Posts

Its frustrating on this blog I have to figure out how to work this better so when I do an update it doesn't change the original date ...l

True grit

I keep thinking it's going to get better in the mornin...   she cuts me down in front of my son it's difficult not to retaliate, when we have a good evening.. she expects me stop.. I want to go home and cook.. because we spent a lot of what I borrowed.. for my x..
 But  I keep hoping things will get better. they don't... A day is ruined when she complains about my home attracting  mice gives lecture on the hunta virus. I lose it.

 Especially after being called a loser, when I finally get full time, so I ask if she has ever kept a job..    
    So it's about a week later... My determination to keep our family by helping my x to feel better about ourselves... watching American grit with John ciena .. he has charm and grit impressed with the way he had his audience.. they love him... I see the similarities between himself and what I could have been or what maybe I still can be!
one thing I learn from my own history, is that is that sometimes I learn very little from herstory....


how come they don't ever say her story?   ... I thought there was a chance we could get a long, hoping that we could figure out how not to annoy each other... she complains that my place is a mess and no kids would come over because he would be too embarrassed about my home... so she takes daily potshots and cutdowns, so that I cannot help but react... things are peaceful until she gets up about 1130, I make her breakfast but she is continually making demands ... while I cannot get my son out of the house when we have had a string of 100 degree days..., so the only way to get water and some inexpensive frozen tv dinners, which you can stretch out to feed 3 , when there is enough daily requirements of sodium for our whole family with one meal!


I could go on and on... but its too depressing ... I finally had to ask her to go so I could enjoy the last week visitation of my son (with…

ancient elephants and attention challenged mermen

Image
wow....   sidetracked by a couple different herds of elephants at a  gathering in the African reserve,  ... his mind  thinking about a creature like a large ancient elephant evolving into whales... and how human creatures could have evolved into aquatic hominids... so now he's distracted by bloke who likes to hear him self talk and proclaims himself higher in the pecking order of this worlds... they establish themselves sometimes successfully...
Look at Trump   (don't get me started),,,


he says to himself that he needs to discipline himself to write at least for 5 minutes  every single day, while letting his thoughts flow as jack Kerouac wrote on every available piece of paper (even toilet paper0...he's sad or frustrated  perhaps that he cannot write as fast as the many images run through his mind...


 exhilarated, after talking to his son on Skype for an hour and a half , but with trepidation ( about when she arrives) , in my own mind a test of whether they are capable of …
POLITICO: EMAILS RELEASED BY DONALD TRUMP, JR. SHOW "AN INTENT TO COLLUDE WITH RUSSIA" TO INFLUENCE OUR ELECTIONS We've suspected from the start, but now it's UNDENIABLE: The Trump campaign knowingly tried to collude with Russian officials to influence the 2016 election. This isn't just unprecedented, friends , Okies, yanks, it's un-American. Trump's campaign team worked with a foreign power to try to swing the election against Hillary – and they've LIED about it, time and time again. The Trump administration has cozied up to Russia even when it could put America at risk – like when it moved to let Russians return to compounds they've used for spying. Now that the truth is coming out, we have to act before the media moves on to the next Trump outrage. ok.... that was just  an email about how we need to work together to impeach Trump and this whole warped republican for the rich mentality...as long as they throw in guns and abortion, the poor will k…
feel like if my life is a bell curve or just endless curves of ups and downs.... I think with me it will be an ever bigger crest, that I can body surf with my soulmate to paradise....

listening how the poor coral reefs are dying... trump and most repubs don't care about the temp of oceans increasing... thinking it wont happen in their life time.. well imagine when one you even 1 degree increase, especially if you already have a high fever.. that could put your body into a coma..
think of that happening to your world , when 50 percent of the species that you were born with will be gone before your death!!

my beloved OZ with the great barrier reefs coral dying in my state of my sons birth, Queensland..
she wants to go back there and Ive always realized and told her that I cant take Colin to Oz without her and my passport is safe in my lawyers office... we would have to get another passport and me go through the very long emotionally wearing task of getting all the paperwork and real…
Image
well finally im doing something more productive than playing this very rigged backgammon game, that I stupidly got hooked on again, figuring I could win at least half the games.. its programmed so that I lose about 52% of the games.. so if I have winning streaks, then sure enough, the opponents will have incredible luck rolls doubles necessary to get out several x in a row....

oko... ive feeling more creative lately especially when I realize I have great friends and brother who still loves me ( I think)... for some reason , it seemed like he had been reading my blog, because if I told him on his machine that ive borrowed from friends...
so now I can pay off the water bill, especially forgetting to turn off the water for my new pool (used and left on curb on another street..im not too proud to do that :( )
so now in the hot summer after going for bike ride with my Buffy so she can take her twice daily poop and the both of us old creatures need exercise !
...and pee... when she pees , I…

"Why are Republicans so cruel to the poor? Paul Ryan’s profound hypocrisy stands for a deeper problem "

I was late on my water bill, so I have to pay the full amount instead of the payment plan that I had worked out with them.. and I cant afford a plumber, so I cant the stop the constant drip in my bathtub that fills up the tub everyday.. I plugged up the bathroom to see how much im losing per day, and use it to take a cool bath...
while I have one window unit in my bedroom, because I cant afford for the central air con man to come out and find out I probably will have to buy a new central unit.. that cost over 2 k when the voodoo witch was living with me  ( karma has hit the poor lady so much but I still want to help her even with the curse she put on me)
there is no sub pay, but most  this will get better when I get my first decent paycheck in a very long time... so I don't have to feel guilty about being a very poor father..i have to figure out a way, so I am calling all the community help lines that depend on donations.. I am so thankful of friends that have helped me out.. as …
im figuring a lot of theses technical qualities of the text to speech.... I knew that I would feel better in the morning.. not feeling so lonely... just enjoying the morning... going for a swim in the new (used) outdoor tub... thinking about the moles that are digging holes all over my yards, especially my backyard,.. trying castor, oil, poison peanuts (animal rights activists will be mad) and even tiny bits of bubble gum, hoping they might choke on the gum... is that horrific? actually saw the mole, peering through the hole I help make to put gum down there...it appears the mole likes the gum and has come right out in the open with more mounds showing up each day...
so I have a lot of things to write about, but instead want to sidetrack myself with this silly rigged game of backgammon when I know I have to figure out the IRS dilemma, get a new social security card (lost so many) way over on the other side of the town...


this heat is the hottest week and it will be so hot...and my son…
I think I won't be able to talk to my best friend across the street if I say the wrong thing... This is my fictional diary, so please don't put too much into how I might offend thee..   we are all living creatures and there's a reason  y we are living... Our desire is to get along, but sometimes.... We just want to be ourselves so we feel much safer..        and then we come out of our caves , wave to our friends... take my dog for a quick run.

 Head to library , blogging or stupidly getting hooked to a very rigged  backgammon ... As if you are gambling.. tomorrow I will make a list, get my irs refund and figure out my insurance for new job..
. Don't get down, G! Morosely morbid over the finity  our existence on earth... OK sometime we can go to church together... But please don't take what I write personally , develop ur sense of humor.

 U know life is short!