes of a venamous but curious female cobra(like the beautiful looking snake that bit Cleopatra after her affair with Richard Burton). She aproached me after about an hour with the question. After I started talking to her I realized that she was the heartless date that had been amused with me a couple of years ago, laughing at me thinking I was way out of her league. She obviously felt differently this time catching her looking into the portals of my own soul so deeply so she could find out my achilles heal and then bite into it mercilessly. She found a way to throw the barbs until she tired of the game, the way a cat plays with a mouse before she eats the toy.

She told me that on the date, I was acting like she was interupting my day and that I was dressed like a slob.
It was amazing seeing her and reliving that disastrous date almost like I was in an episode of blind date where the woman trashes the poor bloke with low self esteem. She said that the only good thing about the date was the kiss. She momentarily showed a sign of vulnerability, not disguising her apetite for another good kiss as a sly wanton smile crossed her lips.

She wanted to be toyingly bitchy with me tonight and I told her that I was used to dealing with bitchy women. Tonight, she amused me with her cavalier attitude to men. She was putting herself on some sort of high horse while she slugged down the shots of something one right after another... obviously showing something deeply lacking in her own life as she accelerates the journey toward it's inevitability

Here was a woman aproaching mid-life fast but her ego wants to still know that she can have a power over a man with her beauty. I told her that some women are very effective at using their power of knowing to how to manipulate a man to get what they want. She had a very big diamond ring on her finger. (maybe from some previous conquest with the carcass trashed along the highway of her life)

I was not attracted to her except in a superficial sort of way ...
I do not fall for shallow ladies with little depth.... But they are an intriguing species of woman along with Lady Macbeth, Lucretia Borgia, and of course don't let me leave out Barbara and Laura Bush. Some folks can drain other people's souls taking everything they can from the victims. Rationalizing her behavior, she throws them away with no remorse or even a conscience (What was was going through the mind of the teenage Laura Bush when she ran over her boyfriend? Or does she have a conscience and relive that moment in her mind causing the glazed over look with the Stepford smile when she's interviewed?) . Have you heard of pysychic vampires?

Then there are women with depth. Muffy loves to read and expand her horizons. I love the way she devours a book like the "First Ladies".

Well, I'm going to finally go to sleep while watching bits of the movie, "Angela's Ashes". It is such a great book and I love the way Frank McCourt puts words together so beautifully the way other Irish authors use words so well. I thought of Ulysees where James Joyce explores love.

McCourt goes so beautifully into his own childhood. I need to do the same about my own childhood in the same way. Sometimes I'm amazed how something can be put together into a book thinking that it is some monumental miraculous task. I know it can be done. I think of the way my ex gf, Millicent, finally wrote and rewrote her book until it was right to be published. I was so flattered that she said that I inspired her to write it in the third person. This helped her to deal with the most traumatic situations of her abuse physically and emotionally by her parents, both mother and stepfather. I believe it also gave her the courage to also let it be published still fearing reprisals from her parents.

Now she is happily married to a fireman :(. I haven't heard from her in a long while. Oh well. She is a wonderful woman and happy that I helped her a little bit and she also helped me find out more about who I am. Her life is blossoming now. She is seeing the fruits of her passion and her very hard work.

Muffy has so much inborn talent and depth that she doesn't realize. It is so hard for a single woman to bring up a family by herself without any help....all on her own...but children can take away all her energy so she doesn't have a chance to see her own talents bloom.

I could see that when her kids are grown up how she can put herself through medical school or be on a campaign helping the next president, especially if it be might be John Kerry or Hillary Clinton.

Well, I'm going to make it a point today to not feel guilty and do a lot of reading. I'm hoping that it will be sunny so I can a find a warm spot to read probably in my car with the top off....mmmmm....sun :) south???...just do something Garvald!

Oh yeah, maybe I'll make an audition tape for the show, "The Aprentice"
I will say that they need a creative maverick like me to keep the stepford stiffs in corporate America on their toes! It has to be 60 seconds and I have to give it to channel 4 by Friday as the show will be doing some auditions here in OKC, the cultural hub of the universe! I have nothing to lose except pride. I already lost that at Lumpy's or Hudstones!

I know Muffy, good night!

Thursday, February 4th

Now actually, I am feeling like the way the dangerously pretty lady was soon to have the humility of middle age, described the way I was dressed,
"slovenly". (But she liked the sandals that I had on verses the old pair that she might have seen 2 years ago. Muffy has good taste for shoes, clothes and good looking bald middle aged men).

Charles was interupted from our walk by the chairman for some "coffee".
Unfortunately, he was feeling very tired after the coffee so he wasn't up for a walk. He was kind enough to listen to me unload about my life sharing a couple of Tecates. We leaned against his truck absorbing the gorgeous day. I was sad that I just didn't go ahead and go for a long walk in the sun.
A sunny day can bring you out of the doldrums so much sometimes. So Charles took a nap and I actually felt like doing that too, but I had a little adderall so I made some phone calls. I feel good that I finally called the police asking about the report that I had made in the summer. The officer was much more helpful. Then I called the owner of Lumpy's and he said to go ahead and sue him. The bartender and everyone witnessing was friends with the perpetrator or the staff, so they all gave written statements to discredit me. The one bartender, who I thought was my friend, said that he did not see it. I don't know how anyone could have missed a big guy like me being body slammed. This was violence by a bloke that had been kicked out of anger management classes for threatening the teacher according to Nan. I had heard that he had been kicked out of lumpy's and numerous other places for assault. Then when I got him off of me and stated that I was filing charges, the bartender on steroids slammed me.

I guess that I have no choice other than to take it to the next step. It would be nice if the establishment and the attackers pay the bill. I will need to at least talk to a lawyer and maybe write a letter to the paper about needless violence by patrons and staff in Oklahoma pubs, especially on these drown nights with young testosterones totally intoxicated and wanting to pick fights to show their manhood. It also bothers me that the police that came too late to catch him, especially when he was trying to run me over in the parking lot while I was talking to them,
wouldn't let me file a report because I had been drinking (2 beers).
They also listened to the bartender who was also attacked me and believed his and the crowd that wanted the favor the Schwarzanegger wannabee.

It could make a great news story! Maybe this would be my 15 minutes of fame.


I hope you realize that I am adding humor to something that is serious, violence.
All this post traumatic stress, reliving one of many shitty moments in the comedy of errors called my life :(, is wearing me out and making me just want to take a nap... it's only 10:30....well maybe I will catch you all later...


  1. Of course people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifist for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."
    Hermann Goering at the Nuremberg Trials

    cited from "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" by George Carlin, Hyperion books, 2004


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