Coyote News, unfair and unbalanced news that will offend the most ignorant people!

COYOTE NEWS FLASH, APRIL 1, 2005

CANADA AND BELGIUM INDICT PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH ON WAR CRIMES, BUSH DECLARES WAR ON BELGIUM CITING WEAPONS OF MASS INTELLIGENCE, AND ASKS THE UN FOR SANCTIONS ON CANADA,
Bush quotes, "That country won't get beef from my ranch!"

NEA MANDATES BUSH TAKE IQ TEST SO HE WON'T BE LEFT BEHIND THE REST OF THE WORLD IN COMPETENT LEADERS!

REPORTS OF BUSH HAVING GAY LOVER AND FUNDAMENTALISTS ASK FOR IMPEACHMENT ON GROUNDS OF MORAL TURPITUDE

BUSH DAUGHTERS ARRESTED FOR CRACK POSESSION
(Reports of tooth decay from close friends of the Bush family as a result of methamphetamines)

NATIONAL ENQUIRER REPORTS OF LAURA BUSH'S EX DEAD BOYFRIEND FROM HER HIT AND RUN, HAUNTING THE CRAWFORD RANCH

NEW PROTEGE OF KARL ROVE CAUGHT LEAKING INSIDE WHITE HOUSE INFORMATION TO THE DEMOCRATS (Some people say that he wants to be the new dirty tricks meister for the Democratic Party.)

RUSH LIMBAUGH DIES OF STROKE NEXT TO BEDSIDE BOTTLE OF OXYCONTIN

CHENEY DIES OF STROKE. (Wife working on new book, "How chicken fried steak will clog arteries")

BILL O'REILLY CAUGHT HAVING PHONE SEX WITH ANNE COULTER (Secret hidden videos taken by Paparazzi of them playing with themselves while on the phone...)

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Please Lord, get my ass in gear so that I can focus on the future for our family!